Happy Fuckin' Holidays, Republicans!
This is a joyous season indeed! Along with enjoying the usual Christmas festivities, you can now celebrate fucking your fellow citizens as well!
Imagine the fun you’ll have as you gather your children and grandchildren around the tree, and explain to them that other people’s children will now be doing without because billionaires need the money that would have been wasted on poor and middle-class kids. Tell them about how you, being a good Christian, took food out of the mouths of the needy in order to feed the bank accounts of the wealthy – I’m sure it’s a story they’ll want to hear again and again.
This is the year you can gleefully shovel food down your gullets at the dinner table with complete abandon, finally free to demonstrate what greedy pigs you’ve always been. And surely the gaiety will be enhanced by openly laughing at your constituents – the poor schmucks who trusted you to represent their interests while you were busy finding ways to screw them for your own benefit.
The stockings will be hung by the chimney with care – fully stuffed with the cash many of you managed to wring out of the tax reform bill to make yourselves ever richer than you already are! Talk about ’tis the season to be jolly, eh?
No doubt glasses will be raised in toasts – glasses filled to the brim with Russian vodka, as you toast Putin and his puppet in the White House, and the fact that you elected an incompetent traitor to the Oval Office.
While you enjoy the biggest, bestest Christmas ever, you can shower your own families with lavish gifts without a thought for your fellow citizens who, thanks to you, will be spending their holidays worrying about the loss of their healthcare, the social programs they rely on to get by, and the increase in their taxes that millions of the poor and middle-class are now facing. But be of good cheer, because you are doing just fine, so fuck those people who were dumb enough to elect you.
One word of caution, however – if you’re an elected representative with an (R) behind your name, you’ll probably be out of a job by this time next year. So yuk-it-up, assholes, and make merry while you can. Take the time to explain to your family that there will be no extravagant gifts under the tree next Christmas despite the wealth you’ve already accumulated, because there’s really no such thing as a “trickle down” from the pockets of the wealthy to anyone – and some of you might be in dire straits by then, what with legal fees having to be shelled-out to keep you out of prison.
So ho, ho, ho to all political whores, and be of good cheer – at least temporarily. Enjoy your ill-gotten gains, and congratulate yourselves for having handed a “win” to the Idiot-in-Chief who wouldn’t be in a position to destroy our nation and our democracy without your able assistance. I’m sure the voters who will be suffering as a result of your treachery will be anxious to reward you in the days to come. Surely they’ll be rushing to the polls in next year’s midterms in order to ensure you get exactly the 2018 Christmas that you deserve!!!
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