The Button: A Nuclear Fable
"When the first nuclear-alert alarm sounded, at approximately two-thirty in the afternoon, the President flipped the switch that locks the doors to the Oval Office with tamper-proof dead bolts and then dove under his desk. His cell phone skittered across the floor during the dive; he was carrying only the cheeseburger he’d been eating. Diving under the desk was precisely what he’d been taught to do during atomic-bomb drills at that military boarding school where well-off parents sent their incorrigibles and slow learners. Within seconds, though, he realized that he was stuck. The Oval Office desk was larger than his desk had been in high school, but so was the President."
Hooray for Calvin Trillin!
More and it's hilarious.
And probably true.
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/01/29/the-button-a-nuclear-fable