General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsRob Porter is my ex-husband. Heres what you should know about abuse.
Powerful! I salute this strong woman.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/rob-porter-is-my-ex-husband-heres-what-you-should-know-about-abuse/2018/02/12/3c7edcb8-1033-11e8-9065-e55346f6de81_story.html?utm_term=.55e6bcfa2de8
White House counselor Kellyanne Conway said Sunday that she has no reason not to believe statements that Jennifer Willoughby and I have made about our ex-husband, former White House aide Rob Porter. I actually appreciated her saying that she at least did not not believe us...
Recognizing and surviving in an abusive relationship take strength. The abuse can be terrifying, life-threatening and almost constant. Or it can ebb and flow, with no violence for long periods. Its often the subtler forms of abuse that inflict serious, persistent damage while making it hard for the victim to see the situation clearly...
For me, living in constant fear of Robs anger and being subjected to his degrading tirades for years chipped away at my independence and sense of self-worth. I walked away from that relationship a shell of the person I was when I went into it, but it took me a long time to realize the toll that his behavior was taking on me. (Rob has denied the abuse, but Willoughby and I know what happened.)...
Conways statements were made as she was trying to address the good wishes that President Trump sent to Rob, along with his tweets seeming to call into question the allegations and the #MeToo movement overall. Monday, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders again declined to say whether the president believes Willoughby and me. While I cannot say I am surprised, I expected a woman to do better. But Conway and I definitely agree on one thing she said during that interview: Theres a stigma and a silence surrounding all these issues. . . . Those who are in a position to do something about it ought to.
Zoonart
(11,877 posts)I was severely mentally abused by my first husband and driven to a nervous breakdown.
I also stayed too long for all the wrong reasons, not the least of which was the fear of being labeled as a failure by my family.
I grock this fully and thank these courageous women for speaking out... all
of my sisters for speaking out.
There are so many reasons women don't leave, don't report, don't speak out. No one has the right to judge. Victims of DV deserve support.
Zoonart
(11,877 posts)George II
(67,782 posts)My wife spent years with her abusive ex-husband, working her ass off to "make it work". He was an alcoholic who more emotionally abused her than physically abused her (thankfully), and she went to more Al-anon meetings than he went to AA meetings. In some bizarre way she thought she had to work harder than he did. Finally she had enough.
niyad
(113,532 posts)Zoonart
(11,877 posts)Blessed be. My current Mr. of 32 years is the most lovely and egalitarian man I have ever known. So ...I'm whole now. That's what counts.
SunSeeker
(51,662 posts)Have a Valentine's Day full of love with your Mr.!
niyad
(113,532 posts)BigmanPigman
(51,626 posts)If Hope Hicks knows this and chooses to stay that is her choice. But covering up for him and risking our nation's security in a politically motivated lie is also her choice and it is for this that she should be fired ASAP!
ProudProgressiveNow
(6,129 posts)kimbutgar
(21,181 posts)I was not from that type of family. When it happened again I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. The final time was when I realized that he was gonna hurt me again if I didnt leave the house at that moment. It was finally over. I suffered the embarrassment of the physical abuse. I went to my priest who told me to forgive my husband and beg his forgiveness. I basically gave up being a catholic that day and never looked back. Remarried and never looked back. No man would ever lay his hands on me again in anger.
Bernardo de La Paz
(49,033 posts)When religion enables abusers it is out on one strike because that is a systemic problem, not one person against one other person. The priest probably sent several or dozens of women back to their abusers.
niyad
(113,532 posts)kimbutgar
(21,181 posts)It wasnt until many year later when I remarried my current husband that I told my Dad. He started crying that I should have told him then. My Mother and sister knew but we kept it from him. Because we knew he would have beat the guy who hurt his little girl.
niyad
(113,532 posts)any man who would lay hands on a woman or a child.
coeur_de_lion
(3,681 posts)was so different from yours. I went in to talk to my priest expecting him to say marriage is sacrosanct and you need to stay with your husband.
Instead, he said I was not in a true marriage, and I should get out as soon as possible. Then he told me to come back once I had my civil divorce and he would help me get a Catholic annulment. Then, he did just that. Helped me get the annulment, guided me through the whole process.
Truly not what I expected based on my Mom's experience with the church. I guess I was lucky.
Upthevibe
(8,069 posts)coeur_de_lion
(3,681 posts)I was worried it might be taken the wrong way.
The Catholic church has failed so many people in such a horrific way. I don't know how I side stepped all that but I did and my experiences have been mostly positive.
I would have left the church if they told me I should stay with an abusive husband. But they told me to get out, immediately.
Dorian Gray
(13,498 posts)this made me want to cry.
I'm so happy you had support behind you.
Dorian Gray
(13,498 posts)Sorry you had that entire experience. You were brave and left him, your church and stood up for yourself. I would like to think I would have done the same.
That priest has hurt more people than he knows. And his church. Immensely.