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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsKim Jong Un Reveals He Is Just Using Trump to Meet Stormy Daniels
PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)Kim Jong Un has revealed to close associates that he has offered to meet Donald J. Trump only as a means of achieving his real goal: meeting the former adult-film star Stormy Daniels.
A confidant of the North Korean dictator said that Kim revealed his true intentions behind the Trump invitation at a high-level government meeting on Thursday night. Kim said that he was a big fan of Stormys, and he decided that meeting with Trump would be a necessary evil if he wanted a chance to meet her, the confidant said.
According to the confidant, Kim first attempted to arrange a meeting with Daniels through his close friend, the former N.B.A. player Dennis Rodman, but, when Dennis said that he didnt know Stormy, Kim was, like, Oh, well, I guess Ill have to go through Trump, then.
Kim reportedly is prepared to use whatever leverage is necessary to force Trump to broker the meeting with the erstwhile porn performer. If Kim doesnt get to meet Stormy, the missile tests resume, the confidant said.
When told about Kims real reason for offering to meet with Trump, a White House aide initially expressed shock, but then added, Now everything makes sense.
A confidant of the North Korean dictator said that Kim revealed his true intentions behind the Trump invitation at a high-level government meeting on Thursday night. Kim said that he was a big fan of Stormys, and he decided that meeting with Trump would be a necessary evil if he wanted a chance to meet her, the confidant said.
According to the confidant, Kim first attempted to arrange a meeting with Daniels through his close friend, the former N.B.A. player Dennis Rodman, but, when Dennis said that he didnt know Stormy, Kim was, like, Oh, well, I guess Ill have to go through Trump, then.
Kim reportedly is prepared to use whatever leverage is necessary to force Trump to broker the meeting with the erstwhile porn performer. If Kim doesnt get to meet Stormy, the missile tests resume, the confidant said.
When told about Kims real reason for offering to meet with Trump, a White House aide initially expressed shock, but then added, Now everything makes sense.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/kim-jong-un-reveals-he-is-just-using-trump-to-meet-stormy-daniels
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Kim Jong Un Reveals He Is Just Using Trump to Meet Stormy Daniels (Original Post)
DesertRat
Mar 2018
OP
UTUSN
(70,740 posts)1. Bwah ha HAH BOROWITZ!1
Last edited Sat Mar 10, 2018, 06:50 PM - Edit history (1)
On edit: darned autocorrect!1
Wounded Bear
(58,706 posts)2. "Now everything makes sense..."
Satire is too close to reality these days. Getting hard to tell the difference.
rickford66
(5,528 posts)3. I originally saw "PYONGYANG" as "POONTANG"
I'm a bad boy.
JustABozoOnThisBus
(23,364 posts)4. And Trump wants Kim Jong Un to bring his sister to the state dinner.
She must be hot: Pence wouldn't even look at her.
OldHippieChick
(2,434 posts)5. The headline alone made me
laugh. I need to start looking at the world more like Borowitz. Makes the tough times so much easier.