Updated again: I am so in trouble. Serious advice needed.

[Sophiegirl]

Last edited Fri Apr 13, 2018, 03:54 PM - Edit history (3)

As it turns out, next week, my husband and I have been “obligated to go to a “gala” in DC. Our CEO and his wife were unavailable to attend which then fell on us to go. I did a little research as to the people who will sit at our table. These gentleman and presumably their wives are serious Trump-humpers.

I can’t refuse to go, or else I will put our company AND my husband in a negative light. If I call out any names or the name of the event here, it will be easy to identify us, thus ruining his career.

I have to sit at a table of 8 Trumpets without going full on Wonder Woman and ruining my husband’s 28-yr career.

What to do?

Where is the flu when I need it!!!

Advice on table talk without exciting violence?

———————————
Update:

Thank you all for your replies and advice. Many very helpful, many funny. You all have given me a lot of creative ways to avoid political conflict. I may or may not be too worried about this event. I go to very few of these types of things.
_________

So, to the numerous posters saying that I may be making too much of a big deal about this. The thing is, these are no ordinary Trumpers. These are high-level, in the elite club, Trumpers. It is a charity event for wounded veterans, so my focus will be on that.

It is tonight. The dinner is at an exclusive country club. This is not a group that we fit into. My focus will be on the charity goals. If that runs out, then I hope to talk about my pastry training and our favorite vacations. Off the chart, you know.

I will take the advice of many to not drink. Thanks for that advice, though I am not one to confront Trumpers under any condition.

Wish me luck.

[Doodley]

1. Suck it up. It's only a major problem if you make it one. Many of us have to go

through this sort of thing. My whole in-law family are Trumpers. Many of my clients are. You do what you have to do.

[Sherman A1]

12. Precisely

Go, make small talk about insignificant things such as the weather and spring flowers enjoy the meal and the evening.

[RKP5637]

48. Yep!!! Well said! n/t

[brush]

106. Yep, if it comes up just say you never talk about politics or religion. They spoil the appetite.

Last edited Thu Apr 5, 2018, 12:45 PM - Edit history (1)

Then ask about their kids or their career or something.

[Yupster]

39. Agree -- let's assume everyone at your table is a complete boor

So you can't be civil for one dinner with a bunch of losers?

[Tipperary]

43. Exactly. It is considered rude to talk about politics at that sort of dinner anyway.

Besides the fact that politics are not the be-all, end-all for most folks.

[TheBlackAdder]

122. Play ignorant. Praise everything that Trump is messing up as though you are writing satire.

.


This way, you will highlight the screwups Trump is doing by trying to cast them in a good light.


My daughter and I were at a Dunkin Donuts the other day, and when we got up, there was an apparent Trumpster sitting next to us to might have been annoyed when I mentioned how Reagan really destroyed hundreds of thousands of households by introducing crack cocaine as a way to fund the contras.


When my daughter stood up, she said, "There is no Global Warming." That's my clue to chime in. And then I said, "Yep, Global Warming's a myth." The woman had such a confused look on her face, not knowing to agree with it, or to question if it's actually real.


We do stuff like that to fuck with their minds. Highlight the bad things as though you thing they are good. See how many buy into it, and how many actually give a bit of a pause, as they question Trump's narrative. It's funny as hell to do!

.

[OnDoutside]

2. Or you could hire a Trump loving escort for your husband for the

evening..... he'd pick up brownies points to help his career ! Or you could go, stay sober, say nothing and enjoy the evening.

[magicarpet]

23. Stormy Daniels..... .have her fill in for you that nite.

She seems to be able to stomach the concept of tRdumpism in a social (?) setting. Would your husband mind a little - how you say - role playing ? One other consideration - does your husband mind yuge yuge boobs ?

A stand in could alleviate any concerns you may have about personally attending this event and the political conflicts you might have to endure being around this pro-tRdump crowd.

But give the idea careful thought and consideration because after having escorted Stormy out for the evening your family and your husband in particular might find themselves hounded by the paparazzi who will be camping out on your doorstep for the next six months.

No matter how you decide - the wish is for the event to go smoothly for all parties concerned - and that a nice and enjoyable evening be had by all. Hoping your husband gets a nice job promotion.

[Scarsdale]

27. I think you mean

"inciting" violence. There is a chance that some of those people feel the same way you do about the
Orange Blob, but are keeping quiet. After a few cocktails, it could get interesting! Dress in your finest, have alternative subjects to discuss, smile, smile, smile. It is only a few hours, then back to normal. Maybe your husband;s boss could not face these tRump humpers so he opted out of this ordeal.

[CozyMystery]

3. Small Talk

Rule #1: Do not talk about or let anyone engage you in conversations about politics, sex, or money (this includes social issues like poverty, racism, healthcare, food stamps, etc.). IOW, don't re-categorize something you are dying to say as a social issue, not politics.

Rule #2: Do a little research on small talk (Google). That will give you some ideas to pick out to talk about. It helps if your ideas make the other person do a lot of talking. You listen. And if they veer off into forbidden areas, simply steer them back to the subject you chose.

It helps to go into situations like this with a Plan A, and a Plan B in case someone screws up your good intentions.

Rule #3: Smile a lot.

Rule #4: You do not have to answer anyone's questions, and you certainly do not have to respond promptly. Say "I'll have to give that some thought" as often as you need to.

Rule #5: If you become outraged, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom.

[GeoWilliam750]

15. I largely agree with this poster

"Social Aikido"

If somebody starts making statements to you that could turn into an argument, deflect it with something like, "Oh really, I had no idea" or "I am so much more interested in all of the interesting people around this table", then ask them about their children (or grandchildren as the case might be) and/or pets. People will talk happily and endlessly about these subjects, and usually be very pleasant about it. Not only that, but they might come away with the impression that you are genuinely interested in them (which could turn out to be true) - which would hardly be bad for your husband's career.

[Kentonio]

18. Exactly this.

It's a dinner not a political debate forum. Almost everyone can be steered into a nice conversation about non-political things with a little social effort, and people LOVE talking about themselves.

[FakeNoose]

37. It helps to have a pre-planned excuse for leaving early

I'll give examples of excuses I've used: my sitter has to be home by 9 o'clock, sorry I can't stay longer for this really nice event, but (shrug and smile). You can only use this if people know you have small children at home.

My doctor has me on a strict regimen, I need to take my prescription and get to bed by 9 p.m. (or whatever time). Don't say what the problem is, just avoid alcohol by saying, no thanks I'm taking a prescription.

Arrange for a friend or a neutral party to call your cellphone at a certain time, just when you think the dinner will be over, and invent an emergency where you have to leave immediately. Your plant called and the transformer just blew out, your largest client just tripled their orders and you need to call in all the temps, some kind of catastrophe that requires senior management. Then just beat a hasty retreat and say sorry we can't stay longer for this lovely event. (give a worried frantic smile as you say your hasty goodbyes)

As for conversations with the Trump-humpers, don't allow yourself to be baited into any kind of disagreement or debate. It's not worth the trouble it would cause, and you won't convince anyone to change their mind anyway. They'll just all pile up on you for the rest of the evening and ruin it for you. Good luck!

[tblue37]

87. If she self-identifies as a liberal, she WILL be baited, so she should carefully

avoid doing that.

[Squinch]

51. Yep. Weather, children, movies. If they start to talk republican trash, go to the

bathroom.

You aren't going to change their minds so save politics for your GOTV door knocking, and when you get to that, let 'er rip on ears that will listen and change things.

But also, look around the table. There will be one or two wives who are as uncomfortable as you are. Smile at them sympathetically.

[Demsrule86]

52. Also read Vanity Fair and the lates NY Times book review.

Music and literature are popular topics. Also Art...luckily I like art and museums. And of course children. I have bonded to more corporate wives discussing our kids.

[MFM008]

4. Perhaps

Try to change the subject repeatedly.
I sympathize, i would not associate
with humpers if it would extend my life.
Im lucky my immediate family hate the maggot
As much as i do.

[GreydeeThos]

5. Stay sober

Loose lips sink ships (and careers).

Take an MP3 player with you, listen to music and smile during the discussions.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

6. Lie to them and don't drink much.

I refuse to engage these people in almost any circumstance because it's proven to be useless and like arguing with a stop sign. Would be particular risky for my BP in a group of them.

I would play very dumb and say I stay totally disengaged with politics. Refuse to discuss anything except perhaps some innocent hobby or academic interest that couldn't be dragged into politics.

Better to be seen as a wallflower for a couple of hours than to cause a scene.

I would also meditate on this for quite some time beforehand and perhaps do some writing on it (that works magic for me). Talk to an imaginary friend in your head while they're talking their bullshit.

Just some thoughts for you, and best of luck!

........ ..........

[democratisphere]

7. If you wear your "Tuck Frump" badge maybe the deplorables at your table won't bring up politics.

I could not attend a situation like that; there is always the flu or a really bad cold or sickness in the family excuse. If the CEO and his wife are unavailable to attend, you and yours can find a way to do the same.

[roscoeroscoe]

8. Approach it as if

You are a spy

[thbobby]

9. Don't argue with idiots

I have long thought this was good advice. Since trump I have changed my mind but in some situations it may still be good advice.

[pwb]

10. Do what a trump supporter would do at a table of democrats?

Tell them you don't know what they are talking about because you don't watch fox propaganda. Tell them you have never heard of what is important to them. They will leave you alone then.

[Rhiannon12866]

14. That's good advice. There really are people who don't follow politics

There are a million other less controversial subjects, sports, pets, gardening, cars, food, travel, the weather. Feigning disinterest if it happens to come up is definitely the way to go.

[CountAllVotes]

11. Xanax?

Got any? If so, take one before you go!

Try to keep it sort and oh so *sweet*.

I feel for you believe me. I have some "friends" that have gone die-hard puke. I can barely stand to talk to them on the phone much less deal w/them in person!

Good luck & hang-in there. It WILL BE OVER SOON! Keep telling yourself that!

[mnhtnbb]

13. Go with a list of questions to create fun conversation

about personal experiences. Remember that most people enjoy talking about themselves. Give them the opportunity to do so. They can be round the table or to the person sitting next to you.

Examples

What is your favorite vacation

Do you have a pet. What is the silliest thing it's ever done.

Favorite city. Why.

Best concert you attended in college.

If you could have a years sabbatical from work what would you do and why.

Favorite movie.

Ever had a sense of deja vu? What was it about?

Do you believe in ghosts? Ever done a ghost walk tour? Ever seen one or felt a presence ?

Make up some of your own questions ahead of time and stay away from topics of politics, sex or religion.

[Arkansas Granny]

30. Good advice. People do like to talk about themselves and a few innocuous questions

allow you to direct the conversation.

[Tanuki]

33. Those are some great questions! I hope I get seated next to you

If DU ever has a "gala"! You sound like an excellent conversationalist.

[mnhtnbb]

109. Ask the right questions and it's possible to get people talking

about their experiences and something of interest to you while you listen.

I've been to my fair share of dinners seated next to people who have no idea how to engage a stranger in a conversation. But ask them...and sometimes
they won't stop talking! You can always excuse yourself to the rest room (or the bar) if you can't stand it anymore!

[Amimnoch]

16. Semi Colbert Report approach works for me.

I use sympathetic opposition comments in my own professional circles. State opposing views from an ally’s approach.

If the topic comes up about the Confederacy monuments or battle flag, i comment along the lines of “I just don’t understand why good Republicans support the worst Democrats that tried to lead a revolt against our great nation.”

If the topic of Tarriff’s come up, you just wish it didn’t harm our great farmers of our heartland.

If it’s a topic about GLBT rights, I throw in that it should be expanded to people who are divorced since the gospels and Jesus identified people who remarry after being divorce are adulterers. I’ve had a few instances of special success with this one when brought up in a group where some of them are on their 2nd or 3rd marriages themselves.

On the budget “I’m so disappointed that the he’s propagating the Obama era debt and bringing it to new heights. We’re supposed to be conservatives after all.”

There’s only a few topics (like abortion) that I haven’t found a good angle that I can engage them with.

You bring up his flaws as an opponent, they shut down. You bring up his flaws as a sympathetic (if fake) ally, you can get them to at least think a little, and make them a little less motivated to support.

[Ilsa]

42. You could always quote Albert

from the Birdcage:

Albert:
[discussing abortion] Oh, I know what you're going to say. "If you kill the mother, the fetus dies, too." But the fetus is going to be aborted anyway, so why not let it go down with the ship?

[brettdale]

17. tv/movies/sports

Talk about your fav tv show, your fav sports team, your fav movie.

Talk about anything non political, and if the table talk turns to trump, this is what you do.

Just say, your not really into politics, and all the time Think of MUELLER, think of Trump being
escorted out of the white House, think of November and the young people voting.

[GeoWilliam750]

19. A partial repeat of my post above

"Social Aikido"

Don't drink.

Ignore any inflammatory statements as though they were never said.

If somebody starts making statements or asking questions to you that could turn into an argument, deflect it with something like:

"Oh really, I had no idea"
"I am so much more interested in all of the fascinating people around this table"
"I pay no attention to such things"
"I am far too busy with husband and children, so I pay no mind to such things"
"It's such a happy evening, let's talk about happy things"

then ask them about their children (or grandchildren as the case might be) and/or pets (perhaps ask to see pictures, and coo over the photos). People will talk happily and endlessly about these subjects, and usually be very pleasant about it. Not only that, but they might come away with the impression that you are genuinely interested in them (which could turn out to be true - small chance, I know) - which would hardly be bad for your husband's career.

Also, you might be able to simply buttonhole one person, and talk to her all night.

Control the focus of their attention. Keeping control of the conversation is important while staying focused on the person in front of you. Virtually everyone is a sucker for a rapt listener. The potential subjects are endless, with children, grandchildren, pets, food, gardening, (cars - more for men), clothes (complimenting the women on their clothes is probably required anyway), the new iphones and a hundred other potential subjects.

Any one of these can be made an interesting topic for hours, and if you can occasionally ask for advice on something (even though you could not care less), the conversation partner will be flattered that you clearly appreciate their wisdom - as is amply demonstrated by the many answers to your request for advice here.

So long as you do not let yourself be baited, you could turn the evening much to your advantage.

[muriel_volestrangler]

20. If it's not related to politics in any way, talk about the subject of the gala

They should want to talk about that anyway, and it ought to show you and your husband in a good light.

[vlyons]

22. This is a great opportunity to practice patience

I'm a Buddhist. We have this practice called calm abiding mind. No matter what stupidities the Trump humpers say, the practice is to maintain a calm mind that remains undisturbed, tranquil, at peace. Patience is the antidote to anger.

[snowybirdie]

24. Smoke some weed

before you go and it'll all be sooooo funny.

[Botany]

63. +1 It will help

And remember to work on your "acting skills"

"Oh, I didn't know that" and "What is the best place to go out and eat
where you live?" "Have you ever thought about getting a tattoo?" are good lines

remember to raise your eyebrows and open your mouth when you smile ...
avoid the forced smile if you can.

[GreenEyedLefty]

25. I've been to functions like this over the last year.

Politics never came up. You may be worrying over nothing.

[DrunkInTheAfternoon]

26. Just suck it up and go.

You're not 14 (I believe)....

So, go out and see if you can conduct yourself like a nice, big person.

[Duppers]

92. Condescending much?

That was downright insulting.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

102. Not wrong though.

For my job I have to deal with a lot of people I don't like. I'm able to do it without going off on them. And that's a work setting. This is one day. I'm sure anybody can handle doing that. It's really a pretty basic social skill.

[Generic Brad]

28. Talk to them about their families

Grin and bear the rest of it.

We've all been there. There are some battles worth fighting to the death. This is not one of them.

[rtracey]

29. just

Just keep your mouth in check, enjoy the food and live on....

[Throck]

31. Don't wear underwear.

When the time is right tell them to kiss your ass.

[BlueTsunami2018]

32. Is it so hard to just nod and smile?

Direct the conversation away from politics if it comes up. I know some Тяцмр voters and he isn’t the only thing they talk about. In fact, it rarely comes up at all. Without trying to be a dick, you shouldn’t have much trouble getting through a party without destroying your husband’s career.

[HopeAgain]

34. Set boundaries?

"I find politics so devisive today, I'd hate to see a lovely evening like tonight spoiled by it."

I am curious as to what career your husband has that his wife can't have a political opinion.

[sharedvalues]

35. No, do not say that

That is a right wing talking point designed to let he GOP off the hook. It implies both sides are the same.

How about “Since there are so many lies being told about politics today, I’d prefer not to discuss it.”

Or if you want to stick closer to the truth “Since there is so much propaganda in the public sphere today, I prefer not to discuss politics.”

[MichMary]

89. Who says she can't have an opinion?

Everyone has an opinion. This is about manners, and not spoiling dinner by picking fights with people she knows disagree with her.

[HopeAgain]

101. She said being identified on here

thus ruining his career.

[MichMary]

108. Well, it depends on what she's posted,

doesn't it?

[sharedvalues]

36. Ah. Dont completely abandon your principles.

It’s crappy to totally roll over and let the right wingers win. If it is REALLY important to your husband, I guess you do what you have to do.

But this is a critical time in our democracy and it’s important to stand up for one’s values. We are on a slide down to autocracy.


If the dinner is mainly exec types, this article is good preparatory reading.
https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2014/06/the-pitchforks-are-coming-for-us-plutocrats-108014

If you can drop a quote about how the “right wing propaganda media is trying to destroy truth in public debate, to help billionaires destroy government to cut their own taxes.” you will have done your part

[Vinca]

38. You have 2 options. The first choice is taking it on as an acting role (much as Trump does daily)

and portray the dutiful wife and say nothing about Trump. What the hell . . . it's only a few hours. The second choice - and possibly the most successful if the tablemates are heavily invested in the stock market - is to bone up on facts and figures about trade, the economy, the market over the past decade. Tedious, but in the end you get to trash both Bush, Jr. and Trump without saying anything bad about them by name.

[samplegirl]

40. My poor girlfriend in Flordia

Got a job some 30 years ago working for a large yatch company. Which was owned of course by Republicans. She suffered through what she thought was the worst years ever “The Bush years” until the years of Trump! She could no longer bite her tongue and resulted in her losing her job of over 30 years. She had a lot of experience and had flown all over for them, but now at age 60 she felt less sellable. She found another company but said you can’t talk politics on the job unless your one of them! She said she would much rather listen to the ridicule of her own party than to hear them boast about how great Trump is. Just to much for her to handle. She said I have to work and it’s not worth losing another job again and risk not ever getting another job st age 60!

[NCTraveler]

41. You have something Trump doesnt.

Last edited Thu Apr 5, 2018, 02:04 PM - Edit history (1)

Impulse control.

Give yourself some credit and make the best of it. You are better than they are. Trump is making all of our lives more difficult. You don’t need to be the reason of additional pain. They cannot win so easily.

I have faith in you. Plan something you look forward to right after the event. Ice cream on the way home. A walk by the river. A little spice with the hubby . Take care of yourself. You have the strength.

[Sophiegirl]

111. Thank you.

Many of the responses have been very helpful. Some have been pretty funny, so it lightens my spirit.

[Ilsa]

44. Great advice in this thread!

Remember that you are a better person in so many ways. Ask others what charities they are involved with and express interest in the things that fill their lives, and think about how your lives are similar. Find common ground. Remember your ultimate goal: maintaining or elevating your husband's position in the company.

Take half a low dose Klonopin, but don't drink, if that helps.

If you are a really good actor, you could play along.

Keep in mind that they may not all be trumpers.

[zipplewrath]

45. Don't respond

Welcome to my world. Easily 80% of my bosses are deep red republicans. Slowly over the years I've made it clear that I'm not. But I've done it mostly by not engaging. They make a bad joke, I don't laugh. They say "don't ya know", I respond "no, actually, I don't". The vast majority of these people are looking for affirmation. When they don't get it, they move on. In the case of your situation, where you are supporting your spouse, it will be important for you to "move on". i.e. "No, I don't, but I understand that you and my spouse are going to....". Changing the subject says that you don't agree but you'd rather talk about something "agreeable". At that point either they can be "agreeable" or they are the ones looking to "pick a fight" and everyone else will notice.

[still_one]

77. Great advice

[GoCubsGo]

46. When I want people to leave me alone, I just start talking about my cat incessantly.

Works every time--except with other cat people. In that case, I'd rather keep talking about cats, anyway.

On another note, I am shocked at all of the suggestions for taking drugs. WHAT. THE. FUCK??? Everything that has been suggested requires a prescription. Should she go to the doctor just for a prescription to get through a damn dinner party???

[Demsrule86]

54. No, she has to impress these people...she and her hubs are going in lieu of the CEO.

The CEO expects them to represent him/her.

[GoCubsGo]

62. To which I say, "Suck it up, Buttercup."

As others have pointed out, there's plenty else to discuss, besides politics--assuming that even gets discussed. And, beingbing drunk or strung out on Xanax or Clonipin sure isn't going to impress anyone.

[Demsrule86]

66. You are absolutely right. I never discuss politics and have gone to such events. We once had

to ride with the second in command of the entire huge company to an auto show...it was a two hour ride. It turned out to be fun and the gentleman got me into Blue Sapphire gin...the best gin in the world. We went for a couple of drinks after the show...and you can bet I didn't drink to much. He still sends us a Christmas card.

[GoCubsGo]

72. I live in the town where Lee Atwater grew up.

That gives you a good idea of the political persuasion of most of the people here. Mostly FOXbots. But, they rarely bring up politics in a discussion. And, when they do, they're really easy to shut up, for the most part. One also can't assume they're all Trump lovers, either. I have been surprised a number of times by offhand comments regarding him.

[Demsrule86]

82. That is true. I hear people in Ohio that I know are Republicans saying shit about Trump. I once

lived in Georgia and if you talked politics your kids weren't invited to other kid's houses...the news is skewed there too...I quietly worked for the Democratic Party...If I had been really outspoken Hubs and I would both have lost our jobs.

[Sophiegirl]

83. Excellent

I can go on and about cats.

[Atman]

47. I've become quite adept at dealing with this bullshit.

Last edited Thu Apr 5, 2018, 08:37 AM - Edit history (1)

I run into a lot of Trumpies. One key is to stay sober! Then, just say nothing, or use phrases and responses that mean nothing. Like when you see an ugly baby and say "Wow, now that's a baby!" When people start up with stuff about Trump's great economy, you can say things like "Well, we've certainly had a great run for the last several years. Very happy to see that we're able to keep it going." I just make it a point to never mention him by name, and if I do, I certainly never refer to him as 'President Trump.' It's subtle, but it helps keep the tension down, and your guests never really know if you're agreeing with them or not. So if they want a fight, they'll have to start it themselves, at which point you say "You're obviously passionate about the subject, but, in the spirit of this event tonight, this probably isn't the proper venue." Then excuse yourself to go bang your head on the wall in the bathroom or order another drink. But just one! Or two. Or...

[Demsrule86]

50. Exactly right. Although, the last time I went to a corporate party, I had the sense that,

it might be an embarrassment to have supported Trump. Hubs company is hurt by the tariffs...$20.00 added the price of some of the parts.I don't discuss politics at family parties or corporate events. The non-answer answer that you describe is perfect.

[Mariana]

85. Atman is right. Do not drink any alcohol!

Even a little will reduce your inhibitions and make you more likely to say something you'll regret later, that's just what alcohol does.

Drink after it's over, all you want, when you and your beloved spouse are alone. You will have earned it.

[Demsrule86]

49. You of course wow them. Be polite, sparkle,and be witty...as a long time corporate wife,

I understand your nervousness. Oh and don't drink too much. The accountant's wife got hammered last time and he had to find another job.My husband works for a company that may have some Trump humpers in upper management. I don't know because I never discuss it nor does my husband. I have been to many parties and charity events and politics were not discussed. Have fun. I love such events. You get to dress up...there are fewer and fewer occasions like that.

[hatrack]

53. Roofies all 'round!

.

[Demsrule86]

57. hahah....they had it coming.

[mac56]

55. A phrase that works in every situation:

"Well, what do you know about that."

[DeminPennswoods]

56. People love to talk about themselves

Just ask a few questions about their parents, kids, grandkids, what college they attended, pets, hobbies, their business, etc.

[DetlefK]

58. Tell them that you haven't watched the news lately.

Ask them if Trump has stopped the american carnage yet.
Ask them whether Mexico has paid for the wall yet.
Ask them about their health-insurance, now that Obamacare has been repealed.
Ask them how much Trump's infrastructure-program is spending in their district.
Ask them how their stocks are doing.

[Orange Free State]

59. Pretend you are an anthropologist observing greedy shallow primate behavior. N/T

[rownesheck]

60. Go.

and cause a huge scene, flip tables over, curse at every trump humper, start a fire, etc. It's time to live! Show these people the chaos they embrace! You'll feel great! And don't worry, you'll find other jobs, and be international heroes!

[PJMcK]

61. It's simple

Act like the adult that you are.

[Danascot]

64. One word: Ipecac

If you can't manage to get it into their drinks you'll have to take the, um, dive. Either way nobody will be talking about Trump.

[DrDan]

65. have a couple of drinks before you leave for the dinner. Watch a couple of trump

speeches while relaxing with those drinks - or a Sarah press briefing. You'll pick up a few conversation topics of interest to everyone at the table.

Enjoy the wine - lots of it - to aid in standing-your-ground.

Get in-their-face if conservative politics enter the conversation - they like that.

A couple of nicknames for your table companions is always a good ice-breaker - "you two-bit Nazi" or "gun-nutter" or something along those lines. This provides a nice personal touch to the evening.

Refuse to shake their hands, or even acknowledge them, at the end of the evening. It will leave them wanting to get to know you and your husband better.

[ananda]

68. You will be in Trumpet hell ..

.. so I suggest wearing an asbestos lined suit
to ward off the flames.

Been there.

Once I had to play bridge with them all day at a
tournament and listen to them going on about shopping,
fingernails, and making fun of liberals. Ick.

I thought of them as rich white prostitutes with
jewels and sparkling clothes of such bad taste that
all they can do is talk about them and get compliments
from each other.

[cwydro]

69. Say what?

You did “research” on them?

What did you do? Look up their voting records in your county?

[Sophiegirl]

113. I received a list

Of people that will be at our table. I did a Google search. Took me all of 5 minutes.

[mercuryblues]

70. I agree with many others here

Do not drink, nor should your husband. Now I will go even further, Make plenty of trips to the bar to get them drinks. You drink club soda with lime, you will need it for the indigestion you are bound to get. When You need a refill ask them if they would like you to get them one.

Get them to talk about themselves and smile. If they try to talk trumpenomics either make an excuse to go to the ladies room or get them a drink. It will give you enough time to think of a way to divert the conversasion when you get back, if it hasn't been already. Oh, you mentioned you went to Aruba, where did you stay? We have been thinking of going there, would you recommend it for us?

You and your husband need to tag team on this. He needs his set of conversation diversions. Hopefully there will be dancing after dinner a great excuse to leave the table for a few. If you can't succeed in diverting the conversation, don't say anything negative, if anything at all. If they ask you something, say ohh, I'm not political at all. Warn your hubby so he won't choke on what he is eating.

Leave only when it is acceptable, when about 25% of the people have already left.

have a nice bottle of wine waiting for you at home. It will be your reward for pulling off a great night. You only get to drink it if you completely stayed clear of discussing politics.

[Sophiegirl]

114. Excellent advice

And we DID go to Aruba last year!

Thanks.

[mercuryblues]

117. Where did you stay?

We went several years ago and stayed at the Renaissance Resort & Casino. Just talking about it makes me want to go back there. I love that they have an adult only pool and private beach.

I learned how to snorkel there.

[Sophiegirl]

119. Oh my...

We stayed at a resort that was mostly time-shared condos. A colleague owned it and couldn’t go, and he invited us to go. I can’t remember the name. The weird thing was it rained three of the seven days we were there. And I had an iguana bit my toe while relaxing at the pool!!!

[mercuryblues]

121. Did it hurt?

We went on an all inclusive, meals and drinks. I did not know about the adult beach and pool (not nude) it was a nice surprise. There were plenty of other kid friendly places. I though the "man made beach" was a great idea for parents with small children. No worry that the kids could go out over their heads. And of course the real beach they could bring them to.

They asked us to not feed the iguanas, as they can get very agressive for food. All the ones I saw were lazing on rocks and looked like it would take an earthquake to get them to move.

[Sophiegirl]

123. It was more surprising

Than painful. They were all around the pools, but this one in particular was a bit more aggressive.

[MoonRiver]

71. I've been in similar situations.

All you can do is bite your tongue, and try to keep the conversation non-political. People love to talk about their kids or grandkids so I would try to keep things on that level. Good luck!

[panader0]

73. Go all "Chauncey Gardiner" on them...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Being_There

[MerryBlooms]

74. Demsrule86 is offering very good advice, I would just add this:

Carry a pretty handkerchief with you. If you accidentally react to a comment by clearing your throat or raising your eyebrows, take your handkerchief and slightly touch the bottom of your "itchy" nose (doesn't mess up your makeup that way). Use the excuse of allergies either seasonal, a certain plant/flower, or having been recently around a friend's pet, that will cover your original involuntary reaction to a triggery comment. I've used it before, the excuse works surprisingly well to casually change the subject to spring, pets, etc...

As others have mentioned, people love to talk about themselves- hobbies, family, pets, authors, music, travel.

This is a great opportunity for you and your husband to shine. Make the evening what you want, relax and have a wonderful time.

[MicaelS]

75. Talk about books, movies, shows on Netflix or PBS.

Say something like "I have always wanted to visit X, what place would you like to visit?"

[still_one]

76. Just go, and do not talk politics. Talk about anything from work, hobbies, non-political events,

etc.

It really isn't that difficult, and if someone make a pro-trump comment, just don't engage, and if they try to push that crap and encourage you to comment, just tell them you don't want to talk politics

[apnu]

78. Just don't get into it with them.

Talk about anything other than politics. Sports, weather, what your kids do, what their kids do, vacations you've been on, vacations they've been on. Stuff like that.

[MineralMan]

79. Say as little as possible. Let others yammer on.

It's an important skill to cultivate.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

80. Just talk about the Wizards and Nationals

[LiberalArkie]

81. Go with the usual. "Oh, we don't get involved with that political stuff"

Remember most people in the U.S. do not vote or ever pay any attention to political matters at all.

[Princess Turandot]

84. Doesn't your husband know these people, at least the men?

I'm making an assumption that these people are there as guests of your husband's company: i.e. the company bought a table at a charity fundraising function and invited the 8 of them. (That's the only way that I can think of that would have given you their names in advance, so you could google them.) Maybe you should just consult with him about your dilemma.

[Sophiegirl]

110. No

Never met these folks.

[Sophiegirl]

86. Thank you all so much!

I hope that the fact the event is Friday the 13th isn’t a bad omen.

Great advice and some hilarity here.

Sof

[Dreamer Tatum]

88. Talk about a first world problem.

Jeez. Get over it and move on.

[roscoeroscoe]

90. Sports

Just gripe about the Redskins' owner. Snyder? Everyone hates him. And drop some love on the Caps. Oh, and the Nats are tearing it up, right?

[WhiteTara]

91. the weather used to be a safe subject

but now it means climate change, so stay away from that one. But perhaps local flowers coming out? Traffic?

Perhaps you could take a valium before dinner and simply not say a word and smile from time to time? Don't drink wine of course, otherwise, you may not be able to contain your inner Wonder Woman.

[cyclonefence]

93. Remember that most people would rather talk than listen

It isn't your job to keep the table conversation non-political, but you can refuse to engage. A blank smile does wonders. If anyone asks you a direct question requiring an answer, say "It's so complicated--what do *you* think?"

And remember, at a formal dinner, you must switch back and forth between talking to the man on your left and the man on your right, so you control who you're talking to to some extent. Spend more time with the less offensive one.

And don't forget: you're being a corporate wife, not a real person, just for this one occasion. Think of all the fun you and your husband will have talking about this in the car going home!

[HipChick]

94. I had to do this last week...corporate meeting, me and a room full of Trump humpers..

older, yt privileged males..
I pretended to be a Trump Humper...It was actually funny after a while, I would bring up every negative thing I could think of, and see them trying to justify it....the best one was the Russia aspect, they were visibly uncomfortable with that one...
I needed a bath by the time I left...

[EffieBlack]

95. My approach

Is to respond to things they say with "You really believe that?" Shrug. "OK."

And it they persist, I say something like, "Trump has never in his life shown the least bit of interest in people like you. In fact, he always laughed at people like you, at least when he wasn't stealing their money. So it's kind of sad to see you going out of your way to support someone who thinks so little of you, is just using you and isn't going to do anything for you.. But I guess you'll figure it out eventually."

And then I shake my head like I really pity them.

The main thing for me is not to argue with them because they'e impervious to reason or logic. And they like a fight since one of the reasons they voted for Trump is to piss off libruls. Instead I just politely and subtley let they know I think they're being played for fools and I pity them.

[spinbaby]

96. Get good at changing the subject

I had lunch with a friend and his elderly mother recently. She was a Fox News addict and kept bringing up THAT subject. I couldn’t be rude, so I kept changing the subject.

She: I think the people on Fox and Friends are so smart.

Me: Did I tell you how smart my grandson is?

She: This person who was on Hannity lives right here in this town.

Me: And how big is this town, would you say?

[bdamomma]

97. the 3 topics not to discuss

religion, politics and age.

Anything else you can discuss.

[IronLionZion]

98. Pretend you don't speak English and they'll deport you

Find something else to talk about, like adopting children to prevent them from being aborted, or your friend's gay wedding, or your activities at a diversity and inclusion conference.

Come on, I'm around Trump humpers all the time. There are other things to talk about: sports, travel, vacations, business, great recipes, museums/monuments in DC, or anything other than politics.

[secondwind]

99. Family. Talking about their families helps. I suspect

you will sit between two men. Look at their bios and find something to talk about.

[jalan48]

100. Sports is always a good topic.

[Paladin]

103. Show up. Endure it.

Then come back and tell us all about it.

[Sophiegirl]

115. Thanks

I will take contemporaneous notes ala Comey!

[Paladin]

120. Atta girl! (nt)

[Thekaspervote]

104. When people ask me prying questions that I do not want to answer

I remain silent... and smile. Sometimes the best response is no response at all. People, especially loud mouth over the top dodart supporters usually can’t deal with silence. “He who speaks first loses.” Douglas Emerson

[Sophiegirl]

116. Years ago

I had a therapist that told me when someone asked me a personal question that I didn’t want to answer, the best response was, (innocently) “Why would ask that.”

[Thekaspervote]

105. Silence is a powerful tool

[LeftInTX]

107. Agree with everyone else about making non-politics small talk

Continue your research and find out non-political things about them, so you have a spring board into their other interests in case politics comes up.

I survived working the polls with a Trumper. We were both poll watching for our respective candidates. She was older and more experienced than me and actually gave me some election advice. We disagreed on politics, but since we were both involved in elections, she gave me advice.

[Blue_Tires]

112. Keep the conversation on sports...

Better yet, have a mental list of eternal sports debate topics, and let the snowball start rolling...

[Hassin Bin Sober]

118. Gee I thought maybe your house was being foreclosed or you had a serious health issue.

A dinner?

[Sophiegirl]

124. Well....

I do, in fact, have a serious heath issue, but it isn’t something I talk about on political boards or on any board for that matter. It is personal. Between me and my family.

This is a political board and I posted a message about being concerned for an upcoming dinner with a bunch of high level Trumpers in Washington DC. But thanks for your helpful advice.