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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsAnonymous Hacks IRS Database — Publishes Romney Tax Returns
Spoiler for the humor impaired: SPOOF
http://www.freewoodpost.com/2012/07/28/anonymous-hacks-irs-database-publishes-romney-tax-returns/
The Anonymous attack successfully retrieved 25-years worth of Romneys tax returns and published them without permission on major websites throughout the Internet. The majority of these websites removed the returns within minutes, however it was too late to completely protect the candidates already tainted image. We at Free Wood Post were able to examine Romneys 2008 tax return and found that he had good reason to fear its release. The 2008 return paints a picture of an extraordinarily wealthy man, whose low tax rate and bizarre itemized deductions will surely raise many questions as to his suitability to be President.
Romney campaign spokeswoman Andrea Saul stated last week that there has been no year in which Romney paid zero taxes. In 2008, this was true. He earned $23,425,316 and paid $412.18 in federal income taxes. This calculates to a federal tax rate of 0.0018%. How did Romney get his tax burden so low? According to his return, he had approximately $23,407,000 in itemized deductions. These deductions ranged from $78,923 for Toupee Creators Unlimited and $41,826 for Spray-on tan services to a $3.8 million dollar write-off for a trip to Las Vegas with potential campaign donors. The Romney family also paid salaries to their numerous employees including, two yacht captains, three pilots for their private jets, two professional dog walkers, one toupee stylist and a live-in contortionist. What someone does with a live-in contortionist, one can only speculate. However, the $891,064 Romney spent on an EWS Donor Party at the Pennsylvania Mansion might give us a clue. While the return does not indicate what EWS stands for, given that the deducted supplies for the party included Venetian masks, alcohol, lubricant and various Egyptian leather accessories it was most likely an Eyes Wide Shut party.
In addition to his wild nights, Romney also deducted health related expenses. These included $127,000 for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for a condition termed Pseudologia fantastica also known as Compulsive Liar Syndrome. This may explain why the Republican nominees views seem to change dramatically depending on his audience. In fact, his recent string of political gaffes may be the direct result of his inability to keep up with the many competing truths he has spoken over the past year. According to noted Psychiatrist Bryan King, Pathological liars seem utterly sincere about their lies, but if confronted with facts to the contrary, will often just as sincerely reverse their story. According to Politifact, a news organization that researches the veracity of politicians statements, only 16% of Romneys examined statements were found to be completely true.
Comrade_McKenzie
(2,526 posts)Then: "SPOOF!"
ryan_cats
(2,061 posts)Dang it all, it had me going. I love the part about supporting Toupee unlimited and a Toupee stylist. Sadly, the rest of his deductions seemed normal for an incredibly rich man.
I should have realized it was a spoof when it said he paid $400 on over $20 million on income.
RKP5637
(67,112 posts)Zalatix
(8,994 posts)If Anonymous could crack the IRS database they could destroy EVERYONE's privacy.
SoutherDem
(2,307 posts)But, could it happen?
And, could someone bluff Romney? You know the famous "Suppose I told you" question?
Smilo
(1,944 posts)......... but may be we can make it retroactive...............
freshwest
(53,661 posts)NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)It's not funny to have that subject line out there, even with the "SPOOF" disclaimer in the body.
Thanks in advance.
TalkingDog
(9,001 posts)that is all.
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)Nobody said it's a violation.
TalkingDog
(9,001 posts)on DU's Google search to make sure not one person has posted a story under this or any other headline.
Oooorrrr.... alternately, when a person sees a headline they've seen before they can kindly ignore it in 2 seconds or less.
Granted, with satire or a spoof, posting the link may not have the same urgency as a more important story that people might need to know about. But clicking a link and seeing a duplicate story takes much less time and effort than trying to figure out whether something has been previously posted.
Kindness works both ways. If you can ignore your old, enfeebled uncle who has told you exactly the same joke 15 times because you actually kinda like the old guy, you can ignore your compatriots on DU.
jmowreader
(50,562 posts)I don't see any deductions for dog crates or cargo straps.