Serious question: while both are considered "vulgar", why is calling a man a prick less offensive

[Atticus]

than calling a woman a cunt? Isn't the great disparity in the perceived offensiveness due to "protective" sexism?

[Caliman73]

1. Social power. Plain and simple.

A man can be a prick and be successful with little consequence in this world. Men are expected to act like pricks and it is called being assertive.

When a woman is called a name, any name basically, it is used to dehumanize her and put her in her place, which is subservient to men.

Clear enough?

[guillaumeb]

2. Very clear.

Very well said.

[Chipper Chat]

28. A perfect example of "a prick"

is the guy in the National Car rental commercial.

[nolabear]

3. And lady parts are ooky and magical. Dirty. Frightening.

Half of society forever has tried to deny their existence while making monuments to pricks. We’re so powerful and mysterious we have to be made shameful and kept bound up.

Even in progressive-ish Times the language still holds the old attitudes.

[Atticus]

5. Agree with all you said. Sort of like an aggressive man is termed a "hard charger" or

a "go getter" but an aggressive woman is called a "bitch".

A friend kept a plaque on her desk that read "You say 'bitch' like that's a bad thing!"

[Caliman73]

10. Yep. People try to re-appropriate words that have been hurtful and oppressive.

Bitch has lost its sting over the years, though I personally still see it as offensive. The sad truth is that men still make up the rules and manly or masculine qualities (whatever the hell they are) are considered good, and feminine qualities are inferior.

One day that will be different. Hopefully soon. I am ready to have women run the world for a few centuries and see how it works out.

[NewJeffCT]

46. That reminds me of some lines from the new Mean Girls musical

Based on the Tina Fey movie Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan - Fey also put together the musical that recently premiered on Broadway

This is towards the end after Regina has been brought down to earth, from her lofty perch.

Regina: “People say I’m a bitch, but you know what they would call me if I was a boy?”
Cady: “Strong?”
Regina: “Reginald. That’s what my mom was going to name me if I was a boy, so honestly I’d rather be ‘bitch.’”

[Raine]

8. Exactly.. nt

[panader0]

9. Wait. "Men are expected to act like pricks"?

Where does that come from?

[JonAndKatePlusABird]

12. Corporate America?

I have absolutely been told that I need to be "less passive" and "more assertive." But the second a black person and/or woman (God help you if you're both) acts that way, they are "too blunt" and make (white) people too uncomfortable.

Actual conversation I've had with a boss of mine, thankfully in the past.

[Caliman73]

36. I never said that men are expected to act like pricks.

Merely that they can do so without suffering significant consequences whereas women who try to act aggressively like a man, are often penalized for it in significant ways. When they behave in a neutral or feminine way, there are told that they are too weak to achieve success except for those areas where they are allowed.

The question that the OP asked was whether the two words were equivalent and if not then why not? My answer was social power. Men have it, women do not.

[yardwork]

59. Ask all the people who voted for Trump.

[John Fante]

19. Not buying this, sorry.

The labels "prick", "dick", or "asshole" are never used in a positive manner. They're generally reserved for phenomenally unpleasant men... men like Donald Trump.

The "c" and "b" words are the female equivalent of those insults.

[Caliman73]

35. The awesome thing about life...

Your approval is not needed for something to be a social norm. Regardless of the negative connotations of those words for men. They rarely have any real life consequences for men. We have had many "Dicks, pricks, and assholes" as President and not one Cunt...ever in our entire 240+ year history. We had a singularly qualified woman as a candidate and she was cheated out of the Presidency because men thought she was a bitch.

[lapfog_1]

4. when we want to insult and demean a man

some people result to calling him a "pussy".

When we want to insult and demean a woman...

some call her a c**t or a b***h.

something to think about.

[Atticus]

6. Agree. And, "thinking about" the different perceptions was the intent of the OP.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

7. Because guys like their pricks. Really, really, really like their pricks.

Woof.

[BigmanPigman]

16. How true!

[Dr Hobbitstein]

17. Why, we've written SONGS about them...

[mahatmakanejeeves]

49. I was thinking more along the lines of Chuck Berry, but that song is sooooooo awful.

What was he thinking?

[Dr Hobbitstein]

58. Yeah, Chuck Berry's was really bad, too. Nt

[Kaleva]

11. Impossible to insult those in power

What names are truly hurtful to white people?

[Atticus]

14. I see your point, but the brush you are using is too broad. Any decent, thoughtful

person of ANY color would be insulted by being called a racist or misogynist or, in my case, a Republican. If you told me I reminded you of Trump I'd be damned insulted.

And, while I certainly acknowledge white privilege, I assure you not all white people are "in power".

[Kaleva]

18. I'm thinking more of insults that are race or gender specific

If you wanted to insult a man, what names do men actually find hurtful? Prick? Dick? There are none.

[JonAndKatePlusABird]

23. Yup

I was discussing my post upthread with a male friend (I'm a guy as well), and we both tried to find an insult to men, like "cunt", that is as cutting as an insult. We couldn't find any.

[John Fante]

25. Sadly, the quickest way to insult a man is to question their

masculinity. Homosexual epithets work well.

I don't get the brouhaha over Samantha Bee. At all. Having said that, there are a whole host of words that absolutely objectify and demean women in horrible ways, and they are MUCH worse than any insult you can hurl at a man.

[HopeAgain]

15. Why is that point so hard to understand?

White men like me don't suffer the effects of racism or misogyny

[mythology]

20. Have you heard of Donald Trump? He claims everything is an insult to him

This farcical notion that those who have power can't be hurt with words is amazing to me.

[Kaleva]

40. Do you believe anything Trump says?

[kcr]

42. Oh, poor Donald Trump!

Do you cry for him every night?

[ProfessorGAC]

45. Huh?

You used PINO as an example? Talk about farcical notions?

[LanternWaste]

47. The farcical notion anyone would believe Trump's allegations is amazing to me.

The farcical notion anyone would believe Trump's allegations and manufactured outrage is amazing to me.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

13. Men are called "Pricks" because. .....

God gave men 2 heads, and most are incapable of thinking with either one of them.

[Atticus]

26. You have a nice evening, too. (Bless your heart!) nt

[The River]

22. It's Primitive

and a biologically driven instinct.
They are useful, quite handy and
more fun than....everything else.

Owning one can be a burden.
It makes us competitive, primarily
for mates, but it spills over into every
aspect of our lives. That's where the
problems begin.

As for the supposed phallic insults?
We think they're compliments.

[mythology]

24. I don't use either term for multiple reasons

The first, I don't insult based on characteristics as that's out of a person's control. Same with skin color (exception made for those who decide to tan themselves orange because that's a choice), national origin, sexual orientation etc. It's generally not funny.

The second is yes, if I justify it based on one gender, I'm justifying bigotry in my own words. I'd by hypocritical if I said oh, I can't insult a black person or a woman based on their inherent characteristics, but I can do so to other groups. To me that is a slippery slope, and intellectually inconsistent with my values.

And lastly because if the most creative term I can come up with are gendered body parts, I'd be embarrassed by myself.

[Atticus]

27. Thanks for the thoughtful response. nt

[trixie2]

29. A woman described in this way

was found to be acceptable to rape, sodomize and kill.

[TDale313]

32. Yep.

There is a history and violence connected to calling women a cunt or bitch that is not the same as calling a man a prick. I try and avoid all of these, but there is a difference.

[FiveGoodMen]

54. That's a sweeping statement to make without any history, details, link...

[trixie2]

56. It was an assignment in grad school about language and its affect/affect of history

You can google the word and violence/rape/misogyny.

Didn't think I needed a link for common education.

[FiveGoodMen]

57. Well for one thing, grad school isn't really "common education"

[lunatica]

30. I have been using that same example on various threads

It is simply not in the same category as a racial, anti Semitic or anti Muslim insult.

[TDale313]

33. It ab-so-fuckin-lutely is.

[kcr]

43. Ab-so-fuckin clueless

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

31. Men have power. Women don't.

And although being called a prick basically means you've been called a jerk or an asshole, etc., a prick is also a thing that's important to men and implies strength. Calling a man a prick doesn't suggest that he's weak, while calling him a pussy (a somewhat less offensive word than c*nt, but meaning the same thing, biologically) does - because you're saying he's like a female. That's a lot worse than being a prick, which means maybe you're an asshole but at least you're not weak. It's OK to be a jerk as long as you're not weak. Look at guys like Trump, who revels in being a prick - and his followers love him for it because they think he's strong.

Calling a woman a c*nt, in contrast, is especially offensive because it reduces her to the only body part men in power value her for.

The degree to which an insult is offensive often depends on the relative degree of power possessed by the insulter and the insultee. It's kind of like why n****r is a whole lot worse than wypipo.

[Atticus]

34. Well said. nt

[smirkymonkey]

37. Great answer.

Thanks!

[meadowlander]

38. Agree that it's about power.

A man can be a "prick" and still be saying something worth listening to. He's just saying it in a way that is overaggressive or insensitive to the listener. Lots of men who are "pricks" are still given respect and social standing like Jack Nicholson, Mel Gibson (for a very long time), Russell Crowe, Sean Hannity, Newt Gingrich, Lyndon Johnson, Tiger Woods, Alex Rodriguez, half the people working on Wall Street etc. "Pricks" can get the job done, even though the way they do it treads on other peoples' feelings. There's a sort of grudging admiration there for their self-confidence.

A women who is a "cunt" is not worth listening to, does not receive any respect or social standing and does not include any redeemable qualities. Calling a woman a "cunt" means "shut up and go away - you don't have the right to speak here". Women who are labelled as "cunts" are denied access to power and influence. And they are called "cunts" for actions that are not objectively different to behaviour that would lead to a man being labelled a "prick" without being cut off in the same way (and generally for significantly less offensive behaviour). Generally a man has to be pretty obnoxious before you would call him a "prick" whereas probably every woman who has ever disagreed with anyone online has been called a "cunt" at least once.

It's the difference between a vulgar term meant to call out bad behaviour versus a vulgar term meant to put someone in their place. And it's the use of "cunt" for the latter purpose which makes it sexist, whereas "prick" used for the former purpose is not.

[NCTraveler]

39. A man in a bar who hits on multiple women just looking to score...

Is called a stud.

A woman doing the same is called a whore.

A gay man doing the same is called a flamboyant something or other.

These words are used to help keep the power structure going. No additional demeaning comes from the use of the word prick. Using jerk in its place provides the exact same context. Cunt goes much further in the reasonings for its usage. Words have different societal contexts with respect to the target audience.

Power

[ariadne0614]

41. What is "protective sexism"?

I’m not familiar with that term. Aside from that, I’ve really appreciated the comments in this thread. If nothing else, the SamBee kerfuffle has opened the door to a fascinating discussion.

[treestar]

51. Also called "benevolent sexism"

Like the man protecting the woman because he is strong and she is weak, holding the door for her, paying for her, other things in the traditional male/female roles that men did as a concession on the ground women were inherently less able to take care of themselves.

[Orsino]

44. The great disparity of perceived offensiveness results from the great disparity in power.

In comedy, the rule is that punching down isn't very funny, or not sustainably funny.

[LanternWaste]

48. A promiscuous male is congratulated by his peers and the power structure.

A promiscuous male is congratulated and envied by his peers and the power structure.
A promiscuous female is called a slut, and shamed by her peers and the power structure.

Now... project both that sentiment, the disparity you reference, and the gender-based social consequences onto a set of words.

[Lee-Lee]

50. Honestly it's a complex issue with no clear answer

Part of it is stereotypical gender roles.

Part of it is American development of slang. The same word doesn’t carry the same connotations at all in England or Scotland, for example. You will hear it thrown around without a thought by many people from those counties.

So why does it carry such a negative connotation on in the USA but in other English speaking countries it’s almost just a synonym for “person” without the same stigma?

I suspect the answer lies in several things, from the higher level of prudishness to the deeper levels of misogyny in US society historically over the Brits.

[TimeSnowDemos]

52. Why

Is cock worse than dick? Why does penis make kids embarrassed, but willy make them laugh?

Because language is weird.

It changes and loses meaning and power all the time.

Why can we say scumbag on TV, even though it means used condom, but we show someone referencing sex with a circle and finger gesture?

Why is American TV obsessed with showing gore and violence and European TV utterly ok with nudity?

And on and on...

It's just history and random weirdness.

And it's like clouds, people see what they want to see.

[Gothmog]

53. From Joss Whedon

Link to tweet

[Initech]

55. Because we know we're pricks?

You're just kind of stating the obvious.

[tavernier]

60. First thing I learned as a nurse ages ago

was to be careful when instructed to prick a boil, and not to get it backwards.

[grantcart]

61. No. Words have different levels of vulgarity attached to them

The equivalent to "prick" isn't "cunt' it would be "pussy".

The equivalent to calling a woman a "cunt" would be calling a man a "cunt", not calling him a prick, which isn't a compliment but isn't vulgar either.