Some people take the rocks out of their coat pockets

[SoCalDem]

and unfortunately some button up the coat and dive in..

My major depression was a lifetime-in-the making......... so many rocks....

Lucky for me, I got professional help, as well as intervention from friends & family

The odd thing was that my anger at them for constantly bothering me and making me go outside or get out of bed or eat, seems to have been the trigger that made me "feel" again.

Until I got angry with them, I was content to be in the ennui of the daily experience that was my life..

I had (and still have) physical health, a happy marriage, great kids, normal daily aggravations, but I fell into a rut and was too exhausted to even try to get out.. I wanted to be out...not just of the rut, but out of everything..

I made no actual plans, but was probably well on my way to it..

All these years later, I am still very pragmatic about death and my kids often get on me, because I CAN see the world without me, and I do not fear death... I am not suicidal, but at my current age, there are a LOT more years behind me than ahead, and it really does not bother me a bit.

Perhaps my earlier "brush" with the idea has desensitized me

RIP Tony.. I always loved your shows and am sad that your demons won

[BigmanPigman]

1. Some people wonder why people choose to kill themselves

while others wonder why other people choose to live. It is like the glass half full or half empty. I see it both ways. If someone has chosen to live or die, it is their choice and their life. No one has any say about that except the particular individual. When I think of "To Kill a Mockingbird" Atticus says that you can never REALLY understand a person until you are in their shoes. Tony had a dark side and had been very honest in his work as a writer and TV personality about that. He told his brother, "I am a life long malcontent". He even staged a show from S America (I think it was Brazil's Sao Paulo) where everyone sees therapists. He was in a therapists office questioning why he has everything and should be happy but he feels unsettled and never content. He was very self aware and honest, even to his audience. I am stun ed but not surprised. I like his friend and chef Andre's message to him...

Jose Andres, who has known Tony for over 15 years and, a fellow chef and activist, paid tribute to his friend: “You will always travel with me.”
"My friend..I know you are on a Ferry going to somewhere amazing.....you still had so many places to show us, whispering to our souls the great possibilities beyond what we could see with our own eyes...you only saw beauty in all http://people.you will always travel with me".