Love this letter from Twitter's #SecondCivilWarLetters

[NewJeffCT]

Link to tweet

?s=19

Dearest wife,
Quick thinking saved my platoon today from the Red Hats as we erected a barrier out of Hillary’s e-mails, since they still can’t seem to get over them. War is Hell.

[lapfog_1]

1. I loved this one

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@ml42273
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Dearest husband,

We’ve trapped the MAGAts in our local library, turning it into a torture chamber. We’ve forced reading comprehension textbooks& grammar lessons 24/7. The screams are unbearable. Then we diagram sentences. I am a sadist. War is brutal.

[NewJeffCT]

2. another good one on libraries

Link to tweet

It’s Day 2 of the #SecondCivilWar. My comrades and I have set up camp in a library. There is absolutely no chance they will find us here.

Love,
Sam

[leftieNanner]

26. And next you will have them doing geometry proofs!

Cruel person!

[The Wielding Truth]

3. Clever!

[NewJeffCT]

4. another good one here

Link to tweet

Dearest Mother,
How I miss the cool dampness of my basement bedroom, the piping hot Pizza rolls you'd bring to me- the women here in the cities are very mean; how I wish you were here to tell me I am your big soldier boy.

The pic with the Tweet is the heavy young man dressed in a confederate outfit and holding their flag of southern treason with his face turned away from a woman giving him the finger.

[NewJeffCT]

6. and another

Link to tweet

My dearest Charlotte,
Wonderful news of today’s attack on Colonel Coulter. Armed only with cloves of garlic and wooden stakes, we read Langston Hughes to her over loudspeakers until she burst into flames. We advance on Daytona tomorrow, taking light beer.

[charlyvi]

9. This one made my week! LOL

Link to tweet

[Gothmog]

11. The Red Hats are coming

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[SergeStorms]

13. That's priceless!

Was there actually a Trumptard that comically ignorant?

What am I talking about, of course there was, is, going to be. These poor souls have finally found their cult leader, someone stupid enough to look up to as their grammatical guru......Donald J. Trump.

[Gothmog]

31. Cadet Bone Spur

Link to tweet

[KY_EnviroGuy]

42. Well, they do have tRump's capitalization technique down pat.

What else could possibly matter?.......

[leftieNanner]

28. I find myself reading that like

Eddie Murphy as "Buh-wheat".

"Libety" (Doesn't that word have two Bs?)

Oh My Goodness, but this is too much fun!

[displacedtexan]

19. That Red Hat has Resting Huckabee Face.

Carry on, Troops.

[Aristus]

25. Private Biscuits-And-Gravy up there isn't much into authenticity, is he?

Someone should tell him that his heroes were eating acorns and grass by the time they hoisted the white flag of surrender.

[Gothmog]

32. For this thread

Link to tweet

[flying_wahini]

40. Love it!

They are all so good!

[barbtries]

5. i spent most of yesterday reading and laughing

there were many priceless #secondcivilwarletters

and i was at work. bad on me

[barbtries]

7. my favorite:

Link to tweet

Dearest husband, we of the condo owners infantry have bunked for the night at Anytime Fitness. We will do battle with enemy at Crossfit come the dawn. We run low on Clif bars. #secondcivilwarletters

[kag]

8. This is the platoon I will join:

Link to tweet

Dear ones,
I joined the grammar soldiers trying to take literacy hill. We were met by hordes of missing apostrophes, commas, misspelled words and those unable to read for context. We are saddened but take comfort in our worthless liberal arts degrees. #secondcivilwarletters

[Different Drummer]

14. I"m in for that platoon, as well. n/t

[Gothmog]

10. For this thread

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[displacedtexan]

20. OK. This one did it! I'm enlisting!!!

[Gothmog]

23. This makes me smile

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[Hugin]

33. OMG!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*coff*HAHAHAHAHAHA*ow-my-back*HAHAHAHA!

[Cha]

35. lol

[malaise]

12. They are hilarious

Idiots must be laughed to scorn

[Different Drummer]

15. I did a search on the #SecondCivilWar hashtag and this is the first one I came across.

Hilarious!

andy lassner
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Verified account

@andylassner
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I fear if we don’t win this, the future of the word “you’re” is at stake.

#SecondCivilWar

Link to tweet

[lastlib]

16. Now, now, their.......

They're's balm in Gilead..........Don't take there war too seriously........

[leftieNanner]

27. You sure it's not a bomb in Gilead?

Our choir sings that one nearly every year.

These are hilarious!

[lastlib]

17. I read one about a battle....

I think it was the 7th Libtard Battalion (could be mistaken, but you get the pic) making an assault on Huckabee Hill, etc. One commenter said to be careful on Kellyanne Ridge, the bullsh&it was really thick up there, people were suffocating in it.


God, who KNEW civil wars could be so much FUN??!?

[RandomAccess]

18. This one may win the whole damn thing --

Look, Ken Burns made a film for my #SecondCivilWar letter! #SecondCivilWarLetters

Link to tweet

[Gothmog]

24. Battle of wits

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[RandomAccess]

21. And look at THIS one --

courtesy ThreadReader: https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1014508809270644738.html


Four score and seven hours ago, amandablount2 brought forth on this platform, a new meme conceived in humor, and dedicated to the proposition that we need to laugh.
#secondcivilwarletters

1
Now we are engaged in a fake civil war, testing whether our memetics, so hashtagged, so funny, can get us through.
We are memeing on the battlefield of that war.
#secondcivilwarletters
2
Even though senators have forsaken this great nation for Moscow, and next year might be the St. Petersburg Address, we cannot surrender our humor.
The battle has has been joined, but not yet won.
#secondcivilwarletters
3
The Fake Civil war is but one symptom of a conspiratorial RWNJ.
But we have come together to battle in cyberspace.
This great nation, divided, is still a government of the people, by the people, and worth voting for.
It shall not perish quietly.

#secondcivilwarletters
Fin.

[Gothmog]

22. they were hunting shapeshifting lizard vampires

Link to tweet

[NewJeffCT]

29. LOL

didn't Jones say that you could smell the brimstone around Obama and Clinton? (Like, Jones would ever be let within 100 yards of them...)

[Gothmog]

30. The symbol on our shields

Link to tweet

[uponit7771]

36. +1

[Cha]

34. Wow.. That's Extraordinarily

PERFECT!!!

Thank You, NewJeff!!

[Hekate]

37. These are absolutely wonderful! Thank you, DUers, thank you...

[NewJeffCT]

39. you're welcome

not from me - I just found some good ones on Twitter and shared

[MarianJack]

38. Was this written...

...at the Bowling Green Massacre?

PEACE!

[yonder]

41. These are all great, belated thanks to all