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Top 10 Idiots

(593 posts)
Wed Jul 4, 2018, 06:05 PM Jul 2018

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of: Civility Edition

Last edited Wed Aug 29, 2018, 02:38 PM - Edit history (4)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of: Civility Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! The Top 10 is dark this week because of the July 4th holiday so in its’ place we’re going to be running this best of from some of the previous editions, because we have some great stuff, and conservatives are acting stupider and stupider by the day! So just like the previous Top 10 best ofs, we’re going to post verbatim the best of the best. I also have some exciting news too is that we’re going to take our show on the road and do some live editions starting with our July 11th edition when we’ll be hanging out at the Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas with the Wheel Of Corruption! And then we’ll be going to New Orleans, Kansas City, Chicago, New York City, and then back to Seattle and San Jose, and a stop at the LOL Comedy Fest in Santa Barbara, and then back home at the UCB Theater. But we will also be taking it out to Washington DC, Virginia, and we’ll have some southern dates in the future. If you want to know the tour schedule, here it is:

- Edition #5-4: July 11th: Cap City Comedy Club, Austin, TX (Wheel Of Corruption!)
- Edition #5-5: July 17th: Café Istanbul, New Orleans, LA
- Edition #5-6: July 25th: Alamo Drafthouse, Kansas City, KS
- Edition #5-7: August 1st: Helium Comedy Club, St. Louis, MO
- Edition #5-8: August 8th: Grammercy Theater, New York City, NY (Wheel Of Corruption!)
- August 15th: Dark (Vacation)
- Edition #5-9: August 22nd: Redford Theater, Detroit, MI
- Edition #5-10: August 29th: Acme Comedy Club, Minneapolis, MN
- Edition #5-11: September 5th: Comedy Underground, Seattle, WA (Wheel Of Corruption!)
- Edition #5-12: September 12th: San Jose Improv, San Jose, CA
- Edition #5-13: September 19th: Levity Live, Oxnard, CA
- Edition #5-14: September 25th: UCB Theater, Hollywood
- Edition #5-15: October 3rd: UCB Theater, Hollywood (Wheel Of Corruption!)
- Edition #5-16: October 10th : UCB Theater, Hollywood
- Edition #5-17: October 17th: Laugh Boston, Boston, MA
- Edition #5-18: October 25th: Punch Line Philly, Philadelphia, PA
- Edition #5-19: October 31st: Zanies Comedy Club, Nashville, TN (Wheel Of Corruption - Halloween special!)
- Edition #5-20: November 7th: Orlando Improv, Orlando, FL
- Edition #5-21: November 14th: Comedy Works, Denver, CO
- Edition #5-22: November 21st: American Comedy Club, San Diego, CA (Wheel Of Corruption!)
- November 28th: Dark (Thanksgiving)
- Edition #5-23: December 5th: UCB Theater, Hollywood
- Edition #5-24: December 12th: 99 Club Leicester Square, London, UK
- Edition #5-25: December 19th: UCB Theater, Hollywood (Season finale, Year In Review Special)

Don’t worry east coast and south – we will get to you soon! So enjoy this best of for July 4th as we put together the best of the best, or maybe the worst of the worst, of the Idiots lists for the past several editions. OK enough of the intro, we got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the unexplored world of eugenics and gene splicing. I mean they must have seen Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, am I right?



So where do we begin for the Civility Edition? In the first slot from Idiots #4-18 we are going to talk about how we came this close to getting raptured when Donald Trump (1) opened the new US embassy in Jerusalem to fiery, grisly deaths. In the second slot, from Idiots #4-19, in the “too soon” column, after yet another terrifying mass shooting in Santa Fe, Texas, we’re going to tell you about the jaw dropping, stunningly stupid solutions coming from Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick (2) about how to end mass shootings once and for all. In the third slot, from Idiots #4-14, Trump’s got the worst attorneys when it is revealed that Michael Cohen (3) squealed that his mystery 3rd client is none other than Fox News giant Sean Hannity. In the fourth slot from Idiots #4- 15, the guy who we call president, Donald J. Trump (4) attempted to combine his two favorite hobbies – golf and angry toilet tweeting – while Melania was at Barbara Bush’s funeral. In the fifth slot is our weekly investigative piece “Top 10 Investigates” and from Idiots #4-16, we’re going to investigate an insanely terrifying cult called “NXIVM” (5) made famous by Smallville actress Allison Mack. At number 6, from Idiots 4-17, is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to take a look at all of the wacky survival products being offered by Jim Bakker. At number 7, from Idiots #5-1, is “Beating A Dead Horse” and this time we’re going to talk about how conservatives are getting banned from their favorite social media sites for being conservative, or are they? At number 8, from Idiots #4-19. Alex Jones (8) is planning to take Infowars 24/7. You think he’s mad on a 4 hour a day cycle? Wait until you see him on a 24 hour a day cycle! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot from Idiots #4-16 is an installment of “People Are Dumb” which includes a preacher picking the wrong place to preach in public, a guy channeling his inner Walter White, and a visit from Florida Man! And we end this best of with a revisit to our Stupidest State contest from Idiots #4-9 when we brought out our Selection Sunday complete with all the teams, stats, odds and info you need to fill out your bracket! And we’ll end with the time we recently had Imagine Dragons on the show. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

From: Idiots # 4-18

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna get raptured! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Woooooooooooooo! Woooo! Woo. Ok maybe it’s not at all as exciting as it’s made out to be since a whole lot of us are probably gonna die in a nuclear holocaust, and relatively soon. At least the doomsday preppers can say “I told you so!”. Followed by a very childish “neener neener!”. So for the sake of this piece, let’s call it “Left Behind: The Real Life Interactive Version”. Or to use something that might be more popular with the kids these days: “Left Behind: Infinity War”. Yes I’m crossing two franchises here – one has a really bizarre doomsday scenario in which half of the population gets snapped up by a crazy wannnabe god bent on controlling the universe, and the other one has Iron Man.



See you next week! What? We still have the full hour left? And Post Malone is backstage? OK. I definitely wouldn’t want to leave Post Malone hanging. So how are we going to get left behind this week?

The US officially relocated its Embassy to Jerusalem on Monday, formally upending decades of American foreign policy in a move that was met with clashes and protests along the Israeli-Gaza border.

At least 43 Palestinians were killed in Gaza as deadly protests took place ahead of and during the ceremony in Jerusalem — making it the deadliest day there since the 2014 Gaza war.

President Donald Trump did not attend the ceremony in Jerusalem's Arnona neighborhood, but in a video message broadcast at the event he congratulated Israel, saying the opening had been "a long time coming."

"Today, Jerusalem is the seam of Israel's government. It is the home of the Israeli legislature and the Israeli supreme court and Israel's prime minister and president. Israel is a sovereign nation with the right like every other sovereign nation to determine its own capital, yet for many years, we failed to acknowledge the obvious, the plain reality that Israel's capital is Jerusalem," Trump said in the pre-recorded remarks.
https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/14/politics/jerusalem-us-embassy-trump-intl/index.html




It’s good to know that today’s lunatic fringe Christians plan to create a literal version of hell on earth! I will take that one, thank you! So this weekend – the week after the Kentucky Derby – Trump managed to create a trifecta of pissing off three countries at once! And those countries are Isreal, Syria, and Palestine – countries whose bad side you do not want to get on! So how did Palestine mark this momentous occasion?

The US officially relocated its Embassy to Jerusalem on Monday, formally upending decades of American foreign policy in a move that was met with clashes and protests along the Israeli-Gaza border.

At least 43 Palestinians were killed in Gaza as deadly protests took place ahead of and during the ceremony in Jerusalem — making it the deadliest day there since the 2014 Gaza war.

President Donald Trump did not attend the ceremony in Jerusalem's Arnona neighborhood, but in a video message broadcast at the event he congratulated Israel, saying the opening had been "a long time coming."
https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/14/politics/jerusalem-us-embassy-trump-intl/index.html




So of course while patting himself on the back for a job well done of pissing off half the world while pleasing his “base”, Donald Trump seems to forget that he’s going to get a whole lot of people killed in the process. There goes that Nobel Peace Prize!

Israel is bracing for a tense week as the U.S. Embassy officially opens in Jerusalem on Monday — a move that has triggered fierce protests by Palestinians. Protests turned violent in Gaza, where dozens of Palestinians were killed by Israeli soldiers in clashes along the border fence on Monday, according to the Health Ministry in Gaza, making it the bloodiest day of demonstrations in the past six weeks of protests.

Overall, over 80 Palestinians have been killed by Israeli soldiers and more than 3,000 have been injured since the embassy move was announced by President Trump in early December.

Observers of the conflict had already predicted the tensions when Trump recognized Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and announced the move. At the time, the decision was branded “dangerous,” “catastrophic,” “irresponsible” and being “against international law” by countries usually considered U.S. allies, including France, Germany and Saudi Arabia.

Here’s a short recap of how we got to this point, which helps make clear why most other foreign governments are opposed to the embassy move.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/world/wp/2018/05/14/trumps-embassy-move-to-jerusalem-is-controversial-these-3-maps-explain-why/?utm_term=.32cfca59227e



You know it’s a policy here not to joke about tragedy. But when the guy who you currently call “president” is a walking tragedy and everything he touches turns to shit, exceptions have to be made, damn it! It’s good to know Trump has some company in high places because when the rapture does happen, he’s going to need to seek shelter fast!

The U.S. today officially opened its new embassy in Jerusalem amid massive protests by Palestinians.

The move comes five months after President Donald Trump made his blockbuster announcement in December that the U.S. embassy would shift from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.

The new diplomatic office, in what was an existing U.S. consular building, was opened in a ceremony led by U.S. Ambassador to Israel David Friedman and attended by Israeli and American officials.

The day has also been marked by violence, with dozens of Palestinians killed by Israeli military forces and more than 1,600 injured in protests at the Gaza border against the embassy move, according to the Gaza Ministry of Health.

https://abcnews.go.com/International/us-embassy-set-open-jerusalem-netanyahu-praises-trump/story?id=55137896




And those men are currently running the show! And when this gets written up 50 years after nuclear Armageddon happens, assuming there’s something left of humanity, historians are not going to be surprised how we get to this point. I mean with friends like these, who needs enemies?

President Trump delivered recorded remarks Monday at the opening of the new U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem.

"Congratulations, it's been a long time coming," Trump said in a video played at the ceremony.

"This city and this entire nation is a testament to the unbreakable spirit of the Jewish people," he said. "The United States will always be a great friend of Israel."

The president went on to express his hope for peace in the region in the video message.

"We extend a hand in friendship to Israel, to Palestinians and to all of their neighbors. May there be peace. May God bless this embassy. May God bless all who serve there, and may God bless the United States of America," Trump said.
http://thehill.com/policy/international/387554-trump-delivers-recorded-remarks-at-us-embassy-opening-in-jerusalem




So the answer to world peace is… more war? How does that… oh fuck, it’s the Trump administration we’re talking about here! Attempting to question their logic could make one’s head explode! But it’s good to know those who fantasize about the apocalypse might actually get a chance to see it played out in real life. They do know Left Behind is fiction, right?

More than 20 people in Gaza were dead on Monday before anyone in Washington had had their breakfast. This was pitched to the awakening nation as a series of “deadly clashes,” even though the deadly part only applied to one side. It was a great start to a day in which the president*, who doesn’t know anything about anything, prepared to toss a lighted match into a lagoon of gasoline in the Middle East.

The decision to move the American embassy in Israel to Jerusalem is more unnecessary than it is stupid and dangerous, and it’s pretty stupid and dangerous. There was no overwhelming political support—and certainly no overwhelming political pressure—in this country for such a provocative development. It was solely the desire of that odd mixture of highly conservative Judaism and American splinter Protestantism, of the prolonged slow-dance between the apocalyptic factions of two major monotheisms that very likely will incite the apocalyptic faction of the third. It is religious extremism disguised as international diplomacy.
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a20681623/trump-jerusalem-embassy/





From: Idiots #4-19

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[font size="8"]Dan Patrick
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One guy who clearly isn’t helping is the Lieutenant Governor of Texas, Dan Patrick. So Houston is his district, and he offered some of the most asinine suggestions on what we can do to end this madness once and for all. No, he didn’t propose firearm control. No, he didn’t propose that any kind of restrictions on firearm sales or anything that might you know, save lives. What he did propose was one of the most asinine suggestions yet.

In addition to the "thoughts and prayers" pro-gun politicians dependably trot out after a mass shooting, there's usually a wealth of ass-backward logic to explain why guns shouldn't receive any blame for the bloodshed.

In the wake of this morning's Santa Fe High School shooting, Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick wasted no time with the contortions.

Within hours, the Republican was at a press conference ruminating on how to stop future school shootings. Apparently, limiting access to guns isn't one of the options on the table, but redesigning thousands of Texas schools sure as hell is.

“We may have to look at the design of our schools moving forward, and retrofitting schools that are already built, and what I mean by that is there are too many entrances and too many exits to our over 8,000 campuses in Texas," he said.

"We’re going to have to be creative," he added.
https://www.sacurrent.com/the-daily/archives/2018/05/18/ban-doors-not-guns-to-stop-school-shootings-dan-patrick-says




Too many exits? Here’s the thing – Dan, you know what also devalues life? Guns. Thank you! And it’s bad enough that the NRA has made us sitting ducks, let’s arm teachers, close off all the exits, and appoint wannabe Rambos as hall monitors! What a great idea! Doing something creative might be, I don’t know, actually doing your job and protecting the people who elected you! Thank you! And that wasn’t all – Dan actually made things worse by blaming everything but the gun!

The Texas lieutenant governor, speaking two days after 10 people were killed in a school shooting in his state, said abortion, divorce and violent video games and movies show that 'we have devalued life,' which he pointed to as a cause of school shootings.

Republican Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick told ABC News Chief Anchor George Stephanopoulos on "This Week" Sunday, "We have devalued life, whether it's through abortion, whether it's the breakup of families, through violent movies, and particularly violent video games."

Patrick continued, "Psychologists and psychiatrists will tell you that students are desensitized to violence, may have lost empathy for their victims by watching hours and hours of video violent games.”

He said, “the problem is multifaceted. It's not any one issue. But we, again, we have to look at our culture of violence, just our violent society, our Facebook, our Twitter, the bullying of adults on adults, and children on children. We have to look at ourselves, George, it's not about the guns, it's about us.”
https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/guns-part-nation-texas-official-shooting-victims-dad/story?id=55300369




And we’re still not done yet! Guess what NRA approved talking point surfaced last week courtesy of Mr. Patrick? Yup you guessed it! Let’s arm teachers! And we wonder why the rest of the world is laughing at us!

Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick (R) responded Sunday to the high school shooting in Santa Fe, Texas by pushing for arming teachers and reducing school entrances.

In an interview with CNN, the well-known conservative made the case for arming teachers saying, “We need armed teachers, trained how to handle active shooters.” He continued, “We need to get down to one or two entrances into our schools.”

Patrick visited injured students Friday with Governor Abbott and Senator Cruz where students and parents told them that their teachers needed to be armed. Patrick used the example of a former Marine teacher who could only lock the door in defense of students. He said, “some feel had he been able to carry a gun, he may have been able to stop that shooter.”

In an ABC interview, the Lt. Governor referenced the Second Amendment saying, “Our teachers are part of that well-run militia.” He added, “It’s guns that also stop crimes.”

The former State Senator argued that the plague of school shooters isn’t just about guns, “it’s about us”.
https://thehayride.com/2018/05/texas-lt-governor-dan-patrick-arm-teachers/




So it’s bad enough that bullets are coming from one direction, let’s arm the teachers and have armed hall monitors patrolling the hallways of our schools. Remember when Bush famously asked the question “Is our children learning”? Uh no they are getting shot at. And our elected officials – especially in Texas – aren’t helping things. If you think what Dan Patrick is proposing is certifiably insane, wait until you see what his boss is suggesting! Think the TSA but worse!

One of the most obvious changes that Texas can bring about is to improve school safety, Abbott said, noting that many in Santa Fe had asked him for that. After laying flowers at the high school on Sunday, the governor spoke about metal detectors and screening students for mental health problems.

Abbott said schools should consider screening students' social media accounts for threats or troubling behavior.

"We need to do that," he said, adding that Dimitrios Pagourtzis, the suspect in the Santa Fe shooting, had pictures on his Facebook page of a T-shirt that read, "Born to kill."

Abbott said Friday that he'd been planning to roll out several proposals for new gun laws in Texas before the shooting, including "speeding up background checks" and keeping guns away from people "who pose immediate danger."
https://www.dallasnews.com/news/guns/2018/05/20/teachers-part-run-militia-lt-gov-dan-patrick-defends-gun-rights-after-santa-fe-shooting





From: Idiots #4-14

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[font size="8"]Michael Cohen
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When your attorney is a crook, how are you going to get out of this mess? I mean you know your situation is fucked when your attorneys have their own attorneys. Last week I called this phenomenon “attorney-ception”. It’s a trial within a trial within a trial. Well this week the concept of that was taken to insane new levels.

Michael Cohen, longtime personal attorney for President Donald Trump, on Monday showed up at U.S. District Court in lower Manhattan after skipping an initial Friday hearing.

Cohen is asking Judge Kimba Wood to bar prosecutors from getting the first look at client files seized from him by the FBI last week. A lawyer for the president, Joanna Hendon, on Sunday filed a motion asking the judge to grant the president the privilege of reviewing the documents first.

The hearings follow the April 9 raids, in which federal agents seized materials from Cohen's office, home, hotel room and electronic devices.

Both Cohen and Trump argue that they should be allowed to decide which of the documents should be permanently withheld because they are protected by attorney-client privilege.

U.S. attorneys pushed back against Cohen's request in a filing Friday, saying that "Cohen is in fact performing little to no legal work," and alleging that "zero" emails were exchanged between Cohen and Trump. Their assessment was based on already conducted searches of Cohen's email accounts which had not been reported before the court filing.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/04/16/trump-lawyer-michael-cohen-in-court-with-porn-star-stormy-daniels.html




Seriously! Now Trump’s lawyers are appearing with Trump’s porn stars! I mean is there anyone who they aren’t in bed with? Both literally and figuratively? Oh but here’s my favorite part – he’s complaining about privacy! Cue the world’s tiniest violin!

President Trump’s personal lawyer said he is worried about the confidentiality of roughly three clients since he branched off from the Trump Organization in 2017 — including the president and beleaguered RNC fundraiser Elliott Broidy.

Michael Cohen, who is under investigation by Manhattan federal prosecutors and the FBI, made the disclosures in a filing Monday morning as part of his bid to block the feds from reviewing documents that might be protected by attorney-client privilege.

On Friday, Broidy, a Trump fundraiser, stepped down from his Republican National Committee post after he admitted that Cohen arranged $1.6 million in hush money to a former Playboy model whom the donor had impregnated.

“It is unfortunate that this personal matter between two consenting adults is the subject of national discussion just because of Michael Cohen’s involvement,” Broidy said in a statement.

Cohen declined to name the third client, saying that person has requested his name not be made public.
https://nypost.com/2018/04/16/michael-cohen-says-hes-worried-about-client-privacy-after-fbi-raid/




Dude, seriously, Mr. Cohen, you work for the Donald Trump administration. Your privacy rights went bye bye when you signed up! But this week Cohen named 2 of his 3 ultra-prestigious clients – Donald J. Trump and GOP fundraiser Elliot Brody. Can anyone guess who the third is? Anyone? Well here’s who is behind door #3!

The legal battle over federal investigators' raids on President Donald Trump's personal lawyer Michael Cohen took an unexpected turn Monday as an attorney identified Fox News host Sean Hannity as one of Cohen's legal clients.

Cohen's attorneys had acknowledged publicly that he represented Trump and former Republican National Committee deputy finance chair Elliott Broidy in legal matters, but they had sought to avoid naming a third client. Under direct orders from a judge, Cohen's attorney Stephen Ryan named Hannity as the client in court on Monday.

The revelation came amid an extraordinary showdown between a sitting president and his own Justice Department over access to files seized in the raids on Cohen's home and office last week and over whether the materials are protected by attorney-client privilege. Hannity's connection to Cohen was revealed after the conservative commentator — one of Trump's staunchest defenders — fiercely criticized federal officials for the raids, without disclosing his own connection.

Even before the surprise disclosure about Hannity, the afternoon hearing before U.S. District Court Judge Kimba Wood was a spectacle. Cohen came under scrutiny after he acknowledged paying $130,000 to porn actress Stormy Daniels shortly before the 2016 election so she would keep quiet about an alleged sexual encounter with Trump. The Wall Street Journal reported last week that Cohen also negotiated a deal in 2017 to pay $1.6 million to a woman who said Broidy impregnated her.
https://www.politico.com/story/2018/04/16/michael-cohen-client-list-526288




Come on, even Larry David is playing you off, Sean! And yeah sure you can define “representation” all you want because that’s what the GOP does – they just make shit up as they go along! But hey I’m at least surprised that you found a real estate attorney who’s willing to give you advice for $10. That’s a bargain!

Sean Hannity used his radio program to deliver his first personal statement after being outed as the mysterious client Michael Cohen legally advised in 2017.

Cohen was trying to keep Hannity’s name off of public record during his court hearing today, but he was forced to identify his third client after the judge told him there wasn’t sufficient legal ground for the patron to retain his anonymity. When reporters reached out to Hannity before the start of his radio show, his initial response was “We have been friends a long time. I have sought legal advice from Michael.”

On Hannity’s radio show, he remarked how “very strange” it was to see the coverage from Fox News in light of the bombshell about their own anchor.
https://www.mediaite.com/online/sean-hannity-issues-statement-on-michael-cohen-he-has-never-represented-me-in-any-matter/





From: Idiots #4-15

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Since Trump is only taking up one entry this week we have to squeeze as much out of it as we can but before we get into the meat of this entry I have to bring up one story that caught our attention over the weekend. Remember a couple of weeks ago when Trump called Jeff Sessions “Mr. Magoo” at a closed door meeting? Well, just like Alex Jones, it turns out that he didn’t say that thing that everyone knows that he said.

President Donald Trump is denying he ever called Attorney General Jeff Sessions "Mr. Magoo," saying he knows nothing about the bumbling cartoon character.

In a weekend tweet, the president said the Washington Post story referring to the "Mr. Magoo" comment was nothing but "fake" news. Trump also denies calling Deputy Attorney General Jay Rosenstein "Mr. Peepers," a reference to a television characters from the 1950s.

The Washington Post reported in February on the "Mr. Magoo" nickname for Sessions, a one-time Trump ally turned frequent target of presidential criticism.
http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2018/04/trump_denies_calling_ag_jeff_s.html


?itemid=7676808

Fake news! You know what sir? Don’t give my regards to Mr. Magoo! Now let’s get into what I originally wanted to talk about - past presidents – let’s talk about them! Remember when we used to have a respectable leader that we could get behind? Yeah I miss those times. Even the republicans used to elect presidents who at one point or another, were respectable. But in 2016 all of those rules got thrown out the window. So you might be wondering where I’m going with this – take a look at our current president. He’s not even welcome at state funerals!

Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump will not attend Saturday's funeral service for former first lady Barbara Bush, the White House said in a statement Thursday, citing the desire to "avoid disruptions" and out of respect for her family and friends.

"First Lady Melania Trump will attend the memorial service for Barbara Bush this Saturday on behalf of the First Family. To avoid disruptions due to added security, and out of respect for the Bush Family and friends attending the service, President Trump will not attend," the White House said in a statement.

President Trump offered his condolences to the Bush family Wednesday as he began remarks at a joint news conference with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.
Barbara Bush, Trump said, was a "wonderful, wonderful person" and "a titan in American life."

"Her strength and toughness really embodied the spirit of our country," Trump said at Mar-a-Lago. "She was a woman of proud patriotism and profound faith."
https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/19/politics/barbara-bush-funeral-donald-trump/index.html




Yes – stay classy, Trump! So we went from a president who actually attends state funerals to one who live tweets them! Talk about a huge drop off in quality. So what did Trump do when Melania was at Barbara Bush’s funeral? Only his favorite hobby. Which he’s not very good at.

Sometimes a picture is worth a zillion words. The viral group photograph from former first lady Barbara Bush’s funeral speaks volumes about the state of our democracy, poignantly illustrating what we have lost and must at all costs regain.

George H.W. Bush is front and center in his wheelchair. Behind him, left to right, we see Laura and George W. Bush, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Barack and Michelle Obama, and Melania Trump. It is an extraordinary portrait of power, continuity, legacy, civility and mutual respect — a remarkable tableau that is made possible only by President Trump’s absence. Imagine him in the picture, puffed-up and no doubt scowling, trying desperately to make himself the center of attention. It’s a good thing he decided to spend the weekend playing golf and writing angry tweets at Mar-a-Lago instead.

I can’t look at that photo without pondering how destructive Trump has been — and how much work and goodwill it will take to put the pieces together again after he’s gone.

The elder Bush pursued conservative policies. Clinton was center-left. The younger Bush took the country back to the right. Obama pulled it to the left. These shifts seemed big and important at the time, but they pale in comparison with the disruption Trump has wrought.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/trump-golfed-instead-of-going-to-barbara-bushs-funeral-that-was-a-good-thing/2018/04/23/a5930974-4731-11e8-8b5a-3b1697adcc2a_story.html?utm_term=.3b04139581ae




But then Trump followed that up with his second favorite hobby – which he is good at – live tweeting! I mean come on, you got to admit he is good at that. Only Donald J. Trump can topple whole governments with a single tweet, like a really fucked up Superman!

Personalities on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” on Monday criticized President Trump for tweeting on Saturday during the funeral for former first lady Barbara Bush.

Co-host Mika Brzezinski called Trump’s tweets “especially insulting to the United States of America” on a day “the world said goodbye to Barbara Bush.”

Panelist Mike Barnicle referenced a photo that went viral after the funeral showing current first lady Melania Trump; former Presidents George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama; and former first ladies Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush and Michelle Obama.

“It’s a reminder of who we used to be as a government and as people who participated in politics,” Barnicle said.
http://thehill.com/homenews/media/384403-morning-joe-host-trump-tweeting-during-barbara-bush-funeral-was-insulting-to




Oh come on Joe! You’re just now realizing how bad Trump’s tweets are? There are lists out there compiling everything he’s insulted since he joined in 2009. And Trump insults your show while insulting whatever they talked about on Fox News! His insults are like fine wines – you have to let them ferment to get the most enjoyment out of them. But yeah even at Trump’s funeral, he was still outclassed by the last guy!

A lot has been said in regard to the chemistry between US President Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump. On numerous occasions, the FLOTUS was said to have looked ‘not happy’ with her husband and it became a talk of the Twitterverse. From swatting away his hands in public and awkward handshakes, to him leaving her during the inaugural dance alone to wave at the crowd — Twitterati haven’t missed a thing. So, naturally, when on Saturday, they spotted the FLOTUS sitting alongside Barack Obama and smiling — it got everyone talking.

The Obamas, Clintons along with the Bush family and Melania Trump attended the funeral of Barbara Bush in Houston, Texas. Although a solemn service, during the event, she was seen engaging in a conversation with Barack Obama and Tweeple ruled, “it’s the happiest they have ever seen her”.

Former US first lady Barbara Bush, the wife of former President George HW Bush, passed away at age 92 on Tuesday (April 17). Although FLOTUS attended the ceremony, POTUS Trump gave it a miss, to ‘avoid disruptions’.
http://indianexpress.com/article/trending/trending-globally/photo-of-melania-trump-similing-with-barack-obama-at-barbara-bushs-funeral-takes-twitter-by-storm-5148446/





From: Idiots #4-16
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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Cults Of Personality
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates:



Cults. They are generally a faux pas not talked about in normal society except when they surface in the news. The last time a cult made the news? 2001 – Heaven’s Gate, and before that 1992 – the Branch Davidians led by David Koresh. None of these however hold a candle to the NXIVM cult that was recently thrust into the spotlight by Smallville actress Allison Mack.
In late March, a man named Keith Raniere was arrested and charged with sex trafficking for his role NXIVM, a sex cult he founded in 1998. Since then, there’s been a flurry of reports about other alleged members, with the most recent being Allison Mack, who was arrested last week for allegedly recruiting women to be sex slaves.

Below, here’s everything you need to know about the most recent developments.

First things first: How do you say “NXIVM”?
It’s pronounced “Nexium.”

And what exactly is it?
It’s an Albany-based cult with connections all over the world, that reportedly masquerades as a “self-help” organization, meant to empower women. It was thrust into the spotlight in October 2017, when a New York Times investigation exposed that the women who were involved were referred to as “slaves,” and subject to ritual humiliations and brandings. They were also allegedly told to starve themselves to achieve Raniere’s standard of beauty and to have sex encounters with him.
https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/smallville-allison-mack-sex-cult-nxivm-everything-to-know.html




Yes that is certainly true. And the allegations are definitely far more serious and damning than you would think possible. The NXIVM cult makes the previous cults we mentioned look almost cartoonish by comparison. It’s far worse than you would think. So how does a cult like this get sold?

A former Smallville actress has been arrested and charged with sex trafficking for her role in a secret society that news reports are calling a “sex cult.”

Allison Mack, who is perhaps best-known for her role as Chloe Sullivan on the WB (later CW) show Smallville, has been charged in a New York federal court with sex trafficking, sex trafficking conspiracy, and forced labor conspiracy. She’s accused of having recruited women — some of whom were underage — to the multilevel-marketing organization Nxivm (pronounced NEX-ium). She faces life in prison.

Ostensibly a self-help group advertising “executive success programs,” Nxivm has been condemned by former members as a cult, in which female members are ritualistically branded and pressured to engage in sexual “master-slave” relationships with higher-ups in the program, and in particular with the group’s founder and leader, Keith Raniere. Raniere, who is known to his followers as “Vanguard,” was arrested last month on charges of sex trafficking.

Raniere maintains his innocence, and the Nxivm website has posted a statement denying all allegations, saying, “We are currently working with the authorities to demonstrate his innocence and true character. We strongly believe the justice system will prevail in bringing the truth to light. We are saddened by the reports perpetuated by the media and their apparent disregard for ‘innocent until proven guilty,’ yet we will continue to honor the same principles on which our company was founded.”
https://www.vox.com/2018/4/25/17275930/allison-mack-smallville-actress-sex-cult-nxivm-dos-prison-arrest-sex-trafficking-keith-raniere




So the cult got sold as a “female empowerment program” and a “self help” program. And just like most cults, they broke down the people who signed up for it and got tricked by their charismatic leader. Which is pretty common among all cults.

Pause your Wild Wild Country bingeing and look at the news, where so-called cult Nxivm has been making headlines for a week. Smallville actress Allison Mack was released on a $5 million bond on Tuesday after being indicted on sex-trafficking charges on Friday.

Since her arrest, stories have broken that Mack may have tried to recruit women including Emma Watson, Kelly Clarkson, and several feminist writers into a group that she referred to on Twitter as a “human development and women’s movement.” The group, however, was allegedly Nxivm, the upstate New York alleged sex cult run by a man named Keith Raniere, also known as “The Vanguard.”

Mack is denying the charges, and per Today, has issued a statement via a representative saying she has no comment at this time. Raniere was arrested in Mexico last month and has been charged with multiple accounts of sex trafficking and forced labor.
https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2018/04/a-running-list-of-the-women-allison-mack-attempted-to-recruit-to-nxivm




This cult however, will most likely need defensive attorneys because they most likely can’t afford the other kind. These are very serious crimes and Ms. Mack and Mr. Raniere are probably going to be going away for a very long time. We could go into this subject all day – but NXIVM had branches all over the country.

A branch of notorious “sex cult” Nxivm — which has been known to brand female “slaves” with its founder’s initials — is covertly recruiting within the arty Brooklyn crowd.

While the Albany-based sect had seemed to be imploding after its founder, Keith Raniere, was arrested in Mexico last month on sex-trafficking charges, it now appears to be searching for new blood. Last month, a number of notable Williamsburg artists and writers, who asked not to be named, were invited by friends to what was billed as a party promising “authentic conversation” among creatives and “light vegetarian fare.”

A flyer for the event at a private home in Williamsburg billed it as “an evening of meeting cool, like-minded artists and chatting about life, authenticity, and the awesome human potential,” also vaguely referring to an unexplained “human expression program.”
https://pagesix.com/2018/04/09/alleged-sex-cult-recruits-hipsters-in-brooklyn/




So they would recruit nearly the same way with the promise of a free “get acquainted” weekend. They even had their own school:

In 2015, Spanish-language pop icon Alejandro Sanz spoke to Mexican television stations and newspapers to promote his wife's new venture: a midtown Miami school called the Rainbow Cultural Garden that purported to train toddlers to speak as many as seven languages at once.

In response, sisters Loreta and Jimena Garza posted fawning praise of Sanz's interview on their Facebook pages. "Here we go RCG!!!!!!" Loreta Garza wrote July 7, 2015. "Thank You Keith Raniere for such an amazing opportunity."

Since then, Raniere has been outed as the leader of the alleged NXIVM sex cult, accused of using flaming-hot irons to brand women, and arrested by the FBI in Mexico on sex-trafficking charges. According to the Mexico City newspaper La Silla Rota, federal agents found Raniere hiding on a compound trying to live "off the grid" — alongside Loreta, Jimena, and another sister, Carola Garza.
http://cbs6albany.com/news/local/neighbor-speaks-to-cbs6-about-nxivm-party-house




So that is an insight into how one of the world’s most notoriouis sex cults was able to operate. This has been Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




From: Idiots #4-17

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Clip without context!



To give you credit, Jim, I think you underestimated there a bit. Spin it again! Holy shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters, it is time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are always the most full of:



You know my fair brothers and sisters, we usually cover a wide variety of topics in our weekly sermon from a wide variety of followers of the LAWRD! But this week we are going to focus on one, and one in particular. I’m talking about a guy who is so batshit crazy that he has his own special section on Right Wing Watch. He has a wide variety of end times products for us to sell! Yes everything from barely edible emergency survival food to a whole fucking village. Literally! I’m of course talking about Brother Jim Bakker. Brother Jim is in a world of hurt right now because he’s selling shit and nobody is buying it!

Controversial televangelist Jim Bakker has claimed that the Missouri town in which he is building a Christian community is equipped to survive the end of the world, and is selling survival gear, such as packs of bottles that cost $150.

Baker said on his program "The Jim Bakker Show" earlier this week that various prophets have predicted that if there is a major world disaster and humankind faces the end of the world, people in large cities are not going to be able to survive.

That is why for 15 years Bakker has been building his Morningside community in Blue Eye, Missouri, which will come with an amphitheater, houses for the residents, and a chapel that can be used for weddings.

He also is advertising survival gear, such as a pack of six "extreme survival" water bottles being sold for $150. His website claims that the bottles are "designed using a combination of both Advanced and Radiological filters."

"You all are going to know soon why God brought us here," Bakker said on Tuesday's show.

"Do you know the people from the government, from NASA, the research from so many of them, they have said in their research that the safest place to live in troubled times is right here. That's why God brought us here," he added.
https://www.christianpost.com/news/televangelist-jim-bakker-says-christians-can-survive-end-of-world-by-buying-his-condos-and-150-water-bottles-223671/




So Brother Jim is constructing his own village, because as you know – you all know, that in our good book, it says that “it takes a village to save mankind from impending doom”. That is a prophecy from the good LAWRD, creator of all things holy. Can I get an amen? And in terms of his village, apparently science is the reason why you should live in his village!

End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker has spent the last several episodes of his television program urging viewers not only to stock up on his buckets of survival food, but to move to his Morningside community outside of Branson, Missouri, in preparation for the Last Days, claiming on yesterday’s program that government scientists have declared that this location will be the best place to ride out the coming Tribulation.

“There is nowhere on earth you could live with more of God’s generals here,” Bakker proclaimed, bizarrely bragging that “Branson has the number-one Christian theater in the world.”

“You all are going to know soon why God brought us here,” he said. “Do you know the people from the government, from NASA, the research from so many of them, they have said in their research that the safest place to live in troubled times is right here. That’s why God brought us here.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jim-bakker-government-scientists-say-morningside-is-the-best-place-to-ride-out-the-end-times/






Yes indeed it is science! That’s not the only shit that Brother Jim is selling. But instead - Jim is also hawking emergency survival kits.

Jim Bakker of PTL fame is back. Or, rather, he's been back, you were probably just unaware of it. This time, instead of timeshares on the campus of PTL, a thrilling vacation at his "Christian" theme park, and promises of reaping material rewards for donating to his "ministry," the disgraced televangelist is hawking survival gear on Christian TV.

A long expose in The Charlotte Observer details Bakker's current activities. In a nutshell, as the article succinctly states, "Jim Bakker is back on TV with a different, darker message: The Apocalypse is coming and you better get ready."

For Bakker, getting ready means sending him large amounts of money, called a "donation," and as a "thank you," he'll send you survival gear that he endorses.

Of course, you'll be forgiven if the specifics sound new and yet the overall theme of Jim Bakker's message sounds vaguely familiar to you. You can read the details of Bakker's rise and fall during the '80s by reading The Charlotte Observer article, but as the article points out, the financial information for his new "ministry" is shrouded in mystery. In other words, like in the '80s, people are apparently sending Bakker money without any real accountability for where the money goes and how it's used.
https://pjmedia.com/faith/disgraced-televangelist-jim-bakker-cashes-apocalypse-fears/




But here is how Brother Jim is selling this – and I think even the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want this because he is the creator of all that is good and holy! But not buying his shit will apparently cause cannibalism!

End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker used his television program again today to promote his line of survival products, urging viewers to stock up now because people will be forced to resort to cannibalism when the Last Days arrive.

Complaining that he has “been so lambasted in the last few years” for endlessly promoting his End Times survival products, Bakker lashed out, warning that “the Bible says a fool sees trouble coming and doesn’t prepare.”

“In perilous times, they do crazy things,” Bakker said, adding that he has “cried so much” over the destruction wrought on Houston by Hurricane Harvey.

“I saw wonderful people with everything gone,” Bakker wept. “Everything gone! You don’t understand everything gone! You don’t understand living in darkness unless you’ve lived in darkness. And they will kill each other, eat each other, steal everything from each other and that’s what the Bible warns about. I want you to be prepared.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jim-bakkers-food-buckets-will-prevent-you-from-resorting-to-cannibalism/




See here’s where you don’t give a crackpot a microphone and a license to sell crap that nobody wants – he will use it for evil instead of good. Because Brother Jim sells emergency kits and then, THEN claims that he can see into the future and that it will be a bleak one! Gee, I wonder why? Maybe Jim can tell me the plot of Avengers 4 at least?

Jim Bakker is making headlines again three years after his “Praise the Lord” (PTL) empire near Charlotte collapsed amid financial corruption and sexual scandal. Now, instead of rebuilding his 2,300 acre Christian theme park and resort, Heritage USA, Bakker is selling supplies for the coming apocalypse. “We are in the final days,” Bakker says.

While Bakker claims that he has abandoned his previous lifestyle in favor of coming to a truer understanding of Christ, plenty of people remember that his theme park and TV show funded an opulent lifestyle filled with vacation homes, expensive cars and an air-conditioned doghouse. There are questions about whether Bakker truly repented after serving five years in prison for fraud or if he is merely capitalizing on 21st century fears such as terrorism and climate change. His new TV show, “The Jim Bakker Show,” certainly works hard to sell fuel-less generators, doomsday guidebooks and freeze-dried food with a shelf life of up to 30 years. Bakker, however, insists that the twin disasters of Hurricane Harvey and Maria and concerns of nuclear war with North Korea are signs that the end times are on the horizon, and that Christians ignore the warnings at their own risk. “One day,” Bakker says, “you’re going to shake your fist in God’s face and you’re going to say, ‘God, why didn’t you warn me?’ He’s going to say, ‘You sat there and you made fun of Jim Bakker all those years. I warned you. But you didn’t listen.’ ”

Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/news/2018/02/jim-bakker-says-apocalypse-coming-proof.php#tXjqvltAWWbA37J0.99




Now because all good food comes in bucket form – we here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 have actually acquired some food of theirs to taste. And we recommend that you do not try this at home! Can we show the flyer first?



Now we here have a wide variety of stuff that comes in that magical bucket! I mean look at that – you have pizza, you have fried chicken, mac & cheese, coleslaw – it’s essentially KFC for those that believe in the doomsday apocalypse! Let’s try some. Mmmmmmmmmmm…. Yeah!

Like other Religious Right leaders, Bakker is a zealous supporter of President Trump. Bakker said a few weeks ago that criticism of Trump was a sign that “America is in a war against God.” Last year Bakker warned that God’s judgment would fall on anyone who interfered with divine plans to use Trump to save America. Bakker has also warned that people will have to answer to God for making fun of him.

In his new pitch, Bakker warns his followers that the “popular and delicious Tasty Food Bucket is going to be discontinued at the end of April due to cost of the ingredients. Many of these recipes will never be offered in a configuration like this again! Some recipes may even be retired.”

The colorful flyer included with the letter spells out four offers, from the single food bucket available for a gift of $175 to Bakker’s ministry (374 servings) all the way up to the special Time of Trouble Officer of 28 Tasty Pantry Deluxe Plus Buckets (10,472 servings) that can be yours for a $3,700 contribution.

Says Bakker, “We believe in preparing because God has warned us to prepare.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jim-bakker-heed-gods-warning-and-buy-my-prepper-buckets-for-the-end-of-days-time-of-trouble/




You know what? Excuse me a minute! So there we have it, we have dedicated this week to exposing the end times crap that Brother Jim hath been hawking! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




From: Idiots #5-2

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Conservatives Vs Social Media
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It’s time for another edition of:



There’s nothing a conservative loves more than some good ol’ fashioned trash talking. In fact they have made it a part of their lifestyle and that’s how they win elections. They talk so much shit about people they could easily fill two landfills, a raw sewage treatment facility, and a fleet of manure trucks. Which is why they can’t stand it when people start fighting back against their bullshit. In the social media cold war that’s been going on since about 2009, conservatives have been completely paranoid about the way their bullshit is getting treated on social media sites. And guess what? It ain’t good, fellas! You can talk all the crap you want in private, but when you take that shit public, you’d better be prepared for getting as much as you can dish out. Just ask Mark Zuckerberg.

Facebook is sending some of its top executives to meet with Republican leaders following complaints about anti-conservative bias on social media, the company confirmed to The Hill on Friday.

The officials from Facebook’s public policy team will be meeting with House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), RNC Chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel and Brad Parscale, President Trump’s 2020 campaign manager.

A McCarthy spokeswoman said that the meeting would focus on “continued issues with conservative censorship on their website.”

The meeting was first reported by Axios.

Facebook will be represented by a group of former GOP officials: Kevin Martin, who served as Federal Communications Commission chairman during the George W. Bush administration; Joel Kaplan, Bush’s former deputy chief of staff; Greg Maurer, who was an aide to former Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio); and former Republican digital strategist Katie Harbath.

Facebook and other social media companies have faced criticism from conservatives over accusations that the industry is biased against conservative speech. The meeting comes after Parscale and McDaniel sent a letter to Facebook and Twitter in May. And McCarthy has become an increasingly vocal critic of tech companies, even though he’s received thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from Silicon Valley.
http://thehill.com/policy/technology/392443-facebook-execs-to-meet-with-gop-leaders-over-concerns-about-anti




Nah. See here’s the thing conservatives – you’re not getting censored because you’re a conservative posting on a social media site. You’re getting censored because you’re hateful dicks! But the accusations don’t stop there! Because once again they love some trash talking!

Donald Trump's 2020 campaign and the Republican National Committee are asking Facebook and Twitter for assurances that they will safeguard access to "fair content" and guarantee that conservative voices are not censored or buried.

Trump's 2020 Campaign Manager Brad Parscale and RNC chair Ronna McDaniel made the requests to Facebook and Twitter in a letter sent Thursday, which they later posted online.

Parscale and McDaniel wrote that they have grown concerned after media reports over the past few years and claims from users that Facebook staff had "manipulated" the trending section to exclude conservative news and that some conservative personalities have had their content suppressed. On Twitter, they said that conservative users have "accused the company of unfairly targeting them," by purging their accounts of followers in an attempt to fight fake news.

"We recognize that Facebook and Twitter operate in liberal corporate cultures. However, rampant political bias is inappropriate for a widely used public forum," McDaniel and Parscale wrote.

Accusations that social media censors conservative views has hounded the companies for years. Both Facebook and Twitter are based in the largely liberal enclaves around San Francisco, California, and their executives are often aligned with liberal causes.
http://money.cnn.com/2018/05/24/media/parscale-twitter-facebook-letter/index.html




Exactly. See here’s the thing – it’s not them! It’s you! You know when you sign up on these services, they have this thing called a “terms of service” agreement that you probably didn’t read. If you did read it, most of them have a rule that says “don’t be hateful”. See every time you post on David Hogg’s feed about how he’s helping the NRA sell more guns, or telling mass shooting victims to go eat Tide Pods, or how Hillary Clinton sold out the children of Haiti and then gave money to her foundation, post every bullshit conspiracy theory like Seth Rich and Pizzagate, retweet nonsense from QANON about “the Storm”, or post poorly photoshopped pictures of Hillary pooping her pants, or every time you call us idiots, or libtards, or say liberalism is a mental disorder, and you wonder why your account gets banned, you might want to examine your own life. You can make all these claims about how you’re being censored, about how there’s a bias, but really, you’re just hateful dicks! You know, kind of like when your ex breaks up with you and says “it’s not you, it’s me”, she really means it’s you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Such is the case here.

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) is calling out social media and technology giants over what he sees as anti-conservative bias.

On Tuesday night, McCarthy, a leading candidate to replace retiring Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), tweeted a video from a speech in which he lashes out at Amazon, Facebook and Twitter, accusing them of trying to censor conservatives.

“Social media is being rigged to censor conservative voices. We will not be silenced,” the No. 2 House Republican wrote in the tweet.

McCarthy, whose district is in Southern California, frequently turns to Silicon Valley for campaign contributions. Corporate PACs for Facebook, Google and Amazon have all given him $5,000 each since 2017.

In his video, McCarthy references an incident where Amazon removed a conservative organization that had been designated a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center from a program that allows users to donate a portion of their purchases to a charity organization of their choice. He also noted an episode last year where Twitter briefly blocked an anti-abortion campaign ad from Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.).
http://thehill.com/policy/technology/389876-house-gop-leader-lashes-out-at-tech-companies-over-anti-conservative-bias




Hey McCarthy – did you miss the key word there? Hate? Yeah that’s where you might want to take a look at your own party and some of the things they post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. See, hate has a conservative bias to it! Always has and always will. You know you always tell us to let go of shit, but why don’t you? You know while you’re busy figuring out new ways to troll us, we’re busy doing that thing called winning elections! People have had enough of your hateful ways. Even Donald Trump Jr has chimed in on the paranoia, but really stop beating around the bush – you’re hateful dicks. Either own the hate, or stop the abuse. Your choice.

Donald Trump Jr., President Trump's oldest son who helps the Trump Organization, posted on Instagram Friday he had a "crazy drop-off in new followers," which he said was due to search results of his name.

He posted a video of the top searches associated with #donaldtrumpjr, which included #donaldtrumpjrisatoll, #donaldtrumpjrcolludedwithrussia and #donaldtrumpjrisaliar. A more positive result, #donaldtrumpjr2024, also showed up.

The video also showed a warning that he claimed a friend received when searching his name. The message said "Can we help? Posts associated with words or tags that you're searching for often encourage behavior that can cause harm or even lead to death. If you're going through something difficult, we'd like to help." The warning did not show up for CBS News when searching.

The third slide in the video showed some of the memes, some which appeared mean-spirited, that appeared to show up under a search for his name.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-jr-claims-conservative-shadow-ban-on-instagram/





From: Idiots #4-16


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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s hit it!



Of course you know that by now people are people and people are dumb. So who is dumb this week? Why there are a lot of people out there, sir! First off, you know that old adage about yelling “fire” in a crowded theater. And you especially don’t do that in a sold out movie theater showing Avengers: Infinity War, one of the biggest blockbusters of all time. Well, there was a preacher out of Redlands, California, who did just that.

REDLANDS (CBSLA) — An outing to catch one of the season’s most anticipated films turned into a panic-filled afternoon for some moviegoers Friday.

Armed officers rushed to the Harkins Mountain Grove 16 theaters in Redlands, where people had just finished watching the latest installment of the “Avengers” franchise, fearing there might a gunman inside. Witnesses said when the movie was over, a man stood up and started yelling in what sounded like a preacher’s sermon.

“I think when he said, ‘If you were to die tonight, would your passage to heaven be guaranteed?’ — something along those lines — I think that’s when people started panicking,” Susie Arias told CBS2 News.

Arias said she and her partner were able to walk out, but they said people behind them started running and pushing in an effort to exit quickly.
http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2018/04/27/redlands-preacher-michael-webber-avengers-panic/


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It was kind of like that. Well to give the guy credit, at least he got his message out! Next up this is a perfect example of life imitating art. Remember that Breaking Bad episode where a Los Pollos Hermanos truck got hijacked ? Well this isn’t anything that crazy, but we’re not surprised.

On Thursday, Centralia police said 126 pounds of methamphetamine were found in a truck hauling Starbucks products between California and Spokane.

The truck was stopped and police say suspicious activity led to the request of help from a narcotics K-9.

The truck’s interior was searched, and police said they found 40 bundles of meth in a television box on the top bunk of the sleeper berth.

Under a mattress, police said they found another 50 bundles of meth, 2.4 pounds of suspected heroin, several thousand Oxycodone pills and a few grams of cocaine.
https://www.kiro7.com/news/local/126-pounds-of-meth-found-in-truck-hauling-starbucks-products-in-washington-police-say/739922133




Next up – Legos! And if you’re being investigated by police for selling stolen goods, maybe you don’t sell stolen goods to undercover police. Get how that works? Well, this guy in Portland certainly didn’t.

Police said that investigators posed as thieves offering Azar stolen goods at far below the retail price. Authorities said Azar requested to purchase $13,000 of stolen goods from the undercover investigators.

He was arrested on April 26 after authorities say he purchased supposedly 'stolen' items from undercover officers.

When they searched his southeast Portland home, police said they found “a large quantity of stolen Legos [sic]”. The Lego and other toys that had been taken from Fred Meyer stores alone was worth $50,000, according to police.

That estimate did not include recovered merchandise that originated from other retail outlets, police said.

Authorities believe Azar would solicit stolen items through websites like Craigslist and OfferUp, purchasing them from thieves for low prices, before selling them on Craigslist, eBay and OfferUp for a profit. Those stealing the items to sell to Azar were often drug addicts, police added.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/portland-man-accused-of-dollar50000-stolen-lego-racket/ar-AAwx96E?li=BBnbcA1




Ha ha, Lego Batman was a great movie. Next up in People Are Dumb – Youtube! Yes, Youtube has brought out a ton of crazy people. And what happens when a guy comes in and pretends to be the CEO of a legendary burger chain? Well this is beyond stupid.

(Newser) – In-N-Out Burger isn't laughing about a YouTube prankster who claimed to be the company's CEO making a surprise visit. The burger chain has gone to court to seek a restraining order against prankster Cody Roeder, whose videos appeared on his popular "Trollmunchies" YouTube channel, the OC Register reports. In two now-deleted videos filmed earlier this month, Roeder visits Southern California In-N-Out burger locations dressed in business attire, claiming to be the acting CEO and demanding free food for a "taste test." He claims to be the ex-husband of Lynsi Snyder-Ellingson, the granddaughter of chain founder Harry Snyder.

According to court papers, at one location, Roeder berated employees for "contamination" of the food and grabbed a burger from a customer believed to have been his assistant. Roeder "proceeded to throw the burger on the ground in the middle of the restaurant and step on it, telling the customer it was 'garbage,'" the legal filing states. In a statement, the chain said it has seen "an increase of visitors to our stores, who are not customers but instead are intentionally disruptive and who then try to promote themselves through social media." The legal action seeks a restraining order banning Roeder and his accomplices from the chain's restaurants, as well as damages of more than $25,000.
http://www.newser.com/story/257087/in-n-out-burger-seeks-to-ban-youtube-prankster.html


.

Man why did you have to waste the cheeseburger? Dude should be arrested. I mean what did the cheeseburger ever do to you? Next up – you know it’s been a while since we heard from our good friend Florida Man but not a week goes by where he’s not up to his usual tricks! In a scene straight out of the movie Super Troopers, there’s this!

A Florida man was arrested after he tried to dump narcotics out of his car window in Martin County, authorities said.

Tyko Dean, 41, of Oakland Park was pulled over on I-95, according to the Martin County Sheriff’s Office. Deputies said Dean pulled his car over initially, but fled when he was asked to leave the vehicle.

With the help of air and K-9 units, Dean’s car was forced to stop. Deputies said Dean tried to toss illegal narcotics out of his car window.

However, detectives said they recovered 359 grams of cocaine and 31 grams of heroin from Dean’s car.
https://www.statesman.com/news/florida-man-arrested-after-tossing-drugs-out-car-window-police-say/LpxBs47tkbgKyH0Py6oqvM/




Finally for People Are Dumb this week – campaign ads! Yes, even our elected officials or people running to be elected officials aren’t immune from stupidity. You know in this day and age when people are actually fighting against the gun lobby and the NRA, maybe you don’t lead with an ad that praises a “healthy admiration for the 2nd amendment”. Let’s show the ad first.



Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Something tells me I wouldn’t want to date this guys’ daughters – he seems like the “Dads Against Daughters Dating” type. Remember those assholes?

Political candidates have long appeared with guns in campaign ads — holding guns, firing guns, and even assembling guns blindfolded. Earlier this month, Georgia gubernatorial candidate Hunter Hill aired an ad showing him loading an assault rifle. The video title? “Liberals won’t like this.”

Now, a new ad in the race for Georgia governor — in which a candidate points a gun at a teenager — did not sit well with some Georgians. After all, it aired just one state away from the Florida high school where 17 people were killed in a mass shooting

In the campaign ad, Brian Kemp, Georgia’s secretary of state, sits in a room surrounded by firearms — handguns on a table to his right, rifles on the table in front of him, and what appear to be two AR-15-style guns leaning on the wall behind him. Across his lap he holds a double-barrel shotgun, cleaning it off as he speaks into the camera. Next to him sits a young man in khakis and a tucked-in flannel shirt.

“I’m Brian Kemp, this is Jake, a young man interested in one of my daughters,” he says, motioning to the teenager next to him. “Yes, sir,” Jake responds, looking nervous as he fidgets with his fingers.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/05/02/georgia-governor-candidate-aims-gun-at-teenager-in-campaign-ad-get-over-it-he-tells-critics/?utm_term=.8ccf38490ec9




That’s it this week for:




From: Idiots #4-9

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Selection Sunday
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16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!



Ladies and gentlemen it’s time to commence the 2nd annual Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State Contest! And we have a lot of newcomers and old favorites this time around. And we’re going to change up the format a bit to please our overlords in the National For Fuck’s Sake Association. As you all know the winner will get the coveted DeLay trophy – named after former Texas coach Tom DeLay who took the team to an unprecedented 6 titles during the George Bush years:



[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! As the commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor and privilege to be the host of this year’s Stupidest State tournament! Let the games commence! All four conferences are here and ready to tangle. We have all four corners of conservatism represented – god, guns, greed, and overall batshit insanity! So this time around we’re going to do things a bit differently. Since our season ends on May 23rd, we need to speed things up a bit from last time. The league, as usual is split into two factions – the Layover League and the Flyover League. And each league will crown its’ champion before they face off in the final round. The rules before state that each conference will get four teams, which will be ranked #1 - #4. And just like how March Madness kicks off every year with a “Selection Sunday”, this year we shall kick things off with the same! The tournament will start on Wednesday, March 21st – which is around the same time March Madness starts. The rules this time around – the first round will feature two matches, while the second round will consist of one match each. Both rounds of the Final Four will take place in the same week, and then the championship. Since we do encourage gambling here, we will be providing you with betting odds this time around! And here we go!



[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]



Since 1890, the Batshit Conference is the largest conference in the NFFSA and it consists of 16 teams producing the finest guano that the country has to offer. They are the craziest of the crazy. The cream of the crop. The states that elect the worst politicians imaginable, who cook up the craziest laws known to man. The Batshit Conference caters to excellence in crazy lawmaking, and residents as equally crazy as the people who they elect. Places ruled by rural communities where there’s nothing to do but hardcore drugs, and with hardcore drugs comes hardcore craziness!

1. Iowa – the state that defined “Flyover country”. Iowa just barely missed the tournament last year due to some injuries. But this year they recruited lots of hot young talent and they are poised to go very far. Some say they could win the whole thing. Their policies have been called some of the country’s worst. The elected an actual racist and America’s worst Congressman – Steve King. They are also the home of Charles Grassley. They continually favor big business over the worker. They continue to fight for big farms over the smaller ones. They continually suppress education. Will they win? We shall see!
Betting Prediction: Iowa didn’t win that number one seed for nothing – they had the best record in the whole league during the regular season - they will be shocking and surprising you with how good their team is! 2:1.

2. Kentucky – The Bluegrass State is one of the hottest teams in the league. The state that was the first that voted for @realDonladTrump, also gave us Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Matt Bevin, and NFFSA Rookie Of The Year Kim Davis has shown absolutely no signs of slowing down when it comes to flinging some fresh batshit. They got a massive upgrade this year and they take the number 2 seed in the Batshit Conference. When you combine out of control college freshmen, some of the most insane politicians, and hardcore religious insanity, you get one of the best programs in the Batshit tournament, and they had the second best record during the regular season.
Betting Prediction: Kentucky can go head to head against any team they face, and they were ridiculously strong last year. They handily beat Pennsylvania for a seat in the tournament. They are looking to go far. 5:1.

3. Virginia – Another newcomer to the tournament. The Commonwealth State - adjacent to our nation’s capital has been a hot bed of white supremacy, redneck policies, and gun nut culture – creating a toxic mix that is sure to please longtime fans and newcomers to the Batshit Conference. Another first timer who if they can keep healthy, will promise to go very far in this tournament.
Betting Prediction: They have the drive and ambition to go very far but injuries plagued them during the regular season. 20:1.

4. Texas – Last year’s champion promises to repeat this year. They are tanned, rested, ready, and looking to do some damage as they climb their way to the top while producing some fresh guano not seen since the early days of the tournament. While a shell of their former selves as they produced that string of greatness during the Bush years, Texas squeezed out a win last year and they’re looking to repeat. Their coach has stated that they will be healthy, which can either be a good thing or a bad thing.
Betting Prediction: Texas isn’t the odds on favorite it was last year. If they do win the conference and advance to the Final Four, it’s going to be a very long uphill battle for them. 10:1.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]



Excessive greed here is the name of the game in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. This is the second largest conference in the NFFSA consisting of 13 states. While the rule of the game here is “never underestimate the other guy’s greed”, these guys are doing just that! Six houses? Why not? The other guy has 8! 40 cars? The other guy has 50! You have a 500 foot yacht? The other guy has a 600 foot yacht! You have a Rembrandt? The other guy has a Picasso! And you never mix the two, that’s just bad feng shui. Since 1952, nearly all of the teams here are sponsored by Koch Industries. And coincidentally nearly all of them subscribe to Fox Business Channel where they always take the CEO’s side. While you’re watching your bank account grow by peanuts, these guys have taken the whole damn peanut farm! They’re Scrooge McDuck, Ritchie Rich, Carter Pewterschmitt, and Mr. Burns rolled into one.

1. Kansas – The reigning king of Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference is the home to one of the country’s worst governors – Sam Brownback. It’s also home to some of the country’s worst education policies and the home of the Westboro Baptist Church. It’s also a Flyover League favorite. They’re the home of Koch Industries and the Heritage Foundation – who some might be calling “economic terrorists”. Who needs Al Qaeda when these guys can do more damage?
Betting prediction: Kansas looks poised to repeat as conference champions, but it could actually be a toss up this year since the competition in this league is one of the most competitive. 10:1.

2. West Virginia – Coal mining country is always a hotbed for conservative insanity. Especially in an era where anti-environment coal industry CEOs are touting “clean coal” as if it’s a thing that it exists. It doesn’t. As this has been evidenced by the batshit crazy CEOs who run America’s coal mining operations and their never ending love for anti-worker conservative policies. And this is the first time they have appeared in this tournament – they recruited a lot of hot young talent, and they promise that they will go all the way!
Betting Prediction: Strong favorite to finish far, could be a huge upset if they knock off a favorite to win the first round. 5:1.

3. Wisconsin – Wisconsin is getting a huge upgrade this year. Yes, the home of New Glarus Brewing, the Green Bay Packers, and governor Scott Walker - the state that gave us House Speaker and Bro Magazine’s Bro Of The Year Paul Ryan is poised to have nearly all of its’ seats up for grabs in this year’s tournament which means that it literally could be anyone’s game and we will see the greed and big money fly during this election year of ours. They can go very far in this tournament.
Betting Prediction: Wisconsin bowed out in the first round last year and that made them angry to the point where they completely overhauled their team. 2:1.

4. Nevada – Nevada just barely missed the tournament due to injuries last year but this year they are coming back strong. And come on, how can you have a discussion on greed without having a discussion on gambling? Because the two often go hand in hand. And our president is also associated with the gambling industry. Can the gaming industry go far in this tournament? Only time will tell. The odds have them pegged as the biggest underdogs in this tournament, and we all love a good underdog story!
Betting Prediction: This is a strong conference, and the gambling industry is about as corrupt as you can expect, and they spent like ballers during the off season last year. 10:1.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]



What do you get when you mix toxic religious values with anti-progressive family legislation? You get the Family Values Conference! The Family Values Conference is the smallest conference in the league consisting of 9 (NEIN!!) teams, but they have the richest history. Family values hypocrisy is something that’s as old as the United States itself. While you’re on your 5th divorce and wondering which of your ex wives gets your alimony check this week, that poor gay or lesbian couple who lives next door is only wondering what life would be like when they get married, while transgendered people are denied bathroom privileges. Meanwhile corrupt pastors get away with the kinkiest sex imaginable and soliciting prostitutes.The Family Values Conference: Priding themselves on religious hypocrisy since 1789!

1. Indiana – This is Indiana’s first return to the tournament in many years. Last time they got trounced by Alabama who went on to win their first title. And Indiana is back and they’re looking for revenge. The Hoosier State is responsible for one of the single dumbest controversies in the country – gay wedding cakes, and with that controversy reaching SCOTUS, expect the insanity to fly like a triple double!
Betting Prediction: Indiana is a hot young team and they’ve recruited a lot of young talent, and they have a very talented staff. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

2. Alabama – Last year’s conference champion and the reigning king of the Family Values Conference suffered a bit of a setback and almost didn’t make the tournament this year but they are rested and they are ready. Of course we saw a lot of Alabama last year with the insanity surrounding Roy Moore’s campaign which saw him defeated by Doug Jones. But they also have another evil that they refuse to let go of – gay conversion therapy!
Betting prediction: Last year’s insane campaign of Roy Moore left them exhausted and they just barely made the tournament. If they do get out of the first round it will be interesting to watch. 20:1.

3. Utah – The Mormons are making their first ever appearance in our Stupidest State tournament, and they have the guts to go very far. It’s one of the hardest states to get liquor in but is the home of some of the best skiing in the country. Of course it’s outer beauty hides its’ inner ugly – the Mormon church is the dominant religion in the state and has produced some of the country’s most insane family values laws.
Betting Prediction: Utah’s first time in the tournament means that they will be fighting for supremacy in this division but if they can make it they will be Final Four contenders! 10:1.

4. Ohio – Ohio has been a family values underdog for years. They just barely edged out Arkansas for the first time in the tournament. Sure, they have the progressive cities of Cleveland, Akron, and Cincinatti. But the Buckeye State is ruled by rural farming communities, and they too are ruled by religion, which has given us some of the most batshit policies and SCOTUS cases in history. Ohio could go far in the tournament but this conference is really anyone’s game.
Betting Prediction: While traditionally a blue state, Ohio’s red state values have shocked and surprised people. They could do some serious damage here. 5:1.

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]



Shoot first and ask questions later. That’s the name of the game in this conference. It’s also the most effective means of communication in these states.It’s the conference where you too can take your AK-47 out on a dinner date to Chipotle, and nobody will seem to care. In fact they too might have their own AK. It’s the conference where the only thing that matters is your precious firearm. Hardcore racism and extreme gun nuttery usually go hand in hand in this conference. We’re not saying all gun nuts are hardcore racists, but all hardcore racists are gun nuts. It’s the conference where debating between concealed carry and open carry can be considered a contact sport. And you can ask your fellow gun lovers “Do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?”. And getting shot means it’s usually God’s will.

1. Florida – Florida earns the number 1 seed in this conference. You might be asking “wait – wasn’t Florida a member of the Batshit Conference?”. Well I answer you – yes – but Florida was tired of losing and it has some of this country’s worst gun laws. It was also home to the Parkland School Shooting, and a legislature that almost literally threw these kids under the bus. They have the potential to make the final four this year.
Betting Prediction: After Florida Man’s humiliating stunt cost them the tournament last year, they’re angry and looking for redemption. But a repeat of last year wouldn’t be out of the question. 10:1.

2. Louisiana – The Bayou State is one of the worst states to live in if you don’t want to be associated with gun nuts. It’s the home of New Orleans, and if the creepy mascots of their NBA team the New Orleans Pelicans are any indication of what kind of people they elect, keep in mind that this is the state that gave us Bobby Jindal. They have the wit and gun nut insanity to outlast the tournament.
Betting Prediction: Another tournament first timer, Loosiana has recruited a lot of hot young talent and their gun laws are often referred to as the country’s worst. Expect them to go far. 5:1

3. Montana – Last year’s #1 seat and Flyover League champion Montana is poised to make a huge splash in this year’s tournament. They went from underdogs to juggernauts in the league with a toxic mix of wannabe cowboys, white supremacist militia hate groups, and doomsday preppers. As we learned last year – Montana has the nation’s highest concentration of racist hate groups (after all, they are the home of Richard Spencer) as well as the highest concentration of gun manufacturers. And yes, Frank Zappa might be moving to Montana to start a dental floss farm, but if you live in fear of getting shot, this state might not be the state for you.
Betting Prediction: Montana’s strong finish as league champions last year left them exhausted, but they could see a return to the top if healthy enough. 5:1.

4. Arizona – Last year’s conference champion got an extra upgrade when they kicked Sheriff Joe to the curb. But now he’s back and running for Senate! Yes, these guys never seem to go away but with the news of one of the worst sheriffs in the country and a guy who will look the other way if you take your AK on a dinner date is running for senate, expect that the batshit and the bullets will fly as they work their way up to a comeback as conference champions!
Betting Prediction: Arizona lost in a shoot out to Montana last year, but they went back to the drawing board and got a lot of hot young talent. Expect them to go far. 2:1.

[font size="6"]The Bracket [/font]

Here’s the bracket:



And here’s the schedule.



[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

For the first round of the tournament – it’s a battle for the batshit as #1 Iowa takes on #2 Kentucky, while in the Flyover League, it’s a duel to the death as #3 Montana takes on #4 Arizona in a rematch of last year’s conference championship.




[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Imagine Dragons[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the show is our good friends of the program and a huge ally to the LGBT community. They have a new documentary on HBO called “Believer” and you can see them on tour everywhere this July and August. Now playing that song Believer, give it up for Imagine Dragons!





See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: UCB Theater Franklin St., Hollywood, CA
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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K&R nt flying rabbit Jul 2018 #1
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