BREAKING: A dejected Scott Pruitt found shopping alone for lotion ("It's just not the same")
BREAKING NEWS - NO LINK YET.
WASHINGTON DC - Scott Pruitt, former EPA head, was spotted at a local Ritz Carlton today, perusing their selection of lotions. When approached by reporters, he stated that he had driven himself to the Ritz, and that he would be paying for the lotion out of his own pocket, rather than turning in an expense account.
"It's just not the same," said Pruitt. "My hands, as well as other parts of my body, will still be silky-smooth, but I already miss the good old days of sitting back in my limo, sipping on a nice single malt, while I was chauffeured to my shopping sprees. Plus, this stuff isn't cheap. Looks like I'll be having my Beluga tonight without toast points."
By Thursday afternoon, rumors had surfaced that Pruitt would be the host of a new Fox News show, "Fox with No Friends." The Fox News Network did not immediately return our calls.
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