Just overheard: "You have no right to hit. You'Re not his mother or

[lindysalsagal]

Father. You can't do that."

It was a grandmother to 3 boys under 7 at a state park.

Right before that, I overheard a father nastily telling his 19 yo daughter to get a better attitude and stop sulking, or she can wait in the car.

And we wonder where hateful frump votees come from.

[RockRaven]

1. Authoritarianism is deeply woven into some people. It infects everything.

Religion, politics, the workplace, family life. It's a toxic, interconnected mess.

[Loki Liesmith]

2. Oh good, some backseat parenting

[cyclonefence]

3. I actually like what the grandmother said

It doesn't mean that parents should or will hit their children; it means if anyone has a right to hit a child (which no one does) it's a parent. Good way to stop boys from hitting each other--they are probably from families where parents do hit their children, so it was speaking a language they could understand. Smart grandma, I think.

And are you really offended by the father telling the teenager to stop sulking or stay in the car? Have you ever had to spend time with a sulky teenager? Father offered her a choice--it's up to her. If she wants to be with the rest of the family, she has to stop being a shit. If she wants to continue being a shit, she can stay by herself.

I think it's a leap to associate these forms of parenting with the vicious ruthlessness and cruelty of Trumpism.

[Drahthaardogs]

4. Oh MY God!

A father told his 19 year old to act like an adult or go sit in the car like a baby.

I hope someone called Social Services...

[lindysalsagal]

9. She was 10, and clearly depressed, and he was abusive.

[MineralMan]

14. Was she 10 or 19? Please get your story straight, OK?

We have only what you posted over which to ponder. In your OP, you say the daughter was 19. The OP still says she was 19. Which is it? Perhaps when you write up one of these observations, you could take a little more time and provide a little more information. Then, you could read it again before posting to make sure you didnt mistype.Words are free here on DU. You can use as many as you want.

[Drahthaardogs]

17. You said she was 19

.

[Tipperary]

18. I thought you said she was 19? And how did you know how old she was anyway?

Last edited Fri Jul 6, 2018, 05:09 PM - Edit history (1)

Weird how I never notice family interactions elsewhere. I guess I am just busy minding my own damn business.

But it is a cool story bro.

[B2G]

5. 'Stop sulking or you can wait in the car'?

And you didn't call the authorities?

LMAO.

[Petosky Stone]

6. When we were kids, the neighbors were allowed (expected?) to whack on you.

It was probably all mostly well deserved.

And then when you got home, Mom or Dad had already heard about your behavior, so you got it again.

My best friend's Polish grandmother had a piece of hotwheels track over every doorjamb. Because we couldn't understand her, we were never really sure why she was whacking us, but we sure seemed to deserve it often.

[LanternWaste]

13. That's often a justification used by victims

"It was probably all mostly well deserved..."

That's often a justification used by victims of domestic and spousal abuse to better normalize their abnormal lives.

I get it though... hitting children is a way of life for many people and they will attempt to trivialize it, minimize it, excuse it, rationalize it... anything in order to normalize violence.

[MineralMan]

7. I think you have picked weak examples, really.

The grandmother may have spoken incorrectly, but if she got the boys to stop hitting, I'm OK with it.

As for the father and the sulky 19 year old daughter, I can't say I see anything wrong there. Not at all. She's an adult, but she's still a member of that family. Staying in the car is an option if she's unhappy with something, rather than whining and sulking in her father's or family's activity.

"If you're going to act that way, you can just wait in the car until we return." I don't see anything there that would lead to someone becoming hateful and Trump-like. Instead, I see a lesson in proper behavior and self-control. That's something a lot of people need, it seems to me.

[lindysalsagal]

10. I never heard a word from her nor saw any bad behavior.

The father was enjoying taunting her. There was a nine yo boy with them, off by himself with his face in his hands trying not to cry, wiping his face. Miserable group.

[B2G]

11. You saw a very quick snapshot.

You have no clue what went on before or after.

Threatening to send a surly kid to the car isn't abuse. It's parenting.

[MineralMan]

12. I had only your original brief description to go by, you realize?

You said nothing about that. How long did you observe them? Long enough to determine the dynamic of the situation? How did you determine the father's level of enjoyment?

So many questions. So little information.

[Tipperary]

19. How do you know all these people's ages and family relationships?

[WillowTree]

21. Thanks for saving me the trouble of asking............

And have a great weekend!!

[Tipperary]

23. Lol! Yes, kind of perplexing, ya know?

[MineralMan]

27. Now, she's 10 and the not-mentioned brother is 9?

Are these people you know? You said she was 19 in the first post. Do you not understand our confusion here? Maybe you should start over and tell us the entire story?

Unless you do that, I'm out, and question the entire incident.

[Tipperary]

22. And you were there just staring at them?

No one should judge anyone else’s family dynamic, especially in a vacation area lol. Many, my family had some epic meltdowns as we moved through our lives. I am so glad someone was not there just judging and staring. I guess your family life is perfect, amirite?

[CentralMass]

8. Really ? Is telling boys not to hit each other or telling a teenage daughter to reign in her

attitude bad ?

[NCTraveler]

15. Creative storytelling requires more depth. nt

[MineralMan]

16. Indeed. And accuracy, too. Words are free on DU.

I encourage people to use as many as are needed to tell the entire story. And then, it's useful to proofread to make sure you have your facts right. Otherwise, it's very confusing, indeed.

[Tipperary]

20. Gotta agree. I think what this is commonly called a "bouncy."

How the op knew the ages, the relationship of woman to children etc. is beyond me. Perhaps she quizzed them.

[NCTraveler]

24. The people being discussed....

Are probably on a progressive discussion board today talking about the fascist Republican they ran into.

[Tipperary]

25. Yeah, if it even happened lol.

I think not.

[Horse with no Name]

29. Curious where you heard the term "bouncy"?

I thought this pejorative was only used on whatever they call their rw cesspool these days??
I used to like Bouncy. Just curious.

[Codeine]

26. What exactly is wrong with telling a sulking child

(or teenaged young adult; your story isn’t exactly holding together consistently) to knock it off? Kids get selfish and crabby sometimes, especially while traveling, and on those occasions a verbal reality check is proper parenting.

[Turbineguy]

28. People are having a tough time coping.

Their cups of shit runneth over.