Beware the Day-Glo Orange Swamp Monster! . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump!!!

[skip fox]

Donald ("It's the scat tapes I'm really worried about" ) Trump is saying: "Fake news is going wild! . . . But it's no big deal, having Putin to the White House. . . . Look, if you take all the time he and I have really spent together, it's not much more than a play-date. . . . So now it's time for him to see where I live."





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Above CAPTION based on Trump's 7.19.18 invitation to Putin to visit Washington this fall as covered by Reuters:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-russia/trump-invites-putin-to-washington-despite-us-uproar-over-helsinki-summit-idUSKBN1K9203

[Moostache]

1. "I just Trumped in my pants...and you can't stop me..." (n/t)

[Docreed2003]

2. "I sure hope these Depends will hold up through this meeting...we'll see...we'll see"

[Johonny]

3. I wanted to correct a few things. When I said I wouldn't say Russian prostitutes urinated on me

they didn't, but they might have left a Cleveland steamer or three. When I said there wasn't sex yacht parties anymore like there was in the 80s, I meant to say there was. In fact sex yachts are making a YUGE come back thanks to the tax cuts. I'm buying an official White House sex yacht. I'm calling Girl Forced One. Get it. They will, trust me. When I said there would be a little environmental regulations, just a little. There won't. Fuck the trees. When I said I knew people you never heard of that were better than the people you heard of. I meant I knew Russians. Really good Russians. Great Urinating Russians. Best piss ever. Oh, and when I said I wanted to bang my daughter, that wasn't completely true. I was a son and not wanted. Well...I hope that clears things up.

[skip fox]

5. D.T. continues:

"Oh yes, a lot people are talking about the sex-space force and keep asking me to announce it like I am doing right now. . . . It's critically important. . . . United States will prevail in space. . . . Anyway I heard you don't need condoms in outer space somuch as a couple elastic straps. . . . and when they're weightless, women can't get pregnant. . . Lots of people are saying."

[Johonny]

8. Oh, and I slept with a few Playboy models. I said I didn't but I did.

You'd have banged them too. Back then that is. Now they're all old and fat. There's no good playboy anymore too. It's a shame. One of Americas best products and cheap Chinese porn ruined it. We're going to have a girlie magazine tariff. It's going to be the biggest thing to hit American girlie magazines since Twiggy. I'm making this a second term priority right after getting Christie Love.

[VOX]

4. "In Helsinki, Vlad gave me some black satin undies. I'm wearing them right now."

“And I’m not going to take them off until I see him again in November, when he’s coming over here to personally ensure that our voting systems are all up and running properly. I hope he can stay for the exciting military parade that he ordered me to stage; you could say he’d by my guest, but he’s more than that: he’s a friend who needed me, just like I need him.. Oh, and there’s been no collusion, no collusion. Did you get that? I said there was no collusion.”

[skip fox]

6. D.T. continues:

"And maybe I can show him my military parade. . . . That would real be cool."

[dembotoz]

7. Vlad wants to sleep with Melania and told me I could watch