Leaders of ISIS & Al Qaeda Puzzled Why DT Has Not Invited Them to White House (Borowitz)

[Stonepounder]

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/leaders-of-isis-and-al-qaeda-puzzled-why-trump-has-not-invited-them-to-white-house

Leaders of ISIS and Al Qaeda Puzzled Why Trump Has Not Invited Them to White House

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The leaders of isis and Al Qaeda said on Friday that they were totally perplexed as to why Donald J. Trump had not yet invited them to the White House.

The terror chiefs said that, as sworn enemies of the United States, they had certainly attacked the country enough to warrant an invitation for an official visit, and possibly a state dinner.
“Maybe we haven’t done anything to directly undermine their democracy—I get that,” Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of isis, said. “But we’ve been nemeses of America for years, and that ought to be worth something.”

Ayman al-Zawahiri, the leader of Al Qaeda, said that he also feels snubbed. “No invitation. Not even a save-the-date,” he said. “At this point, I’d settle for the White House Easter Egg Roll, but I’m not counting on anything.” Calling the absence of a White House invitation for Al Qaeda “the height of unfairness,” the evildoer added, bitterly, “The whole thing seems political.”

Hibatullah Akhundzada, the current leader of the Taliban, said that, like his terrorist colleagues, he was “dumbfounded” that Trump invited Vladimir Putin and not him to the White House. “At some point you have to wonder, what does Putin have on this guy?” he said.

[smirkymonkey]

1. Brilliant!

[SunSeeker]

2. K & R

[progree]

3. A true story of puzzlement: Montenegro more puzzled than affronted by Trump's attention

PODGORICA, Montenegro (AP) — World War III? Not us, say the puzzled people of Montenegro.

Public officials in this tiny European nation didn't know what to say initially when U.S. President Donald Trump suggested that NATO's newest and smallest member, which has a military with fewer than 2,000 members, could be the spark that sets off a global Armageddon.

That the leader of the world's dominant superpower would characterize the 620,000 or so Montenegrins as "very strong" and "very aggressive people" rendered their government speechless. It found its voice Thursday, and what came out was less a battle cry than a chorus of "Kumbaya."

"We build friendships, and we have not lost a single one," read a statement issued in the capital, Podgorica, in response to the media's clamoring for comment. "It does not matter how big or small you are, but to what extent you cherish the values of freedom, solidarity and democracy."

Read more: https://www.chron.com/news/world/article/Montenegro-more-puzzled-than-affronted-by-Trump-s-13088779.php

Thanks Judi Lynn https://www.democraticunderground.com/10142114443

I couldn't help but being reminded of this article when I read the Borowitz Report. The Montenegro story reads sounds very like Borowitz/Onion, but unfortunately isn't.

[BadgerMom]

4. K and R

Brilliant.

[ProudProgressiveNow]

5. KR NT