Larry David: The Most Important Meal of the Day

[dalton99a]

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/23/opinion/john-kelly-breakfast-pastries-larry-david.html

Larry David: The Most Important Meal of the Day
By Larry David
Mr. David is the creator of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” His typical breakfast consists of poached eggs with a bagel.
July 23, 2018


The White House chief of staff, John Kelly, left, with Kay Bailey Hutchison, the American ambassador to NATO; President Trump; and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo in Brussels last week. Credit Doug Mills/The New York Times

There have been a number of highly publicized walk-backs by the White House of late, the most notable being “wouldn’t” replacing “would.” The week before, however, there was one during the NATO Conference in Brussels that went somewhat under the radar. While President Trump was berating Germany, Gen. John F. Kelly, his chief of staff, was clearly seen grimacing at the table. Within hours, Sarah Huckabee Sanders issued a statement saying the reason Kelly grimaced was not because of anything Trump said; rather, Kelly was displeased “because he was expecting a full breakfast and there were only pastries and cheese.”

Sanders was roundly mocked for that explanation, but being a big breakfast fan, I withheld any criticism until I could gather more information about the incident. And gather I did. I have since concluded that Sanders was, in fact, correct. And although the last thing I’d ever want to do is defend the White House, the facts are irrefutable. I present them herein.

The night before the aforementioned conference, Kelly had a light supper consisting of fresh halibut and peas. By 11 o’clock that evening, he was starving and lightheaded. He eyed the Pringles in the mini bar, but then decided it made more sense to go to bed hungry and gorge himself the next morning on a huge breakfast. (Note: In speaking with some of Kelly’s friends and family, I’ve learned he’s always been a big breakfast guy. Legend has it he made his first bacon and eggs unsupervised while standing on a chair when he was 2 and a half. Even when he was stationed in Iraq, he made sure to have his breakfast brought in every morning, sometimes at great personal risk to the aide-de-camp.)

Back to the night in question … At 11:03 p.m., he called the young Belgian assigned to him, Romain De Stedt, to find out when the conference was starting in the morning so he would have enough time to have breakfast in the hotel without rushing. (He considered a rushed breakfast a crime against nature.) But young De Stedt told him he could sleep in, assuring him they’d be serving breakfast at the conference.

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely. And it’s gonna be a good one, from what I’m told. Pancakes.”

Kelly couldn’t believe his ears. “Pancakes? You’re kidding.”

“I wouldn’t kid about that. With real maple syrup.”

Kelly’s mouth watered. “Gee, it’s been a while since I had pancakes with real maple syrup. You know this for a fact?”

....

[Ohiogal]

1. I'm sorry

but fuck Kelly and fuck his big breakfast and fuck this lighthearted little fluff piece about this odious, racist, boot licker.

No offense on you, dalton99a.

[dalton99a]

2. None taken

[underpants]

3. I thought it was lunch at the diner