This is kind of awkward.

[Liberal Veteran]

I haven't been particularly close to my brother either geographically or otherwise for the last 30 years. Last he knew, I lived 3000 miles away. I didn't bother telling him I moved back across the country three years ago which put me about 500 miles away. Honestly, I never made much effort other than the random funeral.

Found out yesterday, he moved this month....to within 20 miles of where I now live (essentially, one county over).

We are polar opposites on the political/religious spectrum. You can pretty much guess where each of us lies on that spectrum based on the fact that I am a big D Democrat and the stuff I see him post is stuff that makes me more than a little apprehensive. I'm about We've managed to stay distantly cordial.

Now I find myself wondering if the neighborly thing to do is to try to reach out or just let sleeping dogs lie or is there something in between?

Maybe suggest a meetup and discuss some terms? Neither of us are toxic in the sense that we both are self-sufficient and not remotely likely to end up on each other's couch, but the political climate being what it is, I cleave to the peace I have in life I currently have and don't know that I want to introduce an unknown quantity into my life. On the flip side, it seems kind of rude to be so close and not make the attempt.

Like I said, awkward.

[TreasonousBastard]

1. Relax, I have a wingnut brother that I get along with most of the time...

Lives 20 miles down the road. Hardly ever talk unless something comes up, but when we do we are cordial.

Can't hurt to say hello.

[rzemanfl]

2. Did he bother to tell you or did you learn it from someone else? If it's the latter,

let him make the first move or wait for the funeral.

[Liberal Veteran]

6. Point in fact. I found out by way of an intermediary...

...who probably isn't aware of just how much proximity there is now. Probably not too many opportunities where funerals are concerned anymore. We are the one's getting old now (no parents or grandparents surviving).

[rzemanfl]

7. So it's a lottery. Yours or his and will the survivor go. n/t

[malaise]

3. Reach out

Family matters - if it doesn't work out, you would have tried and can rest easy. :

[madaboutharry]

4. Families...they are something else....

It sounds like there never was an ugly falling out between you, rather just a long drift.

I don't see how making contact is a bad thing. You can even get together and make a "no talking about politics or religion" rule, like at work.

Now that you are older, maybe you would both be grateful for the friendship.

[blm]

5. It might be easier to wait a few months till Mueller lays out the crimes

Surrounding Trump’s election. Then give him a couple weeks to absorb it. Going through it myself.

[Lucca2]

8. Ask yourself how you'd feel

if he were no longer alive. Would you regret not seeing him? I empathize with you and there is no easy answer. But humans are social animals and family is a big part of our early life. It can feel good to try...may not work but you reached out.

[nevergiveup]

9. Wonderful response!

[Blue_true]

13. I was going to write something similar.

Regardless of how hard we try, some bonds will never break. It is important to say important things to a person while they are living, because once they are dead, what was to be said is meaningless.

People have shared happy memories from childhood. Maybe set some ground rules about politics and meet at times to talk about other things in life outside views on Trump, women's rights, ect.

[magicarpet]

10. Brother V Brother...

I curse the Fascist extreme Right-Wing to have polarized politics so it is this damn toxic.

They won't be happy until they whip things up and cause a hot Civil War II.

[matt819]

11. If you want to reconnect with your sibling

Politics has to be off limits.

Weather. Sports. Non-political hobbies. Nieces, nephews. Vacations. Jobs. There once was a time that we as a society didn’t discuss politics 100% of the time. Try that. See if it works.

[Blue_true]

12. Just tell him you live close by. Leave things at that.

Let him get in touch with you if he wants to. Luckily for me, I have no family like him.

[FakeNoose]

14. Do you and your brother root for the same teams?

If so, maybe you can make it a sports-related event, and invite him to a ballgame or something. Then when you're together on neutral ground, find a way to gently tell him that you don't share his political views. Maybe he's fine with keeping it off-limits.

Do you or your brother have any childhood friends living nearby? Perhaps you can include a friend to break the ice and keep the conversation going. Hopefully your friend will understand and agree to help with handling your brother.

So I hope this helps, and good luck!

[Liberal Veteran]

15. The crux of our estrangement is more that I bat for the same team.

There have been apologies and overtures, but no real healing and if I am completely honest there are some things I haven't forgiven that were said and done decades ago.

I guess in the final analysis, there will never be a semblance of closure or healing if I don't make an effort. I'm just not so sure I'm in a place where I want to pull the scab back on some old wounds.

Our political differences make it tougher call. We have so little in common, but we are family. I guess it's true that every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

[FakeNoose]

16. Sorry I don't have any better advice

Good luck and God bless!

Your friends on DU will always understand and support you.

[Phoenix61]

18. Family isn't necessarily the people with whom

we share genetic material. They are the people who see who we can be and help us become that person. They love the best in us and understand the worst.

We are rarely born into our spiritual family.
Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

[NCTraveler]

17. You each have thirty years of stories to tell.

If you reach out, I hope it’s wonderful for both of you. The toughest ones for me are when I find myself saying I should have done something.