"Local woman perfects art of gardening without soil or vegetation touching shoes, hands or shears."

[kpete]

Link to tweet

[BSdetect]

1. She does cultivate at least one toadstool.

[irisblue]

36. 👏👏👏

[sinkingfeeling]

2. There's nothing in the basket. Get her away from Mrs. Obama's garden.

[DetlefK]

3. Look how clean those shoes are. Not one crumb of soil. While gardening!

[Zoonart]

9. Clean gloves too.

[GoCubsGo]

50. Everything on her looks brand new.

Well, maybe not the designer sunglasses. And, those sure as hell are not gardening gloves.

[CatMor]

4. While wearing her $1,300.00 red plaid blouse.

[lindysalsagal]

5. Maybe she can take over for the beleagered soybean farmers, huh?

She really believes she's the most expensive mannequin in the world....And that's enough for her.

You can put the model (gangster) in the white house, but you can't take the model (gangster) out of the white house stealer.

[MineralMan]

6. I cahnt belief I have touched ze dirts.

I must go indoors and shower my body now.

[LuckyCharms]

7. Ah, here's the REAL truth of gardening the right way...

1) So many different bug bites that you are concerned that you may have been poisoned.

2) Dirt under your finger nails, despite the fact that you have been wearing heavy duty gloves.

3) Fungal infection under your thumb nail that takes a year to clear up with Tea Tree Oil.

4) Sunburn on the back of your neck that is so bad, it compels you to go for a skin cancer check.

5) WHAT THE HELL I'VE NEVER SEEN A WASP THAT BIG!

6) Underwear soaked with sweat...and then the itching starts.

7) Temporary blindness from continuous salty sweat pouring into your eye holes.

8) Praying you don't have a heart attack in the foliage, because no one will find you for days.

[Ohiogal]

8. Lucky, that is hilarious, and so true!

The only other thing I can add is the chronic back ache you cultivate along with your veggies .... and the stooped over walk you adopt.

Of course we all know Mel's appearance was just for show. I don't think she knows a pepper from a squash. They are all such "great pretenders".

[LuckyCharms]

10. Oh yes! The backache!

The best part is when it moves from your lower back to your mid-back, last for over a year, and convinces you that you have spinal cancer!

Yep!

[2naSalit]

11. And your knees...

that's all need to say about that.

[LuckyCharms]

12. Yes! They make sounds!

[2naSalit]

15. My knee caps are shot, can't kneel on them anymore at all.

[LuckyCharms]

17. I'm really sorry to hear that.

I can still kneel, but it hurts like hell. I have a decent pair of knee pads that helps. My worst problem is my back. Per the MRI...every single thoracic and lumbar vertebrae has a significant problem.

Take care with your knees.

[2naSalit]

18. I have the

spinal issues too, degenerative arthritis and bulging disks, just got on disability a couple months ago. My best option is to keep the muscles around my bones healthy so I'm working on that. I'm still getting around but not sure how long that will last. One day I'll fall down and break and that'll be it for me. I'm okay with it, done some sould searching about it and ma okay with whatever happens since I don't have a "sell by" date to go on.

[LuckyCharms]

19. Do you mind saying what you are doing for the muscles?

I try to stretch mine by "going toward the pain". In other words, I stretch and try to make it hurt a little. Seems to help, but only for a short period.

[2naSalit]

28. I was fortunate to

have discovered some of my problem back in my 30s, in college and had the benefit of the PT dept. chair's attention. He set me up with a management plan for my shoulder which I had trashed throwing freight and driving for many years. More recently, 2012, I had a collapse on the job and had to keep working for five years before I could get the MRIs I needed. So I started with pressure point therapy, you can't really work on your muscles if they are knotted up so they need to be released first. I have a therapist help with that part using ultrasound and electrostim, then they press on the muscle until it "releases" and it feels better immediately. After that I use two tennis balls stuffed in a sock and use it under my back and shoulders to do the same thing on the floor at home.

The tennis ball tool, along with stretches and some exercise keep me mobile with a lessened pain factor. Occasionally I blow it by forgetting that I'm not Shee-Ra anymore, then I have to go back to PT for a week or two to undo the surface damage and get back to where I can manage at home. I only take IB for pain on occasion since I have a high tolerance for pain, I also make a salve with comfrey as a topical pain reliever too.

That's what I do, it's about all I can do but it is livable for now.

[LuckyCharms]

30. Thanks very much for this.

I have a PT order from my doc, but I have been sitting on it. I have to psyche myself up to go. Had a rotator cuff problem about 10 years ago, and while the PT helped it, it was a very painful, several month series of treatments. I will look into making an appointment this week, but I have to check my insurance first, because for some reason, they have taken to denying coverage for just about everything. I too have a high pain tolerance, so I take about 3-4 pain pills a week, just to take the edge off for a few hours when it gets unbearable.

[2naSalit]

35. I do the same

with meds, just to take the edge off once in while, or if I can't sleep for a day or two.

I started out with a rotator cuff problem about 30 years ago and the arthritis was identified then. My first management program was for that along with chronic tendonitis. It doesn't get any better.

So if you have a PT option, go there, tell them what you are dealing with and select the options that work for you. The PT outfit I have been going to for the last year are very highly rated but two of them wanted to do this "dry needling" on me and I declined because I don't like the concept - it is not acupuncture though they imply that it does the same thing and they try to convince you by encouraging breathing exercises that you'd do in yoga or meditation sessions. Not saying that the breathing exercise isn't a ood thing but I felt they used it to validate the needling thing. They are both women. Then, this last time, after getting in SSDI, was already on Medicaid, I got the guy there and he was open to the ultrasound and all that and it helped a lot. Treatment I should have received back in 2012! Now I'm working on rebuilding some of what I lost, I used to be pretty buffed out, not ready to lose all that yet.

Anyway, you should go, it's worth it. I had to be referred by my primary care Dr so look into that and check with the PT people before you start anything. Good luck!

2na

[TNNurse]

62. GO TO PT

I am a huge fan. They kept me going until I had my knee replaced and then got me going after.

Results Physiotherapy in East TN is great. You need to find some place where the therapists are very hands on until you can function by yourself. Good luck.

[Ohiogal]

23. Sorry to hear it

and please take care! Spinal issues suck!

[Ohiogal]

21. I have a very hard time getting up if I kneel down.

Might have to crawl back into the house on my hands and knees one of these days....

[LuckyCharms]

24. Please be careful. When I remodeled my kitchen 2 years ago...

I got stuck on the floor, screaming, for over 2 hours. Couldn't even roll over. What they taught me in the ER was... roll over onto whatever side that you can. Place the elbow of the side you are laying on the ground, with your forearm sticking up toward the ceiling.

Take your other hand and clasp it with the "elbow on the ground" hand. Then push those hands together, using your arm strength and leverage to raise yourself up. Kind of hard to explain in writing...

Good luck and take care of yourself.

[LuckyCharms]

26. Sorry...just re-read. Yikes, I don't know how to get up...

when your knees give out!

[Ohiogal]

41. That's good advice on how to get yourself up, thanks!

If all else fails, my dog will come and lick me .....

[2naSalit]

38. I keep a walking stick handy, just in case.

[Ohiogal]

42. Another great idea, thanks!

[sarge43]

73. Screams of pain n/t

[calimary]

94. OY the backache! All that bending over.

And lifting and digging and more bending over. Weight-lifting, too. BIIIIIIIIIG bags of mulch. Last week I worked in the front all morning, quit in the midday heat, and before wrapping everything up for the day, turned the hose on myself. Felt sooooooo good.

[mercuryblues]

13. After all that

you go out one morning to pick the harvest, just in time to see a deer jumping over the 4' fence and all your tomatoes & green beans gone.

[LuckyCharms]

14. Or the gopher standing on his hind legs...

eating your stuff, not caring that you are yelling at him.

[marylandblue]

22. You are in the gopher's home, I hope you are not in a stand-your-ground state.

[LuckyCharms]

25. My neighbor shoots them with some kind of pellet gun.

This upsets me. Even though they are pests, I can't/won't kill anything.

[Ohiogal]

46. I had a neighbor a few years ago who did the same thing.

I can't kill anything, either. I even warn the rabbits in the yard before I let my dog out!

[Ohiogal]

48. I had that experience exactly.

One year a gopher ate all my broccoli plants down to mere stubs! My husband put a fence up around the garden after that. Although he wasn't heartbroken in the least about my broccoli.

[sarge43]

70. Also

9) You lose your balance or trip at least once and fall onto the heritage tomato plant, crushing it.

10) You pull up one weed and three immediately take its place.

11) The next morning you awake to see that a black bear has spent the night sleeping in the middle of your perfectly groomed garden.

[irisblue]

16. Wut? She didn't plant this?

Justin Hendrix (@justinhendrix) Tweeted:
Good morning NYC! https://t.co/hEE32epQN6

Link to tweet

[Mc Mike]

20. Mime.

[WhiteTara]

27. And she perfected the art of being a pretzel.

[greatauntoftriplets]

29. OMG, that's hilarious!

It's so obviously nothing but a photo op.

[gay texan]

31. Be best? n/t

[LuckyCharms]

32. I take that exact position when I perform the classic and time honored play...

"Farting on the Foliage".

[llmart]

33. As a certified Advanced Master Gardener...

for decades now, I take offense at this poser pretending she gardens. Can't remember a time I wore a long sleeved flannel shirt to work in a garden. Oh, and of course I always match my garden gloves that are pristine (NOT) with my outfit.

I'm not surprised she is trying to steal the "gardening" theme from our real and much loved FLOTUS, Michelle Obama since she had no problem stealing her speeches.

[MontanaMama]

34. You beat me to it.

Melanie can never and will never shine as brightly as Mrs. Obama on her worst day. If that’s our FLOTUS’ garden, she needs to get the hell out of it. Like her husband, anything she touches probably dies.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

57. Master Gardener here, too. My garden gloves are dirty and don't match,

I'm wearing a grubby, sweaty old t-shirt, I've got bug bites and welts from things with thorns on my arms and legs, I've got sweat in my eyes and burrs in my hair and my back and knees hurt.

Melania is not gardening as that term is understood by normal people.

[Botany]

67. 4 year degree in Botany/Ecology and 30 years of experience in landscape, nursery, and ecological ...

.... restoration here.

And yes, who wears a flannel shirt to work in a garden in D.C. in July? Flannel shirts are worn
Oct to March when working outdoors. No socks and brand new "Chuck Taylor" basketball
shoes too.

[Autumn]

37. Is that one of those invisible cucumbers she's putting in her basket?

[llmart]

40. LOL

The quote by Thomas Jefferson on the plaque - I'd lay dollars to donuts she doesn't have a clue who Thomas Jefferson was.

[Autumn]

43. I'd lay dollars to donuts she doesn't know her ass from a hole in the ground.

Young plants to the left of her and green tomato's to the right. WTF IS she harvesting ? I know she's not planting, those are pristine church gloves she's wearing.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

58. She can't identify a hole in the ground. She doesn't do "ground."

[Snake Plissken]

39. And people wonder why she was awarded an Einstein visa

Even Jesus needed to start out with a loaf of bread and a few fish.

[lunatica]

44. That's gotta be photoshopped

Why would she lower herself like that?

[onethatcares]

45. do you think

her and the donald will eat those collard greens? With hot sauce and hamhocks?

what a waste of seed.

[Demovictory9]

47. surprised she's not wearing stilletos

[Ohiogal]

85. Ha ha!

[Farmer-Rick]

49. Aside from missing produce in the basket, other problems include

No socks? Dirt and mulch will be woking its way down those naked ankels into the bottom of those pristine shoes.

Sun glasses? Unless you use a strap to keep them on, they will be sliding off that surgically altered nose and onto the ground.

Hair dangling down into her face will be blocking her view of the hired gardeners on tractors coming up behind her.

Nothing says poser like a former nude model and escort pretending to garden. Be Best!

[Totally Tunsie]

51. Give Melly a break, People!

Last edited Sun Jul 29, 2018, 12:09 PM - Edit history (1)

She needs that pic as photographic evidence that she has those clippers for something other than what she's really planning on using them for if Donny gets too close.

"Vel, dez are my werry spesshul cleepers, so I need to keep dem here en da nightstand en my sleeping chamber."

[Liberalagogo]

52. All those plants are going to die

from the obvious lack of any discernible warmth in that picture.

[nolabear]

53. Dalink I love you but give me Park Avenue...

[catbyte]

54. @RogueFirstLady replies:

Link to tweet

Everything in picture still have price tag attach.

[Squinch]

55. What an idiot. She's just sleazy and gross.

[catbyte]

56. Everything she does is a poor, pathetic, plastic imitation of a real FLOTUS:

[IMG][/IMG]

[CentralMass]

59. She is spreading the manure.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

60. That's not even a well-staged photo-op.

She can't be harvesting anything because there's nothing there to harvest. The basket is empty and her shoes and gloves are immaculate. There's nothing in that photo that is relevant to the use of those brand-new pruning shears. If they wanted to stage a gardening photo-op they should have at least hired someone who knew something about gardening so it wouldn't be so obviously fake. And gardening in a long-sleeved flannel shirt in D.C. in July? I don't think so.

[malaise]

61. This is nothing but a photo op

[oasis]

63. "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think".

I read that on a garden shop apron back in the '80s.

[llmart]

68. Perfect caption for her picture.

[oasis]

69. It's aged at bit, but the first thing that came to my mind. nt

[sarge43]

71. I think Dorothy Parker snarked that classic. n/t

[oasis]

75. The Algonquin Round Table gang would have a field day

on the subject of Traitorr🇷🇺Trump.

[3catwoman3]

88. OMG - that is hysterically...

...perfect!

What an empty life she must lead. It seems that posing is her only skill.

[oasis]

90. Melania had a decent life until Trump became POTUS. nt

[cyclonefence]

64. The Outdoors brings out the plaid

?quality=90&auto=webp

[Totally Tunsie]

74. Times must be tough...they're sharing clothes now.

[appleannie1943]

65. Planting young broccoli with pruning shears.

[PufPuf23]

66. Look how white are her sneakers.

Thought this was going to be an interesting post on gardening. lol

[Totally Tunsie]

91. "How White Are Her Sneakers"...

sounds like the follow-up to "How Green Was My Valley".

[mainer]

92. The shoes are ridiculous. Pristine white soles.

I garden in muck boots. Or old tennis shoes, that are completely filthy.

[appleannie1943]

72. Oh look, designer rubber gloves in matching colors. The lastest gardening fashion.

[bitterross]

76. They haven't paved over Obama's garden?

That's a surprise.

[Solly Mack]

77. That's pathetic.

Simply pathetic.

[spooky3]

78. This beats the Paul Ryan dishwasher in a soup kitchen photo.

[Ohiogal]

86. Ryan did that in my area at a soup kitchen.

What another laughable poser!

[Botany]

79. update ... picture from Sept. 2017

Her shirt cost $1,380

https://www.businessinsider.com/melania-trump-gardening-outfit-2017-9

Net-A-Porter is selling the shirt for $1,380

[Vinca]

81. OMG - I know I'm a simple rube, but how on earth can that shirt be any better

than a garden variety shirt from something like the L.L. Bean catalog? I don't get it. I really don't get it.

[Botany]

82. You mean like the L.L. Bean heavy duty flannel that I had for 20 years and my now adult ....

... son kept "borrowing it" that I gave it to him 4 years ago and it will last another
20 years.

[kpete]

83. Thanks for the update on the photo date too

https://www.businessinsider.com/melania-trump-gardening-outfit-2017-9

[Botany]

84. It still is an unreal pix

A flannel shirt in DC in the summertime to garden?

[FSogol]

80. The back of her blouse reads, "I really don't garden, do you?"

[Ohiogal]

87. LOL

[bigtree]

89. you're killing me

...

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

93. She's not gardening... she's stealing the basket

this is from security cam.