Trump Pardons Benedict Arnold: "Collusion is not a Crime".
Washington (Sarcastic News Agency) : United States President* Donald Trump today announced that the late Colonial General, Benedict Arnold, will be pardoned for his charge of treason against the United States in the Revolutionary War.
Stating that "General Arnold, the hero of the battle of Saratoga, was unjustly charged with treason by the Colonial Deep State", headed by then General George Washington. General Arnold may have communicated with the British Army of King George, but those communications should never had been intercepted, and that act, in and of itself, nullifies any crime committed after that fact. In addition, Trump says, "at worst, General Arnold may have colluded with the British, but as we all know, collusion is not a crime."
The President's actions come as a great relief to Benedict Arnold's relatives. "My great, great Uncle Benedict did what he thought best for his country", his great, great nephew, Horatio Arnold, stated in a press release from London. "Our Country thanks Mr. Trump for his courageous and humanitarian gesture. I'm sure this action will bring our countries closer together,", said British Prime Minister Teresa May before Parliament this morning.