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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsAlex Jones Warns Fans Quitting His Supplements Cold Turkey Can Lead To Homosexuality, Judaism
AUSTIN, TXCautioning against the devastating effects of abandoning the daily regimen of essential vitamins and minerals, radio host Alex Jones warned his fans Tuesday that quitting his supplements cold turkey could lead to homosexuality and Judaism. Folks, if you miss even one day of your Anthroplex or Survival Shield X-2, youre immediately going to start feeling Jewish, gay, or worse, said the beleaguered InfoWars founder and staunch male virility advocate, emphasizing to his loyal followers that if their bodies were deprived of certain vital testosterone-enhancing products, dangerous symptoms of Deep Stateadjacent illnesses could manifest just 72 hours after ones last dosage. Remember, your body requires these supplements in order to function properly. Without them, it will begin to completely shut downthe globalist levels in your bloodstream will shoot up, your tolerance for other people will skyrocket, and soon youll be attending a trans visibility march with a college-educated platonic female friend before lighting a menorah to kick off a gay orgy at Barack Obamas house. Jones added that anyone who did not take the supplements regularly would be better off with the mercy of a quick death by drinking an 8-ounce glass of fluoridated water
https://www.theonion.com/alex-jones-warns-fans-quitting-his-supplements-cold-tur-1828158237?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=&utm_term=
Va Lefty
(6,252 posts)No matter what kind of crazy crap they make up, his real "theories" are crazier.
"Jones added that anyone who did not take the supplements regularly would be better off with the mercy of a quick death by drinking an 8-ounce glass of fluoridated water."
bearsfootball516
(6,377 posts)gratuitous
(82,849 posts)I was ready to use it against some Jones-huffing trolls when I saw it was The Onion.
Initech
(100,076 posts)cloudbase
(5,514 posts)braddy
(3,585 posts)supplements, for some that may be a more painful adaption than having to get used to gay sex, at least temporarily.