Well, it was bound to happen.....

[Adrahil]

So my Trumpster in-laws come to visit for the weekend. Everything goes fine Saturday. But by Sunday, they just couldn't help themselves. The picked a political fight with me.

I BEGGED them to not talk politics.

I TOLD them that if we had this conversations, I would say things that hurt their feelings.

They kept pushing and I told them what I thought. They were kind of stunned, and the conversation ended. They kind of pretended that nothing had happened, and we made it through the evening.

But Monday.... while I saw upstairs at work (I work form home), I hear all hell breaking lose downstairs. They picked a political fight with my wife. And she didn't hold back. It ended with her asking them to leave right then. She later regretted it (for our daughter's sake) and she withdrew the request, but they left anyway.

What a mess. I fucking hate Trump.

[lapfog_1]

1. the divider in chief

[berni_mccoy]

2. It doesn't take cages to separate families...

[nolabear]

25. That could be a commercial.

Families divided by hateful rhetoric, by fear and bigotry toward minorities of all kinds, abortion rights issues, economic woes due to tariffs and deportations...it would be powerful.

[Bradshaw3]

3. Unfortunately this is America today

Luckily I don't have relatives or friends who are drumpsters and I got rid of my FB friends who are. But it's changed how I relate to people otherwise, like at the dog park and other places where if they wear a MAGAT hat or express their sick views I avoid them, and anyone who looks like they might be one. In the past I would never have thought about somebody's political views but now it's like I'm on high alert all the time and it is sickening to me to be that way and that millions of relationships have been ruined because people like your relatives believe this POS and have their false, unhinged perspective.

Sorry you have to go through that. From anecdotal evidence I've seen it's just not enough for them to have these views, they feel emboldened to push them on others. But when you're in a cult headed by a bully, that's how they behave.

[skylucy]

33. Bradshaw3...You have expressed exactly how I feel.

[Bradshaw3]

37. Thank you. Just hope the fever breaks one day

Don't know if it ever will but it is a cancer on our society and democracy.

[LuckyLib]

43. "Cult" is the operative word here.

So many people don’t get it.

[Bradshaw3]

44. That is so true

Even some here on DU don't think it is a cult.

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. I avoid talking politics with the conservatives in our family, too. Sorry

your family is going through this!

[fleur-de-lisa]

5. I know you and your wife are upset about the uproar

but this is what needs to happen to anyone who still supports the traitor-mobster after everything that has been revealed.

Shitler supporters need to be ejected, shunned, and cast aside.

Any of them who will admit their huge error in judgement can be welcomed back, but until then, GET THE F*CK OUT.

[Adrahil]

13. If it wasn't for our daughter...

It wouldn't be a big deal.

Also, they are getting very old and my wife feels she has a duty to look after them.

[Hortensis]

36. Perhaps it will be a bit of a wakeup for them.

Enough, in any case, to make them want to avoid bringing up politics.

Sorry. Hope your shared love for your daughter opens up communication again fairly soon.

[Adrahil]

40. Me too. THANK YOU!! NT

[Mariana]

45. You BEGGED them not to discuss politics.

Honestly, most people, even most Republicans, have better manners than that. You and your wife are under no obligation to permit guests in your home to be openly rude and disrespectful to you.

[lark]

6. I feel for you.

I'm going to Texas for a family reunion in Oct. Most, maybe all, my relatives there will be Trumpers. i haven't seen a lot of them in 30 years (it's a huge family), but they were certainly rednecks and Repugs back in the day and I bet they've gone even more rw, especially the ranchers and farmers (4 of the families). My sister is a moderate Dem and she's very worried about me getting into a big fight with moms' family. I promised her I'd spend as much of of my time as possible with my 2 oldest aunts who are very sweet and are closest to our family and try to avoid the ranchers and farmers as much as I could. I dearly love my 2 aunts so will do my utmost not bite my tongue and not fight the utter ignorance I expect to find.

[pangaia]

7. Ya know. Maybe don't necessarily blame trump. Maybe blame your in-laws for being so fucking stupid.

With all respect to your wife and some to your in-laws..

[Adrahil]

12. Yeah....

You're not wrong about the in-laws. They are dyed-in-the-wool right wings nuts.

But until Trump, they just kept their mouths shut around us. He has them spun up and they just can't help themselves.

It's extremely frustrating.

[oasis]

8. Truckloads of sheepish apologies will come rolling out after Mueller's report. nt

[robbob]

21. I don't think they will believe mountains of evidence.

They will claim witch hunt, fake news, fake evidence, fake reality.

tRump really COULD shoot a man in the middle of 5th avenue (on live television), and not lose a single one of his die-hard supporters.

[Wounded Bear]

22. Sadly, I suspect that is wishful thinking on your part...

[BSdetect]

9. Its better to use flash cards with points written in short sentences

He lies more than anyone Documented proof.

He is a misogynist

Malignant narcissist

Play golf more than any other POTUS

Rips off tax payers for security charges in his golf clubs

Gets up at 10 am

Does no listen to full security briefing

Cheats on his wives even while pregnant

Cannot spell in his tweets

Steals from workers and tradespeople.

Does not read

Has no depth of knowledge or curiousity

Fights with allies

Spends more time at golf than being POTUS

Failed at all his businesses. Vodka, airline, casinos etc

Declares bankruptcy to avoid paying his debts

Is ignorant of nearly all laws

Writes his own medical reports

Bribes and threatens people.

He's a racist

He puts children in cages

Sides with dictators

Threatens violence against reporters

Starts trade wars

Does not know that tariffs are taxes

ETC

[sprinkleeninow]

10. 👍

💙🇺🇸🌊

[fleur-de-lisa]

14. Great list!

[Different Drummer]

30. Thanks for that list!

I've saved a copy of it and plan to trot it out should I ever get into a political "discussion" with my Redhat relatives--who, blessedly, I don't see very often.

[Persondem]

35. Great list ... i would add ...

Mocked the disabled

Attacked Gold Star families

Appointed idiots to cabinet position (Devos, Carson etc.)

Is Putin's pet

Incites violence at his rallies.

Belittled women on multiple occasions

Handed rich people and corporations a trillion $$+ in unnecessary welfare
and jacked the annual deficit up near a trillion $$

Endorsed a pedophile (Moore)

Said Nazis are "some nice people"

[SunSeeker]

41. Great list. I would just add sexual predator/pedophile.

I mean, the dude bragged about how wonderful it was being able to barge in on teen beauty contestants as they are changing in their dressing rooms.

And then there is this picture he purposely posed for and distributed:



And this...

[coeur_de_lion]

11. I definitely feel your pain

I have the luxury of avoiding trumper family members for a few months but not many do.

Hopefully it will get easier in a few months when Mueller is finished.

[northoftheborder]

15. I've lived in this red state nearly all my life.....

....but it never seemed to make much difference that some voted R, and others D; still friends - no one particularly talked much about politics except very casually - until NOW. It's like a cult: the TRUMPERS can do no wrong, and the rest are considered SPAWNS OF THE DEVIL. I have become silent and defensive amongst people I do not know well, and I hate having that attitude.
I don't like going shopping and socializing in the community knowing 9 out of 10 people would consider me beneath contempt, and I feel the same way about them. What have we come to???????

And if Trump is ousted in scandal and shame, will their attitudes change? I think not; will they become defensive and withdrawn, perhaps, keeping their ignorant attitudes silent? I wonder what the future brings in our society; this is a new era.

[Martin Eden]

24. " What have we come to??????? "

Divide and Conquer

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

This is not from the ground up. It is from the top down and/or from the outside in.

It is deliberate. We are experiencing the intended effect.


Who benefits from it?

[lpbk2713]

16. Looks like they brought their own Kool-Aid.

Too bad it had to end that way but they were at fault.

[Honeycombe8]

17. Trumpers can't help themselves. I've asked my Dad not to talk politics, but he's done it, anyway.

He & my stepmother are Trumpers.

[Trust Buster]

18. Has nothing to do with Don the Con.

Like some of my family members, it isn’t ideology that leads them to the right but, rather, their personalities. Right wingers are very insecure people with an inferiority complex. They look outward to find blame for their unhappiness because their fear of insecurity will not allow them to look internally for the source of their unhappiness. THEY MEANT TO PROVOKE YOU AND YOUR WIFE !!!! They know damn well that they have zero chance of altering your political opinion. You are the reason they are unhappy. You are the reason they had to leave. Their subconscious full of self loathing planned that episode. Don’t kid yourself.

[smirkymonkey]

38. This! Exactly.

There is something in the republican personality that they just can't help but go on the offensive at every opportunity. I usually find that most Dems/Liberals can control themselves in mixed company and it is almost ALWAYS the right-wingers who start antagonizing others and stirring up shit. They can't help themselves. It's like they are addicted to anger and hatred. They are the least self-actualized people on the planet. No self-awareness at all.

[Trust Buster]

42. They provoke because of their constant need for reaffirmation.

[dchill]

19. Are we supposed to let them win arguments with damn lies?

I don't engage unless it's unavoidable, but I've already lost a few so calleds.

[tiredtoo]

20. Would be interesting to see how they feel/think about this situation

I can see you are upset. Do they feel the same?

[hibbing]

23. They just have to shove it in your face n/t

[dhol82]

26. Thank goodness your wife stood by you

Sad that they left but wonderful that you have solidarity at home.

[SunSeeker]

27. Fuck them. Your daughter should not be around that hate anyway. nt

[NastyRiffraff]

28. I've lost a couple of friends over Trump

Luckily, no family. It's painful.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

29. You asked them not to discuss politics,

and they did anyway.

They deserved whatever you and your wife said to them.

And don't even think about helping them out as their health declines, because they wouldn't help anyone else, so you need to let them understand that what goes around comes around. Or you reap what you sow. Or whatever saying seems most appropriate.

[phylny]

46. I'm in this very situation with my 93-year-old father-in-law.

For YEARS I have told him not to send me his anti-Democratic, anti-Obama, anti-liberal crap. Nasty stuff. Oh, it's a joke hahaha. No. Nasty. Told him time and time again. About six months ago, he sent me an email (they usually go straight to trash) asking where my husband was. Conveniently, he also tacked on a "joke" about how when God made Democrats, he made them jackasses, blah blah blah. That was the last straw.

I sent an email back to him and said, "Your son will be back home tomorrow. I have told you many times to resist the urge to send this garbage to me. You seem either unwilling or unable to control yourself. Did you think that I would enjoy this? That somehow I would find it funny? Stop."

He called the house phone, called my cellphone, sent emails. I've refused to talk to him since. I feel badly because after all, he is my father-in-law and he is 93, but I just can't bring myself to reach out anymore.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

51. It's the only thing you can do.

And it's the right thing.

[onlyadream]

31. Oh man, my trump loving in laws are coming this weekend

Only for dinner, tho. Hopefully we can hold back, although my hubby loves to pick political fights with them.

[vlyons]

32. We are greatly challenged to be kind-hearted towards the Trumpsters

It is so very difficult to avoid the tit-for-tat arguments with them, when they say stupid things. Things that we know are just blatantly ignorant and frequently bigoted and mean-spirited. Your in-laws could have chosen to abide by the house rules of no political discussions, but nooooo, their egos were just too large. They just had to show you that they are right, and you are wrong. Theirs is a very black and white world. They were very rude to you in your own home. I have learned the hard way that it is fruitless to argue with trumpsters. They simply cannot control themselves. Can't control their angry minds, or exert enough self-discipline to refrain from spewing their stupid speech, even when I've clearly stated that I'm not going to argue.

I decided long ago that I am better than that. There are several tactics that work for me. 1. Simply say I'm not in the mood to argue politics and then walk out of the room. That's what I do, when I'm very angry and close to loosing my cool. 2. Is to simply listen to what they have to say. At the end, say, "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?" And at the end to say, "Thank-you for sharing that." Doesn't mean that I agree or disagree. Just lets them know that they have been heard, which is really what they want in the first place.

If they ask me how I voted, I tell them that I voted on a secret ballot.

[Zoonart]

34. WOW...Deja vu......

Had this exact same experience when my parents came to visit me during the W admin.
Saturday was fine, but Sunday morning my husband had the timerity to bring a NY Times back with the bagels and we were off to the races. Giant screaming match followed by a hasty departure. We made up at Christmas.
They are both gone now...can't imagine how we would have maintained through this nightmare.
Hope it works out. Blood is thicker than water.

[bluestarone]

39. Sorry for your situation BUT

You know what, seems like it's ALWAYS RUMP TYPES that want to get into political discussions!! YOU tried to avoid this!! THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK!! I say GOOD FOR YOU and YOUR WIFE!! What a world RUMP is creating!!!

[Xolodno]

47. They dropped it with you...

Because they look pretty bad purposely picking a fight with you in front of your wife.

But thought they could influence their daughter "to set you right". They were probably pretty pissed she didn't be a good obedient daughter and come to her senses and embrace Trump. So it got heated, like all parent to child relationships when the parents discover, the good "child" they raised no longer shares their "values".

They are probably blaming you for "poisoning her mind".

Where it goes from there....who can say. They could be writing you and your wife out of the will to planning to have your daughter over more to "fix what went wrong" to hoping you both come to your senses.

But as for themselves being wrong...pretty sure that thought will never enter their mind.

[Adrahil]

48. ...

My wife wasn't there when they picked the fight with me. But you are absolutely right that they hoped to show my daughter she was just naively parroting what her parents say.

Unfortunately for them, my 16-year-old is a smart cookie interested in politics. We surely influence her opinions, but she knows why she believes what she believes. It was a joy to watch her dismantle their "all lives matter" bullshit without any need for me to say a thing.

[Xolodno]

49. So in their view...

...you are "poisoning their grand daughter" as well. I suspect you'll be treated a bit more coldly at other family events. Just the way it is.

Either way, wife there or not, any fight with you would look bad on them. So...they dropped to "reason" with their daughter.

Had a huge blow up with an aunt of mine sometime back. It wasn't over politics but a shit load of other things, such as trying to get me to lobby my father to reverse severing his share of my grandfather's house in inheritance via family trust...grandfather was still alive, and the house was in joint tenancy for tax purposes...trying to guilt me via email while my dad was on his death bed, etc.

Long story short, a snide remark on facebook about politics...after I warned her, repeatedly, not to go there...set me off. So I made sure the whole family knew what she did via facebook. And that was it.

Some time later, talked to a friend of mine, he does some business with her. According to him, she stated I disowned her. By that time, I had taken inventory of the situation a bit. And replied that I did not disown her, she would still be welcome in my home. However, she disowned me, I just finally acknowledged it.

[Adrahil]

52. Not sure how this one is going to play out.

When my wife unloaded on them, she really unloaded.

She feels a little guilty about it, but she also feels they deserved it (they did) and she kind of doesn't want to see them right now. We normally visit them at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not sure that's happening. We'll see. To be honest, once Trump was elected, I could see this coming. They hated Obama but mostly kept it to themselves. Trump's BS seems to make them feel entitled to spout their bullshit.

[steve2470]

50. So sorry to hear this, but you did ask them and warned them

Hopefully next time you see them, they will remember what happened, and just keep their politics to themselves. I am quite confident if you visited their home, you would not bring up politics.