forgotmylogin's Fox News recap from 6:27pm - Hilarious

[underpants]

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=11029196




4. I just flipped to Fox News. THEY ARE ON THE STORY...

...of flooding in Wisconsin. Well, that's important!

Back from commercial break, let's see what they lead with...

NEWS ALERT!! HERE IT COMES!

They've found the body of the missing college student. ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CHARGED IN STUDENT MURDER.

That's important too, I guess.

ANOTHER ALERT

CA Republican somebody Hunter implicated for something...

War crimes suspect deported...

Talks on Afghanistan. Iran showing off a fighter jet...

South Korean families reunited with North Koreans...

ANOTHER COMMERCIAL?

And they're back...ANOTHER ALERT

Coal regulation rollback...Trump is having a rally. "We've ended the war on beautiful clean coal..."

Coal Comeback? Trump Proposal Guts Obama-Era Plan (Wrinkly picture of Obama with mouth open turning his head.) Democrats vow to fight "Dirty Power Plan".

They're ONSITE AT THE TRUMP RALLY

The Dow rose 63...



Catholic Priest "misconduct" allegations...

Boy, I've never seen subjects move so fast. It's like they loaded the teleprompter backward. This has the feel of local news's last 20 minutes when they're trying to fill with stories about adopting puppies and the bake sale at the high school...

Russian Hackers! Microsoft claims hackers targeted conservative groups! (Hudson Group logo with moving crosshairs over it which settle on the middle...) "Democrats fearful of repeat of 2016" Rubio claims Russia wants to weaken us. (Map of United States behind reporter is all blue...)

Okay, they promise to talk about Cohen after ANOTHER COMMERCIAL. Cable Guide says there are 21 minutes left in the "Special Report with Brett Baier" hour. God, do they always do this many commercials?

Back SPECIAL REPORT: Cohen pleads guilty..."Does Muller have more power today?" "Absolutely!" Rudy's Statement "lies and dishonesty blah blah blah". Ooh, they got the E&C of the "Washington Free Beacon"!

Enquirer...McDougal Headshot. AP Reporter - I think the one on the plane whom DJT told to "ask his lawyer".

"Only way to attack DJT is on his own 'reality show' terms." "We're in month 15 of the investigation and still we have no collusion!" "Only illegal because they've decided to call it a campaign finance violation." "Why are people looking at jail time when most finance violations just get a fine?"

And commercial again, damn. That was some hard-hitting journalism with nerf bats and pool noodles...

[Scurrilous]

1. Thanks!