General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhite Man Hopes to Land Job Without Background Check
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)A fifty-three-year-old white man from Washington, D.C., is hoping to land a six-figure job for life without being subjected to a thorough background check, the man confirmed on Tuesday.
The man, Brett Kavanaugh, said that he was pretty chill about his upcoming job interview because he had been assured that anything super damaging had been removed from his H.R. file.
Theres some stuff in my pastespecially, like, from the ninetiesthat would be kind of heinous if anyone looked into it, Kavanaugh said. Fortunately, I know someone in H.R. and he took, like, a hundred thousand pages out of my file.
The Washington native said that he had been assured that his job interview would be led by a group of other white men who wont ask me anything too hard.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/white-man-hopes-to-land-job-without-background-check?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20090418&CNDID=25394153&utm_source=Silverpop&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Borowitz%20090418&utm_content=&spMailingID=14185346&spUserID=MTMzMTgyNjg0NzM5S0&spJobID=1480276104&spReportId=MTQ4MDI3NjEwNAS2
unblock
(52,331 posts)Too close to the truth....
Dave Starsky
(5,914 posts)Normally, I would find this hilarious. But I just can't take it anymore. Satire is dead, and this cadre of goblins in control of our government has killed it.
unblock
(52,331 posts)the onion still manages somehow, but it's increasingly difficult these days....
erronis
(15,355 posts)Couldn't figure out how to end my subject line without this ever-truthful statement.
Gothmog
(145,619 posts)dalton99a
(81,599 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)Satire is starting to more or less be true.
Honeycombe8
(37,648 posts)calimary
(81,511 posts)Shoonra
(523 posts)It may not be Kavanaugh's fault that the Trump White House is holding back (or claiming to be holding back) about 2 tons of paper on him. And that the Democrats are making him dangle in the wind while they fight over this - not withstanding that none of them actually intends to read all 2 tons of paper.
tblue37
(65,490 posts)was a responsible bipartisan choice. If he (or Gorsuch) had any decency, any character, they would refuse to accept such a tainted nomination for a stolen SCOTUS seat.
He is being dishonest, too, of course.
tblue37
(65,490 posts)important stuff.