Pssst, Spanky ...
There is no point in trying to figure out who among your staff is the author of the NYT op/ed – because the truth is, it was all of them.
The op/ed has been months in the making, and has been the cause of unprecedented in-fighting – each contributor vying for more of a voice in the final piece.
Ivanka and Don Jr. often got into vicious squabbles over whether you should be referred to as a “fucking moron” or simply “a clueless imbecile”, which in turn prompted other staffers to object to their taking credit for terms they themselves had originated and use frequently when your name comes up.
I know you are upset by what was published. But believe me, had you seen some of the earlier drafts, your head really would have exploded. Be thankful that cooler heads prevailed, and the final product was edited to remove comments about your pettiness, your childishness, your apparent mental instability, and your abject stupidity – often expressed in language that the NYT would never have printed.
The reason the op/ed writer was identified as “anonymous” is simply because everyone involved wanted top billing – so for the sake of peace among the many authors who contributed, it was agreed that they would share the credit by being identified collectively under that name.
Now that you know the truth, I hope you won’t be launching some “witch-hunt’ within your own administration in order to determine who will be the next person to be fired by tweet (which seems to be the only way you have the balls to fire anyone). It’s best to just move forward under the assumption that everyone IS out to get you, in keeping with the delusional paranoia you’ve been operating under all along.
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