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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsKurt Eichenwald (NYT) reveals he was raped as 20 year old, urges support for Dr Ford
Kurt Eichenwald ✔ @kurteichenwald (New York Times) 8:24 AM - Sep 20, 2018
1. It keeps being asked: Why would anyone wait decades to publicly disclose sexual assault?
I know why. I can write this cause I wrestled with disclosure in years of writing my book A Mind Unraveled. Rather than wait til October book release, as Dr. Ford is slammed, I tell now..
2
.I was raped in my twenties while incapacitated after an epileptic seizure. The injuries required me to seek medical attention at a hospital. The period in the emergency room was an emotional blur, of shutting down, of focusing on anything other than the attack
3
in the fantasy version invoked by no one ever attacked, I should have reported the crime to law enforcement. I could not imagine doing so. This was before DNA, I could not identify the perpetrator because of my state when the attack occurred, and I couldn't handle it
4
I wanted nothing more than to get out of the hospital, to make the whole experience go away. And I did an excellent job of burying the emotions for years. Even while seeing a psychologist, it took me forever to disclose. I just didnt want to feel the emotional pain
5...I didnt want to think about it at all. Because thinking meant feeling, and feeling terrified me. I told my wife around 2004 after 24 years of marriage and about 30 years after the attack. She could not have been more supportive. She urged me to get....
6...counseling to help me work through the emotions I had buried for so long. Again, it took me a long time to tell the counselor. When I was writing my book about my experiences living with intractable epilepsy, I wrestled with disclosing this publicly. I decided I couldnt
7
my wife convinced me, if I was going to write about myself, I had to tell the truth. The whole truth. She told me I had nothing to hide, no reason for shame. I cried, repeatedly, just thinking about writing about it, almost 35 years after it happened
8
I hoped to use my adult children as an excuse not to disclose. I told them what had happened, and asked if they would be embarrassed if I revealed it in my book. They all offered me endless support, and urged me to do so
.
9.
Perhaps the most stunning thing to me was that both my wife and my oldest son told me they knew long before I told. There was nothing I said that gave it away, but they both could tell I was keeping something terrible hidden
10
Even now, knowing that this assault will be disclosed in a few weeks in my book, I struggle with writing these tweets. Does it make sense to those who have never been through this? For many, no. Does it make sense to those who have? Almost certainly yes
11
this is not a political statement. I do not know what happened with Judge Kavenaugh. But I do know that Dr. Ford deserves her allegations to be investigated, that a sexual assaulter no matter how long he committed the act should never serve on the Supreme Court...
12...and that such a possibility is of such enormous consequence that it must be investigated. Attacking Dr. Ford - without investigating her allegations - for not publicly disclosing demonstrates a decided lack of empathy, a lack of understanding...
13... a selection of politics over humanity. If I knew who my assaulter was, if I knew I would be ripped to shreds by powerful people for politics, I would never disclose. knowing KNOWING that the politicians ready to pounce had no interest in finding out the truth, only...
13... a selection of politics over humanity. If I knew who my assaulter was, if I knew I would be ripped to shreds by powerful people for politics, I would never disclose. knowing KNOWING that the politicians ready to pounce had no interest in finding out the truth, only...
15...being communicated is that all sexual assault victims must immediate shove aside the emotional trauma, run to the police, or shut up forever. That is how child molestation occurs. That is how rapists get away with their crimes. That is how allegations of criminal activity...
16...go uninvestigated for political purposes. We are being told, even if we manage to navigate the agony to disclose, we will be attacked. The fraud being perpetrated by insisting that this must only be a he-said-she-said, that no other witnesses will be called, that nothing
17...is more important than rushing through confirmation, that this might not be investigated communicates a terrible message: our pain is inconsequential, our perpetrators had the right to violate us, and politicians consider victory more important than allegations of assault.
Link to tweet
Hekate
(90,744 posts)hlthe2b
(102,317 posts)trigger epileptic seizures with the GIFs they send to him via twitter and email. I guess all this goes under "what does not kill you (can) make(s) you stronger"
Kudos to your bravery, Kurt.
FM123
(10,054 posts)superpatriotman
(6,251 posts)Nothing less.
JohnnyLib2
(11,212 posts)What a courageous act.
PatSeg
(47,546 posts)Atticus
(15,124 posts)But, making such a disclosure in defense of another alleging a similar assault is another level of courageous. I stand in awe of both Dr. Ford and Mr. Eichenwald!
True Blue American
(17,988 posts)cp
(6,645 posts)May you come to full healing. Thank you.
How Brett Kavanaugh deals with Christine Blasey Ford's pain now is a measure of his character. (Spoiler: I'm not holding my breath.)
SallyHemmings
(1,822 posts)royable
(1,264 posts)14...wanted to set up an attack, only wanted to violate me all over again, meant I would never speak. Just as they hope Dr. Ford wont. If these allegations are treated as ho-hum, as a crime that happened decades ago, as unworthy of investigation, then the message...
iluvtennis
(19,864 posts)LAS14
(13,783 posts)nature-lover
(1,470 posts)nolabear
(41,988 posts)A woman is drunk or drugged. A man is having a seizure. A person is ill or disabled...and what comes to mind is RAPE???
It takes someone profoundly broken to do that. Id only trust them after years of admission, humility and actual reparation. And then only very cautiously.
We are so easily harmed. And so terribly brave.
Silver Gaia
(4,545 posts)Thank you, Mr. Eichenwald.
Solly Mack
(90,777 posts)K&R
blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)Good luck.
dchill
(38,511 posts)WheelWalker
(8,955 posts)MontanaMama
(23,333 posts)you endured, Mr. Eichenwald. Youre very brave. Your story, like most Ive heard this week slays me.
Ilsa
(61,695 posts)The link to the primary tweet is available, and you copied the rest of the content of his continuing tweets. Brava!
Very insightful posting by Kurt Eichenwald.
BigmanPigman
(51,614 posts)Adult women and men sexually assault boys and girls, young men and young women. Sex and age and profession do not matter. Teachers, priests, parents, bosses, etc. It is all about POWER! It isn't sex and that is the big issue. Any person in a position of power and authority over another is capable of abusing it. The memory and pain is with you forever.
MaryMagdaline
(6,855 posts)So glad he told. Sometimes we feel the creeps are winning.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)malaise
(269,103 posts)tblue37
(65,457 posts)forgotmylogin
(7,530 posts)At first, I thought he meant he was raped *in the hospital* while seeking treatment for a seizure...
BlueTsunami2018
(3,496 posts)I see it all over Facebook. These are people without an ounce of empathy or humanity.
betsuni
(25,562 posts)Cha
(297,403 posts)calimary
(81,365 posts)set off an epileptic seizure - as it did with him.
Undoubtedly some Russian troll or trump dirty trickster. Nothing any republi-CONS have ever indulged in, 'eh? They're as clean as a whistle in that department, 'eh? COUGH! Roger Stone COUGH! kkkarl rove COUGH! Lee Atwater COUGH COUGH!!!!
Haggis for Breakfast
(6,831 posts)work for years, always found him to be courageous, often willing to take a stand that he knew would have the RWers head's exploding and foaming at the mouth.
But . . . this . . . I am speechless.
Kurt, I hope you find peace on your terms.
SunSeeker
(51,580 posts)Nitram
(22,840 posts)jimlup
(7,968 posts)As a male it is important for those of us who have suffered to stand up.