Carl Hiaasen: 'Hey, don't judge me! I just really, really like beer! Really!"

[demmiblue]

(Rejected first and only draft of a statement by future Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh seeking to clarify his position on beer.)

Mr. Chairman and members of the committee,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to come back and follow up on certain remarks I made during my earlier testimony. In particular, I want to focus on my relationship with beer.

As I stated repeatedly the last time I sat before you, I liked beer when I was in college, and I like beer now. To be more specific — domestics, German imports and some of the local craft ales.

However, after reviewing the transcript of my previous comments — and also the reaction of several late-night talk-show hosts — I understand why some people might have gotten the impression that I like beer a little too much.

I’m here today to reassure the committee members — and the nation — that beer does not play an outsized role in my social or professional life. Nor was I under its frothy, soothing spell back when I was a student at Georgetown Prep and Yale.

https://www.sacbee.com/opinion/article219551750.html

[RHMerriman]

1. Hizzoner, Justice Jimmy Buffet...

although Jimmy would at least acknowledge it was his own damn fault.

[The Blue Flower]

2. Very glad to see that Carl's writing again after the tragic loss of his brother

Welcome back, Carl Hiassen!

[Brother Buzz]

3. I'm glad to see that Carl writing again, too

But I sensed his work slowed down to a dribble long before his brother died. A couple of years ago, scarcely a week passed without seeing something by him, then he sort of mysteriously fell off the radar.

[dameatball]

4. Carl has been spreading the word about Florida's ecological damages for decades.

Somehow he made us laugh while he did it. But not enough people cared. Money talks.