"Mexico, time to cough it up!" . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump!!!

[skip fox]

PresiDented Donald ("I told you Mexico would pay for it!" ) Trump is saying: "I'm here to announce this morning that Mexico will be sending us 8 billion dollars for construction of a wall. . . . People said it was crazy, but I did it! . . . And just to get ahead of the Fake News, let me say that the bill I'm sponsoring to send Mexico 20 billion dollars in foreign aid has nothing to do with it."

[Johonny]

1. We need a wall, a beautiful wall. Illegals are streaming over our southern border like sand through

and hour glass. These are the days of our lives. They are using vehicles, tremendous vehicles. Think Road Warrior. Not the new chick one. Terrible movie. The Mel Gibson one. Good movie. You know the one with the hot punk chicks dressed like they were going to a 70s Yacht sex party. Love that movie. Why don't we have 70s Yacht sex parties anymore? Jerry Jones has a new Yacht, did you see that, did you see. The lying liberal fake news won't tell you about that. Cost more than the Cowboys. More than the Cowboys. A lot more. A lot. A YUGE amount. Yuge. Where'd he get that money? Where? Tax cut. All the 70s sex party yacht builders got new Trump jobs now. Why? Me. I'm great. Making jobs. So many jobs. Like you couldn't believe. A virtual Forrest of new tax cut jobs. When I think of the people I've met that have been murdered by illegals, I always think, always, that that person, the dead one, who was murdered, they could have been at a 70s sex yacht party if only not for Chuck and Nancy. We need a wall. A thirty foot transparent concrete wall made of steel with solar panels. Nothing else works. If we don't then their incredible vehicles will kill us. Like Killdozer almost did. Good movie. Illegals will completely and totally kill us all. Mostly the white men in the box shaped states, but all of us others too. Thanks you. Out.

[skip fox]

2. D.T. continues:

“I know all about the Marines who cut through the wall with a steel saw from Home Depot. . . . When I said an impermeable wall, I didn’t mean impermeable to tools. . . . Everybody knows Mexicans won’t be carrying tools through the desert. . . . And if they did, . . . Well, Mexicans don’t know how to use them anyway.”

[Johonny]

3. But if you do know a Mexican that knows how to use tools. There's a clogged sink in the White House

and apparently no one here can fix it. The regular guys here are not coming to work for some reason. Who knows? Anyway, could I have his number? Asking for a friend.