Toon: Jesus at the GOP Convention

[n2doc]

[DesertRat]

1. Spot on

[amerciti001]

2. Just imagine if...

Jesus was to walk into a so-called Christian Church and proclaim his return, he'll be plummeted with bibles and thing else these good Christians can get there hands... to get him out of there, if not "forcibly" ushered out of the building.
These so-called Christians.

[JHB]

12. They also assume he'd appear as a white American...

...when he didn't exactly show up as a scion of Imperial Rome, back in the day.

[ryan_cats]

19. How many Churches have you been in?

How many Churches have you been in? Saying so-called Christian Church makes it obvious you don't know what you're talking about.

If Jesus walked in my Church, there would be jubilation. I believe the word you were looking for is pummeled, not plummeted.

I like how I'm supposed to respect everyone else's view but people can say whatever you want about Christians.

[Wednesdays]

20. YMMV, as they say

Chances are, Jesus would be celebrated at my church, too. But that hardly negates the OP nor the comments here. There are far too many Christians who'd rather worship money, and they're among the most vocal devotees. Even just one church with that attitude is one too many.

[chknltl]

31. +1 from an atheist

[Xyzse]

41. They do worship money rather than Jesus

My foremost complaint about a lot of the Evangelical Churches I've been in to is their focus on getting money from their congregation to spread even more.

Basically, it is taking from the backs of their followers so that their leaders could have more money to open up another franchise elsewhere. That is, rather than actually doing anything truly charitable, since that is superseded by their message of donating to the church.

[xxqqqzme]

34. Nah, some freak of nature

would pull out his concealed automatic and cut him down on the spot

[jerseyjack]

3. Read the Lenny Bruce treatment of Jesus deciding to come to Earth..

enters St. Patrick's Cathedral with lepers...

Cardinal Spellman: "Hey guys, please don't touch anything.:

Sheen on the telephone to Rome: " Why's he here. We sent you the check two weeks ago.?"

--and so forth.

"The Essential Lenny Bruce"

[Zen Democrat]

4. Reminds me of the late, great Bill Hicks's comment about the return of Jesus.

"When Jesus comes back, do you think he wants to see another cross?" He likened Christians wearing crosses to people wearing little rifle pins after the assassination of JFK. "Just thinking of Jack."

[arikara]

17. Too true!

I hate those cross icons, especially the ones with the tormented body hanging off them. That is hardly a symbol of love.

[Rainngirl]

26. That really freaks me out!

It's why I can't go into Christian that have a big Jesus full of bleeding holes on the cross. It's terrifying!

[Dont call me Shirley]

24. You said it! Like Jesus would want to see the weapon that killed him everywhere he looks!

[Berlum]

5. The Repubbies would shit bricks if Jesus ever did appear and held them to account

...for their rank hypocrisy. Republcians are so far OFF MESSAGE....

[HopeHoops]

6. I should dress like that and infiltrate the convention.

I've got long hair, a beard, am a caucazoid, and have a tan. All I need is a robe and sandals. I would have to leave my glasses at home.

Um, any offers to bail me out?

[Fumesucker]

7. Caucazoid?

Is that anything like a Freakzoid?

[HopeHoops]

8. Not sure. Just a term I've been using since high school in the late 70's.

[JHB]

11. Just the "runs around in underwear" part

[TalkingDog]

23. Except for the misspelling, a legitimate term. Caucasoid

used to denote the general physical type of some or all of the populations of Europe

BTW Loved Freakazoid.

[WinstonSmith4740]

14. OMG!!

You've got to do this, dude! Carry a flip sign so you can change quotes. Make sure you include the sheep and the goats, along with public prayer. I'd LOVE to see those hypocrites have Christ arrested & escorted out by the roman guards. Seriously. You should do this. I'm sure we could raise the bail, but I'd be willing to bet that money would start coming in as soon as you hit the news!

[HopeHoops]

15. I'll consider it, but I'm not sure my back could take the drive.

[DebJ]

32. Jesus didn't pray in public; and condemned those who did (Pharisees aka some right wingers I know.)

[amerciti001]

44. Just ride in on a donkey(or Ass, for the hypocrites) N\T

[6502]

35. Holy crap! That's BRILLIANT!!!

We need to gather bunches of you long-haird Jesus-looking white fellows together and totally do this like a massive swarm operation.

Here's how I invision it:

* Gather about 100-200 LHJLWF (long-haird Jesus-looking white fellows)
* Gather another 1000 for support crews.
* Gather a crew of wardrobe and make-up folks to make sure the look is Bible-book perfect!
* Every LHJLWF gets a wireless mic.
* Get the garb done up so that it is covered by common everyday clothes of various types appropriate for the Republican convention.
* Have the 100-200 LHJLWF enter the convention and spread out with their support crews.
* One-by-one have each Jesus reveal himself with the support crew providing first the distraction so people do not see the transformation so that Jesus just seems to appear out of nowhere.
* The support crew now behaves as if they are witnessing the real Christ so as to get the crowd to react.
* Support crews using wireless speakers to help boom the message of the Jesus.
* Security sweeps in and carries off the Jesus as the support crew dissipates.
* Pause just long enough for a slight lul....
* Then at the opposite end of the auditorium another Jesus appears to continue the message.
* And this repeats 100-200 times.


Of course, Jesus's message would include chiding them for having forsaken his message of love and charity to the sick and poor and such.
We need quick advice from progressive clergy as to what they think Jesus would say if he really appeared at the GOP convention so as to have words that would stab at the heart of anyone who is Christian or not.

Right as its happening have like every DU member and their friends tweet and retweet the event with links and pics and videos livestreaming to all of the media and everyone.

Ooo... I'd put money on this plan.
Need some people with legal backgrounds and contact with the ACLU to make sure we can bail out all of the Jesuses.

[HopeHoops]

37. I love it!

[Arkansas Granny]

9. This is oh, so true!

[uponit7771]

10. +1

[AngryOldDem]

13. GREAT cartoon.

I'd like to see a poll of Republicans that measures how much they agree with what He actually taught.

If Christ came back today He would be crucified by the very people who claim to love and follow Him the most.

K&R.

[hifiguy]

16. If he were to appear at the hatefest,

they'd have him crucified again by the second night of the convention. Make book on it.

[RagAss]

22. Upside down !

[CrispyQ]

18. Oh, Horsey...

I you!

k&r

[MNBrewer]

21. Matthew 25:31-46

[magnifisense]

25. Yes!

KICK

[BrainGlutton23]

27. Acts 4

32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all 34 that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.

[6502]

36. OMG... they'd kill him just for Acts 4:32, alone.

[caraher]

28. My RW brother's response:

"Ha! Hilarious (and I mean that). That said, giving all that one has to the poor through a proxy (Government) is not what Jesus was looking for and doesn't achieve the purpose. I wouldn't expect a left wing political cartoonist to be smart enough to miss that not so subtle nuance."

My reply: who in the cartoon said anything about the government?

[abelenkpe]

29. So twisted. Nt

[hifiguy]

30. Ask your brother this

If all those good christians out there were doing their duty, why has poverty persisted at such unconscionable levels for the last two millennia? Hmmm?

The christians must have been falling down on the job pretty badly; things got so awful the government had to step in to prevent mass starvation.

Dolt.

[raouldukelives]

42. Of course spending trillions on the MIC & war for resources is cool with JC.

It makes sense Jesus would hate it if the US govt used that money on helping others instead. I know he wouldn't encourage politicians to vote for legislation that benefited the least among us instead of continuing to support the Wall St death machine ravaging his homeland.
Torture, lots of dead people, mass destruction for money = Good.
Health care, feeding the poor, education = Bad.
Sounds like a Jesus loving platform to me.

[DFW]

33. Unless he attended Berlitz and saw Michael Jackson's dermatologist

Jesus in his mid-thirties would be just another swarthy, black-haired Middle-Easterner, and he'd be speaking his own native Aramaic.

As a southerner, I know full well what my fellow southerners would expect of a second coming: a Scandinavian-looking, well-washed, (selectively!) bible-quoting messiah who would praise the wealthy, the falsely pious, and the cruel enforcers of what their own version of "God's (i.e. their) will" is that week.

[backscatter712]

40. Oh, you're not talking about Jesus, you're talking about Jeezus

http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly050504.htm

[DFW]

43. Couldn't have put it better myself! n/t

[oregonMakr]

38. K & R

[backscatter712]

39. If I were Him, I'd be overturning tables and whipping the moneychangers while I was there...

Remember the one and only one incident when Jesus became violent...