Sometimes I don't like myself.

[LuckyCharms]

I work hard to "turn the other cheek". I try to avoid any public confrontation, because usually no one wins in those types of situations. I am a defensive driver and I give other drivers a wide berth because I realize that there are a lot of aggressive idiots on the road and I will never be able to change that, so I just give other drivers a lot of room when I see they are driving like jerks.

To boil this all down...I try not to engage with angry people, and I pride myself on the fact that I usually succeed in this.

I was in a horrible mood when I left my house yesterday. Everything I touched yesterday morning turned to shit. I was unable to do anything right. I had a ton of errands to run, with the first being making a payment at an ATM. I pulled up to the ATM and began pushing the buttons to make my payment. Out of habit, I checked my rear view mirror to see if anyone was behind me. I do this because I make sure to drive away from the ATM immediately after my transaction is finished, so I don't make someone else wait. I don't worry about putting receipts, etc. in my wallet until I stop at a red light or something.

So I checked the mirror when I started at the ATM. Good, no one was behind me. My credit union is growing very quickly, and as a result, they are making changes to their systems that unfortunately are not very customer friendly. An ATM transaction now takes a long time because you have to push so many buttons. As I am doing my transaction, I'm glancing in my mirror every few seconds. Good, still no one behind me. I glanced one last time, right before I completed the transaction, and there was still no one behind me, so I put my card and receipt into my wallet. This took less than 10 seconds. Probably something like seven seconds. Some guy must have pulled up behind me in between the the last time I checked my mirror and the time my transaction was completed. He was sitting behind me probably about 20 seconds or so.

I put my card back into my wallet and as I went to pull away, I see this guy sitting in his car behind me. He apparently didn't like the fact that I took the 7 seconds to put my card back into my wallet. If I knew he was there, I would have pulled away immediately, but the timing was such that I just missed seeing him in my mirror. He was only sitting there a few seconds, but I see him raising his hands palm up in a motion like..."what the fuck are you doing"? It took me a second to figure out what he was doing, but I could hear him yelling C'MON! C'MON! GO!

An adult more laid back than me would have just pulled away. But I sat there and watched this guy increasingly lose his shit. First the palm up hand gestures. Then the yelling, then he started flipping me off.

Here's what is going through my mind..." Every goddamn time I leave the house, someone fucks with me. This guy must be a Trumper. Look at this fucking asshole. Can't even wait a few seconds, like he's the only one on the planet. Motherfucker. Look at this piece of shit. He's fucking losing his mind. He's one of those assholes that has to get all up in everyone else's shit. Jesus Christ"

I turned my car off, and dangled my keys out the window to let him know that I did so. Then I took my seat belt off, got up on my knees in the seat, stuck half my body out the window, and blew him a kiss. Then I sat back down in my seat and didn't move. So he started laying on his horn. I just sat there and watched him explode through my rear view mirror. He finally gave up, backed his car up, and pulled up into the open ATM next to me.

My point in explaining all of this is as follows. I tell myself not to engage. I tell myself that you never know who is going to shoot you over a minor issue. I tell myself all of this, but there are still times when I do engage. These times are very infrequent...probably once every year. But no matter how much I tell myself these things, I still have those moments when I cast that all aside and say...fuck it, this guy is getting all up in my business. Here's another asshole that can't leave other people alone...fuck this guy. I think I got so indignant yesterday because I do my best to be patient and polite when out in public, and here is this asshole losing his mind because he has to wait a few seconds.

I've been beating myself up over this small incident, because I lost my self control. No, I didn't road rage at the guy, but still, I engaged. I don't like myself when I do that.

[TexasProgresive]

1. You're lucky he wasn't packing heat

Don't let them dictate how you act.

[safeinOhio]

2. I feel your pain.

Sound a lot like me. I'm retired and never in a hurry. I drive below the speed limit and above the minimum. When someone tailgates me, my reaction is to slow down in hopes they will go around me. Sometimes I put on my 4way hazard lights, that works. I figure if someone is going to rear end me, I want them going slower when they do.
I figure I'm the number one safe driver because so many folks hold up one finger to let me know I'm number one.
Can't be perfect. Just keep doing your best.

[Atticus]

3. It's called "catharsis" and we're all in need of one now and then. Reading your OP

made me smile because I recognized myself in your reaction to the self-important ass in line behind you.

[nolabear]

4. It's over. You're both fine. You know who you are.

I get that it’s not wise just in case he could be dangerous but it sounds like you’re not in the habit. You both have an “asshole at the ATM” story to tell. That’s all. If it makes you feel better take the momentum and do some random kindness for someone.

We all have our moments. You had one. Nothing more.

[Hav]

5. You are almost exactly like me

except I wouldn't have the guts to do what you did. I, too, try to avoid any conflict as best as I can. Like you, I also try not to cause waiting periods for people behind me. I've still been in situations like yours where you are confronted with irrational behaviour where the other person thinks he owns the place/street etc. You shouldn't beat yourself up over it because there are limits to one's patience. Especially when you try to go out of your way to compromise your own comfort for the people around you, you expect the same courtesy in return.
I'd be more worried that someone might really lose his cool, though.

[RKP5637]

6. Too many people on the edge around here to do that, I would be dead, shot in the back. n/t

[Phentex]

19. This is what I was going to say...

here you could be shot for doing this. People get shot for road rage, drive-through rage, line cutting, you name it. And sometimes they follow you home to shoot you.

Yeah, yeah be paranoid. Or just be shot.

[RKP5637]

23. Yep! No way would I do this. Some of these guys here would rear end your car right there, back up

and drive away. ... more likely you would get shot. One guy shot people in a car at a gas station because their radio was too loud and it pissed him off. He's in jail now for murder.

[Blue_true]

39. Plus.

Some of them drive around with those "I'm going to fuck shit up" bumpers on the front of their big trucks and they do not even seem to be cops, guess that is legal in Florida. I just don't tangle with them at all. The most dangerous object in my personal vehicle are my shades. Why enrage a nut who is likely already armed?

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

7. Been there...

Mrs and I are retired. We moved to a very small northern Michigan town to escape all that rage and drama. A traffic jam here is waiting for a car turn in front of you, hey sometimes people take their sweet time.

When we go downstate to visit family I can feel the anxiety grow, gotta stay really baked.

[Blue_true]

40. Are you on the peninsula? Yeah, it's pretty sparse up there. nt

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

43. In the Mitt... near the Huron National Forest...nt

[Akacia]

8. Interesting that he did not chose to use the other ATM to begin with.

It seems to me that when he saw you there, if he was in such a hurry, why did he decide to wait on you rather than going to the other window? I got screamed at once by some clown because he had to wait for me. I yelled back at him that I could not go any faster than the teller helping me. This was at my local credit union drive up window. Sometimes people amaze me by how they treat others.

[SharonClark]

9. He was at the ATM line, not a multi-window drive thru.

[Blue_true]

41. Near the end the OP said there was another open ATM in another lane.

Here in Florida some banks have those stacked one-lane ATMs, worst idea that I have seen for a while.

[True Blue American]

18. You know this is funny.

I went to a car wash, put my money in, nothing happened. I was the only one there so after waiting, nothing, i drove around. He came out yelling at me about what did I do?

I said, your machine did not work. He fixed whatever was wrong.

The second time he came out yelling at me. I wasn’t doing anything but putting my credit card in. Third time it was full. I think he was waiting on me, came out yelling again.

I went home, cooled down, went on Google. Typed in the name . Started with, the car wash is fine, wish i could say the same for the Attendant. I mentioned that I go to car washes all over the atea, including those with tracks, never have a problem.

A weel later I received a notice from Google saying my comments had helped 51 People.

I then gave a good review to a couple of places. I am now a neighborhood reviewer on Google.

Do not just sit quietly, ladies, speak up!

[LuckyCharms]

29. That's interesting you posted this!

About 20 minutes after this thing happened at the ATM, I went to the car wash. The lane to drive into the actual wash bay had a few signs that said "exact change only", so I knew the attendants did not have any cash to make change, especially since most people use their credit card. I didn't go into the car wash, but I did go into the self-serve vacuum because I didn't feel like dragging out my shop vac at home to do it.

I dropped $1.75 in and nothing happened. So I put another quarter in and nothing happened.

I went into the office and told him their machine ate $2.00. He apologized, said they were low on cash so they could not offer me a refund, but he did offer me a free car wash.

I gladly accepted. I was not expecting the attendant to be so accommodating.

[LuckyCharms]

25. There were 3 ATM's with a driving lane devoted to each one.

When I pulled up, two were busy, so I took the open one. I think what happened is...when that guy pulled in behind me, each lane was occupied, and he happened to choose the lane I was in. One of the other lanes must have opened up around the time he lost it, but he didn't feel like moving to the open lane.

[raccoon]

10. I know the Feeling. During my last days at work, this harpy at work

was talking in a hateful tone to me. And I snapped. Without thinking what I was going to do, I stormed up to where she was and we got into a verbal altercation. luckily a cool headed person was able to cool things off.

I detest that feeling, like I’m out of control and can’t control what I’m doing. I can understand how sometimes when people snap, And a gun is handy, bad things can happen that wouldn’t have happened if the gun hadn’t been there.

[Delphinus]

37. This past week

was a bear for me as well. I told my boss I seemed to be over-reacting to everything! May this week be better for all.

[USALiberal]

11. If that is the worse thing you did,, I think you are OK! Everyone makes mistakes at times. nt

[SharonClark]

12. I'm usually the frustrated one but then I take a breath and put myself

in the other person's place and realize they may be behaving that way for a reason.

If someone is frustrated with me while driving, I always give them a big smile and friendly wave as though they were a long lost friend. They may think I'm a duffus but it calms me down.

[ProudLib72]

13. I've been both people at different points

I always try to remember that. People are responsible for their own actions. If someone gets pissy, it's their problem, not mine. And it sounds like you are upset that you let yourself get pulled into the bad behavior. However, if it makes you fell any better, I wouldn't call what you did "bad behavior".

[Glamrock]

14. I like you just fine brother!

And as far as I'm concerned, what you did was awesome! Blowing a kiss? Only you luck, only you would come up with that. Priceless!

[Ohiogal]

15. Sometimes they just push your buttons beyond the snapping point.

I think you did just fine. But boy you gotta be careful nowadays, so many hot tempered idiots out there owning guns .... you just never know ....

[Scarsdale]

16. There was a time, long ago

when if the green arrow lit up and the first car did not move, I would honk my horn. Not anymore. I just patiently wait for them to notice. Sad that we have come to this, isn't it?

[FailureToCommunicate]

17. We all been there at times. DON'T PUSH ME 'CAUSE...I"M...CLOSE...TO...THE...EDGE...

[watoos]

20. It's tough man,

Like the sign on the church that I saw, If you think being meek is weak, try being meek for a week.

Sounds like you are fine the vast majority of time. The thing to remember though is, it wasn't that asshole behind you that upset you, you upset yourself.

I wrote a letter to my local newspaper yesterday explaining to them in not really nice terms why I wasn't renewing my subscription. I mentioned their adding a column by Ann Coulter. I was all set to personally hand deliver it to their office when I reconsidered. I like and worked with some of the reporters there. I like the local news and sports, I look at the obituary page to make sure my name isn't in it. I simply skip over the opinion page, ignore it.

Thanks for sharing your story though, it helps to get it off your chest. I live among Trumpers in central Pa. I learned it does no good to argue or debate with them, they are zombies.

[IronLionZion]

21. Some people are just assholes

tightly wound, impatient, no concern for anyone else. My city has a big problem with road rage and pedestrians on crosswalks have been run down by vehicles.

I don't like people crowding me at an atm because they could be trying to rob me. People have been robbed like that. As soon as the cash comes out, someone else grabs it and runs.

[LakeArenal]

22. Hey, see ya in hell... with the best of us!

All I will say about you personally:

Sometimes you feel like a nut. Most times you don’t.

If it makes it better, you made us feel better! Thanks.

[aikoaiko]

24. I dunno. Based on your posts this seems like you.

You do you if you don’t want to change.

[LuckyCharms]

26. I always do "do me".

For better or worse.

[Demovictory9]

27. People are nuts. I drove up to the postoffice drive up box, dropped my letters in immediately

before I could drive away the person behind me was honking. I could not have completed my dropoff any faster.

I too have slowed down when someone is acting unreasonable.

[saidsimplesimon]

28. As other posters have noted

"It's alright, but it's all wrong". The danger is a mad man or woman with a weapon in their car.

I have a big problem with standing down when confronted with a bully. I try (operative word) to control my desire to kick ass (at 125 lbs and over 70, I would be road kill).

[LuckyCharms]

30. Well, I have trouble standing down also.

I really have to try, like you do. I don't know...I've been through so much crap in the last 10 years or so, that's it's almost like I don't care about possibly getting hurt anymore. Do you know what I mean?

[lunatica]

31. I'm fine with what you did

because we all get tired of being pushed around, and sometimes it takes a stranger to make us stand up and fight back. I do the same thing you do. In parking lots where they’re full I get in the car and back out to let another car park then I do all the needed stuff like buckle my seat belt, put receipts away or whatever. I do what you do at ATMs. I hold doors open for someone who is close behind me. I help the elderly when they need it. I always say thank you to clerks and make sure to look them in the eyes and smile while doing it.

The reason I do it is to do my part to bring back what used to be the basic norms of politeness. In the process I’ve learned that most people respond in kind. All you have to do is to do it.

[Vinca]

32. Don't beat yourself up about it. We all snap every so often.

You really sound like me. LOL. 99.9% of the time I'm the sweetest lady on the planet, but watch out for that .1%. I haven't let loose in a long time. In fact, I think it went way back to right after election day 2016 when I learned a person I'm always friendly to voted for Trump. I actually screamed at the guy and it took me about 2 weeks to even acknowledge him after that. Still pisses me off, but I'm back to my usual cordial self. It'll come out again, I know. Sometimes you can't help it. Be careful of strangers though . . . guns, guns, guns.

[LuckyCharms]

34. I actually had to disown about a dozen of my first cousins.

I have an extremely large extended family.

I started getting these emails from them, right around the time Trump "won". (I was on their mailing list). I won't go into details, but suffice to say that it was the most horrid racist shit you can imagine. Really really bad stuff. I guess I found out who my cousins really were. I'll never speak to them again.

I think I might have blinders on concerning guns, simply because in my part of the country, you rarely hear about someone getting shot during an argument. I'm sure it happens, but I haven't noticed it.

[calimary]

33. Hey, you're only human. If you get through life smoothly

at least some of the time, then I figure you’re ahead of the game.

[Meowmee]

35. I think we all get irritated

and react at times. I go everywhere at odd hours for the most part so I don’t run into those situations very often. I would not do that again because you could encounter someone dangerous with weapons etc. I once had someone screaming and swearing at me as I walked to a store, I think he had been driving behind me and he was angry over something I did while driving maybe but I had no clue what happened. It was so bad I did call police who later came to my house. I had written his license plate down but I ended up not making a report. On another occasion a man who was angry at me because I pulled in front of him in stop and go traffic was hitting my car with his, I pulled over and he stayed behind me and got out of the car, came up to my window and I told him I was calling the police. He left and that time I filed a report, I had his license plate #.

[ecstatic]

36. Are you getting enough food and rest? That makes a huge

difference, at least for me, when it comes to maintaining self control. Don't beat yourself up. You've acknowledged what you did, now it's time to move on and be safe!

[Blue_true]

38. I never engage when in a vulnerable situation.

You never know what a person has in his or her vehicle. Ignore them and move on to your next task.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

42. don't do that again, please

You don't know what kind of day he was having, nor what was causing his hurry. It could've been the last day for you both. Not worth it.