Book Reports by Bill Barr. (Feel free to add your own!)

[Tommy_Carcetti]

1. Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens



"This book was about Gwyneth Paltrow and how everyone expected her to do great things! And did she ever! She acted in the movie A View from the Top!"



2. Moby Dick, by Herman Melville



"This book was about a well endowed whale who was also sort of an asshole."





3. A Farewell to Arms, by Ernest Hemingway



"This book was written by a well-known Santa Claus impersonator and appears to be about amputation, I think."



4. The Art of the Deal, by Donald Trump



"Hold on, let me make sure this is written right....oh, yes.....'The Art of the Deal is the greatest and most popular book every written, ever. The author of this book is one of the greatest geniuses to ever grace the business world, or the world in general. Note: Make sure you mention that last sentence, Bill.'"

[Hugin]

1. 5. The Encyclopedia Britannica.

"Fake news."

[TygrBright]

2. "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair

"A brutal expose of how selfish commie leftist immigrants oppress patriotic white American capitalists struggling to protect their sacred and Divinely-ordained profits."

Am I getting this right?

interestedly,
Bright

[Moostache]

3. The Starr Report versus the Mueller Report

Starr Report:
"A breath-taking, tell-all expose about the evil corruption of a sexual act so depraved, I had to read about it twice (or maybe more, who can remember?) to believe it. The ground-breaking detective work of a stalwart American hero, exposing the lies and obstruction of justice so heinous that we can just now get over the vapors it caused..."

Muller Report:
"22 months of nonsense put together by a good man who was used by angry Democrats to attack the greatest man in the history of men. The president is vindicated that no collusion was proven, at all, like not even a little bit. 700+ pages of goobley-gook that you can be spared of on my word alone. No Collusion, No Conviction, ergo, No Crimes. Move along....nothing to see here....nothing at all."