More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Orange of the Covefe Coverup Edition
More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Orange of the Covefe Coverup Edition
It must be spring pollen or something, because the right wing doublethink has been so thick lately I had one of my quickest turnarounds ever! Only a month after the last list, time for the thirty-eighth irregularly posted look into the irregular thought processes of today's Trump supporters.
Updates:
* Valid for Hitler Comparisons: A black man in a tan suit wanted to make health care more affordable to more people. Not Valid for Hitler Comparisons: A bombastic bigot with a bad haircut wants to stop immigration, persecute believers of a religious minority, torture people, demand loyalty oaths, punish those who criticize him, build internment camps for children, refers to other human beings as "animals", and threatens his opponents with violence (#23, July 2016) .
* George HW Bush, George W Bush, Jeb Bush, Steve Forbes, Connie Mack IV, Rand Paul, Willard Mitt Rmoney, and Donald Trump are all self made men and don't owe their success to anyone else's prior accomplishments. (#10, Nov. 2012)
* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Office: Joe Biden (New), John Conyers, John Edwards, Al Franken, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Joe Barton, Herman Cain (New to the list), Larry Craig, Joe Fain, Will Gardner, Newt Gingrich, Eric Greitens, Curtis Hill, Jim Jordan, Brett Kavanaugh, Nathan Larson, Rush Limbaugh, Vance McAllister, Roy Moore, Bill O'Reilly, Mark Sanford, David Stringer (New), Clarence Thomas, Donald Trump, David Vitter, and Steve Wynn (New) (#32, Feb. 2018)
And an old classic gets some new wings:
* Hawaii is part of Kenya. Indiana is in Mexico, and so are Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras. New York City is in Afghanistan and Germany. (#1, Nov 2010)
* Fertilized eggs are people but refugee kids aren't. (#26, Nov 2016)
All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
Thanks to sinkingfeeling for this one:
* Women and children fleeing violence in Central America are a "national security threat". Heavily armed white supremacists are not.
* You're far more upset by "Saturday Night Live" than you are racist terrorism in New Zealand.
* Knowing your rights is "Un-American"
* You supported the Discouraging Frivolous Law Suits Act. You also support Devin Nunes suing Twitter for a quarter billion dollars because other users there make fun of him.
* "Free Speech": Calling a prominent black Democratic Congressman the "n-word". Not "Free Speech": Making fun of a Republican Congressman on Twitter
* It's infuriating that John McCain didn't come back from the dead to thank Donald Trump for not going to his funeral.
* New Crime: Moving While Black
* Being concerned about whether a major party Presidential candidate is compromised by a foreign dictator is a "very evil purpose". Constantly acting in ways that appear to be exactly what that dictator wants is not.
* The Trump Administration and Republicans in Congress are trying with all their might to keep the full Mueller report from being seen because it clearly exonerates Trump of wrongdoing.
Because the GOP would have soooo bought it if Ken Starr's report was never released, just a four page memo from Janet Reno saying it proved Bill Clinton did nothing wrong, just trust her. Sure.
* A four page summary by a Trump appointee means the Trump/Russia investigation is over and should be forgotten about because it means Trump is innocent. Multiple Republican-led investigations into Hillary Clinton and Benghazi and butteremails turning up absolutely nothing incriminating means that Benghazi and emails should be investigated again because Clinton has to be guilty of something.
* The Democrats are fighting like hell to get the Mueller report released because they want to hide it.
* Wasteful spending: $18 million on Special Olympics. Not Wasteful Spending: $95 million so a billionaire can cheat at golf.
* A painting of Ronald Reagan riding a dinosaur totally proves that climate change is a hoax.
How...how old do you think Reagan really was, Mike?!?
* Best candidate for the Fed: A tax cheat and child support deadbeat.
This one is 90% verbatim from Bill in Portland Maine on Daily Kos:
* God has given his followers permission to be horrible, evil, child-caging, commandment-breaking human beings as a reward for being the most devout Christians.
* Windmills cause cancer. Cigarettes and fracking chemicals do not.
* A sign of Trump's toughness is the way he goes after dead people who can't fight back.
* You think it's unfair to demonize sex trafficers. But not Democrats.