Dershowitz: 'I Kept My Underwear On' During Massage At Epstein's Mansion

[Demovictory9]

https://crooksandliars.com/2019/07/alan-dershowitz-i-kept-my-underwear-during

Yesterday, Axios' Jonathan Swan was just floored when Dershowitz told them he did get a massage at Epstein's residence but it was from a very "old, old Russian woman."

Swan had the same reaction that we all did which is "What the hell is going on?" It's insane.

Now Dershowitz is adding more details to his story and it's not doing him a lick of good. I can never un-watch this or rinse out my brain, and neither can you.

Epstein's butler testified under oath that Dershowitz was present when underage girls were around, according to court filings.

In an interview via Skype, Dershowitz insisted he never saw an underage girl at Epstein's house, but was worked on by an older lady. Huh?


"Were there young women in another part of the house giving massages when I wasn't around? I have no idea of that," he said.

"I kept my underwear on during the massage," Dershowitz went on to stammer. "I don't like massages particularly."

[ProudLib72]

1. This is what the greatest legal mind of our times comes up with as a defense?

Why do they even bother coming up with excuses when whatever they do apparently doesn't matter to cult followers?

[rpannier]

23. What happens when you think you are so brilliant

and faux spews will gladly tell you that you are

[dalton99a]

35. "Old, old Russian woman - it was a very, very bad ending"

Last edited Thu Jul 11, 2019, 09:59 AM - Edit history (1)

[amywalk]

56. Not even in the ballpark of happy. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[ChubbyStar]

57. He was giving it his best Chekhovian shot

Epic fail Douchewitz.

[renegade000]

90. "Like about 30ish..."

[tblue37]

70. It does explain his continual scramble to defend Trump these past years, though. nt

[tavernier]

86. Right?

My first thought.

[brush]

127. God! Every time this guy's name comes up it registers lower on the dirtbag scale.

What happened to this guy—from respected attorney to trump boot licker to an image he would have us believe, one we can't unsee of a pudgy, pasty, white drooler in tighty whities getting manhandled by a stern Russian babushka (so not true).

Ouch, ouch. My eyes, my eyes. Someone get the Visine, fast.

[ProudLib72]

128. "I was wearing underwear for this picture, I promise!"

[spanone]

2. W.T.F.??????

[TheBlackAdder]

92. This is as bogus as "I did not inhale." No one believes that you didn't show spunk at the end.

[GemDigger]

3. He's lying. I read the transcript from way back then (now 404'd)

and a young girl spoke of doing Dershowitz. That transcript will come out again and Dersh will be toast.

[Ponietz]

46. Remember Zorro Ranch, Stanley, NM (Zorro means 'fox' in Spanish)

Last edited Fri Jul 12, 2019, 05:40 PM - Edit history (1)

[link:https://www.abqjournal.com/521794/sex-slave-suit-nm-was-a-location-used.html|

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. So, perfectly normal to go to a known party guy's house for a massage, .eh?

Not the men's club, not a gym, not a normal place, but to a friends house.

[Demovictory9]

7. don't we all do that?

[Skittles]

14. not just a massage, but a massage by an OLD FOREIGN LADY!

[dixiegrrrrl]

16. "she was ancient, had to be all of 30" n/t

[MFM008]

78. Or 19

......

[Autumn]

124. From the court filings it seems he considers 15 to be ancient

https://www.abqjournal.com/521794/sex-slave-suit-nm-was-a-location-used.html

In a new court filing in Florida, plaintiffs’ lawyers maintain that a woman identified as Jane Doe No. 3, said to have been coerced into Epstein’s camp when she was 15 years old, was frequently sexually abused by Epstein “not only in West Palm Beach (Fla.), but also in New York, New Mexico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, in international airspace on … Epstein’s private planes, and elsewhere.”

The same filing also alleges that Jane Doe No. 3 was forced by Epstein to have sex with famous attorney and Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz numerous times, again at locations around the world, including in New Mexico.

Epstein owns or has owned a 26,700-square-foot mansion near Stanley south of Santa Fe on 10,000 acres known as the Zorro Ranch. The court filings don’t say where specifically in New Mexico the alleged sexual assaults took place.

[Meadowoak]

102. The old Russian bag probably made him keep his underwear on.

[cwydro]

105. "Bag?"

Really?

[Meadowoak]

108. According to Dershowitz, but I'm sure she wasn't hard on the eyes.

[PatSeg]

18. And

when you "don't like massages particularly"! This post just cracked me up.

[amywalk]

59. IKR? He is too scared to come up with a plausible explanation.

[PatSeg]

91. Not terribly bright for such

a smart man. It always blows my mind that people who do such things, honestly don't consider that some day they could get caught.

[get the red out]

74. That one got me too

I guess refusing would be rude, like criticizing the food.

[PatSeg]

89. Oh yes, yes exactly

How could he possibly refuse his host's hospitality?

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

22. What's your point? I'm just coming back from one. Who here

hasn't done that? Am I right??..... ***crickets *****

[mr_lebowski]

47. Practically all my friends have multiple live-in masseuses ... don't the rest of yours?

If not, what class of people do you plebes associate with?

When I show up to visit they drop like a 10-lb photo album on my lap, tell me to take my pick, and then a jovial, smiling Morgan Freeman shows up in a golf cart, and shuttles me to the proper wing of the estate to receive the massage from the person of my choice.

[Skittles]

68. never had one

the idea of a stranger feeling me up.......um, no

[uponit7771]

65. IKR !?!?!

[Major Nikon]

136. Not just a friend's house, but a client you're representing for child molestation

At the time of the "massage", Epstein had been under formal investigation for child rape for many years. As his lawyer, Dershowitz would have known about all the details.

So I suppose one can say Epstein is entitled to a legal defense just like every other American, so Dershowitz can't be faulted for representing Epstein, but that doesn't mean he had to pal around with him. It speaks volumes that he was attending his parties and accepting "massages".

[global1]

5. This Whole Thing Is Getting Creepier By The Day.....nt

[ChubbyStar]

58. I feel like I am living in the movie Brazil

One surreal hit after another.

[womanofthehills]

115. Old man going crazy - Twitter

[Anon-C]

6. Methinks this Reversal of Fortune is much better than the original.

[33taw]

8. Yuck!

[BigmanPigman]

9. HA!

Who believes you? NOBODY! Al still thinks he is a BIGman but he is really just a PIGman!

The charade is over pal.

[madaboutharry]

10. Reporter Jonathan Swan was like "WTF!"

Dershowitz told Swan he kept his underwear on and was given a massage by an “old, old Russian lady.”

One would think that even in his dotage that Dershowitz would have come up with something better than a cockamamie story like this one.

[Skittles]

15. or keep his mouth shut, as he would advise his clients to do

[Princetonian]

11. Is this from The Onion?

Watch the rats squeal.

[Demovictory9]

26. nope. video at link has those words coming from his mouth

[dixiegrrrrl]

48. I swear, you could have 1,000 coked up tv writers scribbling away

for 50 years and not come up with a story like we have been watching since 2016.

It seems our mantra has been .." Can you believe THIS???" every single day.

[LuckyLib]

55. Great observation -- this freak show is simply unbelievable.

And William Barr's father gave Epstein a math/physics teaching job at an exclusive private school in Manhattan even though he had dropped out of college twice?

[ChubbyStar]

60. Actually "Can you fucking believe this shit?"

Might be a tad more apt!

[uponit7771]

66. AMEN!!

[Wawannabe]

134. Fucking a right

Ground hog day. Shit!
I am so DONE!

[Botany]

12. So did Epstein set up Dershowitz w/underage girls so that he could be black mailed later?

Vlad Putin has been working the long game on America for years and is this part of that
or just an old fashioned Godfather 2 Sen. Pat Geary, moment when the Senator after waking up
with the dead girl in mob owned brothel and Tom Hagen, mob lawyer, tells the senator
"We got this all taken care of."

[Wawannabe]

39. With you on the long game

What if majority of gop has had “massages” and that is the very reason they are sticking together like glue?

[tblue37]

72. They are up to their ears in rubles, and that could be reason enough for their cover-ups. nt

[dixiegrrrrl]

95. Notice he did say a massage from an old *Russian* woman. n/t

[Botany]

96. 2 things:

Old to Epstein is 19

In a house full of hot young "models" who were flown in for sex Dershowitz choose to
have his "massage by an older woman.

[yardwork]

138. Looks that way. And, of course, they are in fact all dirt balls.

They were apparently willing participants in child rape and sex trafficking. Easy targets for all kinds of blackmail.

[Eyeball_Kid]

13. Yeah. He didn't inhale, either.

The older masseuse was 16. That’s old, compared to the rest of the workers. They were between 12 and 14.

Trumpy’s just as sick, though. That’s just the way his fans like it.

[flor-de-jasmim]

52. My first thought, followed by:

His underwear was around his knees, but was still "on.
"

[Indykatie]

17. I Fully Expected This to Be an Article from the Onion After Reading the Headline. n/t

[EveHammond13]

19. MY EARS! MY EYES!

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

20. Uh huh

[hibbing]

21. Gross n/t

[RockRaven]

24. Yeah, but Dersh is a f-ing BS-ing prevaricating lawyer. Is an "old, old Russian woman"

Dersh's way of referring to a 14, or 15, or 16, or 17 year-old? Seems like a reasonable question for a scum-bag like him.

Because he did not explicitly say so; nor did he say so in a context in which lying has a specific and certain penalty...

[Lady Freedom Returns]

25. Can it get any creepier?

Scratch that. It has going to.

[Hassler]

27. Speaking for every guy ever, I too had underwear on when something was going on

[jberryhill]

28. I totally did not expect to think about Dershowitz's underwear today

Life comes at you fast.

[Marie Marie]

32. ...

[LuvNewcastle]

84. I pictured him in a pair of loose, dingy tighty-whities

with a hole in the ass.

[jberryhill]

85. And that's just something you'll have to live with

But thanks for sharing.

[yellowcanine]

141. With brown skid marks.

[JustAnotherGen]

103. Me either

And now I can't un-see it dammit!

[Midnight Writer]

29. Keeping your underwear on is a fungible condition.

[BootinUp]

30. Scummy liar nt

[dlk]

31. No, He Didn't - What Man Goes for a "Massage" with an Underage Girl and Keeps His Underwear On?

I'm smelling desperation.

[dalton99a]

33. Did he turn over and salute?

[Initech]

34. Seriously, dude, stop talking.

[PatrickforO]

37. Sure you did, Alan.

Sure you did. We all believe you...

[Blue Owl]

38. Well thanks Tighty Whitey

[itsrobert]

40. True. An OLD, OLD woman is 17 years old in Trump world

He's not lying

[Jarqui]

41. Dershowitz is looking more and more pathetic

I don't know if they can get him but they're getting his reputation, legacy and many future opportunities he might have otherwise had.

I have a strong feeling a lot of powerful men are involved and that's why Epstein got the deal he did and was able to keep a lid on it.

They need to flip one of his enablers/recruiters.

I'm sure AG Barr is going to do his best to squash this

[Demovictory9]

133. ..

[Tre45on]

42. I wonder which STDs the masseuse gave him?

Donorrhea?

Klanmydia?

Acquired Integrity Deficiency Syndrome?

[JI7]

43. YUK

[Opel_Justwax]

44. I'm sure Alan wore iron underwear.

[JDC]

45. "I only pretended to enjoy it, it's rude to offend"

His defense before was this was all political. He is as greasy as the rest. Definitely solidified his no invites to dinner on Martha's Vineyard status.

[Kablooie]

49. Old! old! She was old!

At least 16 years old!

[Mme. Defarge]

50. Briefs, I presume,

rather than boxers.

[Historic NY]

51. 30yrs old she is.

[link:|]

[OnDoutside]

53. Is that Little Red Riding Hood ?!!! Or GW Bush ???

[Wawannabe]

135. Bush!

[KPN]

54. We really are in the midst of "Ideocracy" -- only evil as opposed to just plain simple.

[TlalocW]

61. Maybe I'm trying too hard to make a connection but...

Dershowitz has recently been complaining about how he's been getting invited to parties in Martha's Vineyard because he was a critic of the Mueller investigation (earning him a private meeting with Trump).

Maybe some of his fellow rich-and-famous "fair-weathered" friend heard about Epstein and by connection, Dershowitz, through the grapevine.

TlalocW

[tblue37]

73. Not invited. You left out "not." nt

[True Blue American]

62. Epstein did not hire old women.

He hired young, dumb girls who needed the money.

[Maru Kitteh]

94. Don't call the victims dumb.

The victims were young, and predators know how to hit their marks. They were vulnerable and inexperienced. Those young females were exploited and vandalized. Let us NOT participate in harming them further by labeling them as "dumb." That's reprehensible.

[True Blue American]

97. That was my point!

These young girls needed money, and played right into Epstein's hands. They were not mature enough to deal with a monster like Epstein and Trump.

That is why I used the word. I am reading Patterson’s book now. It is so sickening. I am not sure I can finish because I know the ending. Acosta is a lying dog of a man. To think we have 2 just alike in office is more than I can deal with.

[usaf-vet]

137. Agreed!!

[milestogo]

63. It was probably Putin.

[uponit7771]

64. Yeah right ...

[struggle4progress]

67. "Look! If I hadn't accept the massage from that old Russian woman, Epstein might not

have gotten the plea deal I arranged for him!"

[tblue37]

69. Uh huh:

https://m.

[Flaleftist]

71. "I didn't inhale"

[47of74]

75. Alan is a fucking disgrace

To the legal profession.

And as a human being.

[underpants]

76. Did it move?

[duforsure]

77. Sounds like something trump would say, but,

Would he take a lie detector test, and say that under oath? Like trump has done with many issues, he's lying and wouldn't do either. He also is repeating the lie like trump does, and repeat it enough hoping people will buy his BS story. Like trump, when girls come out claiming that was a lie , he'll claim they are lying and attack them, again like trump does, then threaten them with legal actions.

[Ilsa]

79. Gee, Alan, did you know that Epstein thought so little of you?

All those girls there, and he sends you a babushka or his babka?

[DeminPennswoods]

80. Wonder what Harvard thinks?

Dershowitz is still listed on their Law School faculty list as a professor emeritus.

[FM123]

81. Yeah right.

So Epstein kept not only a stable of young vulnerable girls that he exploited, but a bunch of foreign senior citizens he recruited from a nearby nursing home just in case that dirtbag Dershowitz stopped by?

[MaryMagdaline]

126. Exactly!

[Vinca]

82. The dog ate my homework.

[UpInArms]

83. Virginia Roberts is not an "old, old Russian woman"

Alleged victim of Jeffrey Epstein files a defamation lawsuit against Alan Dershowitz

Giuffre alleges in her suit that Dershowitz, 80, was a participant in Epstein's sex trafficking operation, and that she had sex with Dershowitz as part of that operation. Giuffre has made similar allegations against Dershowitz in court filings in the past.
"Defendant Dershowitz was Epstein's attorney, close friend, and co-conspirator. Dershowitz was also a participant in sex trafficking, including as one of the men to whom Epstein lent out Plaintiff for sex," the lawsuit alleges.

[CincyDem]

87. When I read this, all I can see and hear is Jeffery Tambor as George Bluth Sr. n/t

[zackymilly]

88. Dershowitz said her calloused farm hands caused pain to his back. nt

[Kid Berwyn]

93. Did she keep her hat on?

Joe Cocker would want to know.

[calguy]

129. Excuse me....

that's a Randy Newman song. But I'm sure Joe did a fine job singing it.

[MFGsunny]

98. Talk about bumbling TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harvard and his clients should be entitled to an I-HIRED-AN-IMBECILE refund/rebate.

[MineralMan]

99. Sure he did...

[Hekate]

100. Well that's all right then. You are a prince among men, Alan D.

[Buckeyeblue]

101. He doesn't like massages particularly

But when he wants one it must be completed by an old Russian hag. Sounds reasonable to me.

I have a visual of Dershowitz slinking around the mansion in his boxes and brown socks, trying to find the room that doesn't contain the old Russian hag.

Also, please excuse my use of the word hag. I don't mean it to be demeaning. It just sounds funny. But also Dershowitz does more to demean by implying an older Russian woman can't be sexually attractive.

[unblock]

104. "i don't like massages particularly" rather suggests he was in it for another reason....

people made fun of "i didn't inhale" as not credible.

this statement by dershowitz is 10 times worse.

[Blue_true]

117. It took the massage to get to the happy ending.

He's saying that he can skip the massage part.

For a socalled brilliant legal mind, he is not giving any better excuse that a guy caught drinking bottle after bottle of cheap wine outside a liquor store that has it's alarm going off.

[eleny]

106. Weasel words

[tandem5]

107. Is this going to become the gross version of "I didn't inhale"?

[oasis]

110. Dershowitz was only setting up Trump's "Why I fell out w/Epstein" explanation.

Now Trump can say "That happened to me, too".

Brilliant move.

[Mike Nelson]

111. Dear Mr. D...

… anything can happen with your underwear on, during a sexual encounter; also, there is an opening in the front. You need to change your story. I suggest you admit a preference for women's underwear.

You're welcome.

[Dirty Socialist]

112. He has decades of experience as a defense lawyer

And this is all he can come up with?

[soryang]

113. he has a fool for a client

he's violating the primary rule in criminal law, keep your mouth shut.

[Blue_true]

118. Yeah, he needs to shut up and hire a lawyer. nt

[Marcuse]

114. Dershowitz backed up his statement with solid corroborative evidence

[Baltimike]

116. I. Can't. Even knr

[SoCalDem]

119. He was born in 1938

If all this "massagery" happened as recently as 2008, that would make him SEVENTY years old..

WTF does it even matter if "he left his underwear on"?

WTF is it with these looney-tunes old men who "need" massages.. What exactly do they DO, to make massages necessary?

I can see it for sportspeople who routinely punish their muscles, but lazy old white guys?? not so much..

These are just weirdos who like to subjugate/assault/rape attractive teens & barely-teen girls..

Pedophiles are just pedophiles.

[Everyman Jackal]

120. I did not read the article or the posts.

That's because I threw up reading the headline.

[Tarc]

121. Um...

Ew.

[peggysue2]

122. O.M.G.

This is a genuine take-off from the Clinton years: But I never inhaled.

The rats are getting very, very nervous. He kept his underwear on for the very old Russian woman.

You can't make this stuff up, except when you have to to save your own neck.



I want to see if Dershowitz sticks to this story as the public laughs its ass off.

[Autumn]

123. It sounds like "A Noun, A Verb and 9/11" is his attorney and has been advising him.

[GeorgeGist]

125. I think that tops Clinton's ...

I didn't inhale claim.

[LuvNewcastle]

142. This.

[beachbum bob]

130. Going for diminished capacity defense is he?

[njhoneybadger]

131. I wonder what Putin pays for blackmail videos.

[C_U_L8R]

132. Captain Underpants, eh

The image of Dersh in his whities makes me wanna barf

[yellowcanine]

139. This reeks. Dershy is done. Good riddance

No wonder he defends Trump. He has a steamer trunk full of dirty laundry wedgied under his bed.

[yellowcanine]

140. Amazing how much detail he suddenly remembers.

And would it still not be unethical to accept a favor like that from a client? Don't see how her age gets him a pass.

[George II]

143. I'm glad I read this AFTER I ate dinner! Was this intentional: "not doing him a lick of good"???

A little advice for Mr. Douchowitz - when you dig yourself into a hole, stop digging.