Trump Announces He Was Born Of A Virgin And Will Bring Balance To The Force
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press conference Wednesday, President Trump announced he was born of a virgin and is the chosen one who will bring balance to the Force.
According to Trump, he was conceived by the Force and has "the highest midi-chlorian count of anyone, maybe ever."
"I'm the chosen one," he said. "All the very best people say that. I ask them to stop saying it so it won't go to my head, but they keep saying it. They insist." Trump claimed he had the uncanny ability when he was a child to win podraces in Star Wars Episode I: Racer on the Nintendo 64, something no human has been able to do before. "I'm a very good podracer. An expert."
A reporter questioned whether this was true, since the Nintendo 64 wasn't released when Trump was a child, but he Force-choked her.
"Sad!" he said. "So uncivilized."
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-declares-he-was-born-of-a-virgin-and-will-bring-balance-to-the-force