Florida Man Goes Viral for His Absolutely Hilarious Plan to Fight Hurricanes

[CatWoman]

https://www.mediaite.com/tv/watch-florida-man-goes-viral-for-his-absolutely-hilarious-plan-to-fight-hurricanes/



With Hurricane Dorian approaching, let’s check in on Florida Man and see if he has any ideas on how to combat the powerful storm.

“I can’t see how they haven’t come up with some kind of way to combat these storms yet,” said Florida Man — in a video posted by Florida Today reporter Tyler Vazquez. “They keep saying, two days ago, three days ago, ‘Oh … it’s gonna hit all this warm weather. All this warm weather and warm water.

“We have a Navy. Why don’t the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so it can’t get going as fast as it’s going? There’s gotta be ways to combat this instead of just point at the thing and saying, ‘Well, now it’s getting worse!’ Yeah, we know it’s getting worse!”

The Navy is not the only branch of the Armed Forces that the unidentified Florida Man would like to see get involved.

“You tell us, ‘Oh, it’s the warm weather. Oh, it’s the wind.’ Well, we have an Air Force,” said Florida Man — speaking in a heavy New England accent. “Drive some Air Force planes around and get the winds going the opposite way. Get the Navy to in circles to fight it the other way.”

[mopinko]

1. i'm seeing this guy id'd on twitter as the head of florida fema.

not sure if it's true, but have seen it twice so far.

[underpants]

2. He heard someone say we could Nuke them and he's just trying to be less aggressive

Last edited Mon Sep 2, 2019, 12:38 PM - Edit history (1)

Love this comment.

[CatWoman]

4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[world wide wally]

3. Trump will be appoint this guy as Sec of the Interior soon

[JHB]

10. Of course. He's the only one who's enough stable near-genius to know Trump's plan...

Where's the Navy going to get enough ice to snuff hurricanes? Could it be ... Greenland?

[world wide wally]

23. I'm sure he has a big cooler

[aikoaiko]

5. This is how the youth of the south fight hurricanes.

[CatWoman]

7. hard to tell which is the bigger idiot

[aikoaiko]

8. True, but I know which one has more fun.

[FakeNoose]

6. He'd better get off the internet and board those windows up quick

[lindysalsagal]

20. STOP!

Lol

[HAB911]

9. I love Florida man as much as anyone (I live here) but

That's not a Florida accent

[CatWoman]

13. sounds more like a New England accent

[Joe941]

11. I thought it might have been tRump.

[Raven]

12. Put a blond wig on him and he could be Trump. n/t

[Hortensis]

14. I'm waiting for Trump to order them stopped with "Goddamned steam!"

The man loves the idea of steam power. Aircraft carriers could use steam-powered aircraft catapults to throw ice into the hurricanes, or maybe to just douse them with steam hoses like the greatest "I alone can do it" phallic fantasy ever.

"You know the steam is just brutal. You see that sucker going, and steam's going all over the place."

[question everything]

15. Or Nuke them

[Bengus81]

16. I was thinking if EVERYONE on the coast with a leaf blower...........

Would all line up along the coast,fire those mothers UP and point them east Dorian would be blown hundreds of miles to the east and start tracking North.

IT COULD HAPPEN!!!!

[Brainfodder]

17. Half expecting an executive order denying the hurricane.

Is it bad to think we are being run by dingbats or just accurate?

[turbinetree]

18. Here are some oldie but goodie's........................

FLORIDA MAN'S JOKE ABOUT SHOOTING BULLETS AT HURRICANE GETS TAKEN SERIOUSLY

https://www.theweathernetwork.com/ca/news/article/reminder-dont-shoot-at-tornadoes-hurricanes-lava

[lindysalsagal]

19. Put the guy in the white house.

He's perfect.

[muriel_volestrangler]

21. Space Force should just extend the vacuum of space to the hurricane, to suck it up

and then drop it in the sun. That'd help fight global warming too, since the hurricane is cooler than the sun.

[peggysue2]

22. Good Grief!

If this were the suggestion of a ten-year old, I'd cut these comments some slack. But from a grown man???

No wonder there are flat-earthers. Astounding ignorance which will live forever in the ether.

[RainCaster]

24. Hurricanes don't stop until they destroy a quota of trailer parks.

So every seaside community must zone the beach areas (those that are hit first) as 100% trailer parks.

[maxrandb]

25. I think there was a serious discussion one time

about loading our Boomer Submarine missile tubes with liquid nitrogen and releasing it into the waters in front of a storm.

I think that they decided that would do significant damage to the ocean.

[Mike_DuBois]

26. To be fair, there has been a proposal to pump deep ocean water to the surface

Spread cold water across a swath of surface and hope it forms a thermal barrier. Would require dozens (if not hundreds) of specialty boats. Meh. Be fun to watch.