Learn to write letters like a clueless millionaire!
Are you tired of being hated for having at least average intelligence?
Do you find yourself wishing you could make everybody think that you have some money but still have spuds for brains?
Cheer up!
You can learn how to write letters Donald's way!
Once you master just a few simple tricks, every letter you write will decrease your IQ! And your popularity can begin to soar with people who never want to hear a polysyllabic word ever again!
Let's get started!
Get the things you will need:
(1) An envelope
(2) A picture magazine
(3) A Sharpie
(4) A stamp
First, pick somebody to write to. Have your personal secretary address the envelope to that person
Next, flip through the magazine until you see a picture that reminds of something about that person that you could summarize as "Sad!"
Tear the picture carefully from the magazine
Use the Sharpie to write the person's name boldly near the top of the picture
Now think of something that every halfwit will recognize as helpful but sarcastic advice. Do not use more than eight or ten words. Use the Sharpie to write your advice somewhere else on the picture
Have your personal secretary fold the picture until it fits in the envelope
Have your personal secretary affix the stamp
See? It's easy!
Bibliography:
Zodiac Killer–inspired method of communicating to conduct matters of U.S. diplomacy
BY BESS LEVIN
AUGUST 12, 2019
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