General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWhat is it about some people that makes them dishonest?
Infrequent poster here. I have a story to tell. Im going to leave out names and places because this can be generalized, and it just all led to a question.
So last week before teaching I was out on campus with a camera, photographing a construction site (the campus is getting a massive facelift). An older gentleman walked up to me to ask what I was doing. I was a bit defensive, as Im getting tired of cameras being viewed as dangerous, but it became clear he wasnt challenging me.
I introduced myself and he replied with you know who I am. I answered, no, Im sorry, but I dont.
He gave his name (I still drew a blank), and went on to list his achievements: owner of a big local business, as well as former mayor (?), former Congressman (?), and that hed also run for governor.
Then he told me were hed gone to school, and we talked about photography.
I was curious so I looked him up. He is indeed a wealthy man who inherited a big business, thats true. He didnt go to school where he claimed! Found his mayoral campaign site and immediately knew why hed not even gotten past the primary. The statements on the website were incoherent.
Further research revealed hed never held any office. He lost every election hed ever been in, both as a Democrat and a Republican. I found LTTE comments about his performance during his last campaign and it just solidified my thinking: I see why he lost.
But my question is, why does a certain type of person just embellish like that? What is the point?
Edited the title.
vlyons
(10,252 posts)Greed is the #1 fault of dishonest politicians.
neeksgeek
(1,214 posts)But in the situation I described, what possible motive could there be for him to lie to a random adjunct faculty member of just another college? Trying to impress me?
vlyons
(10,252 posts)The main flaw in all of us is delusion, referred to in Buddhism as ignorance. Ignorance in this sense is not low IQ, but simply "not knowing" how things really exist. The ego, the sense of Self is a delusion that we think exists as some real solid self-existant thing. It SEEMS real, but look as hard as you can, and you won't find a self. We all have a mind, but it also is unfindable. We defend this sense of self and string together a ,lot of experiences and feelings and label it "I." In the case of your adjunct faculty member, I would guess that in his mind, he nurtures envy for what others have accomplished that he failed at. So he imagines himself to have done what he envies and gets to feel his ego inflate when he lies to others. It's a vicarious and ultimately unsatisfying experience for him.
That's my 2 cents about it.
Hermit-The-Prog
(33,041 posts)neeksgeek
(1,214 posts)Im asking this question totally sincerely.
Hermit-The-Prog
(33,041 posts)Greed or self-aggrandizement are a couple of reasons people play loose with the truth. The reasons behind those keep psychiatrists and cops busy.
tblue37
(64,982 posts)recognized and seen as special. He thought he could safely get his narcissistic supply from you because you were a stranger who would not cause him narcissistic injury by questioning him.
His need to lie about his status is related to several of the traits common to narcissism:
-Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from others
-Fixation on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.
-Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people and institutions
-Need for continual admiration from others
Obviously there are other traits associated with narcissism but these are the ones relevant to the situation you describe.
Since you didn't know him or have any reason to check up on his claims, it never occurred to him that you would do so.
melm00se
(4,974 posts)been subject to quite a bit of research.
I recall reading that one of the most common traits of political leaders (and business leaders as well) is narcissism well above the general population's statistical norm.
While being a narcissist may or may not mean they have a mental illness, they do exhibit certain traits:
- They expect to get special treatment.
- They exaggerate their own smarts, success, power, and looks.
- The lack empathy
- They may be extremely jealous and ultra-sensitive.
Because of these traits, they may find it super-difficult to have healthy relationships, and have loads of trouble in structured social situations like work or school.
Please note that this trait crosses political and ideological boundaries.
CommonSenseMom
(43 posts)My 2nd husband (hey, don't judge unless you know the stories) - was just like the man you describe & just like Dolt45. Had to embellish everything because he felt (secretly, deep inside - probably not even conscious of it) woefully inadequate. He'd failed at just about everything he'd tried, but that was embarrassing, so he made up stuff. All the time. Repeated the lies so many times, he began to believe it was the truth. Had a powerful belief that he was superior to others & very much entitled to whatever he wanted. Enraged when he saw friends achieving (through hard work & effort he never bothered to do) their best goals. He was insecure and resentful as hell when anyone other than him did well.
His insecurities made him mean and cruel. I was lucky to escape him.
Sound familiar?
elocs
(22,476 posts)Everybody lies for one reason or another, but does it take a certain number of lies or their frequency to label someone dishonest?
Must the lies be self-serving in some respect?