GOOP Has a Candle Called 'This Smells Like My Vagina'

[demmiblue]

Right now at Goop, you can buy a candle called Orchard or Church, or you can buy one called “This Smells Like My Vagina.”

Given that she has encouraged the public to consider steaming theirs and sticking rocks up there, maybe lighting a vagina on fire isn’t that outlandish. According Goop lore, the idea came straight from GP (as insiders call her) herself. It all started as “a joke” between Paltrow and Heretic perfumer Douglas Little, with whom she frequently collaborates on her own scents. The two were sampling potential fragrances when she suddenly blurted out, “Uhhh … this smells like a vagina.” (Remember that time she yelled “VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA!” to a roomful of HBS students? Okay!)

But Gwyneth has high standards, so they kept working on it until it had “evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.” The Goop copy calls it “perfect as a candle” — because what’s better than inviting guests into your home, having them compliment you on the lovely scent, and then humbly saying, “Thanks, it’s this new vagina candle I picked up”?

The candle costs $75, and Goop says it sold out within hours at one of the company’s events (it does match the other branding). High-end, wellness-y Brooklyn beauty shop Shen also carries the candle, but it’s currently sold out on its site.

https://www.thecut.com/2020/01/gwyneth-paltrow-is-selling-a-vagina-scented-candle.html?utm_source=tw&utm_medium=s1&utm_campaign=thecut

[jberryhill]

1. Wait, whose vagina does it smell like?

[mr_lebowski]

7. Of course it'd be the owner of the candle, silly?!? (nt)

[RandySF]

51. Gwyneth Paltrow

[jberryhill]

59. How would you know?

Has that warranty claim been independently certified?

[RandySF]

62. wyneth Paltrow's Goop Shop Is Selling a Candle That 'Smells Like My Vagina'

The 47-year-old actress’ company is currently selling a $75 votive cheekily named “This Smells Like My Vagina,” according to a listing on Goop’s online store.

Per the product description, the item — made by artisanal fragrance brand Heretic — “started as a joke” between perfumer Douglas Little and Paltrow while they were collaborating on a fragrance together. The two were testing scents when the Politician star blurted out, “Uhhh..this smells like a vagina,” the website said.

While the two didn’t end up bottling the “funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent” into a perfume, they did think it would be “perfect as a candle,” the descr.


https://www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/style/gwyneth-paltrow-selling-candle-smells-like-vagina/amp/

[jberryhill]

64. Yes, but

How does one confirm that it smells like her vagina, as advertised.

How do you know that it is not some cheap knock-off vagina?

It could be anyone’s vagina, for all you know.

[Sugar Smack]

73. "-not some cheap knock-off vagina"

[Yavin4]

90. "How do you know that it is not some cheap knock-off vagina?"

Exactly. It could smell like Jessica Chastain's vagina.

[Chellee]

111. For $75, it's not a cheap anything. nt

[Dulcinea]

74. Barnum was right. That is all. nt

[Hekate]

2. I liked her so much better as an Elf Queen

[miyazaki]

4. I liked her more at the end of "Seven".

[Loryn]

13. ...

[dewsgirl]

25. ....

[JDC]

36. Zing!

[Sugar Smack]

41. ...

[marble falls]

20. Or in "Shakespeare in Love."

[Ilsa]

22. In what movie was she an elf queen? nt

[Hekate]

47. I always thought she was in LOTR, but after some tedious research that showed she was offered ...

...a part and turned it down, but was also a fan-favorite to play at least one Elf role, I realized I was wrong all these years. Doggone skinny blondes look perilously similar.

[Ilsa]

100. Yeah, she and Cate Blanchett have a certain cloned look,

and if I hadn't been a long time fan of LOTR, I would get them confused all of the time. I have a hard enough time differentiating between people whose general discriptions are the same.

I'm really glad GP was not Galadriel. CB was slightly older, and was a better fit for a queen elf as wise as Galadriel, and old enough that she witnessed the Light from the Two Trees of Valinor, if I'm not mistaken on the history of the elves, Middle Earth, Arda, etc.

[Silent3]

63. I think you're thinking of the distinctly non-goopy Cate Blanchett

/

[Hekate]

72. sigh. Of course I knew Cate B was in LOTR, but memory had me convinced Gwen P was also...

Stupid memory. I did the google for my previous post in this subthread, and found out that while there had been a certain amount of push from fans, Gwen did not choose to be in LOTR.

In one sense I feel better that she was never an Elf. Honestly, every time Steven Colbert has Gwyneth on his show hawking her wares, I can't make up my mind whether she is deliberately running a con or whether she has gone completely loopy and lost her mind.

[jberryhill]

101. Aside from which, her vagina would make better candles anyway

[Maru Kitteh]

114. I have read this entire thread and

How old are we, again?

[Hekate]

116. True, this is Lounge material, but sometimes it leaks out into GD...

[ChubbyStar]

117. Did you just say leaks out?

Well done!

[Kali]

3. seventy five dollars for a fucking candle?

[Marthe48]

27. How do you mean that?

lolol

[ret5hd]

29. Ha!

[smirkymonkey]

68. Don't lose your mind, but there are candles out there that sell for hundreds of

dollars. Regular, small candles. Not huge candles.

Check this out. $495.00. Gwyneth's candle is a bargain by comparison

?v=1563624818

[Totally Tunsie]

95. Because some people have money to burn?

[Beartracks]

70. I see what you did there.

========

[milestogo]

5. And is there a golden dildo lighter for lighting up the vagina candle?

[dewsgirl]

26. When did she get to be so wacky? I guess it is successful.

[milestogo]

30. If she came out with all this shit before she won the best actress Oscar,

I wonder if she would have won.

[dewsgirl]

32. I don't know, some of this stuff has got her in trouble with

gynecologists, specifically the vagina rocks. I realize that doesn't affect her acting ability, but she has became quite controversial.
I really liked her in the late 90's, early 2000's.

[milestogo]

34. I liked her too, but now I think she's giving blonds a bad name.

She comes off as a crazy airhead.

[mr_lebowski]

6. There should be a companion candle ...

This Smells Like My Dick, My Rod, or My Johnson

[Docreed2003]

57. Or "This Smells Like My Ball Sack"

[TexasBushwhacker]

97. They could call it "Foul Balls"!

[lunasun]

8. My This Smells Like Ass candle was only

$2
Location location ....

[nolabear]

9. 😂

[Marie Marie]

46. Oh, so close!!

[Blue_true]

84. Oh, so close, yet so far away. nt

[EndlessWire]

49. LOL! n/t

[smirkymonkey]

66. Oh, that's a bargain! I had to pay $10 for "This smells like my dirty feet" candle

I guess I missed the sale.

[3Hotdogs]

10. Hustler Mag, I guess it was an issue in the '70's had a "scratch and sniff"

that was 'posed to smell like that.

[marble falls]

21. Or so you heard. (your mom might be reading this)

[Aussie105]

11. An unhealthy preoccupation with body parts.

She has one, it smells, and she wants everyone to know she has one and what it smells like.

(I'm guessing, like fish? Or yeast?)

A little bit off beam there, GP!

What next?
GP: 'Hey, that smells like my armpits after a week of not washing! There must be a market for that!'

[Blue_true]

85. Surprisingly, when people bathe properly and at a decent frequency,

Last edited Sat Jan 11, 2020, 08:00 PM - Edit history (1)

they don't smell. I often wear jeans and shirts around the house several times, even pulling jeans out of the laundry hamper, because I bathe twice a day and use 1/5th the water for the two that people use for one bath, my body is really clean.

[Totally Tunsie]

96. "jeans and shits" ???

Gosh, I hope that's a typo!

[jberryhill]

103. Either that or Blue-True's shits don't stink

[sl8]

110. If that's the case, I think I smell a candle marketing oppurtunity!

[Blue_true]

113. Lack of proof reading got me a red face.

Good catch.

[Totally Tunsie]

115. That's OK as long as your heart stays blue!

[Kaleva]

119. I take a shower every two or three days

I wash my bad touch areas daily with a washcloth.

[Blue_true]

120. Pretty much all of my bath is cleaning my body with a soaped towel.

My shower runs only about a minute and a half, 2 minutes when I shampoo my hair (twice per week). I save around 21 gallons of water per bath compared to what a person that does a regular shower use (2.5 gallon per minute shower flow for ~11 minutes). I bathe twice a day and use less that 12 gallons of water total. Some people cut their baths out of concern about wasting water, that really is not necessary.

[Kaleva]

121. I took navy showers.

Have the shower on long enough to wet down then turn the water off as I lather up and scrub down, Then turn the water back on long enough to rinse off. I also had the bathtub drain plugged so I could scoop out the water and put it in a 13 gallon plastic tote which. That water I used to fill the toilet tank with after flushing.

As I didn't get enough water for toilet flushing from taking a shower, I saved the wash water from my top load washing machine. The rinse water was saved in another tote and I used that for washing the next load.

I'm not so hard core anymore but I could go back to that if needed. If I remember correctly, I think I used on average about 300 gallons a month for all things.

[Blue_true]

122. I am certainly not nearly as hardcore as that. I do limit toilet flushes though.

Just think, even with me, I use maybe 25 gallons of water each day, for all activities. Just imagine is every average person did the same, daily water usage would plunge, that is even without hitting the more spartan usage you seem to aim for. But if the average person used your usage, we would not be facing a potable water crisis at all.

[Kaleva]

123. My example is rather extreme. Yours is doable for most everyone!

[jpak]

12. Can I roll it in cornflakes before I light it?

[Blue_true]

86. I don't get the reference. Mind explaining? nt

[lunatica]

14. Honey, it's cheaper just to open a can of tuna.

[whathehell]

78. Honey, you may be judging her vagina by your own.

In which case you may need a checkup, since only infected vaginas smell that way

https://www.healthline.com/health/vaginal-health/what-you-need-to-know-if-your-vagina-has-a-fishy-odor

[Blue_true]

88. I was thinking along the same lines. nt

[lunatica]

98. I'm just fine.

I was being sarcastic.

But what woman would want to have candles that smell like someone else’s vagina? It boggles the mind.

[3catwoman3]

106. Or even like your own?

A nice lavender or citrus will be just fine thank you very much.

[lunatica]

108. LOL!

The foray, albeit unwitting, into Gwyneth’s mind definitely has the ick factor doesn’t it?! The ultimate self adulation on steroids and way, way too much information.

[whathehell]

109. Oh, it's definitely a mind boggler

I can only imagine that she's very strange.

[Blue_true]

87. Honestly. If a person smells like tuna down there, there are personal hygiene issue, IMO. nt

[lunatica]

99. I was being sarcastic.

The thought of buying candles that smell like Gwyneth’s vagina had me go to the worst scenario. Having lived to the ripe old age of 71 I know my way around the subject of vaginal health.

[Blue_true]

112. Some women have medical conditions that cause order down there.

Diet may play a part, I know that my body leeches a garlic scent if I eat fresh garlic.

[ornotna]

15. Here's what they look like

[Blue_true]

89. Did you know that freshly caught ocean fish doesn't stink.

It has the light smell of brine, actually a pleasant smell. A properly maintained vagina on a healthy woman should not smell.

[lpbk2713]

16. One way to find out if it is authentic ...

Walk up behind Trump and see if he grabs it.

[Marthe48]

28. lol

lol

[Aussie105]

17. I wonder

how many will be sold to groups of teenage boys who will hide away, light it and loudly go 'IS THAT WHAT THEY SMELL LIKE!'

[Ilsa]

24. I think they are going to be

Disappointed!

[Blue_true]

91. Well, they are going to be disappointed.

Vaginas run the spectrum, from foul to intoxicating. It all boils down to how well they are maintained and whether a person has an illness or a bad diet.

[Dagstead Bumwood]

18. Meh...

Beats pumpkin spice.

[MuseRider]

58. I gotta hand it to you

that was good. Seriously, I HATE the pumpkin spice everything and would probably hate this worse but that was one clever response, at least for me. Thanks for a belly laugh before I go back out in the cold!

[area51]

19. I'll be glad

if Paltrow's 15 minutes of fame are ever up.

[Turbineguy]

23. Everything seems to be getting

dragged down to trump's level.

[smirkymonkey]

31. She is just ridiculous.

It amazes me that there are people out there who take her seriously.

[Skittles]

33. THANK YOU

seriously: WTF

[Sugar Smack]

43. I never knew she was such a NARCISSIST.

But then again, I never paid her much attention. Everything else going on in the world. And super-rich Gwynneth (sp?) Paltrow wants to give us a heads-up about WHAT?

Frankly, I prefer Leonardo DiCaprio's way of comporting himself.

[eppur_se_muova]

53. Perhaps "heads-up" was not the most felicitously chosen phrase ...

... or perhaps it was.

[smirkymonkey]

65. It kind of shocks me how self-absorbed and idiotic she is when she was raised in this

intellectual New York liberal family. I would have thought she could have used her celebrity to do some good for the world instead of hawking high-priced, ridiculously useless items on a vanity website. She is absolutely worthless.

[Blue Owl]

35. Cheaper to just spray a generic candle with Summer's Eve

n/t

[DinahMoeHum]

37. To go along with the jade or rose quartz egg. . .

. . .that you're supposed to literally shove up your ass. . .

[Kaleva]

50. If you shoved the jade or rose quartz egg up your ass, we know you didn't follow directions.

[Qutzupalotl]

38. FOR ... ?

[Buns_of_Fire]

39. For anywhere you'd use one of those old, boring candles. I guess.

Power outages, aroma therapy, candlelight dinners, church socials...

[jberryhill]

40. Candlelight vigils

Mourning the death of common sense.

[Kaleva]

42. This would be the smell after she steam cleans her vagina or before?

[jberryhill]

60. You can get both

[GemDigger]

126. To think of the things that this woman has done to her poor vagina

I shudder.

[Kaleva]

44. This explains the reports of people licking candles.

[Blue_true]

92. ....

[3catwoman3]

45. OMG, I am sitting here LMAO.

Last edited Sat Jan 11, 2020, 07:18 PM - Edit history (1)

And sold out? For $75? People with more money than sense.

Or would that be scents? Or cents?

[Grammy23]

48. 'Cause nothing shows class like a candle burning in your foyer (to greet guests)

that smells like Vagina. Send me a dozen.

[Orrex]

52. She's also marketing an aftershave lotion called Aqua Vulva.

Can't seem to find the link right now...

[Codeine]

54. It's made with bits of real vagina, so you know it's good.

[jberryhill]

61. Not just any vagina...

Ethically sourced fair trade gluten free vegan free-range organic non-GMO vagina.

[JDC]

55. Surely there is a wick dipping joke in here somewhere

This is obscene on its face. Just a preposterous presentation of self important asshole-ism by GP and her stupid "brand"

[3catwoman3]

69. Yes, surely. I think Pinboy3niner...

...could have had a good time with this thread.

I’m laughing so hard I can barely breathe.

[jberryhill]

77. Better to light a candle than curse the darkness

This little light of mine,
I’m gonna let it shine...
Hide it under a bush, no!
I’m gonna let it shine..

[3catwoman3]

107. Under a "bush," eh?

[Hekate]

124. "Where ever there be outrageous puns, you shall find me"

[jberryhill]

125. .

[Bettie]

56. I'm just done

WTF is wrong with the world.

I don't care what it smells like, no candle is worth 75 bucks!

[Aristus]

67. Vagina Candle.

When You Really Want To Light Up A Room...

[Beartracks]

71. A vagina candle?? F**k that!

I am soooooo sorry. I couldn't help myself.

========

[Codeine]

83. Ha!

[sl8]

75. If only there were a way to make your current candle smell like vagina for less than $75. n/t

Last edited Sat Jan 11, 2020, 05:20 PM - Edit history (1)

[llmart]

76. If nothing else, this thread has brought me a whole lot of comic relief after this week.

Sometimes I wonder if I come to DU's website every day for the news and views or just because some of the posters are so quick-witted and have such bawdy senses of humor.

If Paltrow's nuttiness is just a PR stunt, then at the very least she's got people talking about her or googling her name to see who the hell she is.

[3catwoman3]

81. I do not wonder if I come to DU because...

...some of the members are so quick-witted or have such bawdy senses of humor. That is EXACTLY why I come here and what attracted me to DU in the first place.

That, and the general intellectual sophistication of the members.

[delisen]

79. Definitely need that Wealth Tax. Refugee children in cages,

the dead and dying scorched critters in Australia, and the dreadfully privileged Paltrow marketing her $75 candles to the vapid class.

[tavernier]

80. I guess it beats the candles they burn in the White House:

“This Smells Like My Ass Hole.”

[jberryhill]

104. That's not from the candles, unfortunately

[MineralMan]

82. This goes to prove that you can sell anything to some people.

Not to everyone, but to some. Perhaps Goop is all a big prank. I mean there is enormous humor in getting people to pay $75 for a candle with the name, "This Smells Like My Vagina." Think about it. Ms. Paltrow is laughing her perfumed ass off right now. As well she might.

A marketing prank. And a very good one, at that.

[Blue_true]

93. There is an adequate supply of fools in this country, Trump found 63 million of them. nt

[MineralMan]

94. Very good point, indeed!

[Sonny Mirviss]

102. Sort of what we used to hear about Catholic nuns and candles tbh.

At least where I grew up.

[abakan]

105. Tacky tacky tasteless

[klook]

118. "I dunno, smells more like anise to me." (nt)

[jmowreader]

127. So...what does an egg-shaped rock smell like, anyway?

[Kaleva]

129. Depends greatly on where you had it inserted.

[DBoon]

128. You may blame boomers for the "pet rock"

This however is another dimension of absurd scam

[tblue37]

130. Creepy. nt

[krispos42]

131. Tiny hands stained with Big Mac sauce seen wriggling frantically towards it.

As an aside... prove it.

[11 Bravo]

132. Having engaged in extensive study over the years ...

(although with no extracurricular research during the last 30 years, in which time I have been happily married), I can state categorically that no two smell exactly alike.

[DenverJared]

133. It would make a nice gag gift

but some may buy it just out of curiosity, primarily men. Although $75 is quite steep

[gopiscrap]

134. welcome to DU