What advice would you give to someone who has to walk through abortion protesters?

[Maine-ah]

Going to have to walk through an angry crowd in a couple of weeks, and I've never had to do that before. What's your advice DU?


edited - I can't spell today, apparently.

[cbayer]

1. Hold your head high, make no eye contact and move with purpose.

Anyway, that is what I would do.

[Maine-ah]

5. thanks, cbayer.

I'm a little bit scared, but that's what they want, isn't it?

[marlakay]

25. I agree with what she said

And as a former pro lifer who has been pro choice for a long time now...know that each one of those people could change like me given the right circumstance.

I was so strong at one point in my life I thought it was murder...what happened is my youngest daughter had an abortion. She asked me to come to the hospital with her and her boyfriend. Hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I am there for my kids regardless of my beliefs.

Afterwards over a period of time I realized I couldn't think of my daughter as a murderer and that opened up my mind to choice which over time changed me to where I am pro choice now.

So when you walk through those protestors remember what I said, they are just honestly believing they are saving people from a bad thing and don't really understand. Unless they have to live it like me they probably won't change. It's a pretty strong viewpoint.

[cbayer]

34. Exactly. Their aim is to intimidate you, right, so don't let them think they can.

You are very brave and are doing something really good. Don't let them know they could get to you.

[thecrow]

53. Put your ipod on loud and wear sunglasses

Maybe an NRA pin, and carry a baseball bat....?

[hifiguy]

44. That sounds like excellent advice to me.

Don't give the bastards the satisfaction of paying any attention to them.

[slackmaster]

45. Yes, this is exactly correct. Plus wear some thick-soled boots to protect your feet...

...and give yourself just a little extra height.

[Solly Mack]

2. Keep your head up. Be alert. Keep walking. Don't engage.

[Maine-ah]

3. sound advice I think.

I'm trying to not be nervous about this.

[Solly Mack]

13. Being nervous is smart (and only natural) because danger is always a possibility.

No one wants screaming maniacs in their face. Be mindful of those around you.

You'll do fine.

Thank you for doing it.

[snooper2]

4. hold a cross up to them like they are vampires

I did it with my fingers a couple years ago when I went through some fundies....They didn't really like it

[Maine-ah]

6. lol

should I carry some wooden stakes too?

Thanks for making me giggle - I need it at the moment.

[Kalidurga]

7. Oooooooooh I was going to go with what Cbayer said.

But, now I am torn with the response to hold up a finger cross. I guess I would go with whatever mood struck me at the time. In any case avoid an angry response, it won't do anyone any good. You aren't going to win hearts and souls on this trip. So, just do what you have to do to hold on to your sanity.

[Maine-ah]

10. yeah, I'd rather not make angry mob

any angrier. I'm not really in the mood for being shot at or bombed.....

[krispos42]

98. At this point, an angry mob might be a good thing

Force a police response. I'd love to see the fuzz come down as hard on the Talibornagain protesters as they do on OWS.


Oh, the vision... a riot officer walking down a line of anti-abortion zealots and pumping them full of bear-grade pepper spray...

[backscatter712]

107. I've heard of escorts or patients hitting overly aggressive fetus-fetishists with the happy sauce.

Adjusts their attitude really fast!

[Odin2005]

8. Give them the finger.

[Maine-ah]

12. the thought crossed my mind.

like just before I get through the door. Flip 'em off.

meh, I'll stick to peaceful and purposeful and my head up and high.

[HERVEPA]

29. Bad idea! (from a planned parenthood escort of twenty years here)

I hope there will be escorts to help you.

[librechik]

86. The planned Parenthood Clinic in my neighborhood has a big WELCOME! COME ON IN! sign

no escorts needed for us, although I used to see protestors there. They went away when I started taking video of them heh --They crossed the street & tried to make me stop, but i was standing on my own property!

[HERVEPA]

109. We get 70-100 of them the 3rd Saturday of every month.

Cameras don't scare them.

[Mojorabbit]

9. ((Hug)). nt

[Maine-ah]

14. thanks, Mojorabbit

[porphyrian]

11. Don't listen to them, either.

They will say horrible things to you. Expect it and don't pay attention - they have the problem, not you.

[lunatica]

15. Can you take a friend who is big and kind scary looking?

I would try to take a friend who would make people think twice about getting in my face. It's bad enough that you have to go there, much less have people screaming obscenities at you.

[Maine-ah]

20. A girlfriend will be going with me.

unfortunately, my husband runs a business and we both decided this would be fine. Both the GF and I are pretty small though. But no other options are available.

[hifiguy]

46. Do you have a large, bearded, bearlike male friend?

A big, biker-looking guy would make them back off in a big hurry even if he's a real teddy bear IRL.

[kctim]

66. She would if she was in KC

[CTyankee]

82. I think that's good advice. I worked for a woman's clinic where abortions were

performed back in the late 80s, early 90s, which was the height of their antics. I used to walk in every day and they were out in force on the days the abortions were performed. One deranged lady tried to chain herself to a sidewalk pole. One old guy had a van with huge blown up photos of what he alleged were "aborted fetuses" and he would carry a bullhorn and yell and people going into the clinic. His name was Stanley and he was there every week. it was a circus. A few of them prayed. One older lady pushed an empty baby stroller and cried "mommy, mommy, don't kill me..."

All this made me furious but I kept my mouth shut and wished I could moon these people!

[librechik]

16. bring you own pro choice sign with graphic photos of executions n/t

love the fetus hate the child

[Maine-ah]

21. right?

it's always about the fetus.

We already have one child, and we're both older - I'm pushing 40, with strong symptoms of heading into menopause. The women in my family go early....I just don't think I can do this again. We have time to change our mind, but this is the decision at the moment.

[LittlestStar]

110. I am 42 and would do the same.

I have a boy and a girl, and feel way too old to have a healthy baby at this point or be a good mother. My neighbor even has a new baby and I have no inclination to even look at her, much less hold her. I think we just know when we are DONE.

Sorry you have to go through it though.

[loyalsister]

27. Wear a shirt or hat

advocating adoption of foster children.

[HERVEPA]

39. No!

[Sophiegirl]

83. A photo with more impact..

...would be like on the Save the Children ads. Bloated bellys from malnutrition, flies all around their little sad faces, living in terrible conditions.

Caption?

[HappyMe]

17. Hold your head up, don't make eye contact,

do not respond to anything they say.

[LunaSea]

18. All excellent advice

You might consider taking a loudmouth theatric friend along to create a diversion.
Have them point to the sky and scream they see Jesus, or "look everyone, there's a busload of wimmins sneaking in the back"

Fundies are easily distracted.

[HERVEPA]

30. Bad idea.

[Brickbat]

19. Smile and laugh. It relaxes you. Or stick out your tongue in a playful way. That's what I always do.

[cr8tvlde]

22. Maybe one or two of those Garlic Braids?

But seriously, may you have inner fortitude and outer courage and remember those who made it possible ... many of us older women plus Roe vs. Wade.

Also, a suggestion to get a couple of other supportive folk to flank you...even just as psychic protection...really. Maybe give a call to the clinic and ask them?

[Maine-ah]

23. all great advice, everyone!

Thank you. I'm feeling a bit better about having to go through this.

[patrice]

24. Strive in EVERY detail you possibly can to demonstrate that they do not exist.

This is between you & ONLY those you CHOOSE to include.

It's none of their DAMNED business and, sorry to say, I do mean damned and I think the history of this country pretty much supports that, especially ever since 2000.

[HERVEPA]

33. Exactly

[patrice]

41. I'd be thinking about non-verbal language: the emotion on my face, the expressions of my movements,

my use of the physical space and maybe even proximity (though there'd be risks in getting too close, or even walking right through them, so that'd be going too far).

[HERVEPA]

65. She may have to walk thought them, depending on escort situation and...

whether there is any police presence.

[LadyHawkAZ]

26. Head up, shoulders squared, and completely ignore them

no matter what they say.

[thatgemguy]

28. Ask where their teenage daughters are...

I worked in a building with a women's health clinic on one of the floors. Every Saturday morning, I would have to walk through protesters.

One day, they got in and spread buckets of tar inside the clinic, let's say the arrests that followed took some people away for a while.

[leftynyc]

31. Hold your head high

If you don't have an ipod, try and borrow one and turn the volume up as high as you can and just keep walking. Don't engage.

[Lint Head]

32. Walk by. Wave and smile at them. Say something as you walk like,

"I didn't realize there would be such a turn out for me today. I don't have time for autographs." Then walk on into the building.
Ignore anything they say. They cannot touch you or you can file charges or battery.

[HERVEPA]

42. Nope. Don't engage.

[madashelltoo]

35. Been there, done that.

Put on your subway face (expression). What's that? In my face, in my space, on your ass. Don't direct it at anyone, just telegraph it. Even if you're scared shitless, tilt your head and bluff them bitches. They ain't in no big hurry to git knocked down either.

[Xithras]

36. Eat lots of beans

If ever there was a time to ignore the societal taboo on farting in public, that's it.

Then again, I've never completely abandoned my inner 12 year old, so YMMV

In all seriousness, about 15 years ago my former company did some web work to get a local PP office online, and the two people tasked with the job were a 19 year old design intern and a nearly 50 year old graphic artist. On their last trip out of the office, as they were walking through the protesters, the young intern wrapped her arm around her much older coworker and said to him, "Wow honey, that was the most comfortable abortion I've had this year!"

Abortion protesters apparently lack any sense of humor AND lack the ability to discern sarcasm. Several of the protesters followed them back to their car, shouting epithets and hellfire the whole way. She later told me that she wouldn't have done it if she's known how creepy "those people" really are. If you do ANYTHING other than just walk through them, just do so with the awareness that it may lead to some intimidating behavior.

[HERVEPA]

37. Advice from a Planned Parenthood patient escort (for the last twenty years)

Ignore some of the advice in people's well-meaning comments above.

Do not engage them!

If there are escorts there, let them walk with you.

Keep walking, don't stop.

Any engagement with the antis will make it more difficult for you, the person accompanying you, and the escorts, if any.

The idea is to get into the facility, not to make a point. They are schmucks and will be delighted if you engage them.

Don't speak your name or your companion's name while walking. If they hear it, they will play off it.

Don't take any literature they hand you.

If they touch you, holler loudly that they are not allowed to touch you.

Good luck, and don't worry about it too much.

[Maine-ah]

47. wow, I didn't know that people did escorting for this.

hat is off to you! Thank you for being there for the women who need it!

[HERVEPA]

57. You're Welcome

If you have any time and have the temperament for it, you might consider volunteering.
If there are escorts where you are going, the clinic should have told you they would be there, and how to recognize them.
They usually were yellow pinnies (at least here in Phila.)

[HERVEPA]

59. In Florida a few years ago, an escort was shot and killed.

Most of us have been tripped or kicked once in a while.

[ohheckyeah]

38. It's all about attitude.

Head up and put on a look of "you do NOT want to fuck with me." You know, the look you give your spouse when he's messing with you.

I'm only 5'2" tall but when I have that look people don't screw around with me.

I'm really sorry you even have to think about dealing with these assholes. If I lived close to you, I would go with you.

[Maine-ah]

51. I'm even shorter than you!

part of the reason why I'm a bit nervous. I'm not even 5 feet tall. I'm easily over powered, especially in a crowd situation.

[ohheckyeah]

81. I have a grown niece

who is the mother of two and she is 4' 10" tall. Now, that's short!

Put on your mean face....you'll be okay. I hope all goes well.

[Maine-ah]

92. I've got one inch on her!

woo-hoo feelin' tall!


Grrrr!

[ohheckyeah]

111. when my nieces and nephews started

getting taller than I am and would test their boundaries, I would remind them that I may be little but I'm fierce. They never quite knew if I was serious or not.

[mailman82]

40. This Retired Old Marine

would be proud to walk with you!

[Maine-ah]

54. and I would be proud to have you by my side

[yellerpup]

43. You owe no one an apology

or explanation. You are there on your own business, which is none of theirs. Courage.

[msanthrope]

48. 1,000 yard stare and refuse to engage. They want engagement, don't give it to them. nt

[slackmaster]

49. I've done this before. cbayer's reply is spot on. Don't engage them, don't let them intimidate you.

Wear heavy work boots.

[DawgHouse]

50. Ignore them. Do not engage them at all. n/t

[haele]

52. Keep your eyes on your destination and keep moving.

walk slightly sideways as you would in a thicket so you can shoulder off anyone who gets too close, but never look at them or acknowledge them. Think of them as nasty branches in your way to doing whatever you had to do.
Remember they think of you as the enemy just for being there, even if you're just going in for a checkup or to another department in the health facility and not for any woman-care or abortion or contraception. They want to rattle you - they aren't there to engage you in conversation, they don't care about pregnant women or anyone else in the clinic, they certainly don't care about children, babies, or fetuses, despite all their rhetoric - they're just there to get celestial brownie points from their god, and if they can turn you away, they've won.

Now-a-days, it's easier - they can't block access or try to restrain you. I used to do escort in the bad old 1980's and 1990's when they could.
So if someone does gets too close (within touching distance), you can just calmly raise your voice to say "Back off or I'll get you arrested" as you walk on. But never, ever stop until you get into the building.


Haele

[Maine-ah]

56. great advice, haele!

Thank you

[Aristus]

55. All of the above advice for walking tall, with reserve and dignity, is excellent.

I couldn't improve on it, so I will just repeat it. We are better than they are, however well-meaning they may be; (and I'm not convinced all of them are. I think some people just like to hurl threats and abuse.)

I will also repeat that we are here with you and for you.

I wish I could be there to escort you to and from. I'm pretty broad-shouldered, and can make a pretty mean face. Nobody has to know that I hate confrontations. They'll just know not to mess with you...

[bongbong]

58. Wear earplugs

Good ones that really filter out the sound.

[brewens]

60. Pepper spray? I know, but wouldn't it be great! n/t

[dogman]

61. Wear a burka.

Not only will it provide cover, they might rush you to the door. Seriously, good luck and remember it is you, not them.

[FightForMichigan]

62. I used to be a clinic escort

I saw a lot of these "actions" and here's what I think.

Bottom line - do what you need to do for you.

If that means carrying an umbrella as a shield, do it. If that means walking slowly and looking at each of them in the eye as you pass by, do it. If that means taking several friends to be a human shield, do it. If that means you go in cussing and screaming, do it. If you want to stop and talk to them, go ahead, but you won't change their minds. If they want to talk to you and you don't, don't let them even slow you down.

Now. That's what you do for you.

If you feel like "I got this" and you're going for style points by having an affect on them, that's harder. People who protest clinics probably have varying motivations. Some probably actually care and, in their own mind, at least, want to help. Some are there because they want to feel smug and superior. Some are there because they are angry and/or hate women.

The ones that are trying to be compassionate - thanks but no thanks.

The ones who feel smug, look them right in the eye as you go by. They want you cowed and ashamed. Don't give it to them.

The ones who are angry and calling people murderers? Damn. Those ones ar the scary ones. What they want is a response. Give them none. They're not even there.

[noiretextatique]

63. claim your space

Last edited Tue Sep 11, 2012, 03:48 PM - Edit history (2)

there is a way to claim your space without being intimidating or aggressive. bullies love to try to get in your space.

[raccoon]

88. Ain't that the truth? "bullies love to take to get in your space. " nt

[Hassin Bin Sober]

64. Mace.

Not the spray.

[Kalidurga]

104. Walk softly and carry a big mace? nt

[janlyn]

67. Been there done that...

I held my chin a few degrees higher and put on my british face.(It's that stone cold, you are beneath me so eff off look!!! ) LOL
And walked on through.

And even though I am british,you too can pull off that face!!! Just watch film clips of the Queen!!!


And remember..even though we can't walk with you, we are there in spirit!!!!

[Maine-ah]

71. If I pulled off anything British

it would be the ministry of silly walks sketch from MP

[janlyn]

73. LOL that would be priceless..

Can you imagine the looks on their faces!!! AHHAHHAHAHA!!

[JohnnyRingo]

68. Seek advice from the clinic before you go.

They deal with it every day and I'm sure they can help.

[MineralMan]

93. That's excellent advice. If there are protestors,

there will probably be escorts, too. The clinic where I used to live would call regular escorts when they knew protesters would be there. I was usually available, and would drop my work to help out.

[Extend a Hand]

69. wear an ipod

Blasting your favorite song. Wear sunglasses so they can't try to make eye contact with you. And above all else remember that the number ONE feeling after an abortion that most women report is RELIEF!

[sinkingfeeling]

70. Head high, steady pace, look straight ahead, and think about something else.

[tapermaker]

72. Pull up in front of the place and park as close as possible .

. make sure you have I love planned parenthood stickers plastered all over the car. make sure to coat them in ricin then casually flip them off on your way in . I am sure they wont bother anyone ever again after that.

[TlalocW]

74. I can think of several things

That *I* would do if I weren't male and had friends there to help out, and I were the same strange person, just the other gender. And it comes from years of purposely doing strange things to throw people off, misdirect them, etc. However, reading some of the advice of the support staff people, and even though I lived in Wichita during Operation Rescue's 1991 Summer of Mercy, or whatever they called it, I know I don't understand what you're going through or what you're going to go through...

That said...

Gorilla costume(s).

1. Easy idea. You wear it, and your friend carries flowers, balloons, etc. (and possibly mace). Have the friend explain that you're just there for a birthday, did not know what the business was, but it's your jobs, etc. You are covered up and thus can't be photographed or recognized. You're not there to get an abortion so they can't be angry with you, etc. and you have the satisfaction of putting one over on them.
2. Harder idea. 10 to 12 friends. All in gorilla costumes; all descending at the same time. Advantage of this is that when you leave, you leave together in gorilla costumes. Once again, you've freaked people out, and everyone has remained anonymous.

TlalocW

[Maine-ah]

84. not only do I have access to a gorilla costume...

but a banana costume as well....

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

75. An old college roommate....

....got them one time....

We had abortion protesters on Tremont Street in Boston every week because there's a PP clinic there. As my roommate was walking to class one day, a guys jumps in front of him....

"HAVE YOU ACCEPTED JESUS AS YOUR PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOR????"

My roommate replies: "No....on Judgement Day my personal Lord and Savior of darkness shall feast on the bones, blood and miserable souls of those who wasted their time standing on the street with a stupid aborted fetus sign."

Guy sputtered and backed away.

Of course, my roommate was a scary looking dude, which helped.

[riverbendviewgal]

76. Make no eye contact

wear ear plugs or a headphone with inspirational or favorite music, walk with a friend.


I would walk in the city and not make eye contact...never had problems.

[robinlynne]

77. have a friend walk with you.

[southernyankeebelle]

78. I agree do not make eye conact and walk with a strong purpose. You are not doing anything

that is illegal. Make sure you bring calm people with you. Good luck.

[barbtries]

79. keep your head up,

your eyes forward, and imagine all those haters undergoing abortions. undoubtedly many of them have and more of them eventually will. they're pious hypocrites without a truly christian bone among them.

nothing you can do for your friend will make it a happy day. do your best to not let them shame her. Shame on them!

if the place is near your home, i'd advise driving by so you know what it's like, can plan your path, etc.

[Raine]

80. I used to do clinic defense. Walk at a steady pace, look straight ahead but be aware of where they

are and what they're doing. Don't look at their pictures and under no circumstances make a comment of any kind to them. No matter what just keep on walking toward the entrance.

[Initech]

85. Don't wear any nice clothing.

[riderinthestorm]

87. Not all who go to those clinics are going for an abortion. Some go for health care, contraception

etc.

The protesters are looking for people who look vulnerable and scared. They are targeting a population that they feel may be persuadable.

I just took my daughter for birth control pills at our local Planned Parenthood. The protesters were there but since we walked confidently to the door, relaxed, without making eye contact, we weren't hassled by them. They stayed their distance away and waved signs at us but they didn't approach.

Carry yourself without fear. You are taking care of your health and that's the most important thing. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of taking care of your health.


Edited to add: make sure you have your photo ID out and ready to show them at the door. There are now guards or a video screening required to gain entry to the locked facilities (because of the bombings and other threats everyone is screened). To make it go faster, and so you aren't standing at the door even one second longer than you have to, make sure you have your photo ID in your hand and ready to show them so you gain immediate entrance.

[mitchtv]

89. some cute ideas, funny too

I would arrive like a rockstar, shades, haughty, refuse some autographs,"no Photographs", loudly thank the fans for coming , seeing none of them, be Norma Desmond

[Drale]

90. Eat something that gives you gas

and as your walking through the crowd let one rip.

[Erose999]

99. Also known as "crop dusting", hahahah

[MineralMan]

91. I've been an escort many times at clinics.

If there are escorts, use them. If not, shut the protesters out, don't make eye contact, and walk on. They won't touch you, but if they do, call 911, after you're inside. Simply don't acknowledge their presence at all. Walk on.

I wish I could be there to escort you.

[ErikJ]

94. Carry big boombox on your shoulder playing protest song real loud.

Something like Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the Machine. The last minute is intense. Or maybe a more meloow peace protest song.

[Erose999]

95. Don't react to them. Don't show any emotion.

[krispos42]

96. Ask them why they're too lazy to get a job.

Ask if they're on welfare.

[Zoeisright]

97. Don't brush your teeth for a couple of days and breathe on them.

[davsand]

100. I really agree with the folks who say don't engage them.

Back in the even darker ages I used to be a clinic escort--like a lot of others on here, I'm realizing. I also used to go out front for NARAL locally when it was needed. I think maybe the most public event was being on TV in the local student union holding a mock trial for Henry Hyde and the Hyde Amendment. My mom saw it on the evening news and called me up shrieking "Have you LOST your mind?"



Anyhow, those folks out there in front of a clinic are a huge pain in the ass, and some of them do mean well. Others in the crowd--not so much. It is those few others that creep us all out the most, and they really ARE a minority in every way. I have to say, you may be worried about a non-event, however. It might well be that the day you go in they can't muster a group. Has it been a case of an ongoing protest where you live? What does the clinic suggest? I'd bet that if the locals are that active, the clinic will have something they can offer you. They are pros at this stuff. I dunno what that clinic does procedurally, however, some clinics will have a side or back door that they open up an hour or two ahead of office hours so you can get in or out without running an emotional gauntlet.

IF the protesters are out there, the headphone thing is a big help, as are a pair of dark sunglasses. I'd also suggest that you wear comfy clothing and shoes that are either flats or else something you can maneuver it. Those protesters know what they can and cannot do, and 99.99% of the time everybody plays their role of screaming at the sinner and it is done. It is, however, that .01% of the time, however, that can leave you feeling glad you went in with a plan.

Frankly, while I applaud the guys on here who are willing to wade into this, I really think that a man walking in and out of there as an escort is in a really tough place. For my money, you want an old lady with an attitude doing that clinic escort gig. Nobody fucks with granny, and there is a very real societal reluctance to mess with a senior. Seriously.

I am sorry you are facing this. I only wish we all could be there to surround you and keep you isolated from anything any more unhappy than what you already are. Peace to you, and remember always that it is YOUR body and your choice.





Laura

[yourout]

101. earplugs, a rainsuit, and an ex-NFL lineman as an escort.

That or an uzi.

[ErikJ]

102. Dress like a nun. nt

[chelsea0011]

103. Been there. Hopefully, there is a buffer zone. They may yell (or some will just try to talk)

to you about other options. Although they have a right to say things to you, they cannot block your path or touch you. If this happens, there may be a police officer there and you should alert them. There whole point is to make it unpleasant and get you to turn around or do something stupid like confront them. Above all, just walk directly to your destination. Good luck.

[DrewFlorida]

105. If I were a republican, though I'm not, I would tell you to "Stand Your Ground".

[backscatter712]

106. Hook up with an escort, and don't charge through that mob alone.

And just quickly glancing, I've seen that a couple clinic escorts have posted - their advice is better than mine.

[tosh]

108. All of us in this thread will be with you in spirit.

Remember that.

[ProgressiveProfessor]

112. Hold my hand

I've done some escorting over the years