Anatomy of a family financial disaster
Hi all,
I thought I would write a short synopsis of how I got to where I was yesterday. Here's the thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021314507
My husband, Chuck, and I got married on Bastille Day 1984. He had been a Type I Diabetic since age 3 but was in remarkably good health. At the time he was the co-director of a local peace and justice group in Grand Rapids that was originated by the Quakers but branched out. They were mainly concerned with Latin American indigenous issues and Palestinian rights. Chuck decided that even though his job was noble, it didn't pay enough so he began working as a house painter. Even though he was a member of MENSA, he loved painting. He was hired by the hottest painting business in town. It's amazing how much money a good painter can make! I work at a public university with good benefits but the pay isn't that hot. Life was good in the 1990's. We were able to sock money away, buy a house, and managed to go to Maui every other year to watch the humpback whales. We didn't have children. Not a conscious decision, it just never happened. We had cats instead.
Fast forward to 2000. Chuck blew out his shoulders on an industrial job hand painting thick, fire-retardant paint on overhead water pipes for fire suppression. He subsequently had 2 failed shoulder surgeries, most likely complicated by his diabetes. He went on disability which lowered our income considerably, but we were ok, we just downgraded a few things. After 6 months or so, the disability insurance company decided that Chuck wasn't going to get better so they settled a paltry final settlement. The lawyers said that's the best we could do. That ran out quickly and we found ourselves struggling on less than 2/3 of our previous income. Chuck applied for SS Disability and the waiting began. We had a hard time making the mortgage payments, so we refinanced our house which ate up equity, but it kept us in it. It took almost 4 YEARS for Chuck's disability to be approved, and by that time we owed the bank more that Chuck's retroactive Social Security was. We were in deep trouble. We floundered along for several more months until it became clear that we just couldn't keep our house any longer. We sold it one step ahead of the bank and netted nothing. We moved into an apartment.
About this time I noticed Chuck was getting a little forgetful and really knew something was wrong when he took a month's worth of blood pressure medication in 4 days because he couldn't remember that he had already taken his meds. Oh, oh. He was diagnosed with vascular dementia and his health has gone downhill from there.
Fast forward to the present and my current predicament. Chuck has been in the nursing home for 18 months now. Insurance covered the first year and we applied for supplemental Medicaid which was initially turned down. This created a 3-month lag in payments that we were responsible for. The nursing home has taken all of Chuck's Social Security except for $60/month for expenses. I got socked with a huge bill a few months ago that I struggled to pay even in installments. I juggled too much and all the balls dropped last week when I came home one day and found an eviction notice taped to my door. Holy shit.
Thanks to you wonderful people I believe I will be able to avoid eviction. This is also a one-time cash flow issue because Chuck's Medicaid was approved so now I won't have a nursing home bill and I make enough to cover monthly expenses. This just goes to show you that one unexpected bill can be catastrophic.
I'm writing this as a cautionary tale for our younger DUers. Please start planning early for these kinds of disasters. I don't think we were spendthrifts, but looking back on it we should have unloaded our house much sooner than we did. Please think long term even though it's not that much fun!
Again, thank you all so much. I love every last one of you and I will never forget your kindness for as long as I live.
Diane
= new reply since forum marked as read
concern for you, so I hope your financial burdens are reduced to the point that you can focus your attention on the loves in your life. 
you and your wife should not be forced to make decisions like this because we have such a horrible medical care system.
But you were very smart to think ahead about how this would affect her. I'm so sorry to know that you had to do it.
i feel for all you're enduring at this time and am so happy that DU came through for you.
where something like this could happen. 
The hoops, the delays, the financial strain -- fuck that shit.
to you catbyte.