LEAKED CDC GUIDELINES FOR THE USE OF BLEACH AS TREATMENT FOR COVID-19

[Doodley]

USING BLEACH FOR THE TREATMENT OF COVID-19
CDC GUIDELINES

SUMMARY
Chlorine is a chemical found in bleach that inhibits bacterial growth in water. This has led some to believe that it is a suitable treatment for Covid-19, which is not a bacteria, but a virus.
President Trump, for example believes that the warning on household bleach that states “not for internal use,” means that bleach should not be used indoors. He has proposed a series of bleach injections to combat Covid-19. This is because he is smarter than the scientists and “only he can fix it.”

EXPERTISE
President Trump has previously exhibited world-class expertise in the area of using bleach. For example, in 2016 he said of his political rival, Hillary Clinton, “She bleached hundreds of thousands of emails.” He demonstrated a solid understanding of how to forensically remove unwanted emails using bleach. This extraordinary knowledge has given Trump a deep understanding of how bleach can combat a pandemic.

SIDE EFFECTS
However, chlorine poisoning can occur when bleach is taken internally. The effect of bleach on mucosal surfaces inside the body, including the water in the digestive tract, can lead to a build-up of hydrochloric acid and hypochlorous acid, and this can be life-threatening.

The side effects of injecting bleach into the body include:

• Skin discolorization (typically orange).
• Chronic Vanity Syndrome.
• Obsessive Hair Combover Disorder.
• Toxic Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
• Delusions (a perception of living in a reality TV show).
• Paranoia (distrust in all others, especially minorities).
• An obsession with ratings.
• Pathological lying.


TREATMENT

If you see somebody exhibiting these symptoms, follow the guidance provided by President Trump and apply this three-step treatment.

Step One
• Take a one-gallon bottle of household bleach, remove cap (MAGA cap can be left in place).

Step Two
• Shove it up his ass.

Step Three
• Leave in position overnight.

Repeat treatment each day until all symptoms have been relieved.

[CatWoman]

1. K; R

[RandySF]

2. I fucking held my breath when I clicked his OP

[MontanaMama]

5. Jeezus.

I did too.

[SheltieLover]

3. The side effects speak volumes.

[Traildogbob]

4. This treatment....

Like all disinfectants, only kills 99.9 percent of bad bugs. What the hell can we do when that .1 percent bug gets loose. That is one bad ass bug. It will kill us all, even with bleach and Lysol shots
. Pray trump is gone when Jina releases that one.

[Beartracks]

6. Final step: Rinse clean on the first Tuesday of November. n/t

[Gothmog]

7. For this thread

Link to tweet