'I Just Can't Do This': Harried Parents Are Giving Up on Home schooling

[Demovictory9]

https://www.newser.com/story/290070/i-just-cant-do-this-harried-parents-are-giving-up.html?utm_source=part&utm_medium=uol&utm_campaign=rss_world_img_b

Frustration is mounting as more families across the US enter their second or even third week of distance learning—and some overwhelmed parents say it will be their last, the AP reports. Amid the barrage of learning apps, video meet-ups, and e-mailed assignments that pass as pandemic home school, some frustrated and exhausted parents are choosing to disconnect entirely for the rest of the academic year. Others are cramming all their children's school work into the weekend or even a single day. "We tried to make it work the first week. We put together a schedule, and what we found is that forcing a child who is that young into a fake teaching situation is really, really hard," says Massachusetts mom Alexandra Nicholson, whose son is in kindergarten.

"I'd rather have him watch classic Godzilla movies and play in the yard and pretend to be a Jedi rather than figure out basic math," she adds. That stress is only compounded for families with multiple children in different grades, or when parents work long hours outside the home. In some cases, older siblings must watch younger ones during the day, leaving no time for school work. "I think the pressure is on and I think it's on even more for some of our low-income families," says Rachel Pearl, chief program officer for Friends of the Children-Portland. One Pennsylvania mom says she finally broke down last week when her fourth-grade son and second-grade daughter each had assignments due: "I was feeling like a failure," she says. "I thought, 'I just can't do this.'"

https://www.newser.com/article/11a2f50d87922deef40d710887acdd04/i-just-cant-do-this-harried-parents-forgo-home-school.html

[marlakay]

1. My daughter with two boys in

6th and 8th grade has been very challenged and she is my brainiac who got straight A’s in college, she is having a hard time remembering Algebra 2 to help my grandson. She told me mom I so appreciate the teachers even more and she is wondering how parents are handling helping the kids especially if they didn’t finish a lot of schooling.

But that said she told me even if Texas opens it up she is not sure when she will send the kids back, she doesn’t want anyone in family to catch the virus.

[BigmanPigman]

4. When I had to teach my first 6th grade Gifted class

I had to relearn all the stuff I had forgotten 25 years earlier. Each night I had to do my own homework so I could teach 39 11-year olds the next day (all day, every subject and no aide or prep time). At least they could sit still for 30 min, that was a rarity when I ended up teaching 25 6-year olds all day. With them teachers go home, nap then do your their homework to prepare.

Believe me, teachers do not make enough money for all that they do! It is harder than walking backwards in high heels. Teachers are psychologists, parents, child devel. specialists, etc.

[Victor_c3]

2. I can't imagine having to do this with younger kids and hold a job at the same time

I’m on disability and haven’t worked in years so I have plenty of time to devote to my kids when they’re with me.

My two daughters are in 3rd and 5th grade and are self starters. When my 5th grader is staying at her mom’s place, she figured out that the easiest way to get help is to watch a YouTube video. She also helps her little sister learn too.

I’m wondering what the long-term impact is going to be on our kids’ schooling. I’m not sure if I’d even dare to speculate that schools will be able to re-open like normal in the fall.

[UTUSN]

3. Only Fundies (of all stripes) have the demonic motivation.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

5. Maybe it won't be that much of a tragedy if the kids

get to indulge in free play during this time.

Maybe formal schooling isn't all that important.

Over the years I've told parents they ought to consider home schooling, not because home schooling is necessary, or even necessarily desirable, but because if you consider it, you will give a lot of thought to what you want for your kid's education.

When my oldest was very little, I gave serious thought to home schooling but rather quickly realized that I was not at all suited to being a home schooling mom. So I sent him (and later his younger brother) to conventional schools. But I retained the idea that I could help out or influence what he learned.

And so I want to say here. You don't need to slavishly follow the model of conventional school. You just need to take in the larger notion of learning.

One of the things I realized when I thought about home schooling, was how much time is wasted in just getting kids on task. In a classroom of 15 or 20 or even 40 (my sixth grade class was 40 students) there is a lot of time spent in organizational stuff. In a home school situation, there are usually a lot fewer kids and so a lot less organizational time.

Plus, just think about lots of other things. Go outside. Help fix meals. Feed whatever animals you have. Pick flowers. Read. It hardly matters what you are reading. Just read. Learn to embroider or knit. Bake a cake. It's all good and worthwhile.

[JI7]

6. It's probably best not to feel the pressure to do this

Set aside like 2-3 hours where the kids have to read or do some other work . Leave it up to them what they want to do but it has to be school type stuff and avoid computers .

When schools start use the summer breaks to catch up for kids who might be behind.

[Tipperary]

24. This.

[elleng]

7. I hope schools are not really thinking parents can and will teach technical subjects.

School systems must recognize returning to school will be different, and next school year will be the beginning of an entirely new world for them.


Let Kids Play.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/1160922

[Raine]

8. I have a friend homeschooling her kids now and she's loving it

she's really enjoying getting to spend time with kids and finding it easier then she thought.

[EllieBC]

9. My 2 in school have teachers using 2 different programs.

And trying to get a 10 year old with ASD and ADHD to self motivate and get work done is a PITA. Also I’m struggling with her math because showing work is a lot more steps than it was when I went to school. I feel like I need a math class in how to teach how they want it taught. The 5 year old is easier. Still she gets a lot of projects for Kindergarten.

[elleng]

10. 10 FUN SELF CONTROL GAMES TO PRACTICE SELF REGULATION SKILLS (NO EQUIPMENT NEEDED)

Self-regulation skills help children to control emotions, thinking, behavior and motor actions in different situations. Throughout the day, children need the ability to tolerate sensations, situations and form appropriate responses. It requires that children control their impulses to stop doing something if needed and to participate in something even if the children does not want to do it. Playing self control games can help children learn the necessary skills to self-regulate while keeping it fun!

https://www.yourtherapysource.com/blog1/2017/05/16/games-practice-self-regulation-skills/?

(From my daughter, occupational therapist.)

[EllieBC]

11. Please tell her she's amazing.

i Never understood what OTs did until my first child. She’s had one since she was 2. And for the last 5 years she’s been with the same therapist and she’s phenomenal. OTs make such a difference for kids that need some extra support or help in navigating things.

[elleng]

12. Thanks. Yes, she is amazing.

She's doing 'distance' work now.

[bamagal62]

13. My daughter's college is offering pass fail option.

I can’t imagine the stress that must be there on middle school parents. I saw a post today that said just stop and have them read. If they’re reading, that’s enough.

[Hortensis]

14. This. I was thinking that selected reading could probably

sub for a fair amount of professionally taught (bless teachers!) curriculum to acceptable effect. And more. They'd not only take in knowledge and all the other mind-developing benefits of reading, but I have trouble imagining a single thing that'd be as beneficial as turning the reluctant readers so many children are into easy readers who enjoy it.

[Hortensis]

15. Responses on this thread are really interesting, and a little heart-wrenching.

My sympathy to all, including teachers. Wonderful teachers, and bless them!

Our kids are reportedly managing okay, one with 10 and 14-year-olds, the other with a 14-year-old. The boys were all already used to doing their homework routinely and using computers for it before, so after some stressful (!) starts, with teachers tearing their hair also, they're apparently on a fairly smooth routine again.

Two boys in early adolescence, but if anyone's taken to drink or popping anxiolytics I haven't heard.

The one boy is allowed to finish the school week in four days if he wants, and he does, and he told me he's studying Spanish on his own. They're in GA and AR, not exactly the most rigorous states educationally, but our kids' schools believe in the importance of education even if not all parents do.

[exboyfil]

16. I don't see sweating anything before 9th grade

except math. I would have my kids to be off the computer for at least four hours everyday. In that time I would expect them to read and write on basically anything that interests them. This could be a problem for poorer families who don't have access to reading materials of course (unless you let them use tablets or phones which I guess would have to be locked down someway).

Of course every family is different. We always required our children to journal when we traveled by car someplace. I developed my own social studies/English curriculum when I partially home schooled my youngest in English and Social Studies in 7th and 8th grade.

For older kids, and this requires money so I know it is limited to middle class people, I would have them work towards preparing for CLEP tests or take online college classes.

[Hortensis]

17. Sounds like a responsible plan. Our kids' kids are still required

by law to attend school, though, to be there when scheduled, and to still do and learn the assigned work and so on as the district requires. Their parents' responsibilities under the law are still in place and much stricter when I was raising them.

[exboyfil]

20. Iowa has very liberal homeschooling laws

So long as you pass the year end aptitude test (and even then I think you have a year grace period). Where it gets dicey is at 9th grade. It is more school dependent, but my daughters were able to transfer back a bunch of college credit for high school credit. Also they received high school credit for online programs as well.

One thing you have to ask yourself is what is the value of a high school diploma if your kids are going to college. My oldest's scholarship was dependent on class ranking (worth about $1,000/yr.), but she might have got it without high school graduation (I know homeschoolers who got that scholarship based upon ACT scores alone). My youngest didn't really get anything for her high school graduation (she started an accelerated nursing program right out of high school).

CLEP is a powerful tool at our state schools. We also have PSEO if the school system doesn't offer the equivalent class at the college level (this is where the high school pays for the college class - tuition is $250/class).

[Hortensis]

23. Great when it's done well. Some of the same things in Georgia.

In a variation, though not home schooling, our grandson expects to have completed several college classes by the time he graduates HS, paid for by the state.

Regarding this situation, though, parents who have not legally opted for home schooling are bound to send their kids to public or private schools. No option for not educating children, here anyway.

Though a lot of the conservative and libertarian extremists who've taken over the Republican Party are working toward doing away with compulsory universal education and the taxes required to pay for it. They don't see a need for to force those not interested to get a HS diploma or that society has an interest in educating more than a few, who will handle it themselves, beyond trade school.

[Drahthaardogs]

18. Parenting styles today are not geared toward this

A lot of kids see their parents as playmates/entertainers. Kids do not know how to self soothe or play alone.

The kids are really over indulged and it shows. It is not the kids' fault either. This comes from parents who have their children in 6 different activities. It has become a status symbol. Private coaches and club sports. The kids never have some down time to figure out who they are and what to do.

This should be a wake up call. It might really be good in some ways.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

21. Seems to me most children are good at entertaining themselves

It is mostly the very young children that have difficulty entertaining themselves. But entertaining themselves is a lot different than educating themselves. Most of them need someone to get after them to do work (a.k.a. some thing they don't consider to be fun).

[Drahthaardogs]

28. You and I must know different kids

All the young people I know are constantly entertainingbt heir children, and not todflers either. 7 and 8 year old kids who literally cannot be told "go outside and play". They NEED the parents to direct them.

It is not their fault.

[Hortensis]

19. I just googled our daughter's AR school district to check, and the news

is about building projects proceeding over the summer, new school board member, HS student with COVID, feeding program busily feeding students at home. Nothing about teaching itself collapsing in chaos as parents fail.

My assumption is that there's some effort to help those who can get up to speed individually and making provisions for students whose parents cannot. Legal responsibilities of both parents and schools to perform are much stricter than when we were raising our kids; even if they're being relaxed in this emergency, they still exist. Of course this close to the end of the school year, it's totally foreseeable that some parents would prefer to give up.

The big problems I'm seeing in the news there and in GA, where our other grandchild is, is where it's extremely hard to impossible for parents for various reasons, not just because they're feeling harassed and unhappy and see an easy out this close to the end of the school year. Like a mother of 6, now all at home and presumably all in different grades, who still has to work full time. One GA county is parking wifi-equipped busses all day for kids without internet; kids bring their school computers to within working distance, guessing many sitting in cars and at picnic tables while they work. Hopefully they'll have that refined before schools "reopen" in August in hellacious GA heat. Some places just haven't managed the digital transition yet and are delivering and picking up paper packets of school work.

[haele]

22. We are having issues with the kidlet and her pre-school sister.

Their school (Pre-K to grade 5, so younger sister is at the same school) re-opened as a Zoom School back in the middle of because they had already started a Chromebook program a couple years ago and Cox Cable started providing low cost WiFi internet for low income families at that time. The younger sister has cabin fever and is starting to bully the older sister. The older leaves her unfinshed homework out for the younger to draw over or tear up, leading to a "dog ate my homework" situation. They both love Zoom School, but it's only 2 hours a day for the older and half an hour a day for the younger, and pretty much ends up being a social meeting.
We just, after much wailing, weeping, and disciplinary actions, got the older caught up to class with the minimal work needed for her to pass second grade in California; three weeks of neglected and "lost" workbooks found and completed over 4 days. Yes, they get early morning run-walks around the block and some outside run and scream time, and plenty of phon/face time with friends and family, but trying to keep them on a schedule similar to school sessions is difficult, the younger just wants to play and the older can't seem to understand her teachers still expect her to put in five to six hours of school work a day both face time and homework. We are trying hard not to hover and to get her to learn to do the work on her own, so failing is a possibility for her 😒.
I suspect the other parents are going through the same issues. Familiarity does tend to breed a certain situational disrespect, as we aren't "Ms. Erin" and "Ms. Julia", we're Grandy and Grandma.

Haele

[KentuckyWoman]

25. Every school and every teacher will course correct next year.

It's OK...

[mcar]

26. I homeschooled my son in 2nd and 5th grade

for various reasons. I also work from home. It was a challenge but I also found it amazing how much he could learn in a short period of time. I quickly learned that we didn't need an entire 6 hour day for school - he could get his assignments finished in an hour or two. I took part in some (non-religious) homeschooling groups online and found that some parents did indeed do schooling only on the weekends or a few weekdays.

He read a lot and yes, played video games. But he also, at least in 2nd grade, spent a lot of time playing outside, riding his bike and enjoying our rural area. We went to museums, watched educational but fun videos. He actually learned history.

SO is a HS math teacher who is working from home. A friend is a middle school language arts teacher also loving working from home. Both agree that the students can get much more done in a shorter time.

I think parents need to give themselves and their kids a break. They'll get through this.

[Wounded Bear]

27. I remember some epic battles of will just helping my daughter with her homework...

Full time homeschooling? I can't imagine that.

I understand their frustration.

[hunter]

29. We have packs of high school and sent-home-from-college students roaming our neighborhood.

They are maintaining their own level of social distancing, maybe two or three feet when they'd usually be shoulder to shoulder, but many are not staying at home isolated with their parents and guardians. To do so goes against the instincts of nearly every teen and young adult human.

My wife's sister is a public high school teacher. All her students are provided with Chromebooks, and internet service providers are offering free service to students who don't already have home service, nevertheless many students have simply vanished.

[lastlib]

30. Parents of small children are learning the answer to that great question---

"ARE you smarter than a fifth-grader?"