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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsAnnual Sturgis Biker Symposium Features Experts Presenting On Advancements In Bar Fight Weaponry
STURGIS, SDGathering from across the country to present the latest scientific and sociological findings on riding hogs and throwing down, the 18th annual Sturgis Motorcycling Research Symposium continued Thursday with experts presenting on cutting-edge advancements in bar fight weaponry.
What really stunned me was seeing how far weve come with analysis of, say, the hurt you can put on some bastard using a broken pool cue versus a shattered Jack Daniels bottle, said Dr. Alex Dog Breath Wallace, one of the nearly 250,000 leather- and bandana-wearing intellectuals of the motorcycling field who attended this years symposium to exchange data on spitting a mouthful of Old Milwaukee into a rival bikers face before putting your knee in their balls as well as conversing about the relative merits of slamming a bar stool down on some cabróns head to scare off his chickenshit gang.
Ive been coming to seminars at Sturgis since 83, and its always stimulating as hell to see the forward leaps weve made in the best way to beat down some high-on-his-chopper prick who just rode into town on his first Super Low and thinks hes hot fucking shit. For example, my colleagues from Montana gave a sterling presentation about the advantages of putting out your lit Marlboro right between some goons eyes and then slamming a shot glass down on his head. Its exhilarating, and, frankly, I cant wait to put some of these discoveries into application on the first dickless fuck who looks at me the wrong way.
At press time, the Sturgis Symposium had had briefly adjourned after a brawl broke out between 50,000 attendees intent on conducting field research.
https://www.theonion.com/annual-sturgis-biker-symposium-features-experts-present-1844706530
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Annual Sturgis Biker Symposium Features Experts Presenting On Advancements In Bar Fight Weaponry (Original Post)
Zorro
Aug 2020
OP
Nevilledog
(51,131 posts)1. Everybody needs a hobby.
Nevilledog
(51,131 posts)2. God.... Fell for an Onion story.
Thing is, I've represented members of the Hell's Angels and I could see them going to something like this.......lol
RainCaster
(10,887 posts)3. I hope they will webcast this for those who couldn't make it
This needs to be on LinkedIn