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demtenjeep

(31,997 posts)
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 10:43 PM Aug 2020

My sister with colon cancer (on hospice) took a turn for the worse today.

I drove down and just laid in bed with her. And just talked. and let her talk and talk when she could . She was sucking down the morphine and taking Dilaud like crazy. The Hospice nurse came and cathed her because she wasn't outputting. .I think it scared her greatly. She wasn't expecting things to be this fast. She has lost 100 lbs.

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My sister with colon cancer (on hospice) took a turn for the worse today. (Original Post) demtenjeep Aug 2020 OP
I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you and your sister. nt tblue37 Aug 2020 #1
I am so sorry, demtenjeep. sheshe2 Aug 2020 #2
I don't know anything that can make this better for either of you, but I'm glad you can be with her. hlthe2b Aug 2020 #3
I am so sorry, demtenjeep mcar Aug 2020 #4
So sorry to hear! 💔 SheltieLover Aug 2020 #5
Sorry to hear this. Jim__ Aug 2020 #6
I'm so sorry. My sister died of colon cancer in 2011. Croney Aug 2020 #7
Precious time now . Sorry it has come to this . Take care and wishing her peace lunasun Aug 2020 #8
I am so sorry to hear that..... chillfactor Aug 2020 #9
So very sorry, demtenjeep. gademocrat7 Aug 2020 #10
... spanone Aug 2020 #11
Wow. Glad u are there. What a heavy experience you are Laura PourMeADrink Aug 2020 #12
Peace be with you. mobeau69 Aug 2020 #13
Oh, sweetie. I am so, so sorry. crickets Aug 2020 #14
Prayers for all concerned, from my end majdrfrtim Aug 2020 #15
It's hard, those last days. So sorry for you both. mountain grammy Aug 2020 #16
I am sorry. blogslut Aug 2020 #17
💖💖💕💕💖💖💕💕💕 for you both. MLAA Aug 2020 #18
I am so sorry. What an awful thing for you both to go through... Hekate Aug 2020 #19
Sending love and prayers to you and your sister. cayugafalls Aug 2020 #20
... MontanaMama Aug 2020 #21
So sorry. Glad you were there. Hoyt Aug 2020 #22
I lost my little sis the same way Sugarcoated Aug 2020 #23
I'm so sorry. 💔 onecaliberal Aug 2020 #24
So sorry. JudyM Aug 2020 #25
I'm sorry to hear this, Demtenjeep Niagara Aug 2020 #26
I am so sorry! raging moderate Aug 2020 #27
Best regards to you & your sister! What a loving brother you are demtenjeep!... Illumination Aug 2020 #28
So hard, so tough. You are are doing a very important thing for you sister. Being there still_one Aug 2020 #29
So very sorry diva77 Aug 2020 #30
Oh my dear demtenjeep.........I am so sorry to hear this. CaliforniaPeggy Aug 2020 #31
Strength and honor. WheelWalker Aug 2020 #32
Ultimately this is something we all face alone. Gore1FL Aug 2020 #33
I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this Docreed2003 Aug 2020 #34
I am so sorry. PoindexterOglethorpe Aug 2020 #35
Hugs to both of you lunatica Aug 2020 #36
I'm a semi-newbie here 6? weeks I have a sister... electric_blue68 Aug 2020 #37
Love and peace to you and your sister. {{big hug}} fierywoman Aug 2020 #38
Deepest sympathy GeoWilliam750 Aug 2020 #39
I wish I could give you a hug of support kimbutgar Aug 2020 #40
So sorry to hear this. peggysue2 Aug 2020 #41
I am truly sorry--we all are--for what she and you are going through renate Aug 2020 #42
I'm so sorry for you and your sister, demtenjeep. smirkymonkey Aug 2020 #43
.. Demovictory9 Aug 2020 #44
I'm so sorry you & your sister are going through this ordeal dlk Aug 2020 #45
I am so sorry...so very sorry. I have one sister and can't imagine going through what you are going Demsrule86 Aug 2020 #46
Here's wishing her peace malaise Aug 2020 #47
I remember my mom babylonsister Aug 2020 #48
Thank you all. I try to be strong for her but I cried all the way back to my home demtenjeep Aug 2020 #49
Your love must be bringing her so much comfort renate Aug 2020 #52
I am so sorry to hear this sad report about your dear sister, demtenjeep. hedda_foil Aug 2020 #50
Gut punch myccrider Aug 2020 #51
Warm white light North Shore Chicago Aug 2020 #53
I am still living with flashbacks of my mom. boston bean Aug 2020 #54
It's very tough. If you can. rent a room in the town she's in and stay. panader0 Aug 2020 #55
I'm so sorry she must go through this... and that you must endure it as well. NurseJackie Aug 2020 #56

hlthe2b

(102,292 posts)
3. I don't know anything that can make this better for either of you, but I'm glad you can be with her.
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 10:48 PM
Aug 2020

I'll be thinking of you.

mcar

(42,334 posts)
4. I am so sorry, demtenjeep
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 10:48 PM
Aug 2020

Cancer is the worst. I am glad for your sister that she is on hospice care. I lost both my parents to cancer, and a beloved SIL.

I hope your sister's journey is pain-free and peaceful.

Croney

(4,661 posts)
7. I'm so sorry. My sister died of colon cancer in 2011.
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 10:53 PM
Aug 2020

She was 59.

Its good that you had time to talk. I hope she experiences comfort and peace.

crickets

(25,981 posts)
14. Oh, sweetie. I am so, so sorry.
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 11:19 PM
Aug 2020

I'm glad to hear that she has medicine for the pain. You are a wonderful sister to be there for her, to listen to her and to give her comfort. My love and strength goes out to you both and to your family to get through this time.

Hekate

(90,714 posts)
19. I am so sorry. What an awful thing for you both to go through...
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 11:24 PM
Aug 2020

Know that she will be at peace and beyond all suffering

cayugafalls

(5,641 posts)
20. Sending love and prayers to you and your sister.
Sun Aug 16, 2020, 11:26 PM
Aug 2020

I know it must be hard, but she knows you love her.

Much love, demtenjeep.

JudyM

(29,251 posts)
25. So sorry.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:05 AM
Aug 2020

Precious time together for both of you, sharing love. I treasure memories of those days before my dad passed. Wishing both of you comfort and peace.

Niagara

(7,627 posts)
26. I'm sorry to hear this, Demtenjeep
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:06 AM
Aug 2020

Last edited Mon Aug 17, 2020, 09:32 AM - Edit history (1)

Sending you and your family strength.


CaliforniaPeggy

(149,640 posts)
31. Oh my dear demtenjeep.........I am so sorry to hear this.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:23 AM
Aug 2020

I am sure she was very glad that you were there with her. Nothing says love like being there in person.

I hope she passes easily, without pain or struggle.

Blessings to you both.

Gore1FL

(21,132 posts)
33. Ultimately this is something we all face alone.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:37 AM
Aug 2020

But the fact that you are there for the moments before speaks volumes. I feel fortunate to have siblings that behave like like you.

Find peace in this horror. When faced with this, you know you did everything right.

PoindexterOglethorpe

(25,862 posts)
35. I am so sorry.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:38 AM
Aug 2020

Can I say I'm glad you have gotten this time with her?

It is always incredibly difficult to lose someone you are close to. I know. It doesn't matter if that person is, like your sister, in hospice and so you already know her end is near, or anyone of the many sudden things that can happen.

Keep in mind that we here at DU love you very much.

electric_blue68

(14,912 posts)
37. I'm a semi-newbie here 6? weeks I have a sister...
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 12:43 AM
Aug 2020

that I love very much and visa versa ... (we've both through medical scares).

I'm so sorry you are near it seems to losing yours
I'm glad you got to be with her. It means a lot.

A few years before my mom died (she had some pre existing conditions) I said to myself because I knew I was going to be devastated... "she wouldn't want me to be too sad for too long" (because she loved me).

You will grieve how ever you will.
I know it helped me from truely as devastating as it was going into a very deep nosedive.

I wish you strength, and hopefully all the support you would want, need.


peggysue2

(10,832 posts)
41. So sorry to hear this.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 01:38 AM
Aug 2020

Lost my sister in January. It's hard. Really, really hard.

Best to you and your family.

renate

(13,776 posts)
42. I am truly sorry--we all are--for what she and you are going through
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 01:39 AM
Aug 2020

Make sure she knows she will be remembered. I think that’s the fear we all have... that after we’re gone our lives won’t have mattered and we won’t be remembered. Reassure her that she will still be part of family gatherings and celebrations.

Honestly, she has thousands of people here thinking of her right now. She is held in love right now. You and she are not alone.

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
43. I'm so sorry for you and your sister, demtenjeep.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 02:25 AM
Aug 2020

I can't imagine how difficult this must be for both of you. It is so wonderful that you can be there for her during this time to ease her fear and pain. My thoughts are with you both at this difficult time.

dlk

(11,569 posts)
45. I'm so sorry you & your sister are going through this ordeal
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 01:08 PM
Aug 2020

Sending prayers of comfort and peace to you both.

Demsrule86

(68,586 posts)
46. I am so sorry...so very sorry. I have one sister and can't imagine going through what you are going
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 01:59 PM
Aug 2020

through.

babylonsister

(171,070 posts)
48. I remember my mom
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 03:45 PM
Aug 2020

enduring this years ago. It is so tough to see a loved one go through this awful cancer; I am glad you have hospice to help you. I hope she can find some comfort, and you, too.

 

demtenjeep

(31,997 posts)
49. Thank you all. I try to be strong for her but I cried all the way back to my home
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 08:21 PM
Aug 2020

this sister is 10 years older than me.

When I was born, our mom had blood clots and had to have extended stays in the hospital.

My sister stayed home from school to take care of me. It was noticed and the school called and accused her of being my mom so women from the church stepped in so she could go back to school.

She is like my second mom and I love her so much. When I hug her there is nothing there to hug

renate

(13,776 posts)
52. Your love must be bringing her so much comfort
Tue Aug 18, 2020, 03:34 AM
Aug 2020

You probably feel helpless and as though you’re not making a big enough difference, but honestly, your presence and love must mean the absolute world to her. You are giving her something so important and precious. As ill as she is, she is feeling cherished, and that is such a wonderful feeling.

hedda_foil

(16,375 posts)
50. I am so sorry to hear this sad report about your dear sister, demtenjeep.
Mon Aug 17, 2020, 09:03 PM
Aug 2020

Your visit with her today sounds like it means the world to her. I know how hard it is to watch her vitality care but the love you share between you will always endure.

❤❤❤❤❤

myccrider

(484 posts)
51. Gut punch
Tue Aug 18, 2020, 02:43 AM
Aug 2020

This hurts the heart. So sorry for you both having to go through this. Hope you can spend more quality time with her and that she is kept comfortable.

boston bean

(36,221 posts)
54. I am still living with flashbacks of my mom.
Tue Aug 18, 2020, 07:48 AM
Aug 2020

I do not think I can write anymore, but please know my heart is with you all.

panader0

(25,816 posts)
55. It's very tough. If you can. rent a room in the town she's in and stay.
Tue Aug 18, 2020, 07:54 AM
Aug 2020

Being with her is all you can do and she needs it. Be strong for her.
Both parents and my best friend died alone. I "knew" they were bad but didn't realize
they'd be gone so quick. I'd love to have those few days back to be with them at the end.

NurseJackie

(42,862 posts)
56. I'm so sorry she must go through this... and that you must endure it as well.
Tue Aug 18, 2020, 07:58 AM
Aug 2020

I've been there and I know that feeling of helplessness... wanting to savor every moment... dreading the moment that the end arrives... and feeling guilty at my own sense of relief. The next few hours, days and weeks will be difficult for you and your family. I hope you're able to draw strength from each other.

Good luck to you all.

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