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Maraya1969

(22,483 posts)
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 07:13 PM Aug 2020

After reading confessions of a former cop I'd like to tell you about an experience I had.

After reading the link from here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100213991655

It really hit me when I read this:

"Police officers will lie about the law, about what’s illegal, or about what they can legally do to you in order to manipulate you into doing what they want."

One night these 2 women came to buy something from a woman who was renting my mother in law apartment. It was tense because of lack of payment for rent etc and I ended up pushing one of them out the door. She wasn't hurt, she didn't fall down. She got right up in my face like she wanted to start a fight and I just wasn't having it. I acted like a dick but not enough for them to call the police, which they did. The women who was renting told me that they did.

So I decided that I would just not open my door. My right to privacy. If they had a problem with me go file a police report.

When the cops, (I believe there were 2) came they started banging loudly on the door I just asked from the other side, "Do you have a warrant?"

Well that cop started yelling and screaming and telling me that he did not need a warrant and that if I didn't open the door he was going to break it down. He scared the shit out of me. Then he went into the mother in law apartment which is in my house but connected with a metal door and started doing the same thing. I was seriously afraid.

So I called 911 and told them what was happening and how they didn't have a warrant. I could hear through the door the he got a call on his little walkie talkie thing and then they just left.

But the next day I called to complain at the sheriff's office and this woman, who said she was a Lieutenant told me that the cops, "Absolutely have a right to go into your house without your permission. Even if they just think you stole something from the store they can go into your house"

I realize now that the term for what I went through then is gaslighting because even though I knew this not to be true I ended up being really confused, thinking maybe I was wrong. But as soon as I got off the phone with her I looked it up and contented myself with my rights.

So I ended up writing a snail mail letter to the sheriff "Personal and confidential" because I didn't want anyone else to get their hands on it and even though by then I realized that they were just lying to me I said something about them not understanding the law and how I thought it was important for them to learn blah blah. I didn't feel comfortable being confrontational at the point in time.

That was it. No one filed a police report and the sheriff never wrote me back. BUT I can understand that if they got me to start doubting myself imagine what they could do with a person not from this country or a minority who feels afraid to start with. Or someone who does not know their rights, (and there are a lot of people who do not know their rights) And by the way he got so mad I believe now that had I opened the door he would have arrested me......because he was so furious that I even questioned him!

I am a pasty white woman aged 62. So I was in my mid 50's when this happened.

22 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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After reading confessions of a former cop I'd like to tell you about an experience I had. (Original Post) Maraya1969 Aug 2020 OP
your rights don't mean shit in the moment Kali Aug 2020 #1
What is "Karen" privilege? Maraya1969 Aug 2020 #2
middle aged white woman Kali Aug 2020 #3
Oh yea. That's me. I am so much more aware now because of video culture!!! Maraya1969 Aug 2020 #4
Maraya did the right thing: Don't open the door... ret5hd Aug 2020 #5
yep Kali Aug 2020 #6
You may have such a privilege but I do not seem to delisen Aug 2020 #7
that is part of my point Kali Aug 2020 #9
Oh I completely agree. But the link that I posted was a former cop talking about how they abused Maraya1969 Aug 2020 #11
As a former State Assistant Prosecutor and current criminal defense attorney Pepsidog Aug 2020 #8
You have brought up a very real issue. PurgedVoter Aug 2020 #10
You just reminded me of the fact that the police lie all the time trying to get people to confess to Maraya1969 Aug 2020 #13
Wow, that is really something. Kudos for holding your ground against those two. gristy Aug 2020 #12
Something similar happened to me hurple Aug 2020 #14
OMG That's horrible. I'm glad you survived. Maraya1969 Aug 2020 #22
you have the right to remain silent. if you say anything you give up that right AllaN01Bear Aug 2020 #15
Same age, same gender, same whiteness, same experience. I get it. yankeepants Aug 2020 #16
I didn't realize how much they abuse their authority BigmanPigman Aug 2020 #17
You are so right seta1950 Aug 2020 #18
Brava Maraya1969 - love the way you handled the situation. nt iluvtennis Aug 2020 #19
My friend had the cops come to her door KT2000 Aug 2020 #20
All cops lie. They lie all the time even when they don't have to Walleye Aug 2020 #21

Kali

(55,014 posts)
1. your rights don't mean shit in the moment
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 07:20 PM
Aug 2020

keep mouth shut and talk to a lawyer if you survive. and I wouldn't have let them in either. I get this same bullshit from border patrol on a regular basis, but I have "Karen" privilege and I know it.

Kali

(55,014 posts)
3. middle aged white woman
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 07:26 PM
Aug 2020

yelling and making a scene (not the racist calling the cops on POC Karen)

ret5hd

(20,495 posts)
5. Maraya did the right thing: Don't open the door...
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 07:55 PM
Aug 2020

without a warrant.

Don’t answer questions.

Don’t agree to let them search your vehicle.

Don’t answer questions.

Ask if you are detained. If not, leave.

Don’t answer questions.

Familiarize yourself with the laws in your state regarding ID.

Don’t answer questions.

Kali

(55,014 posts)
6. yep
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 07:59 PM
Aug 2020

I just meant if they are already beating the crap out of you, stating your rights is pointless.

delisen

(6,044 posts)
7. You may have such a privilege but I do not seem to
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 08:11 PM
Aug 2020

After a particularly bad experience with police some years ago I have decided not to call police even if life seems to be in danger.

There are many variables- how you look,how you are dressed, how you are perceived in terms of class and disability, location you are in, whether you are considered worthy or worthless.

Maraya1969

(22,483 posts)
11. Oh I completely agree. But the link that I posted was a former cop talking about how they abused
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 08:53 PM
Aug 2020

their positions and I was just giving my own experience. I think that cop just started treating me badly because I questioned him. He never even saw me and I never saw him so the only thing he could go by was my house and what those other women told him, (which could have had a effect)

I am so sorry that you had to experience what you did. I can't even imagine but I have seen the videos of other people being abused by the cops.

Stay safe and know that people really do care.

Pepsidog

(6,254 posts)
8. As a former State Assistant Prosecutor and current criminal defense attorney
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 08:30 PM
Aug 2020

I found that cops are shameless liars.

PurgedVoter

(2,218 posts)
10. You have brought up a very real issue.
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 08:41 PM
Aug 2020

I was a private eye and that was an eye opening experience. Police need regulations. Right now they are trained to lie. I am not making that up, many of them have not only been trained to lie but had to pass exams on how to do it.

While I too am white, the issue here is simple. If they can do it to a black person, they can do it to you. If an officer hates black people, I can assure you the odds are that if he hates white people who stand up for black people even more.

Maraya1969

(22,483 posts)
13. You just reminded me of the fact that the police lie all the time trying to get people to confess to
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 08:55 PM
Aug 2020

crimes and that is legal. I just never expected them to lie about the damn law.

gristy

(10,667 posts)
12. Wow, that is really something. Kudos for holding your ground against those two.
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 08:53 PM
Aug 2020

Your adrenalin must have been pumping. Lying and gaslighting such as this is daunting when it comes from an authority figure who is threatening you directly. In general we are wired to think we are in the wrong and to comply.

hurple

(1,306 posts)
14. Something similar happened to me
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 09:02 PM
Aug 2020

I'm a guy, 5'6", 160lbs. The cops that came to my door were about to bust it down which caused me to open it to save my door.

I was not only arrested, but tried and beaten into unconsciousness and dragged away in front of my wife and 10 year old daughter. I still hear their screams.

My lawyer later got all charges dropped, with a promise from me not to sue the local po-po into bankruptcy.

AllaN01Bear

(18,256 posts)
15. you have the right to remain silent. if you say anything you give up that right
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 09:06 PM
Aug 2020

and anything you say will be used in the court of law. if you are taken to the station house for questioning , you have the right to an attorney present . if you cannot afford an attorney , one will be appointed for you. the fith amndment also applies here against self incrimination. do u understand these rights . she kept her cool, could have been worse .

BigmanPigman

(51,609 posts)
17. I didn't realize how much they abuse their authority
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 09:24 PM
Aug 2020

until several personal friends filled me in on their experiences and they told me what a cop legally can and can't do. Their info came in handy when I had to use it myself a few times. It worked! Do not let cops in your home...it is the law that they must have a warrant...and yes, they are incredibly intimidating (I am only a 5'1" female). After the first time that I stood up to them, asserting my rights and seeing their immediate reaction and withdrawal, I felt empowered.

KT2000

(20,583 posts)
20. My friend had the cops come to her door
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 09:34 PM
Aug 2020

They told her they were looking for someone and they were going to go into her backyard. She said they were not allowed to do that without a search warrant. Cop said that was not true and she said yes it is true. She said if she saw someone she would call 911. The cops left.

I was so impressed by her actions, especially since she grew up in China during the Cultural Revolution. She knows her rights in the US and the cop lied to her.

Walleye

(31,028 posts)
21. All cops lie. They lie all the time even when they don't have to
Sat Aug 29, 2020, 09:46 PM
Aug 2020

It is the one universal truth about the police

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