My mentally ill "friend."

[CTyankee]

I had thought he was getting better. He had a new job, I got no weird calls from him saying he was a goner and when I pick up this message he'll be dead, or that he couldn't return my call because he was in the hospital deathly ill.

He had been a very good friend back when my husband was going through two surgeries on his spine. He picked me up and took me to my appointments, did shopping, etc.

So I wanted to thank him by giving him a copy of my book. I inscribed a personal message of thanks to him for his help. he lives nearby so he said he'd pick it up.

Now he says he'll come by and pick it up and for the second time hasn't shown up.

He finally called to say he is in intractable pain from his past sports injuries, but he continues to play (Lacrosse and he's 62 yrs old!)). I told him to get a referral from his PCP for a sports medicine specialist. He said he'd be by today to get the book.

Since I've already inscribed the book I can't give it to someone else and will keep it as a reference copy.

If anybody has had a similar "friend" who is out of his mind and keeps calling you, how do you handle it?

[WhiskeyGrinder]

1. I can't tell what the issue is here.

You have an acquaintance who seems to have some struggles. What needs to be done? What outcome do you want?

[CTyankee]

4. Right now, I jus want him to get his book and that's all. Just leave me alone.

I wasn't raised to be rude like that. He had been so kind to me in the past.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

7. So mail it to him and block his number.

Last edited Sun Oct 4, 2020, 11:19 AM - Edit history (1)

If you're not going to be a supportive person in his life, better for him to know now, I guess?

[spooky3]

8. Then I would mail him the book or drop it off. Nt

[CTyankee]

12. I'll try to find his address...

[cate94]

2. I have a bipolar brother.

One day he is saying that no Christian should vote for Trump. A few weeks later he says the Lord told him to vote for Trump.
He aggravates the shit out of me, but I help him when I can, and I call him on his bullshit. He neither appreciates it or listens to me, but I can’t exactly blame him for his brain chemicals.

Mail the book to your crazy friend. It is your easiest and best option. Otherwise every time you look at it, you’ll get aggravated or disappointed.

[CTyankee]

10. I think that's a waste.

I pretty much told him that if he doesn't come and get it I'll keep it for my own and give away my other copies.

Your bipolar brother sounds just like him!

We have a mutual friend and last time he called he asked me what happened to him. I found out he has pulled this shit with him, too. He is now avoiding his calls.

I will too after he doesn't come through and get his copy.

[Wicked Blue]

3. A thought

Is it possible that he is envious that you wrote a book and it was published?

[CTyankee]

6. No, I don't think so. He lives in his own world, not related to my book. He never showed any

interest except to say he wanted a copy.

[MineralMan]

5. I do whatever I can to support that person.

I try to remember that I am not experiencing what that person is experiencing and try not to judge his or her behavior based on what I might do.

That's how I handle it.

[CTyankee]

11. Yep. Ii think it is best for me to just not take his calls any more. I've given him frank advice and

this must end.

[intrepidity]

9. Can you just mail it to him?

For whatever reason, he is unable to come pick it up. Since it is a gift from you, perhaps don't expect him to take an action in order to receive it?

[CTyankee]

13. see above. I don't have his address.

I'll find it somehow...

[intrepidity]

14. Ah, sorry, ok

Forgive me, I missed that detail.

[CTyankee]

16. On a hunch I loooked him up on google and found him...

there are several with his name but I recognized his address immediately.

The book goes out tomorrow. since I have one to send to someone else also it'll be convenient to mail his, too!

Funny, I never thought I'd fine it, but there is was!

Let this please be the end of the story...

[intrepidity]

18. Nice! Once it has left your hands, the burden will be lifted

and you'll feel much better. And when he receives it, he'll be pleasantly surprised. Win-win!

[cate94]

20. Exactly!

[cwydro]

15. He knows where you live...

But you don’t know where he lives?

[Hortensis]

17. Kindly, of course, as you do. Quick kindness when aggravated.

[CTyankee]

19. Hey, thanks!

I know this all sounds like a "1st world problem."

I DO have better things to do. I am immersed in my second book and find it all tremendously interesting and just what I LIKE to do, and that is art history.

More later on my book. I'll be discussing it here on DU (again, not selling and privately publishing). I think I'll have a discussion in the DU Lounge soon...