'Take This Grape For It Is The Witch's Eye,' Says Pope Francis During Halloween-Themed Communion

[Zorro]

Standing before his costumed congregants in St. Peter’s Basilica, Pope Francis declared, “Take this grape for it is the witch’s eye, take this spaghetti for it is the witch’s brain,” during a Halloween-themed Communion Wednesday, Vatican sources confirmed.

Holy See officials told reporters that the Bishop of Rome delivered his sermon bedecked in black-and-orange vestments as parishioners stood in line to be blindfolded and place their right hands in bowls of peeled grapes and cooked noodles during the Vatican’s traditional Monster Mass.

“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Spooky Ghost,” said the Pontiff, while altar boys dressed as specters held aloft thuribles full of dry ice and lit the votive jack-o-lanterns throughout the church. “Our Father, who art in Heaven, Halloween thy name; Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”

“Bwahahahamen,” the pope added.

https://www.theonion.com/take-this-grape-for-it-is-the-witch-s-eye-take-this-s-1830130596

[marie999]

1. I love The Onion.

[icwlmuscyia]

2. best laugh I have had in a while - thanks

[Delphinus]

3. I was thinking

this was real - up to where I saw the source.