Please excuse my language, but ...How often does this REALLY hit you?

[LuckyCharms]

What that fucking son of a bitch has done to you? YOU. Personally. It's hitting me in waves tonight and I want to throttle someone.

Day 309 under 90% lockdown.

I've written off 2021 as well.

Brother dies from Covid.

I know more than a dozen people now who have had Covid.

Wife worried she won't be able to get her second vaccine dose.

I'll probably be dead before I can get my first dose.

Loss of friends because you find out they are Q, trump supporters, anti-vaxers.

I have so many pre-existing conditions that I struggle to keep myself alive under normal conditions. Covid is a gruesome bonus.

I break into spontaneous tears of anger.

Wife bursts into tears of panic once a day. I console her, then I go upstairs and cry alone because I'm worn down to a fucking nub.

Friends getting squirrelly and snotty with you on the phone because they are just as worn down as you are.

When you do happen to leave your house like a fucking bat flying out of a cave...having to go back inside 6 times because you forgot your mask, or your gloves, or your keys, or your hand sanitizer.

Wondering if this is the year you die, and what it will be like.

Praying that you don't get sick with some random bullshit and that you don't have to go to the ER.

Spending close to an hour a day on oral hygiene because you sure as shit are not going to the dentist.

Going to curbside pickup for your prescriptions, getting there, and having to turn around and go back home because your fucking phone is not getting a signal and then thinking your phone is busted and panicking because you might have to go to the goddamn Verizon store.

Visiting someone in your front yard, both wearing masks, and you keep having to back up because they cannot overcome human nature and they keep trying to get within 6 inches of your face as they explain to you that they let their guard down the other day and removed their mask inside while talking to someone who just tested positive and now they think they themselves have to go and get tested for the 5th time. Jesus Christ.

Even though I don't drink, I slip and think "Gee, it would be nice to walk to the bar up the street and sit at the bar with a coke and just bullshit with someone". OOOPS! Forgot! Can't do that.

Realizing how much that pretty waitress at your favorite diner made your day by calling you honey and rubbing your back when she greeted you...and you have not been to that diner in almost a year.

Wondering if you have any "patriots" living in your neighborhood, and how they are going to try to fuck you up.

And you know what? I have it EASY. I realize that I have it easy, and I worry for those who don't. And then when you realize that there is not too much you can do to make it better for them except maybe to send them a check or something.

All because that fucking bastard didn't do his job and jump on this shit right away.

Fuck you, trump. I hope you fucking drop dead. Right now.

[Skittles]

1. my brother is dying in hospice and I cannot visit him

Last edited Sat Jan 16, 2021, 06:18 PM - Edit history (3)

fuck ANYONE who ever BELIEVED in that fascist piece of SHIT

[LuckyCharms]

4. Oh no Skittles...

I'm really sorry...

[renate]

20. That's so awful... awful times awful

I’m so sorry.

[littlemissmartypants]

22. So sorry to hear about this, Skittles. Nothing prepares us for the loss of a loved one.

I just lost my Dad, December 9th in similar circumstances. I have been crying off and on for three days. The sorrow comes in waves. Almost everything reminds me of him. I am devastatingly sad. I know what you are going through. Stay encouraged. You are loved.

❤ lmsp

[electric_blue68]

27. Oh, dear. So sorry to hear this.

Cry as much as you need to!

It was my mom with whom so many things reminded me of her almost where ever I looked, so yeah I know. Because her problem was unexpected, and older circumstances ended up making it untreatable - it made it that much more devastating.

If you had good relationship he knew you loved him even if you couldn't be there as thin as these words might sound.

{hug}

[Skittles]

29. very sorry, littlemissmartypants

all I can tell you is that while time does not heal all wounds, it certainly makes them easier to bear.....be kind to yourself

[littlemissmartypants]

34. You too, Skittles.

❤

[electric_blue68]

26. So sorry to hear that. Just awful.

[littlemissmartypants]

35. ❤ nt

[ProfessorGAC]

38. Man, That Stinks

My wife hasn't seen her brother since late February and his LTC is only 12 blocks away.
But, he's not dying, and eventually she'll get to see him again.
Sorry this is happening Skittles.

[catbyte]

2. I feel like an emotionally battered spouse.

I've felt like that even before the horrific clusterfuck known as that thing's non-response to Covid. Every day was/is a fresh assault on basic human decency. If the Senate doesn't neuter him, he's going to be a big old ugly albatross around the nation's neck for who knows how long. He and all of the traitorous and enablers he radicalized must be stopped.

I will be happy and relieved to change my tagline after the 20th.

[littlemissmartypants]

23. Excellent quote though. I directed a play in undergrad about Dorothy Parker, The Big Blonde.

Maybe there's another DP quote that will carry us into the next phase... She's so great.

Ditto to the feeling of being abused. If you look at the wheel it's clear that we've been had in more ways than one.



https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/





❤lmsp

[trocar]

3. Right there with you nt

[ret5hd]

5. You've just described my households lives...

We do have some relief: camping. I don’t know if that’s suitable for you, but the National Forests are free and essentially empty. We can go days without seeing anyone.

There is light, my friend. It’s still a ways away, but I can see it.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

6. You make me realize how easy I have it.

Staying home is very easy for me; I averaged one trip to civilization about every 3 to 6 months before the pandemic, and only did those because I couldn't get out of them. My only risk factors are age and a heart attack a couple of years ago. My son goes for non-contact groceries pickups and UPS or USPS delivers everything else. Lots of stuff to keep me occupied around here.

I do have a collection of black Jack bottles. Pre-trump, 2 bottles would be enough for a year. It's been 3 times that during the wrecking regime.

The damage this radical Republican death cult has inflicted on everybody is appalling and the ripples will last for generations.

[OAITW r.2.0]

7. I don't blame Trump for the virus....

just his complete failure to deal with it. 350.000 American lives died because of his inaction and misinformation over the Science.

[Enterstageleft]

8. LuckyCharms...you said it for virtually all of us...Thank you for that...

Don't ever apologize for you language when you are describing the FUCKING ASSHOLE TRAITOR REPUGLICANS.

I'll be happy to drink one for you, maybe more than one, as usual.

I hate those stupid maskholes who wear one below their nose, or under their chin.

Hang in there, I have no doubt it will get better. It might take a year, and at my age, that could be too late. But I'm optimistic with the GOOD GUYS (Dems) in control.

We need you to hang in LuckyCharms...know we're with you.

[Heartstrings]

9. I feel everything you feel, you are not alone....

Just trying to stay alive day by day, but man I miss the hugs. Those sweet hugs of love are relinquished to being virtual. I miss them soooo much!

I also echo your prediction that 2021 will be much the same. It’s scary and so, so lonely. Every outing, for whatever reason, is a risk.

My grandsons are adapting and doing ok, but I know a few young ones with severe depression and anxiety. As much as I know children are resilient I can’t help but wonder how this inept pos president has damaged childhoods, leaving emotional scars forever.

I don’t just want him gone, I want him six feet under. And that’s something I have never wanted or wished for anyone previously.

Hang in there LuckyCharms.....

[marlakay]

10. Most of us Americans me included feel your pain

I keep telling myself I have it lucky unlike you I don't know anyone with covid. I keep expecting my daughter and granddaughter that aren't as careful to get it but so far not.

I see people still doing things in my town and it makes me crazy, I am trying so hard not to go nuts daily and they are flaunting their fun.

I was jealous I thought my husband was getting vaccinated soon because he is 71, I turn 65 this summer. But then our governor came on for statement today that because Trump lied about vaccines we won't be doing seniors or teachers yet.

I find my mood goes up and down everyday, some hours I feel okay, like I can do this I am good, then all it takes is listening to my husband freaking out over a small thing, vaccine stuff, the weather and I want to pull my hair out.

When your younger giving up a few years is a bitch but you have many left, now that I am older I want to make every day, week, month count. But at home most days feel unmotivated.

I do feel better if I complete something so my new thing is at least one thing a day. From laundry to taking down Christmas lights I have been doing it this past week.

I am hoping having Joe in WH will calm me some.

And next week my zoom senior classes start and a new weekly zoom bookclub with a private group on FB I belong too. I think we are meant to interact with others.

[Phoenix61]

11. What language? Sounds fine to me.

Not too sure about you having it easy. Easier than some doesn’t mean easy. The only thing is I don’t want Twitler to drop dead. I want him disgraced and broke. I want him forced to testify under threat of jail if he refuses. I want him to see his own children testify against him to save their sorry worthless hides. Then I want him to have a stroke. One that destroys his body but not whatever passes for his mind. Then I want him to linger like that for awhile. Four years sounds about right. Don’t know if any of it will happen but it keeps me from worrying about things I can’t do anything about and it makes me smile.

[keithbvadu2]

19. Agree! Death would be too easy for him. Alive and suffering like he has made others.

Agree! Death would be too easy for him. Alive and suffering like he has made others.

[TexasLefty29]

12. Thank you for this post.

During the new year special with Andy and Anderson I reflected on how it’s been a year since I started typing “coronavirus news” in Google. I am fatigued, at times, with the obsession, met with compulsion, on staying up to date.

I was a vet tech for the nine years preceding the pandemic (presently 28yo) - even switched my line of work to stay “in the shadows” of the virus, and to “stay essential”.
Went from a career path paved with intelligence and respect, to a cleaning company. People stare at me, I think I look out of place, but it’s Darwinism- it supplies everything I need to stay safe, and mostly working at night when people are not around. Lemonade.

Many of my friends, they are uneducated +/- apolitical and subsequently either think Covid is a hoax, didn’t vote, etc.
... many of them were “raised Republican”, play that tape through, etc.

I don’t have social media. And I don’t think DU counts. But I have enjoyed reading all you guys’ posts.


I’m sorry to read about everyone’s stress, but grateful we have a place to share our thoughts and lean on one another, even if not in real time.

[UpInArms]

17. So glad you're here

Stay safe and know that better days are coming.

That has been my mantra for quite some time now.

[Leith]

13. The strain has caught up with all of us

I do my best to occupy myself by watching YouTube, reading, whatever. Chatting on DU takes the place of in-person interaction, even when the news is sometimes too upsetting to continue.

We DUers are here for each other.

[BigmanPigman]

14. Ditto with the dentist and broken Verizon cell phone.

Add my 17 year old dog that couldn't see the vet for a check up and she died. I will probably need root canals since the last dentist visit was in March. I wore a mask and they laughed at me for being paranoid. My cell phone also died in March and going to the Verizon store for many problems with a new one was not easy. I blame tRump and the GOP enablers. They all deserve a public hanging. I would be there with bells on.

[homegirl]

15. Most of this is

all too familiar. It is difficult but, we are in the comfort of out own homes and surroundings, we have food, entertainment and one another. We never imagined our "golden years" would include the isolation of a pandemic.

The only advice I can give is the realization that sharing positive experiences with friends and family, no matter how small they seem, has been very helpful. Earlier this week I saw a robin in my backyard, when I passed this on to a friend she was overjoyed. Small, minor but we both benefited from the sharing of such a small experience.

I guess I am saying sharing the however small the happy unique or routine is is rewarding.

Keep well

[OneBlueSky]

16. Know that you are not alone, friend . . .

most of the rest of us feel the same way, to a greater or lesser extent depending on our own circumstances . . . don't apologize for your language, because there's one thing we all have in common . . . and it's . . .

FUCK YOU, DONALD "ORANGE ASSHOLE" TRUMP!!!! . . . and the horse you rode in on!!! . . .

be well . . . find a flower to smell . . . or a puppy to cuddle . . . or an episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?" to watch . . . or anything silly to commune with . . . not as good as a stiff drink or a tight joint, but it helps . . .

[Karadeniz]

18. Everyone here knows just how you feel. Y'all hang on...justice will get this crime family and those

Who abetted him.

[littlemissmartypants]

21. I can definitely identify with much of what you said.

I won't list specifics but an example. Today I was driving into town, on the interstate, and just glanced up to see a billboard with the letters T..R..U.. and my blood pressure went up and I feel like someone gut punched me. I was upset about what I perceived as a giant billboard with you know who's name on it. As I got closer, I saw it actually said, "True." I was both relieved and sad that just seeing the word, and perceiving his surname could elicit such an emotional reaction.

It's going to take a while to heal, each of us, personally and individually. I couldn't care less about the nut jobs calling for such. They can kiss my grits and go straight to hell.

Stay strong, LuckyCharms. It's going to get better.

❤ lmsp

[Jon King]

24. How much has he messed up kid's lives?

Watching how kid's lives have been messed up by Trump.....escalated climate change, exploded government debt, destroyed job market, watching parent's struggle with the stress, no proms, graduations, sports cancelled.

Amazing what this POS and his enablers have done.

[ecstatic]

25. It hits me every time I leave the house

It's still surreal that we're going through this, thanks to drump. A total nightmare. I'm worried sick that the relief we're expecting in 4 days may not come.... that he'll find a way to stop it, somehow.

[malaise]

28. Here's what you need

[mopinko]

30. destroyed my 1st rly good year at my farm. i have salable crops that i couldnt sell.

and i was so cranky, i had a hard time getting the help i needed to distribute the stuff.
which i couldnt do, cuz i have risk on risk.

and ended up in a war w my long time neighbors over the workers doing a big rehab that refused to wear masks.

and an empty 2flat. 2nd flr w half done rehab cuz of covid keeping my usual workers out.
1st flr empty, cuz they refused to mask at all, so i kicked them out.
and a contractor that was scheduled to finish the job, but isnt working cuz he doesnt want to catch it.

yup. a regular waterfall of shit.

[Hugin]

31. KnR because you say it so much better than I ever could. n/t

[Roisin Ni Fiachra]

32. I am making a recording of church bells ringing, and am going to

blast it over my PA system, as loud as I possibly can without distortion, outside, at the moment Joe Biden is sworn in on Jan 20.

Because that will be the greatest moment for American democracy, and the people of the United States, since the end of World War II.

That's how it really hits me.

[panader0]

33. Roll one up and decompress.

2020 will be a year that will be remembered as one to forget.
You've got a lot of friends here.
Did the snow ever melt?
Hang in there Lucky. Don't write off 2021 yet, things will get better.

[Blue Owl]

36. Hopefully this is what will happen...

And we'll all enjoy the schadenfreude in 2021...

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100214938166

[SallyHemmings]

37. Worse

He has parked his fat ass in the corner of our brain, like a bug from a wacky science fiction movie.