A late night thought: research says we need at least five hugs a day to maintain good mental

[niyad]

health. But in this plague time, as we are isolated, social distanced, zoomed, worried, scared, sick, depressed, or just in our own little bubbles. . .what will be the long-term effects of being deprived of this mental health necessity? In addition to all the other things with which we are dealing.

What can be done?

Just a late night thought, but I have been dealing with crises all day (not mine, I am just the sounding board and fixer), and I just started wondering.

[Jim__]

1. Does hugging animals count?

It seems to me that it does.

[niyad]

3. I think it does. My kitteh thinks so! But not everyone has huggable pets.

[lagomorph777]

43. I hope so, otherwise I'm in in the hole to the tune of tens of thousands of hugs.

Thank Dog for the canines in my life.

[Liberty Belle]

2. Get a dog or cat to hug -- it's the next best thing. Or maybe better than humans.

I know this sounds silly but I've known some older folks who loved to receive a stuffed toy or doll.

I got what was supposed to be a doorstop for Mom, who has dementia, to replace a rock she'd been using. The doorstop is a big stuffed toy that looks like an owl with a weigh in the bottom. She's taken to carrying it around and hugging it.

My Dad did the same with a stuffed bear when he was in a nursing home with dementia. I recommend this for anyone who lives alone, especially the elderly who are so lonely right now with few visitors due to COVID.

[niyad]

5. I am fortunate enough to be owned by a cat, so I am okay.

I will keep the stuffed doll/toy thing in mind, as I can foresee some need in my circle. Thank you.

[TrishaJ]

23. There are special stuffed animals available

for the elderly. I got my mom an interactive cat that responds to being hugged and petted.

[highplainsdem]

33. A Joy For All cat? I got one for my mom:

https://www.amazon.com/Ageless-Innovation-Companion-Lifelike-Realistic/dp/B017JQQ01A

[TrishaJ]

37. Yes!

It's amazing and she loves it.

[Brother Buzz]

4. If a dog initiates the hug, it counts for two hugs

That's a scientific fact, Jack!

[niyad]

6. That is very good to know.

[Brother Buzz]

8. Just so you know....

Cats kneading biscuits on your tummy counts as two hugs, too.

[niyad]

10. Then I am definitely good!

[SheltieLover]

7. This is what Operation Snowball teaches in drug prevention program!

People need validation from others. It is a dynamic of Masliw's hierarchy of needs, even if an overlooked one.

Edward Teyber refers to invalidation as "soul murder" (in the context of family of origin) in "Interpersonal Process in Therapy an Integrative Model."

Although Teyber's assertion is from a different perspective, I think the effects can be similar.

And I feel that practicing self-compassion and hugging a pet can help to fill this critical need during covid.

Dr. Kristen Neff is the definitive expert on the topic of self-compassion. For anyone interested, here is her website link:

https://self-compassion.org/

I hope this is helpful!

[niyad]

11. Thank you, I will check it out.

[TexasTowelie]

9. Commoditize those hugs.

Right-wingers love to amplify the successes of capitalism so certainly an entrepreneur can somehow find a way to make a profit on the hugging business while not crossing the line into what would be considered as criminal activity.

[niyad]

12. I nearly lost my coffee!

[TexasTowelie]

14. Thank goodness that you didn't since I don't have keyboard replacement policy.

I thought I would throw in a comment from right field since there a lot of Repukes who believe money solves all problems and that there is no such thing as COVID so they don't have to worry about catching it.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

18. I saw that type of business mentioned in a news story...

... a few years ago!

I'm not sure that I believe this hugging research. My most emotionally-mature relatives lived alone for years.

I've also been alone for years. Hugs during holiday gatherings with family, and that's been about it for me over the last 20 years or so.

During those same holiday events, I witnessed the "price" of companionship -- such as incessant nagging and bickering which clearly made them nervous wrecks.

Edit: My family history is full of loners. (And obviously some baby-makers too or I wouldn't be here.)

[TexasTowelie]

21. I've observed much of what you have at the holiday events.

While I do get lonely at times and I would also enjoy some of the benefits of companionship, I also value my privacy too. An occasional hug from someone without any strings attached would be sufficient to bolster my mental health.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

22. Yeah, it's usually pleasant.

I've encountered so many "transactional" people over the years in adulthood, probably because it's so embedded in the national psyche, that it doesn't seem worth it unless I finally meet a woman who behaves like my friends when I was a child... hanging out just because they like you.

Edit: By the way, this might be the "professional cuddler" story that I saw in the past. Lol.
https://www.nbcnews.com/businessmain/professional-cuddler-offers-hugs-hire-2D11650793

[smirkymonkey]

30. +1000

I'm pretty much on the same page as you, and I don't particularly feel comforted by hugs from other human beings. However, I love "hugs" and cuddles from dogs, which I only get occasionally. It would be nice to have a dog at some point, but I am not really in a position right now.

Agree with pretty much everything in your post.

[Hekate]

19. I just tried that, and it's amazing

[roamer65]

16. I have been hugging my all white furry feline a lot lately.

I figure it’s good for me, too.

[BigmanPigman]

17. I prefer "hugs" and kisses from my dog.

She made me feel better in a nanosecond. Warm, soft kisses, soft warm fur and a wagging tail combine to make the perfect "hug". I miss her a lot!!!

[SheltieLover]

20. You can also

Cook nutritious meals with focused attention on self-care.

Apply body lotion with intention on self-care.

Just other ideas that seem simple & mundane, but can be profoundly healing when done with focused intention.

Don't forget, when your hand(s) cross your body's midline, your brain no longer recognizes your hands as your own. So, for instance, applying body lotion to one's left arm with one's right hand is perceived as touch by another.

And please do not discount self hugs! Again, hands crossing midline.

[niyad]

26. These are all wonderful suggestions and techniques, and I will definitely pass them on.

Between DU, my cat, and texting, I am doing fine. But I have been wondering and worrying about others, who are not as fortunate as I.

[USALiberal]

41. My brain must, or it would scare me! Weird! Nt

[Roisin Ni Fiachra]

24. here's what we do

[niyad]

25. Yes! My cat has me, and I have DU. I am one very lucky person!

[leftyladyfrommo]

27. Anybody here Bloom County fans?

Remember Opus and the Dial A Mom?

Or when you really get down you can go lay in the dandelion patch?

[niyad]

28. Loved Bloom County! Just a wee bit early for a dandelion patch, though!

[leftyladyfrommo]

29. He's back on FB now. Breathed's cartoons are a

work of art.

[niyad]

31. Not on fb, but will pass this great news on. Thank you!

[Beringia]

32. I think scheduled hugs are fakish

I had a relative that read that about needing hugs and would say, oh i need a hug, and there was no sincerity or affection to it at all.

[WhiskeyGrinder]

34. What research?

[niyad]

35. Since I read it many years ago, I don't remember.

[Hugin]

40. Here ya go, niyad. It looks like only 5 hugs is a maintenance dose.

How many hugs do we need?

"Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While that may sound like a lot of hugs, it seems that many hugs are better than not enough.

So, how many hugs should you have a day for optimal health? According to the best science, we should have as many as possible if we want to reap the greatest positive effects.

Unfortunately, most Western people today — especially people in the United States — are touch-deprived. Many people live solitary or busy lives with reduced social interaction and touching.

Our modern social conventions often push people not to touch others who aren’t directly related to them. However, it seems people could benefit a lot from touching others a bit more.

So, if you want to feel better about yourself, reduce your stress, improve communication, and be happier and healthier, it seems that giving and asking for more hugs is a good place to start.

If you feel nervous about seeking out more hugs, start by asking for them from friends and family members closest to you first.

Science proves that regular hugs with those closest to you, even if brief, can have especially positive effects on your brain and body." - (Editor's note : Literally, the bottom line.)

FROM: https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits#How-many-hugs-do-we-need?

[Hugin]

38. KnR for hugz. n/t

[niyad]

39. Hugggggs to you!

[Hugin]

42. The benefits of hugging. (healthline)

What Are the Benefits of Hugging?

1. Hugs reduce stress by showing your support
2. Hugs may protect you against illness
3. Hugs may boost your heart health
4. Hugs can make you happier
5. Hugs help reduce your fears
6. Hugs may help reduce your pain
7. Hugs help you communicate with others

Go to: https://www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits to read the meat.