Trump Replaces Legal Team with Eric and Don, Jr.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Infuriated by his lawyers miserable performance on the first day of his impeachment trial, Donald J. Trump has replaced them with his two adult sons, Eric and Don, Jr.
Although neither of the Trump boys has a law degree, Don, Jr., called their lack of legal education our secret weapon.
All Dads lawyers talked about yesterday was the effing Constitution! he said. It was effing boring! No one cares about that bullshit!
For his part, Eric Trump said he had no intention of cracking any law books before serving as his dads attorney.
Ive never read a book in my life, and Im, like, super successful, he said.
Don, Jr.,s girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, expressed optimism about the Trump boys performance as defense attorneys. THE BEST IS YET TO COME, she predicted.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-replaces-legal-team-with-eric-and-don-jr