General Discussion
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(29,149 posts)Warpy
(111,270 posts)but using the name assigned by male sex workers in DC for a deeply closeted, anti LGBT civil rights Senator seems like appropriate shaming directed at a vicious fraud of a man.
IOW, I don't use it myself, but I don't think it's the hill I want to die on when other people do. I see it less as gay bashing and more as hypocrite bashing.
FreeState
(10,572 posts)that there is still something wrong enough with them that can be used against them. No straight person should ever use it regardless of the target because its like a shot gun - it hits way more than the target.
Warpy
(111,270 posts)because that level of hypocrisy pisses people off and some will call them on it publicly. I'm not one of them, but I do understand it.
With Graham, I just have to wonder what happened during that round of golf with Dumdum that changed him from a Dumdum hater to an overnight Dumdum idolator. I suspect Epstein was in the mix somewhere.
FreeState
(10,572 posts)Homophobia kills and there is never any excuse for it. Hate speech is never singular - it attacks a whole community.
Warpy
(111,270 posts)know him well? I don't see it. It's the foul stink of hypocrisy, not anything he does sexually.
It's not my style, but it's not a hill I"m going to die on.
I'm far more interested in his overnight conversion to the cult.
FreeState
(10,572 posts)You have a gay poster telling you how the LGBT community experiences hate speech but yet you persist to insist our experience isn't a reality. There are well documented studies that show homophobia isn't an act with a singular target.
keithbvadu2
(36,823 posts)TwilightZone
(25,471 posts)I've never really understood why it doesn't get more flak here.
demmiblue
(36,864 posts)I will vote to hide every time (and I alert when I see it).
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Even in this thread.
Behind the Aegis
(53,959 posts)No, if the topic were LGBT issues, then one could claim, still falsely IMO, it was about the hypocrisy, but the appellation is used all the time, for a variety of circumstances, therefore, it is not about the hypocrisy, it is about his alleged homosexuality and using it as a slur. I said further down in the thread, I have reached the conclusion that those who still continue to use this are really just using it because they can't call him a faggot and get away with it, so they get cutesy and use the "Lady G" moniker.
FreeState
(10,572 posts)however majority rules on reported post. They almost never get hidden. That should tell us we have an issue but even pointing that out creates issues.
SlogginThroughIt
(1,977 posts)Agreed. Is all I can say.
Polybius
(15,428 posts)I alert every time I see it.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
Thank you.
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bullimiami
(13,096 posts)LizBeth
(9,952 posts)demmiblue
(36,864 posts)SharonClark
(10,014 posts)LizBeth
(9,952 posts)What I have found interesting, again, it seems the escalation of sexist slurs last couple days and the norm of it. All of this cannot happen without the justifications validations acceptance of the slur. I think the Karen is hand in hand with all of that. I as just listening to Farrow in an 18 minute tape having the conversation of connection with the racism being tapped.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)So sick of seeing that term here as well.
brooklynite
(94,592 posts)LeftInTX
(25,368 posts)Fullduplexxx
(7,864 posts)demmiblue
(36,864 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)Because it doesnt.
Fullduplexxx
(7,864 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)Hmm?
Fullduplexxx
(7,864 posts)That was all
MerryBlooms
(11,770 posts)Squinch
(50,955 posts)sarge43
(28,941 posts)ShazzieB
(16,412 posts)This is what drives me so nuts about it, not just the homophobia, but the misogyny that homophobia is based on. UGH
cwydro
(51,308 posts)They actually bristle if anyone dare hint they might be using a homophobic slur, and they cannot even comprehend that the slur is derogatory to women as well as gay folks.
Squinch
(50,955 posts)AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)Would it be accceptable to call someone an n***** wannabe?
Stop the word games and excuses. Implying a gay man is female (or wants to be) is homophobic and sexist.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
Playing word games is what I DO as a writer.
==========
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)It's quite another when it is done to justify continuing to use words and phrases you've been told are hurtful.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)Just dont.
Amazing that you dont see whats wrong with this.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)Your attitude about this speaks volumes.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
please leave my attitude out of it.
She has enough problems dealing with me as it is.
==============
cwydro
(51,308 posts)I find it sad so many dont get it.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)SlogginThroughIt
(1,977 posts)How about we just call him a terrible senator who lacks the ability, or the knowledge, or the decency to do the job he was elected to do?
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)Vogon_Glory
(9,118 posts)I LIKE Lady Gaga and wouldnt dream of anything to besmirch her name.
theneworiginal
(302 posts)Or is that not PC?
Vogon_Glory
(9,118 posts)Calling people of that sort an a-hole implies that they still habe some vestigial vertebrae somewhere.
Response to demmiblue (Original post)
Post removed
gollygee
(22,336 posts)Vinca
(50,276 posts)apparent quest for some kind of royal status in the eyes of King Donald. I honestly don't believe she intended it to be a homophobic slur. If she admitted she did, then clearly I'm mistaken.
TwilightZone
(25,471 posts)Personally, I can disapprove of more than one thing at a time. But that's just me.
"And why, in a way, should that be insulting?"
It's used as an insult. Are you saying that insinuating that Graham is homosexual as an insult shouldn't be seen as insulting?
Vinca
(50,276 posts)have to pay for sex with anyone of any gender? Can I call him a slobbering fool of a man who worships a false idol? Can I call him a disgrace among the ranks of veterans? Can I call him beady-eyed and resembling a rat? Because he's all of those. Apologies to rats.
TwilightZone
(25,471 posts)Put simply, insinuating that he's gay is homophobic. You're seriously having trouble grasping that simple concept?
You think it's the same thing as calling him a rat?
I'm beginning to understand why it gets used a lot on DU.
Vinca
(50,276 posts)I don't think so, but it seems a whole lot of people do. Does being gay mean one isn't able to let a word roll off their back? How many people in a tizzy about this have made fat jokes or geezer jokes or ugly people jokes? Maybe we should just exist mute and no one would ever be offended.
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)ablist comments, ageist comments, etc.
Believing someone is gay is not inherently homophobic.
Acting on that by referring to a man using female pronouns and titles as an insult is homophobic. No one on DU who is using the terms is using it to celebrate the fact that he is a gay man. They are using it as an insult, expressly using being gay as a bad thing. Otherwise it doesn't work as an insult.
dsc
(52,162 posts)I suspect I will be waiting a very long time.
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)It is a serious matter.
Medically serious attempts at suicide are 4x more likely among LGBTQ youth than other young people.
African American, Latino, Native American, and Asian American people who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual attempt suicide at especially high rates.
41% of trans adults said they had attempted suicide, in one study. The same study found that 61% of trans people who were victims of physical assault had attempted suicide.
Lesbian, gay, and bisexual young people who come from families that reject or do not accept them are over 8x more likely to attempt suicide than those whose families accept them.
Each time an LGBTQ person is a victim of physical or verbal harassment or abuse, they become 2.5x more likely to hurt themselves.
https://save.org/about-suicide/suicide-facts/
We are told directly - and through comments like this which are clearly used as insults - that we are not worth the space we take up. That being gay is disgusting, evil, and so on. That wears on us - especially when we are younger. Many internalize the hate and consider/attempt suicide - or self-harm.
When we hear our friends use those terms to insult other gays, our own thoughts are, "so that's what they would think of me, if only they knew," or "I thought I could trust that friend - but now I know it's just an act." So now not only do we believe we are bad, but we know we can't even turn to our friends for support.
Vinca
(50,276 posts)it annoys me the word "gay" can no longer be used to describe someone as happy. So, I'll go back to thinking about the lesser problems in life: half a million dead Americans, democracy on the edge and economic collapse.
obamanut2012
(26,080 posts)Noted.
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Wow.
Johnny2X2X
(19,066 posts)I don't use it and think it's childish and hurtful to use it.
But Graham is the worst, he's a closeted homosexual with power who uses that power to harm homosexuals. He deserves no respect, but using this term for him is disrespectful to others, so knock it off.
Vinca
(50,276 posts)what he is for sure and I'm sure none of us want to find out.
LeftInTX
(25,368 posts)And I think no one really cares at this point.....
20 years ago, this would have been a thing...
At face value, he's a 65 yo bachelor with some effeminate features....
However, he sure has the vapors when it comes to Trump and he's all over the place.....
hlthe2b
(102,291 posts)I happen to like lizards. They serve an incredibly important role in our ecosystem, are not typically aggressive--except to survive--and do not justify destruction of our world via unchecked climate change nor our democracy.
Most definitely NOT the alternative comparison for Lindsey, who has none of those attributes.
demmiblue
(36,864 posts)Although, I was quite traumatized as a child when I tried to catch a lizard and its tail falled off. I was subsequently placated upon learning that it would grow back!
lagomorph777
(30,613 posts)It made me sad, but I knew he'd grow it back.
LeftInTX
(25,368 posts)I'm in stitches...
My grandmother had a poodle and that thing.....
I can just imagine a "feral" poodle....
hlthe2b
(102,291 posts)Talk about breeding/nurturing out any possible survival skills.
LeftInTX
(25,368 posts)That thing had to be the center of attention...
Every time my grandmother and I would have our gossip sessions, girl time or whatever you call it, that thing would hop on the couch and get right between us and twirling in circles....Super disruptive and jealous...
lagomorph777
(30,613 posts)Mister Ed
(5,940 posts)It's really easy to do. When you feel like calling Graham "Lady G"... don't.
Presto! Done.
BainsBane
(53,035 posts)as though feminizing him explains his treasonous behavior.
MontanaMama
(23,322 posts)Calling a man a "lady" isn't meant as a compliment. There are dozens of ways this happens in society.
Gregory Peccary
(490 posts)But the aggressiveness of the language police is pushing some people away from the Dem message.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
Personally, calling Graham a man is also insulting to ALL men!
==========
Amaryllis
(9,524 posts)He may well be gay but that has nothing to do with anything and it implies that part of his problem as a human is that he is gay. It is a slur.
Response to Amaryllis (Reply #28)
BannonsLiver This message was self-deleted by its author.
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)It is disgusting how many people on DU are excusing it because gay male sex workers (supposedly) call him that, or becuase he is a hypocrite, or a Republican.
Deliberately misgendering anyone is transhostile.
Using a name other than the one they choose to use is transhostile.
Using female pronouns and titles to refer to a gay man as an insult is both homophobic and misogynistic.
notKeith
(138 posts)..and gang using the term "Lady G". If this is okay:
And a gay person using it doesnt give you, as a straight person, permission to use it.
it doesn't absolve the abhorrent nature of the term.
Irrespective - no, I don't use this slander against Graham. That being said, he's a spineless coward, and a major-league hypocrite.
I suspect that since he did the 180° turn from "unfit for office" (2016) to being Trump's lapdog -- Trump must have some serious shit on this horrible person.
Solly Mack
(90,771 posts)FM123
(10,053 posts)Response to demmiblue (Original post)
Post removed
IngridsLittleAngel
(1,962 posts)I'm so tired of the "Lady G" bullshit. While there are few things that warm my heart more than blasting Lindsey Graham, resorting to homophobia to do it is totally not cool. No sane person would tolerate using something racist to attack David Clarke. Why is "Lady G" A-OK for Graham?
There are far better names for him. I'm rather fond of Leningrad Lindsey myself. I also just had "Trump Toady" pop into my head. I'm sure there are many others.
TDale313
(7,820 posts)We dont need to and shouldnt go there.
Mike 03
(16,616 posts)Link to tweet
Hey suzanne, how would you like it if you and your life were used as an insult against others? This isn't just Yashar. This is pissing off & offending millions of people would wide. Calling him Lady G is EXACLTY the same as Trump calling Liz Warren Pocahontas. You a Trumper?
ShazzieB
(16,412 posts)AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)He is a man, as are many of historys assholes.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
Thank you.
Why are you doing this? What did I ever NOT do for you?
By the way, I agree with the OP. It's insensitive and people should stop.
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Miigwech
(3,741 posts)as a LGBGTA American I don't see why we need to protect Mr. Lindsey for his personal activities when it involves our Civil Rights. For example ... why should we protect someone who is say ... a secret adherent to the KKK? When we protect one aspect of of a criminal, we protect all of it .... I say pound the fucking hell out of this man because he deserves nothing less ... take off the gloves, there is no time left to do our nails! Please, don't hate me!
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)It is about not using my life as an insult.
It is about not sending the message to millions of LGBT youth that being gay is something to be ridiculed - or a tool for ridiculing othef - both of which contribute to the sky-high suicide/attempted rate among gay youth.
It is about telling these same LGBT youth that they can trust you not to ridicule them for being gay.
Beat him up all you want. Just don't use my life to do it.
Miigwech
(3,741 posts)TO GET WOKE .... lindsey is playing you .... he uses the religious RW money and props at every election not to mention his KKK dog whistle lies .... listen to the OLD SCHOOL FOLKS WHO STOOD ON THE FIRST GAY PROTEST LINES IN NYC AND BOSTON >>> YOU FIGHT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE AND LINDSEY IS HIDING BEHIND A LIE THAT PROTECTS HIM AND I WILL PROTECT THAT LIE .... SORRY !!!!!!! TRUTH OUT ... FUCK RIDICULE .... we old folks stood up to fucking ridicule and much worse for our whole lives so don't even try to lecture us because we paved the way for you with broken lives and dreams, suicides, drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness caused by society, broken families .... OUR GENERATION PAVED THE WAY for you. I don't need no sermon from anyone. May not be real for some but this is fucking real for me. STAND STRONG LGBTQIA people, we don't need to be protecting the likes of lindsey .... he is playing us. He lies so show the truth ... simple.
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)AND old enough to remember Stonewall.
Mimicking the abusers actions only turns us into abusers - and perpetuates the damage such abuse has done done to LGBTQIA people for decades. Both the identity of the person is flinging homophobic/transphobic/sexist insults - and the specific target they are flung at are completely irrelevant to the harm such insults do to individuals within the LGBTQIA community who encounter them - especially youth who are often not yet confident enough to reject what their friends, communiy, and family tell them about LGBTQIA people.
Refraining from using hateful insults is not synonymous with zipping our lips - or with letting him be the abuser. Do you seriously think the only way of condemning Graham is to use homophobic insults?
Attack him for what he does - not for who you believe him to be.
Baltimike
(4,146 posts)I refuse to bring a pen to a gun battle and then not use ALL of the words to fight it.
My membership in the LGBTQ community is not tethered to Mr Ali's approval. I have many gay/bi/tri friends who whole heartedly agree.
Nor anyone else's for that matter.
maxsolomon
(33,345 posts)But Jen Psaki must be crucified.
Caliman73
(11,738 posts)I have said that about "Lady G" or "Miss Lindsey". The insults to Graham stem from basically insinuating that he is gay, or a woman, or effeminate in some way. The insult is that "As a man, you shouldn't be those things.."
Also Padma Lakshmi is treading on some thin ice there too. "Lizard person" seems harmless but it may have roots in anti-Semitism.
https://www.varsity.co.uk/comment/11782
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/qanon-s-capitol-rioters-nashville-bomber-s-lizard-people-theory-ncna1253819
Lindsey Graham is a moral coward, a bootlicker, and a political parasite. He is a shit person.
lagomorph777
(30,613 posts)(St. Petersburg).
But homophobic slurs are disgusting. Full stop. Using any aspect of somebody's natural identity (or putative identity) as an insult is disgusting. Decent liberals won't engage in this behavior.
Caliman73
(11,738 posts)I agree that using other identities as an insult is horrible. We do have to remember though, that these are things that have been taught to MANY MANY of us since we were children. I remember hearing, "Come on, you throw/punch/run/etc... like a girl" as admonishment for poor athletic efforts. I certainly didn't want to do anything "like a girl" as a young boy or adolescent. It took awhile to figure out why that insult was offensive (sexism/misogyny). Or we grow up hearing, "that is so gay" and "you're retarded" and think little of the association and comparison. I am not saying that it is acceptable in any way, but it will take time and effort from each one of us to unlearn what has been engrained socially within us.
demmiblue
(36,864 posts)Honestly, I envisioned a Sleestack when she mentioned a lizard person.
ShazzieB
(16,412 posts)demmiblue
(36,864 posts)obamanut2012
(26,080 posts)That and DUers defending JK Rowling have left me angry, sad, and exhausted.
Lady G is sexist and homophobic, period.
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
being raised in a sexist culture, it wasn't an easy adjustment for me to make either.
Being here on DU has helped a lot.
Personally, I don't associate a creative person's politics or biases with their work, but that's just me.
============
ProfessorGAC
(65,065 posts)First, who someone else has sex with is not my concern. In any way.
Second, Graham's sycophancy can't be based on compromising sexual information. Its 2021, not 1951. A hundred million people would just shrug off finding someone is gay.
His obsequiousness just has to do with dirty money & they've got the receipts to keep him in line.
Being poor & possibly in prison is WAY scarier than being outed.
obamanut2012
(26,080 posts)THAT would kill him.
Silent3
(15,220 posts)...are you not allowed to argue with them too?
Who's the ultimate authority here?
I don't identify as a gay male, but I have sucked cock a few times. Does that give me half a vote on the matter?
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)iF ONE (or even several) Black people gave you permission to use n*****, would it be OK for you to fling it around in public as an insult?
MineralMan
(146,317 posts)I wouldn't call him that.
maxsolomon
(33,345 posts)all Liberals, straight or otherwise, are guilty of it.
It will be weaponized by the RWNM until the heat death of the universe.
Jon King
(1,910 posts)Don Lemon constantly trolls Graham, goes into his "oh the vapors" act.
beaglelover
(3,486 posts)Stuff like this gives democrats a bad name, IMO.
LiberalArkie
(15,719 posts)to say that.
relayerbob
(6,544 posts)I would never use it, besies too many syllables. I just call him "Asshole"
Lunabell
(6,087 posts)He is a self loathing gay man who has a penchant for prostitutes. It's the hypocrisy of being an anti-gay, "family values" senator who votes time and time again against the LGBTQ community.
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)That is something only he is capable of knowing and, to my knowledge, he has not made his sexual orientation public.
Second - EVEN if he is, you can call him out on his hypocrisy without using my life as an insult.
Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #117)
Post removed
Ms. Toad
(34,074 posts)No more than all of the gay men over the years who married (and had sex with women) were heterosexual - or even bisexual because they had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
Engaging in sex acts with someone of the same sex does not determine your orientation - it is merely a description of the sexual acts you have engaged in. Graham is the only one capable of knowing and declaring (or not) his sexual orientation.
Lunabell
(6,087 posts)But really? You don't think he is? I do and he hates it. Sad.
Response to Ms. Toad (Reply #117)
Post removed
Behind the Aegis
(53,959 posts)Clearly there are some that don't won't get it. So, I will put it another way, it is simply a way for some, especially on the left, to call a suspected/possible gay man a "FAGGOT", but make it "cutesy". Just because gay men use, doesn't mean straight people can use it. Seriously, that I even have to make that statement is fucking maddening!
dixiechiken1
(2,113 posts)smh
AmyStrange
(7,989 posts)-
"Lady G" has been trending on Twitter all day, but it has nothing to do with Lady Gaga. It all started after gay adult film star Sean Harding tweeted this: There is a homophobic republican senator who is no better than Trump who keeps passing legislation that is damaging to the lgbt and minority communities. Every sex worker I know has been hired by this man. Wondering if enough of us spoke out if that could get him out of office? Harding followed up the tweet by saying, I cannot do this alone. If youd be willing to stand with me against LG please let me know. The only senator with the initials LG is South Carolinas Lindsey Graham, a Republican senator who has been in office since 2003 and is known for supporting anti-gay policies. Twitter has also associated his name with the trend, as seen in the screencap. Lady G is reportedly the nickname that the senator is known by among sex workers. Graham has not commented on the allegations and there has not yet been any evidence presented to back up the claims.
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KentuckyWoman
(6,685 posts)Mr.Bill
(24,300 posts)So everybody be careful what you say about Trump.
demmiblue
(36,864 posts)But enjoy your hands.
ShazzieB
(16,412 posts)It's kind of a pain sometimes (for example, I have a hell of a time finding gloves that fit). But fortunately for me, people with ridiculously small hands are not an oppressed minority in the U.S. (or as far as I know, any other). I've never heard of anyone being deprived of employment or housing for having small hands, and when I got married, no one refused to bake a wedding cake for me because of the size of my hands. Never heard of anyone being small hand bashed, either.
Making fun of Trump's small hands is not even kinda sorta almost in the same ballpark as using homophobic slurs.
demmiblue
(36,864 posts)Retrograde
(10,137 posts)As a woman I feel insulted that a seemingly large section of the population thinks that referring to or implying a biological man is a woman is ok.
Demovictory9
(32,457 posts)Rabrrrrrr
(58,349 posts)or any insult that is based on someone's sexuality, body shape, or looks.
Stop it.
sarchasm
(1,012 posts)We must be better than that!
COL Mustard
(5,900 posts)I'd never heard the term "Lady G" but wouldn't use it anyway.
Linseed is far more appropriate IMO, with linseed oil and all.
rateyes
(17,438 posts)Shitface asshole works for me.
dsc
(52,162 posts)never, not ever, consider using membership in any other minority group being used as an insult as OK. While I don't want to see Ms. Psaki to be fired for her tweet about Lindsey Graham, it is literally unimaginable that if she had called him a secret Muslim she wouldn't have been cashiered forthwith. Or imagine if she had said he secretly had the blood of African American blood and called him a 'thug' while doing so, again fired by end of business. But here, she is still being defended by the majority of liberals as far as I can tell.
This isn't about hypocrisy or any other virtuous notion. It is about a contemptable man, who since he is contemptable, it is just hunky dory to insult him by calling him gay. When I was young it would be faggot, faggot, faggot. Now it is Lady G, Miss Thing, and I am sure in some quarters faggot still. I am not asking for a retroactive standard of justice to be applied to current figures, but demanding an apology and a change of behavior seems to be a reasonable ask. It really does. It also seems a reasonable ask that liberals understand this isn't cool. It isn't nice. And yes, it still causes real harm to real people in real places.
Lucinda
(31,170 posts)MissMillie
(38,560 posts)I call Lady Gaga "Lady G"
milestogo
(16,829 posts)Its like when the army boss yells at his reports and calls them girls or ladies - its meant as a put down.
Polybius
(15,428 posts)Even if he is in the closet, he's still a man and not a lady.