Lost a friend yesterday. And yes, I know, I shouldn't use DU as Therapy.

[Xolodno]

Known him since we were teenagers. But the last few years, he's gone into a anti government and now anti vaccine "mode".

Says the only reason people get the vaccine is because of fear and I'm thinking, uh dude, sounds like your the one with the fear of government.

Anyway, he posted some BS about COVID and I made a joke. In the past no big deal, trading insults was a game to us and laugh about it over a beer...or two, three...whose counting.

But apparently, this time, it was different. He went into a tirade on facebook and messenger (even his enablers didn't respond). I responded by saying he had my number and if what I was saying was offending him, he could have just called me and I would back off. He attacked my family and I pointed out, despite numerous contradictions, I never called him out or attacked his family. But I also know he is not on good terms with his parents and in-laws....and all of them are Trump supporters. But apparently I'm going to hell because I got vaccinated...and given, if forced to, give a sermon from the Bible, I can and have done so numerous times. And I've read the Book of Mormon, Quran, Dead Sea Scrolls, Nag Hamadi texts, etc. Could easily blow the BS he spouted out of the water and into space.

And yes, I know, this isn't new. Seen a lot of posts about this and I've admitted to having to walk away from a family member...but I kind of expected it. This time it was different, we both had each other's back for years. And at the same time, I'm not sorry this happened. But as one relative told me about a sister who I don't have contact anymore with...she's eventually going to come back and want your help. So, resigning myself to the same with this issue with him.

He shows up on my doorstep tomorrow asking for help, I'll give it to him and then some.

Not asking for anything. Just venting here because I need to. But it sure does suck to see what the brainwashing of the right is doing to family's and friends. Be good to each other and peace out. And I know, this is likely to get worse before it gets better.

And again, yes, I know, I should not use DU as Therapy.

[Skittles]

1. no problem using DU as therapy

and I know the feeling, I declined getting with an ex-coworker who is in town when I found out he voted for Trump.....twice.....sorry, I don't want to know these fucking people

[Ocelot II]

2. What's wrong with using DU as therapy? If you need professional therapy

it won't substitute for that, but there's nothing wrong with venting on DU. That's great therapy, actually. Sorry about your friend, but sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your life for the sake of your sanity and your blood pressure.

[KarenS]

12. I agree with you,,, venting on DU is kind of what we do,,,,, n/t

[Xolodno]

19. Yeah I know. All to well.

But its never pleasant. This time, it got to me. There are political divides with family an friends, but never that aggressive. Maybe I've been lucky, save two family members. But I expected it from them, this time, yeah I should have knew, guess I was fooling myself.

[Tree-Hugger]

3. I'm sorry you lost a friend

I have lost friends for similar reasons.

I think it's okay to use DU as therapy. Your feelings are valid and you have a right to express them.

[tblue37]

4. Many well-known, -loved DUers use DU for therapy from time to time. I don't think it bothers anyone.

[niyad]

5. I am so very sorry this happened. Unfortunately, it is happening far too often, courtesy of

the rwnj's.

Glad you knew that you could come here to vent, as many do. Who told you not to?

[Xolodno]

16. No one.

But I've always fought against the odds. I know what its like to starve, because of family religious insanity, But I got the free meals in school. Because I forged and reported how poor we were. Just used to doing things myself with the exception of the friendships I made and helping each other, yeah, I pulled myself up by my boot straps...which others who spout that never do.

I knew this was going to happen eventually, saw it coming. But when I made the decision to pull the plug on my father, even though it was the right one, it doesn't leave you. And others who've I talked to that did the same, told me it never leaves you. Ending things now feels similar, I would take a bullet for him, helped him in a number of bad situations, etc and vice versa...but its obvious things have changed. He will eventually come around, know him too well. But, it won't be the same...sadly, I've been through something similar before.

Sorry for rambling. And yes I know, many vent on DU, but I like to crack jokes and have some light hearted fun. Guess I was in denial it would come to a point we have to walk separate ways. I don't feel bad about it, because I know I made the right decision, but it still hurts.

[maxsolomon]

6. Ugh, that sounds awful.

The Right Wing has brainwashed half the country for 40 fucking years.

My sympathies.

[TreasonousBastard]

7. Go ahead-- you're on firm ground. He doesn't know how right he is about fear. My parents...

had me vaccinated as a kid because they were terrified of polio. And scarlet fever, and a whole mess of other things.

When I was drafted, the Army filled me with vaccines because they were afraid of a soldier getting sick in combat.

I get flu shots and tetanus boosters because I am afraid of those things.

And I just got Covid shots because I'm really afraid of dying from that thing.

Fear rules!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

8. So sorry about your former friend.

But DU is a great place for therapy. Many of us use this place that way.

[blm]

9. You're definitely heard here.

So many of us share similar experiences.

[Baltimike]

10. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry you felt like you had to announce

that you don't mean to use DU as therapy. We're all here just trying to figure things out together.

[TwilightZone]

11. Nothing wrong with using DU as therapy.

The best therapy is whatever works and whatever helps. If that's DU, then this place is as good as any.

Completely agree with you on the brainwashing by the right. Personally, I had to finally dump FB last year because I just couldn't take the dumb anymore, particularly from people who I thought I knew. They bought the worst of Trump and the right.

The thing with brainwashing is that it leads people to block out everything but their preferred narrative, and for many, there's just no getting through the blockade. Coming to terms with that can be a challenge.

[badhair77]

13. Vent away. You have no idea how many others in the same position you may have helped.

Many are lurkers and don’t post. I hope you find some peace.

[Xolodno]

18. I'm fine and at peace.

But it still hurts.

I know I made the right decision and my wife says I made the right decision. And we would have never met if it wasn't for him. But he's not the same person I knew 30+ years ago.

Shit, he made up a conspiracy about the boat that blocked the Suez Canal.

But I know him well. There is something going on his life. He's been putting up a "front" for awhile. Just wish he come to reality sooner.

[regnaD kciN]

14. I had a good friend from back in boarding school...

...who I lost track of over the years, then connected with again on Facebook. We communicated for a few months, then I stopped hearing from him and found out he had unfriended me from checking my status. On the possibility that it happened by mistake, I sent him another friend request, but never got a response.

Now, this was years ago. I figured it was probably because I was posting a lot of political stuff, and he didn't want to get deluged with it. I will grant that he was always more conservative than I, but not outrageously so; back when we were young, it really amounted to him being thoroughly cynical about '60s idealism, and thinking that capitalism had a lot of good points. So, center-right, but not outrageously wingnut about it. Nonetheless, I reasoned that he wouldn't want to hear my thoughts on politics 24/7, so backed away. A shame, but no big deal.

A few months ago, I looked him up again. Now, at least according to the posts he had viewable by the public, he had gone full Trumper, full "Second Amendment rights," and seemingly full Q-Anon as well. I guess, looking back, I'm not all that surprised, as he always had a consciousness of being "working class" that could easily have made him receptive to Trump's shtick of being "for the ordinary guy the Democrat elitists look down on." Still, it was disappointing. Checking back in a few minutes ago, I notice that his own political posts seem to have come to an end after January; I'm hoping that means the fog is beginning to clear for him, but I'm not going to let my expectations get too high.

[Funtatlaguy]

15. I haven't lost friends but have downgraded some to acquaintances.

Just can’t have all of that negativity and lying in my life on a regular basis.

[Whatthe_Firetruck]

17. If DU is the only place you can unload...

Then that's what we're here for.

Anyone who disagrees didn't have to click on the thread. They knew what they were getting into.

[barbtries]

20. i've lost a brother and my only lifelong friend.

i feel ya.
They're not into Q as far as i know but they have ... changed. Love is not as important as owning the libs, and hating POC, etc. We don't talk; i consider them toxic and do not reach out, and neither do they. But I still love them and believe that somewhere inside their forgotten hearts they still love me. Whether we'll ever speak again before we begin dying off, I don't know. We're in our 60s and 70s.

this thread on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties

it's basically all I read Reddit for. It is a feature of the republican party of 2021 and QAnon, trumpsters, etc, that the minority of people who believe the propaganda believe it so fervently that they are throwing their loved ones away by the thousands. Mothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children...it's tragic.

We must somehow some way find a way back to a shared reality. A line should be drawn between free speech and free propaganda. Propaganda is destroying families and people have died.

DU is therapy, isn't it???

I only did Twitter after trump became president and one day responded to a post that said after this administration we'll all need group therapy, "Isn't that what twitter is for?" Sure was for me; i only go there very rarely since we have a new President Biden.

[Cary]

21. Wherever did you hear that rule from?

I read your post and I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you feel some relief from your grief.

[live love laugh]

22. I don't think this is therapy it's politically relevant. And sad. 😕 nt

[mahina]

23. I really appreciate you not just pretending everything was fine with his BS

Last edited Tue Apr 13, 2021, 02:12 PM - Edit history (2)

And trying to get through as you could. That takes courage and determination I’m sure you did it with love if also with a little ribbing.

It’s so hard to see how far the extremists have gotten in our society and our families.

If we will ever get through to them, who knows. The one on one confrontations and loving arguments can’t be avoided. There’s no other way sometimes.


Wishing both of you healing and wishing him awakening too.